The Old Boob Tube

Dear readers,

Life is real not a reality show. Back in the day television was simple people watched soaps, day time talk shows, westerns, and watching T.V. was for entertainment and made for good dinner conversation. I remember the pleasure of Saturday morning cartoons, real funny cartoon not the violence animations that this generation see on T. V. After Sunday dinner the family would gather around the one Television set and watch a  movie. In my day, children watched the occasional program during the week day, but most of our after school hours were spent completing homework and house chores. Family night involved board games and other creative family activities, with special foods like hamburgers and milkshakes from White castles. Back in those days T. V. Wasn’t the focus of our lives.

When I was growing up the biggest names in movies was Bruce Lee and Pam Grier. Today, everybody wants to be Cardi B or Beyonce. I remember being excited to see Donna Reed and Lola Falana, the point I’m making is when we watched Television and turned off the boob tube, that was the end there was no reliving what we knew was programmed for entertainment.

Fastforward……

We went from black and white, to color T.V., manual control to remote control, big box TV to flat-screen, now I think there is a 3D T.V. We watch shows on phones, Ipads, and  binge watch our favorite shows season after season But this is not about the T.V. ; nor is it about the dramatic change in programs this post is about how people mistake what they see on T.V. as reality. Young girls and boys are role playing in real life the characters they see on T.V.  Every body wants to be either a Thug, player, video vixen, which translates to video whore. And, so called reality actors and actress who have basically no talent are revered as role models.

The movie industry isn’t making matter any better. Movies are becoming more action packed and violent. I started thinking about what I watched on T.V. and the impact it had on my behavior. I would arrange my work schedule around my favorite shows. It become so bad when I had a day off during the week, I would not leave the house until I watched ” the young and the restless.” I use to be the queen of binge watching, NCIS, law and Order, Criminal Minds, Numbers and more. I was allowing too much T.V. to  distract me from meaningful task, like going to the gym, reading , volunteer work, anything positive except for sitting hour after hour laying on the sofa and suffering my face with junk food.

Life is real not a reality show. Don’t spend time watching T. V. to avoid living your life.

Thank for Reader, dragthepen

Losing Faith

Dear Readers,

Recently, a few people have started a trend of ” renouncing their faith” meaning, they are revolting against a certain religious ideology that they bought into without having full understanding of what it means to be a follower of Christ; or as some people refer to themselves as Christians. The word Faith, derived the Latin fides, meaning confidence or trust in a person, thing or concept. These individuals are doing publicly what others are doing silently. They are walking away from the grips of organizations that represent themselves as the House of God; but behind the scenes there are activities and decisions made that have nothing to do with the works of God. The movement of the mega churches and creation of the praise and worship teams have become far removed from the original purpose of the Gospels or what it means to be a Disciple. The body of people is what makes up the church, the original establishment of Discipleship is to spread the truth through the teachings of the Gospel, and to follow the examples of good values set forth by Jesus. Nowadays, attending a house of worship is about prestige, and worshiping the Pastors, instead of the creator.
People are not walking away from their Faith, because the Bible says, “Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who come to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” So, are people believing in God or are they putting too much FAITH into the leaders of these mega movements?  People are turning away from organized religious dominations and what these institutions of mega worship represent. Nowadays, the new messenger of God are motivational speakers, throwing in a few Bible verse to stir up people’s emotions pumping them up making them feel good for a moment. These mega institutions are more fixated on the Pastors who present themselves as a one-man show, camouflaging themselves as the only divine and direct contact between God and the people of the church.
The original mission of the Gospels is to be taught throughout the world, in Matthew 28:16-20, the calling is The Great Commission. The movement is Evangelism. The purpose for all people to gain knowledge of ” the good new” (the written accounts of the life and teaching of Jesus) the Gospels are the principle by which humanity is to live by a code of moral ethics. People don’t attend a house of worship to be condemned about their sinful life, instead they are seeking what the Bible promises love, compassion, guidance, forgiveness, they are looking for someone to listen to them without judgement. People who attend houses of worship are judgmental and they misuse the words from the Bible to justify their meanness. People who commit themselves to a house of worship feel compelled to occupy their entire life with things of the church, and if they fail in this effort they are told that their faith isn’t strong or that there is still sin in their life.

Question, how many Pastors do you know that actual visit sick members, go to jails to pray, or know the people in their congregation? As soon as a takes membership in a mega church they are directed to a team member, instead of being formally introduced to the Pastor and the members of the Ministry staff. While people are busy working and laboring for the continued growth of this mega ministries, I wonder how much of the money goes towards helping the needy members in the congregation?

 

You might be wondering, is this a person just ranting against the church or an atheist. None of the above. I am a daughter of a former Pastor; my father is no longer with us. I have first-hand knowledge of what goes on in God’s House, and I am here to tell you that sometimes God has nothing to do with what’s going on behind the scenes. Most Preachers have gotten smart over the years and they have built their own Ministries, so that they can’t be voted out by a church board.  They are in full control and they are running church organizations like the Den of Thieves.” (Matthew 21:12).

