Education

The Joys of Parenthood

Dear Readers,                                          my son and my two granddaughters

 

This is just a matter of opinion and not intended to advise parents how to raise their children. Have you noticed that modern thinking parents no longer believe that it takes “ A village to raise a child”.  I am a baby boomer raised in the South by two parents who were very much disciplinarians. My father was a soldier and he believed in “ spoil the child, but use the rod” when necessary. My mother used a different approach when disciplining her children, she took away privileges, withheld allowance, and removed you from participating in important family events like birthday parties and BBQ’s. Above all my parents communicated with me and my siblings in a loving manner and only displayed displeasure by the frown on their face or the tone of disappointment in their voice. I have recently taken to observing the manner that modern parents verbalize displeasure towards their children and it is shocking. I have heard parents threatening their children how they would cause them physical harm for misbehaving. No, I am not talking about a minor spanking on the bottom, I have heard parents threatening to slap, kick, and punch their children.  And they do so by using the utmost foul language to describe their disapproval because their child is “ acting out”. Children will be l children, and what I see is parents who are getting younger and younger, and lack the patience, compassion, and the understanding that their world as an adult changed the moment they chose to bring a life into the world, and parenthood is a 100 percent 24 hour, 7 days a week, 356 days a year responsibility. Most young people become parents without a solid foundation, in other words, they are not emotionally, mentally, or financially prepared. They stumble through parenthood not grasping that true parenting means sacrifices, being opened to learning, and the understanding that being a parent means that life revolves around the needs of their children

Most young parents still feel the need to “ have a life” . Here’s some new information: your children are your life. Once you made the adult choice to bring forth life you do not get to choose which days you feel like being a parent. Your first allegiance as a parent is for the safety and welfare of your children. If nobody has told these young modern parents, let me have the pleasure to be the first to inform them that being a parent is a true gift, and children are the best part of our society, they remind us what’s important and they show adults that we are never to old to nurture the child that will always be in our spirit. Children encourage us to laugh, be silly, playful, and they give the best and sincere hugs. I don’t profess to be the world’s greatest parent. My one and only son ( who I called my one true love) was born into a world to a young unlearned and naive mother, and a father who misled me to believe that I was the love of his life, and that we were going to be married and live happily ever after. Well, he abandoned us when my son was 10 months old. I failed as a young parent because I lacked adult guidance and a support system. My mother was disgusted with me for getting “ knocked up”, my father did the best he could, but he was aging and illness took over his life. Every other adult in my life was dealing with their own chaos. I had to work to support me and my son,  and I never truly understood how to bond with him. He paid the price for being born to young parents. Today, he is a proud father of three, and he often tells me that he will never leave his children, and I know this is because of the manner that he was raised, by a strict grandmother, and absentee parents. 

 

my son

I am grateful today that my son, my one true love, has taught me a sincere lesson of unconditional forgiveness,  and at the age of 39, he allows me to be the mother that I always wanted to be, but didn’t know how. It’s like I said, children can teach us lessons, my son taught me that it’s not what happened, but what we will do now. I hope that many people will read this and tuck their children in tonight and let them know that they are loved. 

 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

Random Thoughts

The Sweet Smell of Peace

Dear Readers, 

Since we’ve been under the order to socially disconnect these are some words, emotions, and feelings people are expressing either verbally or posted on social media. Anger, panic, fear, disbelief, shock, depression, sadness, worry, uncertainly, outrage, and not to mention sleepless nights.The one word I don’t hear anyone verbalizing is PEACE. Today, my mission is to uplift you and to be the voice of HOPE.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When life becomes a little chaotic, take a moment and say the word PEACE. When PANIC starts to smother you breathe and think PEACE. If  ANGER, FRUSTRATION, and CONFUSION cloud your mind scream out the word PEACE. We seem to live in a time of SADNESS, DEPRESSION, WORRY, and UNCERTAINTY that leads to sleepless nights. 

Take a moment to be still and breathe in the sweet smell of PEACE. 

Photo by rovenimages.com on Pexels.com
Education

What’s Important Now

Dear bloggers,  it’s been about one week since New York City has been slowly shutting down due to the Corona-virus. No matter what state you live in, today, I want to encourage you to remember this too shall pass. I invite you to think about the word WIN, What’s Important Now. Right where you are, think about what’s important now. Since this lock down has been set in place, people have been in a hurry to get back to “ normal” .  I hear people talk about feelings of fear, panic, chaos, depression, anger and confusion considering the circumstances these are all legitimate emotions. 

 

Question, how are you fueling these emotions? Are you a news hoarder?  It’s okay to check in for an update, but it is your Television, Cell phone, I pad, and Radio on 24 hours, so that your mind  is being bombarded with News. Yes, the fear about money, bills, rent, mortgage, car payments and so on are real. How is worry and panic going to solve your troubles? Try to avoid adding more stress and tension in your home during this period of being shut in. 

 

I suggest you try to focus on What’s Important Now. 

 

Focus on remaining as calm as you can. It’s important to maintain structure, make plans for how you’re going to spend the days, weeks maybe months. It’s okay to go out as a family for walks, exercise is important to maintain strength, eat well, avoid loading up on junk foods. Keep a regular sleep schedule. Use this time for self reflection individually and as a family. Maybe now is the time to create a new future for your family, or are you willing to go back to life as you call “ normal” . This crisis will change us as people and as a nation.  Are you going to come out of this crisis with a greater appreciation for family, God, your house of worship, place of employment, health, and home. Or better awareness about What’s Important Now? Will your bond with the people who matter most  be stronger? 

