Walking through the park, feeling the wet grass under my feet, watching the squirrels run like scavengers to find the hidden nut.
I don’t remember the last time I have walked this way. I am free to feel to think as I please.
Why isn’t my soul leaping forward with the joy of a newly redeemed sinner?
Even my shadow seems to hide from me.
My spirit withering away like the flowers bidding goodbye, to the luxury of the warm summer day.
Maybe if I walk a little farther a change of scenery will bring new awakening to my dry bones.
I am alone standing here in a shadow of once was. Time seems to be standing still for me.
The drumming of my heart is so loud its drowning out the sounds of nature.
I feel like Shadrach, Meshak, and Abendigo.
I am prepared to build my great pyramid to be forever entombed from the dreariness of this world; buried away from the hardships of life.
No strength, no desire, no passion. Everything is an empty black hole.
Life is hell—an endless, bottomless, fiery tormenting furnace –never again to see the light of day.
Is it too much to ask for a little kindness, for some peace, for some love and understanding?
I doubt that these things exist amongst so much cruelty and death.
The blood runs cold through my veins.
What is this misery? Shall I continue 0n this path…Curious to know what is beyond the boundaries?
I feel like a leper I am so isolated, so divided, so torn between reality and fairy tale.
Life is not worth the struggle… not worth the effort.
I am moving about like a blind fool who seeks the light
No star in the East to light my way. Where are my three wisemen?
My birth is not worth the King’s ransom.
Like Job I desire to return to my mother’s womb?
I can start over. A new birth. Maybe it will be different this time.
A new destiny, a new sun, new moon, a new land.
Different dreams…Oh, what the hell! Whom am I kidding?
I am like Rip Van Winkle sleeping the rest of my life away.