I have Two Words

Dear readers,

Hi, its me again. I’m enjoying my new creative outlet. Oh, you haven’t heard. I’ve created a You Tube channel. I like to think of it as my Talk Show: conversations from my Couch, hosted by J. R. Floyd. I am having so much fun being in font of the camera talking about problems of everyday life.  Watch this segment about one word that I feel don’t mix well in a relationship. PRIVACY.

 

Don’t Say Forever……

Dear Readers,  A sneak peek into a short story in progress. Happy Reading.

Don’t Say Forever……

I did not hear the urgency in her voice I was excited about our weekly rant session. The first clue that something was wrong we didn’t meet at our usual diner for loaded nachos and Long Island Ice tea, with an extra shot. Instead, we met at a fancy tea-house in China Town. When I sat down Katherine looked at me with a death stare and said,

“I hope you have some spare time, this could take a while.” When I looked into Katherine’s usually big brown, beautiful, shiny, eyes, they were dull and blood-shot.

The atmosphere of the teahouse is solemn and dim. This disturbed me because I was in the mood for the cheerful, bright lights and noise of the diner. Kathrine ordered a pot of Earl Grey tea and a glass of sake. My thoughts were racing I’m confused, we talked two days ago and she was her normal lively self. After the table was set and I made tea Katherine took a long drink from her glass of sake, and initiated the conversation…

“This was supposed to be the greatest adventure of my life. I have waited a decade for my King and soul mate. When Samuel got down on one knee, and placed this ring on my finger and ask me to be his life partner, at that moment I felt as though I’d awaken from a long and terrible nightmare.”

I’ve known Katherine for fifteen years she’s been my rock and road dog. I’ve seen this fearless women battle life struggles like a true warrior Queen. She has slayed some ugly demons and dethroned men, and like a hunger and anger lioness, she pursued her ambition of becoming a tenure English Professor and accomplished that goal. The person sitting in front of me, I don’t know her.  Katherine took another drink from her glass of sake and continued.

“It’s my fault, I moved too fast. I should have taken your advice and kept my apartment; my haven; where no one dictated to me. He kept pushing me to move in. I wanted to wait until we were husband and wife.”

Katherine ordered another glass of sake. I reached out across the table grabbing her hand; she squeezed mine with a death grip. Our eyes locked. In hers, I saw grief, regret and something I’ve never seen before defeat.

Kathrine continued, “This relationship is a mistake. Samuel is smothering me and wants to take away my life. He want me to become the relationship.”

I had to say something; I wanted her to stop and breathe. “I’m confused. I thought you said he’s being supportive.”

“Yes, he was while we were under two separate roofs. Samuel says that my goals are for a single person, and since I’m no longer single, I need to think about what’s good for the relationship.”

“What?”

“I rejected an offer to teach for six weeks in Korea because he feels that we haven’t established a solid foundation. He follows me everywhere, he is clingy, needy and he whines. There’s no peace in the house because he talks nonstop, and he interrogates me about everything. The only peace I have is when he isn’t home, when I’m at work and when he doesn’t follow me to church.”

Guilt swept over me. I encouraged Katherine to open her heart and give Samuel a chance.    I watched Katherine dry her teary eyes.

“Come stay with me.”

“Oh no, I will remain right where I am for the next two years.”

“What? Why? I don’t understand.”

“I’ve pondered this situation for weeks; I don’t have to think about forever with Samuel.”

“I don’t get it; you’re going to continue to live with a man you say is not the one.”

“Yes, I am in the best possible position to achieve my goals with financial ease. What is our biggest struggle as single women?”

“Rent.”

“Yes, I don’t pay rent, Samuel does. I pay the smaller expenses. I will continue to play the dutiful fiancé while completing my next two novels, my M.F.A. in addition to going back to the  New York City DownTown Chours to sing at Carnegie Hall, and Samuel will be standing beside me.  In two years, I can retire from teaching. To solidify the deal I will marry him and plan our honeymoon in Aruba.”

“Now I’m truly lost, you’re going to marry him.”

“Yes. Remember the little villa I have in the hills of St. Vincent that no one knows about except you.”

“Yes.”

“While we’re on our blissful honeymoon I will escape and go there. When he reports me missing he’ll become the main suspect.”

“Are you seriously going to do this?”

“Yes. I will be very happy on my little island; while he sits in jail.”

“What make you think Samuel will go to jail?”

“I’ll plant evidence pointing to his guilt.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Oh, no I’m not going to get you involved in this the less you know the better.”

“I won’t let you do this alone. Remember we promised to be friend until the end, no matter what.”

“This is going to be a long two years, but I can’t leave unless I have the funds to support myself. I have a friend who works for a bank in St. Vincent she, will help me transfer my retirement checks there without anyone being able to trace them.”

My best friend will be gone in two years. What am I going to do?”

We continued to meet for our weekly rant sessions. I don’t know how Katherine did it; living each say in such misery.  Katherine kept an exhausting schedule, when she needed rest, she stayed at my place; by the end of the first year, she published one novel, half way through the second manuscript, and had completed her M.F.A.

