The workplace blues.

 

Dear Readers,

Once upon a time people treated their work space and place of employment like it was their home. But time have changed and so have people’s attitude about their place of employment. Back in the day a persons place of employment was considered to be a part of a second family. People where more relaxed and thier surrounding reflect an atmosphere of being at home. People personalize their work space with family pictures that told the story of their life, and other employee where Interested in each others lives,  and took time to show that they cared. Most people remained at their places of employment until retirement. They didn’t feel the need to seek out growth outside of the company because growth within a company was encouraged. Back in the day people enjoyed their lunch and coffee breaks it was a period of the day to leave the work environment and take a moment to distress. In the good old days of 9 to 5 people weren’t pushed to muilti task and to perform like machines. Once the clock chimed 5 the work day was over and people looked forward to going home to have dinner with their families. Carpooling was common among employees and it wasn’t viewed as an unpleasant chore. Carpooling was another way that people spend time taking, connecting and sharing.

Fast forward….

Nowadays, people are spending an excessive amount of time at their place of employment and less quality time at home. The work place has dramatically changed  the mannerisms and atmosphere is the employees versus the employer. Upper management controls all the swanky offices that reflect the position of power and money, while the people who do the difficult tasks are down in the trenches reduced to working in shabby make shift cubicle that doesn’t allow them the space to make themselves comfortable. People are separated by teams and are pitted against each other, and upper management controls who they deem the weaker employees by the use of fear. There is a level of distrust because of the office or company ” snitch.” Budget cuts and companies downsizing employers are asking employees to do more with less. People are afraid to speak out in fear of retaliation from upper management. Very few people view going to their place of employment with joy and enthusiasm. And the newcomers are forced to join established cliques in order to show their loyalty.

The bottom line is this we are all connected and each member of the team should be viewed as an equal despite the pay gap. Think about this we buy clothing every day. Have you ever given thought to the people who make the fabric, the person who sews the garment, and the people who package them for shipping. They men and women who load and unload the trucks, the sales associates who unpack, label and arrange the clothing in the store. Oh and let’s not forget the stockroom crew who work behind the scenes. We are all connected. I say lets go back to making our place of employment an atmosphere of enjoyment.

what say you?

Dragthepen

Tech Babies

Photo by Plush Design Studio on Pexels.com

Dear Readers,

Hear ye, hear ye,  parents electronic devices are not babysitters nor do these mechanical devices take the place of parental interaction. Stop training babies to think that their need for nurturing can be meet by staring at the screen of a iPhone or ipad. When these little tods cry, squirm, and lift their arms up to you they need your touch, warmth, closeness and most importantly your time and undivided attention. Sing to them, read to them, put down your technology, and get down on the floor at their level play games with them and allow yourself to enter into their beautiful world of imagination. Children are creative and they want to talk and share there ideas. When parents substitute television programs like the Disney channel, video games, and you tube as a means to entertain children, the message parents are sending is that their precious bundle of joy who is now walking, talking and demanding more time have now become a bothersome inconvenience.

Christmas 2018, I had the pleasure to spend time with my three amazing grandchildren who my son has lovely nicknamed peat, repeat and three-peat, because their last little sweet heart was certainly a surprise. I traveled over 600 miles by bus to North Carolina, to be in the presents of these amazing gifts from God. The joy of seeing their faces lite up as they greeted me took away the soreness from my body. A.J. & Sklyar the young ( 5 & 6)argued about who was going to take my suitecase to my room. The oldest Mariah (11) asked 100 questions about how long was I staying . Over the next few days, we played with cars, dolls, playdoh, and created our own pretend cooking contest using playdoh. On Christmas day my eldest granddaughter suggested that everyone wear Santa hats, and write a reindeer’s name across the front. We reminded in our PJ’s the entire day and took naps as needed.

I enjoyed the cuddle time in bed with all three; and especially the one evening that I spent with my eldest granddaughter watching princess movies, making snacks and talking. During my fives days stay the only interaction with technology was to ooh and aah over their fathers new cell phone. I think there were other electronic gadgets, but they weren’t the center of attention. For an extra added bonus I had bonding time cooking Christmas dinner with my son. My mind often wonders back to my childhood memories of family time, and how some of the life lesson I learned is due to the time, patience and attention I received from the adults in my life.  I spent time in the kitchen with my dad, who taught me how to chop fresh seasonings, he brought me a chefs hat and called me his prep chef.  My mother allowed me to help with the baking and at the age of 17,  I baked my first wedding cake. My grandmother taught me how to carefully and thoroughly clean a house.  And I watched my first western about with a few of my uncles. There are other fond memories about how the adults in my life helped to shape the person that I am today.