 

A few years ago, I walked away from a house of worship that I felt wasn’t teaching the Bible in the spiritual manner that it is intended. The lack of leadership, spiritual guidance and the constant begging for money left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I prayed, fasted and enrolled in a reputable Christian College, and for an entire year immersed myself in the study of the Gospels, and Epistles of Paul. I learned a lot about myself and what it is meant to have a relationship with God. I returned to my house of worship with a new prospective. I have since established a nonprofit community outreach program. Once a month, myself and volunteers, prepare food, give out clothing, take down names and numbers of people in need, and on my own time I explore resources to help them. I no longer participate in any services that’s not teaching the Bible or building tides with the needs of the people in the Community that we worship. I am no longer control by what the leaders of the church say, I live and believe in the word of GOD.

 

So for the people who are walk away from their “Faith” my questions is what did you have Faith in and Why?

What Say You?

 

The downside of being a Man

Dear Readers,

Recently, I blogged about how women, partially black women who are Fed Up with lackadaisical black men.Today’s post is decicated to men who feel that they don’t have parts of them that are broken; and their need to live in denial instead of addressing what is truly nagging at them. Its easy for men to lay blame and point the finger at women for the complications they suffer. Men rely on the theory of Orginal Sin. Remember Eve, Adams wife in the garden of paradise, as the story goes she lead her man astray by convincing him to take a bite from the forbidden fruit. Nice try, but no one is buying into this lame excuse to use women as scapegoats. The truth is men have experienced tragic lost, childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, and some witnessed the abuse of their mothers, were molested, and beaten by their father’s who told them they had to be a man.
Men are under pressure to be leaders, masculine, brave, and to disconnect from their emotional needs so that they wouldn’t appear to be weak. Men have been taught to be predators, aggressive, bread winners, players, and heroes. At a young age, little boys are taught to be tuff, first lesson don’t cry, second lesson be aggressive, third lesson learn how to fight, thus this is how little boys mature into angry adults. Men are told what to feel, and how to think like a man in some cases young boys are put in charge of being the man of the house a role he knows nothing about.
Men are taught that they have to take what they want, and to keep his women in check, that he is the head of the family and his authority should not be challenged. Some men are forced into marriages due to cultural beliefs; others because of knocking someone daughter up. And there are the momma’s boy’s, their mother’s treat them like surrogate husbands, keeping them at home and discourage any women she feels isn’t good enough for her son.
Men are getting married and they are on the DL. Men are allowed to have a wife and a side chick running between two homes, trying to be a man in one, and a player in the other. Bottom line men will never admit that they are oppressed by society’s standards on what it means to be a man. For centuries men have suppressed their anger, and deny that they are emotionally broken leading them to develop dysfunctional behaviors. Its because of these reasons and more that some men find it difficult to successfully engage in a one -on- one intimate relationship. And to conceal what is broken about them they shift the burden on women citing that we are difficult, too emotional, nags, too independent, angry, and selfish.
I would like to say to men I am a mother of a wonderful son who have developed into an amazing father, and dedicated husband. He wears many hats, a Solider, football coach, church musician, and he is an excellent cook. Over the years my son has opened up to me about experiences that have caused him pain, and I am happy about the positive path he has choose  to help heal his brokenness.
The world is not the enemy its just the ridiculous standards that society has heaped upon each gender placing them at a disadvantage. We are not allowed to be our true selves, instead we are told who we need to be.

What say you?

My Amazing son who taught me how to be a better mother and about power of unconditional forgiveness.

Fed UP

Dear Readers,

Black men are accusing black women of being angry, having bad attiudes, and difficult to be in relationships. So, here is the voice of one black women speaking out. It’s not only black women who seem to be angry and have bad attitudes, Its women in general. Women are kicking back against years of mistreatment, degradation and the forceful eyes of the male gaze. Black men are oblivious to the shift of women collectively pushing back from accepting the statues quo of how women are supposed to submit to her man. Yeah, well maybe the submissive act work back in cave men day, we are living in a advanced and modern society; where women no longer have to sit down and shut up. We have risen from the days of sufferage transforming themselves into self sufficient, educated, capable women who have disconnected ourselves from the ideology that women are supposed to be bare foot and pregnant. Women have overcome the standard norm of just being somebody’s wife, housekeeper and sexual object. Women no longer choose to reside in homes where their opinions and voices are not respected because the man Is the sole financial supporter of the home. Women are told that running after children, washing tons of laundry, overseeing homework and other school projects, serving on the PTA, cooking, cleaning, organizing carpools, braiding hair, food shopping, and balancing a tight household budget is not equal to a man bringing home a paycheck. Black Women are done with being held down, keep back, control, abused, manipulated, underpaid, and underappreciated.