The start of the second year Katherine said it was time to begin to focus the plan. She began to close all of her accounts transferring the money to a bank overseas. She cancelled her credits cards and for the rest of her life she will have to use cash she did not want to create a paper trail. Katherine through of everything she knows a someone who knows a guy who can create fake documents for her to assume a new identity. I begin to panic this was becoming real. I’ve heard of people doing stuff like this, I’ve seen movies of people planning how they would vanish, but this is close to home……stay tune for more of  Don’t Say Forever……

 

In the meantime, Read A Different Flavor of Love, by J. R, Floyd, Available On Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Different-Flavor-Love-J-Floyd

Also, tune into my new YouTube Channel, Conversations from my Couch, and Hosted by me. Here is a sneak peek……. https://youtu.be/qYj5sSJepqE

 

How is your Mental Health?

Dear reader,

I am sharing this video because of the misconception about what people feel mental illness is or isn’t. I am sharing my personal story. Yes, today I put a face on Mental Illness.

Ten Ridiculous Relationship Myths

Dear Readers,

If you are now joining my blog  a few days ago a light bulb went off in my head. I’ve decided to create a You Tube channel, my own little talk show called Conversations from my Couch. This is an open forum to talk about every day issues, like relationships, women empowerment, health and fitness, political topics, and education. I am going to have fun, but be serious when I need to be. I just want to talk to the PEOPLE. so let me hear from you.

This segment comes to you courtesy of my very, very good friend Sara. She agreed to do an impromptu talk about some relationships myths. Sit Back and have Fun.

Conversations from my couch

Dear Readers,

Another segment from my You tube channel.

See me on You Tube

Dear readers, I’m excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really excited. Over the Moon. You know the feeling when all the light bulbs goes off in your head at the same time. I am a talk show “Conversation from my Couch.” Yes, created by me J. R. Floyd author of ” The Waiting Game & A different Flavor of love” Available on Amazon.

In the meantime time enjoy my first Conversation from My Couch.

Half Time

Dear Readers,

Football season will soon be upon us. Oh yes, the joys of trash talking, wearing my favorite  team jersey, eating buffalo wings, and drinking lots and lots of cold beer. This sounded great until I was reminded about the kneeling controversy during the singing of the National Anthem. Don’t get me wrong I’m not down playing an individual right to express their opinion about how he/she interrupts the National Anthem or the raising of the American flag.  To quote Collin Kaepernick, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag, for a country that oppresses black people, and other people of colour.” He took this stance because of the police brutality and the unfair treatment of people of colour.

In all honesty did he think that the football field is the place to bring attention to these issue that affect the black population? This subject had clearly become an uncomfortable situation for many true football fans to talk about.

I recently moved in with my fiancé and he is opposed of me wanting to watch football. He said, “I’m being insensitive to the movement.” Movement? When did this kneeling during the singing of the National Anthem become a movement? The last time I checked a movement is a group of people who shares the same ideas and work together to advance their shared political or social ideas to begin about change.

Yes, there is a social issue, which is the unfair treatment of black people and other people of colour. What change do these football players expect to take place? If these highly paid professional athletes believe that they have the right to bring attention to the plight of the black societies then I suggest that they use another platform to do this.

Please pay attention to what I am saying and not what you think I’m saying. I support the rights to protest against injustice, but when Kaeperick voluntarily walked from his multi-million dollar contract, what did this accomplish? Did his action solved the inequality between the races? Do the few hundred black people boycotting the NFL by not watching, do they honestly think that this will make a difference to this billion dollar sport franchise?

These players are making millions in a country that has made strides in many areas for the improvement of the lives of people of colour. And yes, there is room for more improvement. These players might not believe in “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” we do live in one of the greatest countries in the world. And regardless of race there are people on the front line everyday sacrificing their lives to keep us safe and free.

So to that I say THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVE.  God Bless America. And ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

What Say You?

the failure of our nation

Dear Readers,

Oops. Its happened again, and this time the results are catastrophic. What do I mean?  let me just say that people’s private opinions are reshaping our interaction in society. Yes, we have a right to our views, but what happens when a person’s private thoughts go public and their sentiments is meant to gravely offended another person due to race.

Roseanne Barr’s racist comments about Obama’s former adviser Valerie Janet likening her to a cross between the Muslim brotherhood and a “planet of the apes’ characters.”

In her defense Barr claimed that her statement wasn’t intentional it was a side effect from taking the sleep aid Ambien. She continued to say that, “I have made a mistake …I wish I hadn’t ….”  Supporters of Barr claims that she had a right to “Freedom of Speech” I’m not questioning whether she had the right to speak freely, the question is when the insult is directed towards a person of color, why is public opinion quick to plead the First Amendment?

We are supposed to be a progressive society advocating for the equity of all people. People of color have tirelessly marched, protested and given up their lives all in the name of change. We have struggled through the degrading institution of slavery, segregation and Jim Crow, lynching’s, burnings, rape, brutal beatings and being murdered in cold blood. We have never claimed to be victims of these circumstances. We have spoken out against these injustices due to the color barrier. Why in this day should people of color continue to be treated as the lesser or the other.

Why should people of color endure behavior that was theoretical ended decades ago. People are either turning a blinds eye or just plain ignorant if they truly can look at themselves in the mirror and say that racism is a practice of the past.

What do people hope to accomplish by lashing out with racist remarks. We are a society that has moved from hope and compassion to anger and hate. The bitterness between the races remains as a dividing line. We have become a society that seems to embrace moving backwards indulging in racism and sexism. I understood that when I decided to blog about this issue that this post might be met with silence, and I am willing to life with that. But what I am not willing to do is to keep silent about issues that can have a negative impact on the minds of younger generations. We must not allow them to think that this type behavior is the norm.

What Say You?