Advanced technology is great because new discoveries helps society move forward. however, ask yourself this, how have we as parents allowed technology to interfere in  the relationship with our children? When was the last time the entire family sat down for dinner and talked? Or planned an old fashioned game night. Do you know what books your children are reading? Are there Televisions in every room of the house? In my opinion its not  society that at fault for the way some of our children are turning out, it is what we are over exposing them to. Remember this announcement ” it 10:00 PM do you know where your children are?” I say,  ” its 10PM do know which device your children are on?”

Thank you for reading

What Say You?

J. R.

Transition between Relationships

Dear Readers,

What do you  do between relationships, in other words, how much time do you spend alone after ending one relationship before starting another one. Are you one of those people who jump from one relationship to another?  Some people daily routine is to find ” the one” without taking a pause or a moment of reflection in between relationships. It’s saddened me that we live in a society that encourage people to rush to get over one relationship to start a new one. Some people are under the influence of the old myth ” the best way to get over one relationship is to find someone new” BAD, BAD, advice. When you don’t take advantage of a period of reflection between relationships you don’t learn, you don’t grow, you certainly don’t allow yourself time to heal and mature emotionally. This period of reflection should be about you and so much about why the relationship didn’t work. Thank you for watching my video and let me hear from you.

 

To be a Man

Dear Readers,

Men have parts of them that are broken and need to be healed, but the standards set forth by society is this, men are indebted to the principles of the Maculine gender that requires them to “Confirm to the idea of Manliness” as quoted by Paul Theroux, On Being a Man. Therefore, to behave in any other manner besides what’s expected some men run the risk of being labeled or accused of stepping outside their assigned gender role.

As part of my role as a motivational coach for my brand Conversations with J. R. Floyd, my mission is to discuss issues that impact intimate relationships, to empower men and women to be brave and examine their brokenness as the first step on the path to healing.

Recently, I was called upon by one of my male viewers who also happens to be a former students of mine. He need a face to face coaching session his issue, he ended a relationship that he now says was a mistake.
When we meet my first question to him: “ Why did he broke off the relationship?”
His answer: “ Because I am a man and I like to be in control.”
Me: silence.

While he continued to tell me what lead up to his decision, I thought back to our first meeting two years ago, this young man was hard core angry. As time went by he opened up and I discovered that his anger was a result of the lack of his mothers’ love. Despite this he matured right before my eyes and made it to graduation. I thought that he had conquered his anger issues. I don’t place 100 percent of the blame on him this is a 50/50 situation; he comes from a culture where men are expected to live up to “ MACHISMO”, secondly, he has been misled by all the myths on what it really makes a man, a man.

The bottom line he showed me an emotional side that other men would say makes him weak because he is showing emotions. Instead of sitting around his “ home boys” drinking and celebrating the fact that he showed her, his ex -girlfriend who is boss by breaking up with her, instead he called me for help. Other men would accused him of  being a punk for wanting to crawl back to a woman. When I looked in his eyes I saw pain and confusion. It is despairing that we live in a society where men are not allowed to connect to their emotions freely without judgement. The good things about this situation is that the young lady is willing to give him another chance, but she wants to see changes in his aggressive behavior. I gave him homework, he is to write in his journal each night, and he is to reserve every other saturday to pure dating, talking and just getting to know his partner, and she has agreed to be patient and take things very, very slow.

He left our first coaching session smiling and in his eyes I saw hope. I couldn’t help but think about all the young men in this world that are being raised to be a man, but they haven’t a clue about what being a man means.

What say you?

Vacation Reflection

Dear Readers,

While on vacation in California between touring the sites of Los Angeles, Beverley Hills, and Santa Monica and chilling on Venice beach, I allowed myself time for reflection. As your reading this you might ask yourself who goes on vacation for reflection? The purpose of a vacation is to take a mental break from the troubles of reality; and to escape into a temporary world where all things are possible.

A vacation means downtime from the regular routine, grind and mental chaos. I ask you to take moment and think about what would happen if you scheduled a little time for quiet reflection.
Reflection isn’t a difficult task versus the task of thinking about all the unsolved situations you left at home. Instead, reflect on certain areas of your life or perform a quick check list of where you are spiritually, emotionally, are your relationships serving a positive purpose in your life, how is your health, finances, career, what does your golden years look like ? Are you living up to your full potential , or stuck in a rut of going through the motions just to get through each day?

How many of us go on vacation to far exotic places only to do a count down of the days until you have to return to ” that life”. You secretly wish that you can remain in the mode of vacation because decision-making is easy, you eat, play, sleep, more fun, eat, play and sleep. On vacation relax time is in abundance there is no rushing to meet deadlines, solve family problems while trying to make time to get to the ” To Do List”.

