Situation-ships

Stolen Innocence

Dear Readers,

We are becoming a society that is creating the next generation of dysfunctional women. Take a look around, we are pushing little girls into women-hood before they are ready. We are all to blame, however, this misguided introduction on how to become a proper lady begins at home. Today’s parents are lost between satisfying their children’s needs and being a cool parent. Regardless of the tasks parents are up against there is no true reasoning for them to financially support and give their seal of approval for their daughters to dress in a manner that is not age appropriate. The consequence for young girls between the ages of 10-16 dressing inappropriate is that they are subjected to being negatively labeled, and there are men in this society who have no regrades to approaching under age girls. The foundation of family is the root where children learn how to mature into adulthood. It is the duty of  mothers, grandmother and aunts to be positive role models and guide young girls how to conduct themselves in the appropriate manner by teaching them what is acceptable. Most people place blame solely on reality television, rap video’s, and social media because these outlets expose  young girls to a fastidious glamorous life style that requires them to be ” sexy”.  Reminder,  Kim Kardashian become ” famous” not for pro….. any true talent, but she made millions from a sex tape.

There is no rational for young girls between the ages of 8 to 16 to go through the horror of sitting and being fitted for a full weave, full set of nail tips that are shaped like lethal weapons, in addition to waking in 8 inch heels and tight clothing. I have seen 12- 14 year old girls wearing pom pom shorts that expose their butt cheeks, and halter tops exposing the outline of young developing breast, and women around them encouraging them by complementing how cute they look. I recently attended a junior high school graduation for a friends daughter. What I observed during the ceremony was shocking, appalling, and shameful. Young girls wearing micro mini dresses revealing their inner thighs, and the print of their panties lines. Some wore shoes with heels so over the top high that they had to hold onto a friend or family member to walk. Their was cleavage and exposed butt cheeks, hanging out of shorts, and young innocent faces plastered with make up.

The message we are sending to young girls is that enhancing and altering their appearance is the only way society will except them and exposing their private body parts is the standard by which the male gaze says that they are beautiful. We are taking away their innocence and most important we are not allowing them to go through the natural stages from childhood to adolescence to becoming a young women. As adults we are supposed to protect our young girls. The reality is that there is more evil than good in this world.The wolves are out there ready to devalue the minds of young girls. Let’s go back to the old saying, “it takes a village to raise a child”. In this village our young girls will know that they are loved, protected and that they are valved for their inner beauty, intelligence, gifts and talents, not for their bodies.

What say you?

ReplyForward

Desperation & Dysfunctional Relationships

Dear Readers,

Do not allow loneliness and despair to lead to desperation resulting in being trapped in a dysfunctional relationship that does not honor who you are. We all have heard the saying that loneliness kills, and so does being in a relationship that does not honor who God created you to be.

Ladies, when you allow the negative voices in your head to engage you in conversation about lonely is caused by you do not have a man in your life. And the relationship is going to cure your loneliness, and bring you all that you need. Here are some thoughts to think about before you agree with those voices.

• Beware of the large population of men who have no good intention towards you when they sense that you are desperate, they use your eagerness to please to control the situation. Why are you willing to give your power, and willing to submit to ill treatment all because you are thankful to have a man in your life
• What value is this man bringing into your life? What purpose is he serving in your life? Some of these deceivers have swift tongues and deviant minds. Their plan is to milk you for all that you have and in the meantime, you become so blinded by your desire to HAVE A Man, that you don’t see the emotional devastation you will have to recover from when he leaves and he will leave

 

Do not listen to the myths that people are throwing at you?

• Except any men who are interested in a relationship with you because age might be a factor, or you might be single mother, this is not a reason to settle, in fact, there is no REASON TO SETTLE.
• When you settle your saying that I do not deserve a partner who will respect, value, honor, show compassion, support, see your worth, and express concern in all matters of your life. You want to feel protected and up lifted by your partner.
• Do not become some man’s side piece because you think that you are getting what you need without a true comment ( this is a degrading situationship)
• Question, Are you currently in a relationships that’s has ran it course and is no longer giving you the happiness that it used to, so you stay because you are afraid of being alone.

