750 words for 10 days

Dear Readers,

A few days ago I decide to join a 10 day writing challenge. Each day the group is given a writing prompt and the goal is to write 750 words or to write for 30 minutes. As of today, March 24, 2019, We are on day 6. Thus far this challenges has been an amazing experience. During this writing process I am purging myself of emotions and experiences that need to be left on the page so that I can move forward, and live life feeling lighter, free and clear from past events. I am sharing Day 4 with you. I hope that this will inspire you to look within for healing.

Day 4 prompt: Conversation with Me

The conversation I have with myself is often unkind. I’ve been hard on me because I feel that I am a failure, I have failed life, and failed to get to the place that I thought I should be. I never have a conversation with the young me because I would not know what to say to her. The young me is a distant memory. I don’t know what she wanted, dreamed and craved to be. I know that she felt that no one wanted her, she was told she was ugly, with a big forehead. The young me was bullied, touched, beaten and was confused. My conversation with me has been one of anger because I didn’t accomplish what I said I would do for self. I try to say nice things to me, but I don’t know when I lost my confidence. I say , “ self why did you lose your discipline, why did you give up, why did you allow people to beat you down.” I have always talked myself out of having the best life has to offer then I would become angry at others for enjoying what I should have been doing. I keep saying self one day we are going to…. But I never get to that day. I don’t push myself like I use to. I use to look in the mirror and say your beautiful, your body is beautiful, your smart, creative and your going to make it. So, now I’m learning to reprogram the conversation that I have with me, and not to take in the chatter from the outside. When I was younger I wished someone would have told the young me that it’s the conversation that we have with ourselves that can cause the most damage. Healing is a process and I am enjoying rewriting the script. So, What your conversation with self?