Childhood Scars: the breaking down of a child

Dear Readers and Viewers, I have discovered that the negative words and action that were done to some of us as children have had an impact on how we view who we are. What is important to understand is that childhood scares get buried under all the other negative experiences until some triggers  a memory and takes you back to that time in our life when we didn’t feel safe or love. My goal in sharing my story is that people will stop judging and insisting that we ” get over it and let go” instead start a dialogue that will  lead to a new path of healing. Thank you for watching. Please support me by subscribing to my You Tube channel: Conversation with J. R. Floyd

Getting to know me

Dear Readers,

Hello, hello, hello I’ve hope that you are enjoying Spring break, Easter and Passover celebration.  We are now in the season of spring a time of renewal Mother Nature is spreading her beauty around us. This is a perfect time to properly introduce myself to my audience and tell you about why I created Conversations with J. R.  Conversations with J. R Floyd, was created out of my frustrations and relationship struggles. I started to observe people in relationship and noticed that they experiencing relationship problems, but they aren’t communicating with their partners, they are  talking to other people about their pain and frustration. I don’t think that people enters relationships thinking the worst we all hope to have a long, loving and happy union, but along the way things happen in our lives that affect our relationships, and we sometime wait too long to address the problems in our relationships. On my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd   I’ve talked about:

  1. Relationship expectations and how sometimes we hold our partners up to ridiculous expectation. Unbalanced relationship and how relationship becomes unbalanced, and how people Define their relationships.
  2. Compatibility and being an individual within the relationship. I’ve read from both of my books. The Waiting Game and A different Flavor of Love. ( available on amazon)
  3. I’ve talked about clearing the clutter out of our lives, not the clutter in your apartment, cars or garage. The Mental and emotional Clutter that hold us back from having better clarity about life.
  4. I’ve talked about living your best life, which I’m doing right. I shared my battle with mental Illness and Dysfunctional relationships, and why some people stay in relationship past their due date. No I don’t think that relationships should have a due date, but sometimes they do.
  5. You can check out these topics and more by subscribing to my YouTube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd. My channel presents a various array of topics. I talked about men and women empowerment, and the lost foundation of family. We move from generations to generation and the value of family has  lost its importance. 
  6. On my journey of reflection, discovery and renewal I wrote another book about my experiences and my journey to find answers. I am not a psychologist, or a relationship expert, and I don’t give out advice. My goal is to engage people in conversations about relationship topics. I am combining my passion for teaching,  reading, writing and exploring to create a platform for people to have meaningful Conversations. I create a blog ( dragthepen on wordpress.com) and my YouTube channel ( Conversations with J. R. Floyd) as way to speak to the world about what other people are not talking to each other about. 
  7. On this journey I discovered that I needed to give  myself over 100% to letting go and purging myself from all past events and traumas.  I’m willingly going through this process because have you noticed that holding onto old stuff is a lot more painful than letting them go. I am letting go to live my best life for me. Not preparing myself for a relationship people usually work on themselves to be better for someone else. I am working on myself to be better for me. I not longer choose to give my time and energy to areas of life that are not supporting my professional, spiritual, and personal growth. I am working on strengthening my self-worth. I have taken back ownership of my life I gave my life away because I didn’t know what I was doing.This winging it seems to be the theme that many people are doing. Many people are afraid to admit that they did not receive a good foundation about intimate relationships. I say, it is never to  late to learn. I am truly enjoying this part of my journey. There you have it. I have properly introduced myself to you and my mission. So come along with me on this journey of conversation, reflection, discovery and renewal you might be surprised about what you learn.  

Guard your Emotions

 

Dear Readers, its seems that people are concerned with matters of the heart. So they use the saying ” guard your heart” I say guard your emotions. Thank you for watching and don’t forget to subscribe to my You Tube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd. Thank your support.

 

 

Hold on or Let go?

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Dear Readers, 

What are you holding onto that you need to let go of? We have all heard this phrase “let go and let go” but what is this letting go and letting god? Some people say in order to live a happy and life we need to forgive and let go of past events that keeps us stuck in emotional turmoil. Letting go is a process that takes time and for some people letting can be more painful than holding on.

What say you? Thank you for watching, please subscribe to my YouTube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd

Thank you.