Here is the truth of the situations. If your on vacation running around trying to cram as many activities you can in a short amount of time; you wake up early, rush to get to the places you want to see. And if your traveling with children you will find yourself trying to solve their problems by keeping them busy. The conflict between you and your spouse because he or she wants to be left alone, but you insist they join in on the fun. Stop. Isn’t this the same chaos you planned a vacation to get away from? If you return home more exhausted, mentally and emotionally drained than when you left for your vacation, it is time for reflection. Vacations don’t have to be jammed packed with ” fun things” to do everyday. What happened to the down time?

Vacations can be perfect time to reflect on why there seems to be too much chaos, and not enough balance between relax time and the busy hectic days of worrying about life. Before my trip to Los Angeles, I planned my days. I traveled with a friend who felt that he too could benefit from a different scene and time for reflection. It was our first time in California, we stayed in a comfortable Airbnb. First full day, we spent the entire day at Venice Beach. The second day we woke late, walked to a coffee spot and enjoyed sitting, talking, and taking our time. We spent the remaining of the day exploring downtime Los Angeles. The third day we woke late and stayed In and did our separate work, I am a teacher, blogger, writer and public speaker. My travel partner is a social worker and he is designing a new website dedicated to social issues. He said the vacation allowed him the time he needed to relax and to focus on his new career. Day four we took a two hour bus tour, dinner and walked the three miles back to our Airbnb.

We both agreed that we where going back to New York City relaxed and in a clearer state of mine. I look forward to my next mini vacation the last week in August before the fall school semester begins. I have reserved a cottage in Virginia Beach.

When was the last time you had downtime for deep reflection?

 

 

The Condition of Love

Dear Readers,

I challenge you to think about LOVE. How do you define LOVE? How do you express LOVE? Today’s’ modern version of LOVE, it’s seems that people are placing conditions and restriction on LOVE. I appreciate, understand and respect the fact that people are choosy  about who they fall in LOVE with, but what about this  idea of conditional LOVE versus unconditional LOVE.

LOVE: should be pure flowing from an open heart with good intentions

LOVE:  should uplift to add to and not take away from

LOVE: LOVE: should allow you to shine

LOVE: should not be used as a bargaining weapon LOVE should not feel bad

How do you LOVE?

PodCast

Dear Readers,  Happy 4th of July.🇱🇷

 

Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

I have ventured out into a new area. I have a podcast, Conversations  with J. R. Floyd, on Sound Cloud. Listed below are a few topics. Happy listening.😊

• Looking for Love
• Who are you dating? Guard your heart
• Readings from my first novel, The Waiting Game
• Broken people in relationships
• Stolen Innocence
• Trends and expectation in relationships
• Guard your emotions
• I refused to allow you to steal my joy
• Childhood scares
• Be the person you want to meet
• Empower yourself
• The stages of a relationship
• My story. My journey
• How do you use your words

The you for listening.💖

J. R.  host of Conversations with J. R. Floyd on You Tube

 

The Message

Dear Readers,

Take a good look around at the level of dysfunctional  and broken young men and women of this generations and how they are becoming the next generation of  adults that will be unable to establish good relationships.  Why? Because we are not helping to build a solid foundation for them.