 

 I am thankful that I have a roommate and I am not alone. I am thankful to be able to work from home, and earn a paycheck.  I am thankful for my live Facebook chats to share words of empowerment. I am grateful I can talk to a community of bloggers. I have my life, my health, my family and friends are protected. This is What’s Important Now. 

 

My thoughts and prayers, are with the world.

 

Short Stories

I Crave Love

Dear Readers,  Today,I was asked this question, do I believe in love? I had to take my time and think in order to give an authentic answer. I truly don’t know if there was ever a moment that I experienced love. I have mistaken other feelings and emotions to be love. To say that I have been in a place or moment to feel from the depths of my soul the warmth, peace, protection, affection, loyalty, compassion, empathy and selflessness that is pure love that flows from the depths of another person’s soul. A love that knows no lies, speaks truth, is not deceitful and is as flawless as the smile of a new born baby…hmmmm….I can’t say I believe in something I never touched.

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen, I am  J. R. Floyd,  creator of Dragthepen, host of Conversations with J. R. available on You Tube ,and author of two novels:

 

Available on Amazon.

Random Thoughts

Season of Reflection

 

Dear Readers,

Hello and Good day. We are entering the season of Lent. A time to withdraw into a quiet place for reflection, fasting and abstinence. Most people view this 40 days of reflection as something they have to give up. I encourage you to think about this LENTEN season as a time for prayer and to disconnect from the people, places and things that hinder your emotional and spiritual growth. During this LENTEN season I have decided to disconnect from social media and HULU. Yes, I am a big HULU watcher. However, I will continue to post my Conversations with J. R. Floyd videos. I pray that all goes well for you during this season of LENT.

Uncategorized

Dear girlfriend

DYAN STORM

Well, no compliments but i have words for you

But first, i’ll start with how my heart feels…

Would it be ok if I took some of your time?
Would it be ok if I wrote you a rhyme?

Would it be ok if I opened my heart?

Would it be ok if I took on the part

Of being your man and showed you a view,

One that only a real man could do?

Would it be ok if I could make you smile?

Would it be ok if I held you for a while?

Would it be ok if I kissed your face?

Would it be ok if I were to replace

All the men in your past that just wouldn’t

Show you what true love feels like?

Would it be alright to look in your eyes?

Would it be alright to never tell lies?

Would it be…

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Drama

Dear Love

Dear, Readers, at the start of this new year ( 2020) I invited my readers, supporters and viewers of my You tube Channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, to join me in a long adventure with writing a letter to self. for each month i read my letter to self on my you tube channel and live on Facebook. the mission of my Brand, conversations with J. R. Floyd is to uplift people who;s heart and spirit have been broken. if you missed my letter to self in January you can find it on my You Tube channel. thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

 

Dear Love, 

For a long, long time I did not know who you were. Oh, I have heard talk about romantic love, passionate love, poetic love, fake love, black love, sister love and love of a spouse. My entire life I did not know that the intense longing in my soul was because I needed you, and I  did not understand that authentic love comes from the pure dept of a person’s heart and spirit. My misunderstanding of love begin when I was a child I did not know the sweet comforts of the words “ I love You”  there weren’t any loving hugs, night time kisses, bedtime stories, and no one scared away the things that went bump in the night. Instead, I was shooed away told to disappear, be quiet and keep my needs to myself. So, I went through my childhood, adolescence and adulthood thirsting for the security, protection, warmth, a sense of belonging and a deep soul connection. Along this journey to find LOVE, I mistaken lust for love, men’s aggressive and jealous behavior as love, my thinking was wrong because I took the verbal and aggression towards as an expression of LOVE.. 

 

I did some things that I am ashamed of in exchange for what I thought was LOVE. I was betrayed, conned, mislead, and broken over and over, and I once almost conspired to sell my soul to the devil for the sake of feeling this LOVE. At this point in my life it is too late for the father daughter talk, my father is no longer with me in the flesh. And my relationship with my mother is distant and broken, I made many attempts to reach out to her to ask why had she been an emotionally detached mother, but she ignored my plea.. 

 

So, here I am LOVE, not chasing you anymore. I have shut down the lustful desires of my flesh in exchange of getting to know who I am,  loving myself is my only priority. You see LOVE, I have been looking for you in all the wrong faces and hearts. You have lead me down some long dark dank tunnels only to abandon me. I will no longer be fooled by your smooth talk, unfulfilled promises, and your touch of fornication will no longer have a hold on my soul. 

 

My first LOVE will be me. Yes, you heard me. I have begun the process of loving me first and unconditionally. I am going to give to myself security and protection from all the Don Juans  of this world who seek to suck out my soul and drain my spirit. I will provide for me, and keep promises to myself, I look forward to each day with joy and excitement of seeing me grow into the person I can LOVE. I am not going to look for you, LOVE anymore. This is a new day, I am walking a new path, and you should come to find me, and by the time you catch up to me I will be the LOVE you are looking for.  

 

Next months letter to self, Dear  LIFE.