Dear readers,

It was August 1, six years ago when I moved into my first one bedroom apartment after living in a studio for 14 years. I had a few boxes, old furniture, 100 books, high hopes and big dreams. I was happy. Today is a very sad day. I feel like I am burying an old friend, I’m being forced out. Not because I am a bad tenant I live in a  private house the landlord abruptly announced, ” The house is being rented, I’m moving my family out-of-state you have to go.” It took me a month to get over the shock. Three months later, my boxes are packed, I am leaving with new furniture,  fifty books,  and more shoes and clothes than I had six years ago.

I live In New York City finding an affordable apartment is not easy and that’s saying it nicely. I have arranged to put my tbelongings  in storage. while living with my long time best girl friendand her 22 year old son.

During the six years in my beautiful one bedroom complete with back yard, I’ve met and dated some horrible men, and made poor financial decisions. I’ve lost some weight, gained the weight, lost the weight and gain the weight back. Studied  for one years at Bible school and received my Ministry Licences. Started my first Blog, wrote and published my first Novel, ” The Waiting Game” on amazon, and entered two short shorties in a contest.  December 2016 completed a Novela ” A Different Flavor of Love” so to be out on amazon. I’m  currently revising a Novel I wrote with a college friend to be published next year. I have a second job$$$$$$$$$$$$$  my income is higher than is was six years ago. I auditioned  for the New York City down chorus, nailed it, this my third season with them. Its amazing I am leaving during the same season I moved in six years ago. And  the real big change I cut my locks after having them for 30 years.

I am sad, angry and feel betrayed. I blame myself. I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t focused. I was too busy try to be a part of a family that wasn’t mine. I feel ashamed, I’m educated, intelligent,  passionate about living life and trying new things. Oh, and I’m an amazing teacher. At the age of 53, I have to put my belongings in storage and live in someone else space.

Where do I go from here? Forward, step by step, day by day. taking on one task at a time. Bury myself in work and my writings. UNTIL I FIND MY OWN SPACE.


10 thoughts on “Reflection

  1. I wish nothing but the best for you. I hope you find a new place soon.We all have made mistakes before but you learn from them. Good luck to you. Keep your head up. Everything will workout for you. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, I am sorry to hear of your having to move after six years of living in one place. I used to live in LA and it was a lot like New York City with the sky high rent. I lived in NYC for a while but the rent was too high for the small amount of space so I moved back to Seattle and then back to New York but to Upstate New York. Now when I want to see the big city I drive there. It’s a lot cheaper, cleaner and less noise out here. But I lost my house during the great recession and it was a real drag having to put all your belonging in storage. i have had more than my share of landlord horrors. Paying attention or not your landlord was going to do whatever they planned no matter what you had done. I think they could have told you at least soon as they made the decision to give you enough time to look elsewhere. But unfortunately most don’t do that. I wish you well in your endearments.


    • Thank you for sharing your experience. I have learned. A few lessons from this: I will never rent an apartment from a private home owner. Second, save , save , save and be prepared for anything. Finally, pay attention to my own life and be careful who I call Friend.


  3. Hello, so sorry to hear about the situation you are in. No need to feel ashamed though. You have lived a full and active life and are successful.
    I feel ashamed because I feel I have wasted much of mine.
    All the best dear one. You are still blessed. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you first for taking the time to read my blog. I use to feel like I wasted many years of my life searching for love. But now i realize all those experiences shaped me to be who I am. Its never to late to have a dream. Think about it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for responding. I actually do believe it’s never too late and am certainly seeking to pursue my dreams. I just have regrets for the time wasted. Now I will consider that I too am the person I am today because of my experiences. Thank you for sharing this.


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