 

1+1=1

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Photo by shahbaz Akram on Pexels.com

Dear Readers,

It’s been almost a year since I created my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd. The bases for creating this channel is to converse about relationship issues, explore men and women empowerment, and teach the foundation of family. When people consent to engage in a partnership it should be based upon capability and the understanding that there should be a certain level of individualism. Meaning maintaining individual identities while developing the partnership. A partnership contains two people with individuals ideas and experiences a partner is a helpmate and should be treated as an equal in all areas of the partnership.

Some people are under the delusion that 1 +1= 1 what kind of math is this? This concept of two people becoming one has been taken out of context people who think this way is because they are insecure and want to place themselves in the position of the controller. In the a partnership there is two individuals with different likes, different political beliefs, eating and sleeping habits this is what is meant by being an individual. I wonder if people pay attention to each other’s habits and behaviors. Instead, they become caught up in the infatuation of sexual lust and other emotions.They become blind to their differences by spending too much time on what makes them compatible ignoring the little pet peeves and faults.

In the beginning of a partnership people pretend to be interested in what their partner is doing, but sooner than later the truth is revealed. Over a period of time one person begins to feel that they are being nagged into joining their significant other in activities what they once said they enjoyed. The myth behind their action is that they went along to impress their partner, and this is where the trouble begins. Another myth, people are taught that whatever their partner is interested they should take part, I say, this is not always true. No one should be dragged and nagged into taking part in activities that they have no interest.

We observe this behavior all around us pay attention the next time you’re at an event or you hear your friend ranting about how they are trying to come up with a plan or an excuse to get out of an activity with their partner but they don’t. People use the excuse that this is what people do when they care about each other, I say, no one should be pushed, bamboozled with guilt into doing things they brings them no joy.

Capability is important and allowing people to be who they are is also equally important to the stability of the partnership. Truly accepting people for who they are without finding way to change them should not be a relationship requirement. I previously said that at the start of the courtship people are not observant of their potential partners habits and interests. People don’t pay attention to what is said and what is not said. I understand it is easy to get caught up in emotions because everything is fresh and new. But this is how many partnership break down and eventually there is a separation. You and your mate are individuals stop trying to rebuild them by taking away their interest or insisting that they change the course of their life and who they are. It is important for the foundation and the longevity of the partnership to respect, support and encourage individual interest while developing common interest as partners. Balance,space, acceptances and capability is important ingredients for a happy partnership.

What say you? Please join me on my YouTube Channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd

The Voices

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Photo by David Cassolato on Pexels.com

Dear Readers, what is your internal guidance system saying to you?

I found this question difficult to answer because I was not properly introduced to my internal guidance system. Oh, I know about the feelings of being in a situation of discomfort. I know about the mistakes of not listening to that voice in my head that says, “Don’t do it this is a bad idea.” Or ignoring that feeling when you know it’s going to be a bad day, but you go into the office and it turns out to be the worst day of the week. So, if the question is referring to the inner voice or that gut feeling that we often ignore than yes, I do know something about my internal guidance system.

How much time do you spend bonding with your internal guidance system? Do you often find yourself acting on feelings instead of waiting, thinking, praying, and then listening? If you like me I talk myself out of things that I should have listened when my internal guidance system was saying “danger, danger.”  Some of the reasons why we ignore the warning voice and tugs of our internal guidance system. Because of the noise and chaos around us it drowns out our inner voice. We don’t spend enough time developing the six sense we need when the voices of our internal guidance system are in full alert. I know that this may sound corny,  but if we learn to become one with our internal guidance system this voice won’t seem foreign.  The distractions of life and chatter from other people’s opinions may be the reason why we doubt what our internal guidance system  because we don’t believe that its leading us in the right direction. Sooner than later we often discover that we are wrong not to follow our internal guidance when we are told  to run away from wrong decisions and rushed judgments.

We can call this voice whatever fits God, the universe, instincts, but if you stay too busy and become wrapped up in the distraction of life, we can become disconnected from our internal guidance system. We need the reassurance of that voice because we don’t always have the answers. Be mindful to stop get quiet and talk to your internal guidance system. You may be surprised about what you hear.

