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Dump the Wish List

Dear Readers,
The issues isn’t about making new years resolutions its about whether your resolutions have purpose. In other words, what is the intentions behind the Resolutions? Most people begin a new year with the hopes that the new number in the year will make and improvements in their lives. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if your not making changes in your thinking and  behavior then what sense does the lip service of a resolution makes?

There is not one person on this plant that doesn’t have the right to have a better quality of life; but wishing isn’t going to make the changes in your life happen. There is no magic spell or  secret, the main point to change is to be specific about what you want, and if what your seeking is the right fit for your life. When choosing to make resolutions make sure your goals are realistic and reachable.

Some factors to consider if your in a marriage or partnership how will your individual resolutions affect the relationship? And is your partner supportive of the changes? And most important is the Resolutions about the change of your relationship with your partner?

Are you ready to be consistent, persistent, patient, aggressive, and humble in accomplishing your Resolutions? What does these Resolutions mean to you? If you desire to save money are you willing to cut useless spending, acquire a second job, create a budget, and stay focused until you reach the amount you want to save? One of the most popular Resolution is to loose weight. Are you ready to clean out your pantry of the unhealthy foods? Hire a trainer and work through day after day of soreness and pain until your body is fit? Drink 8 glasses of water per day and show up to your workout even if your trainer cancel the session?

Is your Resolution to leave a relationship that is no longer a good fit for you? Because staying means you will never be able to heal from the mental and emotional damage cause by a dyfuncational relationship.

Again, I ask the question, if your making a Resolution or Resolutions what is the purpose? What is the meaning of creating a list of promises without an agenda? My intention for focusing on this subject of Resolutions is to remind my readers  that a wish is just a wish.  A to do list isn’t effective if there isn’t a plan to get busy doing the work to check off each task as they are completed.

Dreams are ideas that begin in our minds and it is the excitement of the thought of turing the dream into a reality.  But what happens after a few days, weeks when the excitement turns into hard work, discipline, staying focus by eliminating distractions, and moving obstacles that will impede your plans.

Now I ask you. What is your vision for your life?

Random Thoughts

I’m just saying

Dear Readers,

I don’t understand living in a society that is complacent about women and little girls being raped, molested, forced into marriage,and child brides, encouraging women to remain in abusive relationships, being side chicks, sex workers, baby mother’s instead of honorable wives. Why are we placing more value on men, yet, we disgrace the women who risk their lives to give birth to men.

Thank  you for stopping by Dragthepen

Education

Born of a Woman part 2

Dear Readers,

By the way… Continuing on the subject of the shady treatment towards  women. Let me further explain when women say, ” they don’t need a man or they prefer not to be in a relationship”. Women are not confused, insane, a lesbian, or  to trying to be a man, these are some of the judgments society use against women who choose to opt out of engaging in relationships that do not honor them.

Usually, women who desire to be alone or find strength in a sisterhood are women who have experienced  molestation at the hands of male family members, or experienced abusive relationships, and their wounds are deep and difficult to heal. There are women who have been cheated on and stranded in financial situations with children that caused them to find unpleasant means to survive. Women are at the end of their rope they are emotionally and mentally broken, and spiritual bankrupted by men who have ran so much game on them that they lost faith in any relationship being real.

Hello men of this world, let the truth be told. Women seek truth, warmth, emotional closeness, support, communication, monogamy, protection, and real guidance ( not a dictatorship). Women desire to be in partnerships that support their emotional and intellectual, and personal growth.

Women are fed up with being sexual objects, baby mothers, common law wives or live in partnerships without the benefits of being honored as a wife. Women are discovering  the joy and fulfillment in being single, acquiring an education, earning higher incomes, traveling, and discovering hidden talents that they turn into businesses. Women desire to have their voices heard and their concerns taken seriously.

Women are moving forward without men, and each time we are pushed back the harder we come back.

The wait is over the choice is yours. Thank you for stopping by Drathepen.

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Random Thoughts

From a Woman You Are Born

Dear Readers,

I don’t mean to start the New Year off on a sour note, but there is something that’s been on my mind and I would like to hear what you have to say about this matter. I have noticed a black-lash focused on women. There is this idea that what has gone wrong with men is because women need be better. A very popular Pastor, stated that ” women who say they don’t need a man is suffer from the spirit of lesbianism”. It is also said that women who are fortunate to be self- sufficient, and that their well being isn’t depended upon a man that these women are single because they are not allowing a man to be a man.

Black women are are the top of this accusation because it is said that they are the reason why millions of black men are incarcerated. These men have lost their place in their homes because some women have risen up and taken charge, so men no longer feel useful, in other words, “they don’t feel like a man”.

So, there are books, conferences, webinars,and seminars for the purpose of getting women to understand their submissive role, as a mother and wife, and not as an individual, and some how by going outside of their normal roles they don’t fit into society. There is a course titled, Wife in Training, in this course women are being told to wait and prepare for their husbands. Women are being told not to date because dating leads to sex, and a woman who have had multiple sex partners is referred to as used or loose. I have observed and spoken to women who are waiting in anger and frustration because they desire to be deemed ” a good women”. Some women are young and have little to no experience with men, therefore, their minds and hearts can be molded by the first man who comes along and says those magic words, ” I love You”.
Forced marriages, arranged marriages, women sold into marriages, women who are married to abusers who on the outside portrays himself to be the perfect husband and a pillar of the community. Women are suffering behind closed doors due to financial abuse, cheating husbands, absentee husbands, the kind that works, pays the bills and arrives home when he feels it needed. Women are being told to stay with their husbands because being single is not good. As I recall the Bible says in Genesis, God Said” it is not good for a man to be alone”. Have you noticed that when a women frees herself from a relationship that doesn’t allow her to grow once she lands back on her feet she glows.