 

I know that there are women who are so afraid of being alone that they financially support men. Women except being verbal and emotionally abused by men who they know are not good for them, but their logic is that ANY MAN IS BETTER THAN NO MAN. I know of mothers who encourage their daughters to do all they can to keep a man even if that man is treating them disrespectful, the theory is that YOU BETTER HOLD ONTO YOUR MAN BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE GET HIM. There women who are searching for men through dating services only to be fool and conned by their lies and sob stories. Wake up! These men are hiding behind computers waiting for a victim not a soul mate.

When you allow the temporary feeling of loneliness to dictate giving up your power to men whose main goal is to drain your spirit, darken your soul, pillage your finances, and bring more confusion in your love than love and happiness

Ask yourself is it truly worth the damage and drama?

Here are some suggestions for your loneliness:

Find male friends that you can go out on a platonic date, intimacy comes in all forms

Go to event where there is single people looking to have a good time and enjoy the company of others without expectations.

Adopt a pet they need love pets make wonderful companions, and they are very loyal

Organize a girls night sleepover, but don’t waste the evening being depressed an talking about men

Take a class for fun, cooking, knitting, yoga, or join a gym or a community chorus

There are so many ways that you can combat loneliness and you can do so in a positive way. Heading into a relationship for the sole purpose of relieving yourself of loneliness without spending time truly getting to know the other person will only serve the purpose of opening the door for some serious drama.

What say you?

 

 

Couples drifting apart.

 

A matter of opinion.

Dear Readers,

It puzzles me how women of today have lowered their standards when it comes to dressing. They outfit themselves in clothing that makes them appear to be slack and careless to the point of being naked. The latest trend is wearing shorts with their butt cheeks exposed, and thongs and breast visible beneath flimsy dresses, and wearing midriff tops showing multiple layers of their stomachs hanging out and tightly smashed looking like a stuff sausage. Not to mention the awful habit of wearing tights revealing the imprint of their lower bodies from front to back. There is so much more that I can say, but I dare not go on. Slackness in attire does not mean class or style. Class and style begins with a state of mind and mannerisms that complements clothing that are age and size appropriate. I know what you are thinking, it’s their bodies let them do what they want. I agree, but here me out, the women who declare that as a part of self-expression they should be able to wear what pleases them and not others; are the same women who exclaim that they have difficulties meeting men of high quality. These women are searching for men who are Business owners, CEO’s. Doctors, Lawyers, Professional Athletes, some even hope to meet a Trust Fund baby. I have observed that men who are on the receiving end of a six-figure income and higher, often engage in flings, or side romances with women who devalue them by dressing slack, in other words, these women are known as the “Side Piece”. On the other hand, in the words of the late singer Rick James, these women are “super freaks the kind you don’t take home to mother.”  A man of high intellect, income, class status and reputation would be lower his standards and position in society when stepping out with women who is deemed beneath him. Case in point, it was reported in The Sun that Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, advised Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex not to wed Meghan Markle’ “as one steps out with an actresses, you don’t marry them.” When Michelle Obama, Former first lady of the United States meet Barack Obama, he was a young college student, and he dressed in a shirt and pants every day. When Jackie Kennedy meet John Kennedy, she had set a standard for her class and style way before she became the first lady. I will say in their defense that we cannot fully blame today’s’ so called modern women for the common means in which they dress. Look around there is very few women who model the proper decorum. Most women today mimic reality celebrities and big name Hollywood stars in fashion of the more skin, buttocks, breast that is exposed the better. Furthermore, this generation of women who have found themselves at an advanced age do not care to dress like grandma use to because it seems to be old and out of style, they are wrong modesty is never out of style. Please forgive me for this rant, do not take this as body shaming, or bashing as I am saying aloud what most people are thinking.

What say you?

 

 

Broken people can heal

Dear Readers, We use the word baggage when we speak about people who have been emotionally broken. Emotionally broken people have experienced certain traumatic events that effects their ability to establish a relationship. Watch my discuss on this topic and Join me for more relationship topics on my You Tube channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd. Thank  you for watching.

Just for today.

Dear Readers,

Today is that day. You know the day you just can’t seem to hold life together. People say push through, but why? Today,  I can’t just push through. Sometimes pushing through causes more harm than good. Today, is the day that I need to step back and work through this mist of fog.