What are you inner voices are saying to you? Join me on my You Tube Channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd for more………

 

Whats Your Game Name?

Dear Readers, What’s your game name now?

Strange question. This is one of the prompts from the ten-day writing challenge. So here is my answer. My brand name is J. R. Floyd and my game is branding myself as a singer, writer, motivational speaker, blogger and Vlogger. This brand name did not come easy, it was given to me for my stage and writing name. I am forever thankful for the person who suggested this name while taping an interview for my first novel, The Waiting Game.  Currently, I am the host of my You Tube Channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd. I never thought in this life time that I would be where I am now. The plan that I had for myself was to earn my education become a public-school teacher, but this process was delayed I spent three years in a depression and I assumed all hope was lost. I felt doomed to a life that lacked creativity. I watched one by one as people around me were leaving the job for their dream job, their dream life and I remained stuck.

People kept telling me that God had other plans for me. I am struggling to believe this. I am making a major effort to come to terms with my position in life. I have made major progress from what my old game name used to be, a no skills, high school drop out to college educated, writing books, classical singer, and newly motivational speaker. I am still in aww at the new me. Years ago, I lost my confidence. But that doesn’t matter because that use to be my old story with my old game name. I am happy to be J. R. Floyd the creator of stories, the singer, the educator and host of my own You Tube channel, the author of books. Yeah, I like, no I love this new game name.

What say you? What is your game name? Join me on my You Tube Channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd.photos taken by aahman_-2 - copy

 

 

Who are you dating?

Dear Readers,

Dating has become a dangerous game. Back in the day dating had a purpose simply put to find a life partner. Today, people date with hidden agendas. It’s disturbing to know that there is individual who purposely scheme and prey on people to engage in a fake relationship.

Some people date or participate in a relationship based on another person’s salary, the car they drive, and how much material items this person is willing to give them. This type of person is a freeloader, or an opportunist because they see their victims as an opportunity and a convenience. And when the next person comes along who can offer them more they conveniently leave the person they are dating (or engaged in a false relationship) without regards to the emotional damage they leave behind.

There is the serial dater. Meaning, the person who dates or engage in a relationship with two or multiple people at the same. These in between daters don’t have a sense of feeling that they are doing any harm. They justified this disrespectful behavior by claiming to be in love with the people they are dating; and they swear on a stack of bibles that they find it difficult to make the choice to be with one person. LIES!

Then there is the Representative, if you’re dating this type of person these are people who show up and portray themselves as the ideal mate or the person who is just right for you. They present themselves as the quintessential person to have a romantic relationship with. They exhibit qualities that can woo and fool the best of us. The problem with these Representatives is that their intentions are wrong. They are not who they say they are. Their primary goal is to scheme, deceive, breakdown, and destroy their victims; while engaging in a false relationship. When these Representatives have accomplished his or her mission, they move on quickly, leaving in their path emotional and financial bankrupt people; who have no idea until it’s too late that they have been bamboozled by a Representative.

Have you found yourself dating a Visitor, meaning a person who shows up like a guest. The Visitor will claim to be committed to the relationship, but not as a full-time partner. The Visitor will make an appearance only when the time is convenient for them. Dating a Visitor is like being at a pit stop; they will come through to have their needs attend to, and before you can blink they are gone. The Visitor can appear and disappear in and out of a relationship like a magician. Being in a relationship or dating situation with a Visitor is emotionally and mentally draining so, the next time you observe yourself dating a Visitor, put out a No Vacancy sign.

At the first encounter there is no meter to measure whether the person we seek to be in a relationship is who they say they are, and have good intention. I recommend that when dating take your time, don’t rush and when something doesn’t feel right go with that feeling. Don’t wait around for another person to complete who you are. You are enough as you are. Love yourself like you want the others person to love you. When you don’t resolve baggage from past relationships and behave in a desperate manner that’s when you fall victim to these people who are Freeloaders, Representatives, and Visitors. Pay attention to what they say or don’t say. There are warning signs, but people become so involved in the emotional rollercoaster while dating that they loses sight of the warning signs. For the people who have lost faith in finding love, be the love that you want to receive.

What say You? Check out my You Tube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd for more realtionship topics. 2DgfpAQ6