The question of time and Relationships


Greetings from the Mad Dater,

I have a question, why do people say they want to be in a relationship, however, the moment someone express interest in having a relationship with them, they suddenly get BUSY? What do I mean by this, well, there are countless men posting online and walking around in the outside world, who are perpetrating a fraud by pretending not to have time to develop the relationship they claim to be seeking.

The real truth, these same men will make time for a “booty call” or ” a one night stand.” The purpose for dating, not sleep around, and searching online dating services as  another option to meeting that special one who is right for them. Everyday, I hear stories from individuals, who have been emotionally and psychologically damaged by the lies and schemes played on them by those who falsely represent themselves as relationship ready,

I am going to edit my online dating profile to include this line: To the men who don’t have the time to develop a serious relationship because your pretending to be BUSY. KEEP IT MOVING.



Privacy in Relationships


b2ace-news-flashDear readers, Greetings from the mad Dater,

People make up too many relationships rules in order to control their partners.Some of these rules read like the Ten Commandments. Thy shall not have any other friends but me. Thy shall go out and have fun without me. Thy shall  not have any privacy. Healthy boundaries should be established in any relationship, whether it’s between mother and daughter, father and son or an intimate connection between a man and a woman. People take these word, ” we are one” too serious to the point of being overbearing.

Question, should one partner have the right to snoop, open mail, check cell phone,hack into emails, inspect  their mates social media page, listen in on phone calls, to be clingy and a stalker?

It is not  a matter of being an open book, as some people claim we should be in a relationship. It’s not about keeping secrets,  I am not referring to being  deceitful. It’s about putting things in perspective. We don’t OWN our partners, and giving each other the proper space and alone time is good for both parties involved, its called growth.

There is a reason why its my phone, snail mail, Facebook page, etcetera. There  will be a sharing, a person should have the freedom and time to open up, so to speak, without the fear of being interrogated to satisfy their partners insecurities.


Photos taken by aahman_-2




Turn it down the volume Please!

Noise, Noise, everywhere. Am I getting old or is the world getting louder? No place is sacred.

Cell phones ringing, people engaged in loud face to face conversations. Mothers , yelling at crying children, cars honking, the sound of jack hammers cracking through concrete. Traffic officers blowing whistles, sirens blazing, the sound of music blasting out of vehicles. People turning their homes into night clubs, playing music into the wee hours of the morning having no regards for their neighbors peace.

Either people have become sensitized to the noise or they plug up their ears with more noise to block out the surrendering noise. I work in a high stress environment the level of noise is over whelming. None of my co-workers seem to observe how the noise has a negative effect on our job performance.

At the end of each day, I arrive home drained with a throbbing headache; not because of my job as a teacher, or the hour and fifteen minute commute. ITS BECAUSE OF THE NOISE!




Advice to women, from the mad Dater

Greetings from the mad Dater,

I heard this advice on the radio this morning: Four men women should not marry.


  1. The Broke man: If he is broke while you’re dating him, he will continue to be a financial slacker.
  2. Mama’s Boy: Competing with his mother a game no women wants to play.
  3. The Manipulator: Enough said
  4. The Ghoster: A man who fades in and out of a woman’s life. This behavior is confusing and frustrating. Hey, no fair this list isn’t complete, what about the men who are, liars, cheats, jerks, losers, cheap, a bad lay, abusive, commitment phobia…..Feel free to finish the list. What say you?

R.I.P America !!! A voice crying out in the wilderness~

Dear Readers,

My friend Cliff  ( Voice) Williams posted on Facebook, he gave me  permissions to share his thoughts with you.

America you went soft on discipline. You raised the cost of living so high that both parents are always at work, rather than spending time with their children. You took God out of schools. Parents were told ” No you can’t disciple your Kids! Kids had rights blah, blah, blah. Well. American!! You shall reap what you sow, and we have lost a whole generation and turned them into selfish, disrespectful brats who have no respect for people, property or authority!  Things need to change!

What say You America?


Cohabitation versus Maririage


Dear Readers,

“Marriage has lost its importance in today’s society.”  There are many reasons why this statement is true. One key factor is that the old fashion ( baby boomer) values towards marriage has been replaced with modern ( millennial) thinking; and society no longer frowns upon couples who cohabitate  ( live in sin).

There are some pros and cons to shacking up , such as getting to know one another before marriage, testing the waters so to speak. Others do it for financial convenience. Women of this generation put off marriage because of the educational and employment opportunities available to them, which give them a sense of being self sufficient,

Males on the other hand, reject ” settling down” in fear of losing their freedom. Men often compare how their marriage will be based on what they observe their married friends struggle through. Most women except the arrangement of living with their boyfriend in hopes of getting closer to marriage. This is referred to as ” the Waiting Game” a subject I address in my new book.

Men enjoy cohabitation because it allows them to experience being a husband without having to ” put a ring on it.” However, the longer men shack up the more likely he will feel pressured to tie the knot. There is also outside pressure from friends, family, cultural  and religious beliefs  for couples to get married. Most parents who are married are uncomfortable with the idea of their children making the choice to shack up, instead of committing to each by getting married.

I could go on and on about the pros and cons of cohabitation, ultimately, it is the couples choice to do what is right for them.

What say you?


We Who Have Love

We who have love, alas! may not be friends,

Too faint, or yet too fierce the stifled fire-

A random spark-and and lo! our dread desire

Leaps into flame, as through to make


For chill, blank days,and with strange fury


The dying embers of Love’s funeral pyre.

Electric, charged anew, the living wire

A burning message through our torpor


Could we but pledge with loyal hearts and


A friend worthy of the fair, full past,

Now  mutilate, and lost beyond recall,

Then might a Phoenix from its ashes rise

Fit for a soul flight; but we find, aghast,

Love must be nothing if not all in all. ~Corinne Roosevelt Robinson


What say you?



When the time Comes

Greetings from the mad Dater,

wearing the green


When is it time for a make over? A chance for a new start,to press the reset button. Life is constantly changing, and lately I’ve been feeling like life is happening without me being an active participate, staying in the same comfort zone due to the fear of  venturing out into the unknown; afraid of rejection.  I’ve styles my hair in the same way for 20 years.  My manner of dressing lacks flair. elegance and sophistication. As time went by I let my appearance go. It doesn’t matter what others think of me because when I look in the mirror, I don’t enjoy looking at the person who is looking back.

So, with that said, I’ve had my  consultation with a hair stylist and the booked  an appointment; discussed with my fashionista girlfriends about my new attire. In the meantime, I have religiously kept my  bi-weekly mani-pedicure  appointment, I am back in the gym and eating healthy again, good-bye sugar and carbs.

It’s time for Change. I am excited. Here are a few before pictures…stay tuned for the after …


Photos taken by aahman_-10

Photos taken by aahman_-2