There are smart, talent, educated women having to hold themselves back, so they don’t take the spot light off of their man. Look at the case of Ike and Tina Turner, and who turned out to be the winner?
Women are leaving marriages that they have been for 10, 20, 30 plus years, why, because they weren’t allowed to flourish they were stuck under the titles of wife, mother, cook, car pooler, problem solvers, and their worth and contribution never equals that of a man who goes out and slay the bacon because he is doing what a man is supposed to do.
I wonder why so much aggression toward women? Women beaten down with such disgraceful labels, and women in Hollywood are baring it all and engaging in cat fights in order to stay on top. Women are used in videos not for their talent, but like porn stars and freaks. There are plenty of women who are making the choice to be single because of their experiences and they don’t want to settle. Men are bachelors for years and they are celebrate as doing the right thing because they are avoiding ” gold diggers”.

I am going to stop here. I hope that I have gotten my point across. To the women who are fortunate to find a man who will respect and love you until death does it part, God bless you. For the women like me who have decided enough of useless relationships and choose to remain single, and be happy with life, good for you. To the men of this world I say, no women likes to be abused, conned, held back, lied to and strung along, and what goes around comes around. and when you find yourself in your old age looking for a caretaker, just remember in your youth all the chances you had to embrace love, but you wanted to be a player instead.

The choice is yours, the wait is over.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

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Education

Letters to Self

Happy New Year and Welcome to Dragthepen

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I am back from a much needed rest. I have had time to reset and refocus, and I am feeling stronger emotionally. I have a new plans for moving forward with  my new brand http://www.conversationswithjrfloyd.com/ and for my blog Dragthepen.

Questions, are you planning to start 2020  with making useless resolutions? Are you setting yourself up for failure, again by making  promises to live your best life? Have you sat down and spend time in deep thought about YOU and the plans for this best life. 

let me help you get started I want to introduce my new theme and challenge for the 1st 6 months of 2020. 

1st,  I challenge you to make a list of your top 6 goals, this takes real thinking about areas of your life that need to improve in order to achieve your goals. There are some things that you might have to clear out of your life in order to make room to receive the new blessings.

2nd, turn those goals into a creative vision board: if you need help in this area there are tons of video’s on you tube to get you started. Word of caution don’t go crazy with unrealistic goals. I am talking about things that you know you can accomplish by making small steps that turn into to big results.

3rd, I would like to help you rid yourself of emotional baggage and fears  by suggesting that your write letters to yourself.

Create a space in your house where you can setup your visions board and write these letters to self. this must be a place where your going to be undisturbed, remember this space is for you to send time looking at your vision back and mapping out plans to make your goals a reality. In these letters you can write about emotions or experiences that you’ve been suppressing, like past break ups, people, pain, anger, poor choices you’ve made, or for letting go of your dreams.

I am suggesting this letter writing exercise because the letters that I have written to myself  have helped me to go deeper into my healing process and open areas of my life that I have hold onto for too long. 

For more on this letter writing process you can follow me on my You Tube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd or m live chat on facebook……in the coming New Year 2020, I will be sharing live my letters to Self and giving my viewers a new topic to write about each month.

Thank you for reading.

http://www.conversationswithjrfloyd.com

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Random Thoughts

A new number doesn’t mean change

Dear Readers,

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So, the count down to the New Year ( 2020) has begun and many people are feeling the anxiety of an approaching new year. You are not alone in your HOPES that maybe a ” New Year” will being more joy, happiness, adventure, and less drama. There is absolutely noting wrong with HOPING, but if our not putting the effort, time, energy, work, and developing a plan of how your going to make the change you desire. Are you aware of why you haven’t had a better quality of life?

Before the ending of 2019, have you sat down in deep contemplation about the obstacles, mental and emotional baggage that you continue to carry into each ” New Year”, yet you keep HOPING. A new number or a new year isn’t going to change any of the situations in your life unless you change. Don’t expect the people or situation around you to change if your not willing to get clear and understand that you can’t continue behaving in the same manner expecting new results.

If you continue to walk the same path than this means you have become stagnate and complacency has set in. So, just using lip services of wishing for change isn’t going to bring about the beauty of a new life. If your living in FEAR of the unknown then letting go of the old in exchange for the new isn’t for you.

Here is a question to ask yourself, How bad do you want or need change? Look around do you like what you see?

How many times are you going to confuse secretly to yourself, ” I am so tried of this?”  Whatever your ” This ” is  making unless New Years Resolutions will help to bring change if you don’t take control of your life. The conversation needs to take place with yourself. I had a dear friend and co worker, who recently celebrated her 56th birthday by taking a cruise, she passed away on that cruise, and the lost was shocking to all of us who knew her.  The point is she made everyday that she lived count. She’s been taking two cruises a year since 2008, This was her way of seeing the words and experiencing the joy, excitement and adventure of  life.

This is your life, your the writer of the script and you can change, edit, revise as much as you want to until you have what you can called ” Your Best Life”. nothing is perfect and it never will be, but haven’t you waited long enough?

The wait is over the choice is yours.

HAPPY 2020 from DRAGTHEPEN

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