Brand New Day

Happy Anniversary to me

Dear Readers,
It’s the one year Anniversary of Conversations with J. R. Floyd. One year since I created this platform of having Conversations with you on my You Tube Channel and live on Facebook. It’s the people that support my efforts of making my vision a reality and for this I am deeply grateful.
I am celebrating life in a new way because life has not always been good. In 2013, I stated this journey of self-discovery, and I have learned so much about me and why I was headed down a road of darkness.
For a long time I didn’t think that my life was worth getting out of bed day after day. I didn’t feel any joy in the things that I was doing, and getting my education drained me. For years I worked two job in order to support myself. The biggest disappointment is that I did not acquire the career path I envisioned. At the time I did not understand that my life would take a different turn that would lead me to creating something more meaningful with my life.
After succumbing to a three year depression over my failed attempt of becoming a public school teacher, and struggling through a few disastrous relationships; In 2015 I hit rock bottom emotionally and financially I wanted life to end. But I keep pushing holding into the last bit of hope that someday my life would change. And change it did but change wasn’t without its own set of struggles.
It all started with a Valentine’s Day post that I do each year on Facebook. A friend of mine read the post and asked me did I have a blog, of course the answer was no. She introduced me to the world of WordPress, it took about three months before I got the hang of blogging. I went from blogging to drafting my first novel ” The Waiting Game” follow by a short short, ” A different flavor of Love”, This same friend introduced me to the world of self publishing . The journey has not been easy I have a lot to learn. The biggest lesson I have learned is that I am capable of doing more then what I expected of myself, the truth of the matter is that I was limiting myself.
Last year 2018, I created Conversations with J. R. Floyd, my You Tube channel out of frustration of a failed engagement. I had to stop myself because I wasn’t making progress and my quality of my life was ZERO. I relocated a great distance away from friends and family. I put completing my Masters in Education on hold. I took a three month leave of absence from teaching, and kept working three days at my second position as a residence counselor. I did not watch TV, checked my email twice a day ( Morning and Evening) I only posted what I needed on my Facebook page one a week, and asked my family and friends to respect my need for space and time out.
I found this amazing group of women on Instagram and joined a 90 day writing and journal challenge. No matter the daily obstacles I stuck to the plan. I ate clean, worked out as often as I could and started reading again. As I result of the 90 days in seclusion I completed my journal of 90 of self reflection, discovery and renewal, I have decided to publish this journal in hoped that people will read it and understand that they are not alone in their struggles. Conversations with J. R. Floyd is my new brand. I have found my notch.
Wow. What a difference a year makes. I still do not watch much TV, I like the reading and their is so much I have to learn about becoming a public speaker, in my new BIO I list myself as being a Singer, Blogger, Writer, Educator, and Motivational and Transformation Coach and Speaker. June 17, 2019, after three years of preparing I finally made it to Carnegie Hall to perform Robert Schumann’s Requiem with my classical chorus. This month July, I am traveling to California to tape my show Conversations with J. R. Floyd. My life has taken on a fresh new existence. I walk taller and I have a sense of clarity that I have never had.
I will always be true to my first love teaching, I never became a public school teacher, life had others plans for my talents. I teach English Literature and Grammar workshops to ESL students at a Community College. This past Winter ( Jan to June) I had the privilege to teach my first and I hope not my last High School Equivalency class to a group of amazing adults. My path in life is clear I am called to use my knowledge of the English language to inspire my students, develop my skills as a writer/blogger, while conquering the area of public speaking.
I am no longer trying to establish a career because I now know that I have to create my own opportunity. I know my Romeo is out there, but right now, I am not interested in interrupting my flow, I like my peace, my space to create, the new path that I am walking and the people’s lives that I am touching. When I wake up each morning I have purpose and the drive and energy to make my vision a reality. Happy Anniversary to me.
P.S. coming up soon my new website, my 90 days of Refection, Discovery and Renewal journal soon to be published, In the meantime, my first two novels ” The Waiting Game” & A Different Flavor of Love” are available on Amazon.
Thank you for reading, commenting, and watching my videos
J. R. Floyd a.k.a Dragthepen

Hopeless Romantic

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Dear Readers,

People are saying that they are looking for love, I didn’t know that love was lost. Did you? What kinda love are people looking for, emotional love, puppy love, love at first sight, dysfunctional love, or unconditional love. Where is love hiding? Is it in the closet, under the bed, in the attic or has love been misplaced? Who are people seeking love from? Love of a parent, sibling, friend, partner, child, God, or a pet. How do we define this love people are yearning for, and will they recognize this love if they find it? On the flip side, I hear people say that there is no love in this world. People are of the opinion that we live in a society that ranks acceptance of others based on the haves and have-nots. In other words, people will love you based on the price tag of the material items you give them instead of accepting old fashioned virtues like honesty, respect, values, good morals, family values, monogamy, and a belief in marriage and partnership. Nowadays, people are seeking to engage in a situation- ship they do so with a closed heart, because a situation-ship is a temporary state the theory is that being in a long term partnership is considered a situation that is outdated. Recently, I was made aware of the new roles women play in a man’s life. If she is deemed the lucky she gets to be the wife, then comes the boo who wants to be the wife, followed by the main side piece, ending with just plain old side chick. During the process of this one man running around with three outside women while trying to keep the home life happy he is labeled community property by the women who is sharing him. Where is the LOVE? The love that our grandparents and parents had, that pure untainted love that endured the test of hardships, the love that made them hold onto each other as if life itself depended on it.
The love that forgave minor offenses. The love that didn’t diminish due to separation. The love that remained long after a spouse has departed. People are seeking what’s missing from their lives. Someone they can bond with on a level of complete honesty and openness, someone with sincere and pure intentions, and a person who keeps his or her word. A dependable person who seeks the greater good of happiness for the pure pleasure of seeing the joy in their partners eyes. A true friend and confidant.Someone who will keep their secrets, laugh at their jokes, won’t judge them for their dreams, shield tears with them behind closed doors, endure their faults, a strong shoulder to lean on, and someone who believes in them. This is what most people are seeking. Love is deep and it takes time to develop a sincere connection and lasting bond. Love isn’t instant gratification or a band aid solution. Love can be expressed in many different ways. When People say they are looking for love. I say, look around love is everywhere.
.