I have been digging in and plowing through for months. Day by day, pushing down the emotional waves that threaten to overwhelm me, holding back tears, smiling, laughing, when I really want to scream out and crawl in a corner and be left alone. Having private conversations with that voice in my head, whispering ” I am okay”.  Today, I am not ok. I think about the thousands of people who go through life faking the funk lying  to themselves about being “ok”,  afraid of having a break down because people will judged them for  being weak. Shame on us for creating a society where its not good to admit that ” I am not okay”.

Today,  is my day to feel the emotional waves and let them do what they do. Today, is the day for the tears to flow. Today,  is the day for me to admit to the voice in my head that I am exhausted, depressed, and that I feel the pain of loneliness and isolation from friends and family. Today, I will lay in bed with the breakfast, while organzing  my personal projects.  I will quite my mind by reading and siping a glass of merlot. Awww the pleasures of life are short lived. I am counting the days until the month of June ends, and looking  forward to my vacation to California. In the meantime, at the close of this day I will take a warm bubble bath, indulging in a mani- pedi, burn my favorite candle ( vanilla) and prepare my mind and body to face the next day.

Thank you for reading💖

Join my new podcast on Sound Cloud: Conversations with J. R. Floyd

Relationship Theory 101

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Dear Readers,

Most relationships happen by accident and some do not happen at all. Let me explain, I was having a conversation with a friend who happens to be a psychologist. We were talking about the relationships topics that I discuss on my You Tube Channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd. His view on relationships is that most partnerships are not successful because people lack the knowledge of how to create and sustain the foundation for a long lasting relationship. Most people do not understand that there are stages of a relationship and how to work through these stages. Therefore, for some people this is what usually happens, people meet and they dive right into feelings, chaos creeps in then BOOM! The relationship is over leaving people to wonder what happened or did not happen. Most of the time relationships end with one or both partners feeling bitter. I am sharing this theory in hopes that people will stand back and observe the stage their relationship is in and if it is not the desired stage, then take steps bring balance into the relationship.

 

Stage 1: Romance: this is the dating or courtship process of getting to know each other without physical intimacy.

• Most couples move to quick towards the physical aspect in the beginning staged of a relationship. People rarely take time to know whom they are sharing their bodies with. At this stage of courtship women often, feel pressured into a physical relationship before they are ready. Most women comply because they want to keep the man interested in them.

Stage 2: Power Struggle: this stage is when people recognize that they are different, and they begin to work on the dynamics of the relationship. This is the most difficult stage because the couple is trying to find balance and there is sometimes the issue of control. Meaning person wants to take the lead role while dominating the other.

• In stage 2, the couple engage in heated arguments due to one partner wanting control: ( an equal partnership isn’t about control its about balance and compromise)

 

Stage 3: Stability, hopeful the couple is committed to building a strong partnership and they move into STAGE 3, only after they have resolved the power struggle in stage 2. Stability of a relationship happens when the couple can function as individuals for their own personal growth, but acknowledge and recognize that they are in a partnership and do things for the betterment of the relationship.

Stage 4: Commitment: At this stage, there is deeper and clearer communication about the state of the relationship and the future a couple might engage in conversations that lead to the transition to co-habitat or marriage, children, buying a house etc.

Stage 5: Co – creation this stage is where the power struggle is truly over and the building of the partnership continues after a certain number of years invested in the partnership. Each person feel secure and they moves towards investing in retirement for the freedom and security of their future.

To me, this theory makes sense and has stirred me to think about why the majority of my relationships were not successful. If an individual is not first, ground in who they are and what they want out of life; then their partnership will reflect the same disorganized as their thinking.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this information. For more relationship topics, subscribe to my You Tube Channel, Conversation with J. R. Floyd or listen to my podcast on Sound Cloud.

Let’s talk about the RING

Dear Readers, There are millions of Women in society who are waiting for the RING. Because they have been  brain washed into thinking that if a man doesn’t give them  a ring he’s not in love. What does getting this RING mean?  Take a moment to listen to my personal story about getting the Ring. I like to hear from you. Thank you for watching.