So, if black men perceive black women to be angry maybe its because black men have for years gotten away with running games on them, passing black women around like rent-a- chicks, over looking them for white women, dropping seeds and not staying around for financial, physical, and emotional support for their children. Instead, black men want to spend the bulk of their lives being a player, pusher, and pimp daddy drifting from one ignorant sister to the next because some young black women haven’t discovered their self worth. Most black men are afraid of black women who are strong, focused, critical thinkers, financially secure, and emotionally stable. Sistahs have risen above the slick talk and promises of a better day, we are no longer falling prey to the black man’s idea of ” lets just see where this takes us .” Black women have become wise to the game of giving brothers the best years of their lives. Black women are not angry they are fed up with irresponsible, emotional unstable, financial lacking, unfocused, non committing black men. So, we are no longer sitting and waiting for a black prince charming who may never arrive. Black women are buying homes, cars, raising children, earning college degrees, and pulling in six figure salaries. So, to all the black men in the world who accuse black women of being angry and hard to get along with, I say, from where I stand anger looks good on me. The voice of a black women.

What say you?

In Other Words

Dear Readers,

I am a lover of words. I admire words that uplift and inspire. We are a nation and world that is built on words, in the beginning God said, “let there be light” (Genesis 1:3). During the time of our Forefathers they drafted some of the most eloquent writing that since has never been duplicated. The Declaration of Independence begins with, “When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political and band which connected with another” as you continue to read this document observe the words that are well throughout and placed to emphasize the importance of the message. The Constitution of the United States, declares, “We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility” …… the harmony in these words draw attention to the cause of promoting justice and fair thinking. One of my favorite speeches, Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address delivered during an unstable period of our history, “Four score and seven years ago” these words are almost biblical in tone and phrasing. We have great literature that represents the best of thinkers of diverse generations and historical time periods like, the Victorian, Romantic, Renaissance, Enlightenment period, and literature from gothic writers, I studied a course called the Bible as Literature. There are masterpieces that stand long after the authors have met their demise. Charles Dickens, William Faulkner, Ernest Hemingway, The Bronte’s, Jane Austen, William Shakespeare, George Eliot, James Baldwin just to name a few of the great masters. The words that was inspirational in aiding me to change my Major from ECE to English Literature, during my second year of college my professor read, William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 130, My mistress eyes are nothing like the sun…. while he recited these words, I felt the emotional journey that the speaker of poem wanted to convey. They were words of love and adoration. It was then that I learned that words have the power to change and persuade

That was then this is now……………

The word choice of this and past generations degrade, humiliate, and cast a negative light on a terms that are created by speaking negative affirmation in a world that was fashioned with the joys of life and light. The words choice of today’s seemly hip, cool, smart and arrogant young people is the N word/Nigger or Nigah as this generation enunciate this term. There is much debate about who should or should not use the N word, and it seems to be ok for people of color to use this word. I detest blacks and Latina people who use the N word as a term of endearment. Who are they kidding? What they are doing is dishonoring the generations before them who suffered great mental and physical trauma to stand firm against people who wanted to debase them with derogatory terms.  Bitch, or Bitcha a word used among rap singers to refer to women, they have glorified this term. Following in their footsteps of the rappers, are women on Reality TV, besides their tasteless and trashy style of dressing, their verbal abuse of each other is vulgar, what you hear during an hour long senseless show is “bitch this and bitch that. My last word choice is boy.  The word boy is another offensive term used during the slavery towards black men to make them feel that they don’t deserve to be called a man due to their skin color. It was a racist term meant to insult. I am ashamed that the baby boomers and the generations before them failed to stand up to the young people of this generation to correct and educate them that words are not just empty terms and phrases. Words have power and they have an enormous impact on our thinking and emotional well-being. In the words of the late great Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This is what word can do. How are you using your words?

 

What say you?

Dragthepen.

We are what We Think

Dear Readers,

The challenges of the LGBTQ community I know not, here’s what I  have observed the emotional, physical and psychological turmoil that some individuals encounter, and  the population most effected young adults who seldom loose connection with their family due to coming out. I approach writing about some of the problems within the LGBTQ community with much hesitance. This posting is not about religious or political correctness, or who is right or wrong. I am writing this from a viewpoint of observing people mistreated, demeaned and in a few cases lives taken, such as in the case of Matthew Shepard his murder gave the nation a deep and disturbing look at hate crimes committed against people in the LBGTQ community. In Detroit, two Gay men and A Transgender women were murdered because they were a part of the LGBTQ community. The labels of being sick, perverse, unnatural, evil, an abomination, freaks, perverts, and many other countless ways angry heterosexuals refer to people of the LGBTQ community. Heterosexual men and women are afraid that their own sexuality will be questioned if they are in the company of LGBTQ people. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and the deeply religious people pride their Christian faith on, “loving thy neighbors as thy self,” but little love and support is expressed towards the population of young adults who are struggling to find their space in a society that condemns them. The LGBTQ community have made progress in helping to create laws that protects them, the question is why should they need protection under the banner of the Declarations of  Independence that declares that ” all men are created equal”  which can be interpreted as ” all of humanity”. I say, it is unfair for a people to have to fight for recognition and inclusion in a society that deems them outcasts’ because of who they choose to love and simply for being whom they are. If any of my readers interrupt, my voice as  taking sides and supporting the LGBTQ community, my response is that I am supportive of people, humanity,  and their right to have “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” We cannot as a nation continue to be selective of who can and cannot be protected under the law.

It seems so easy to HATE than to open our hearts and minds towards understanding and compassion. I have witnessed and know of many cases where children are turned out of their homes because they came out to their family. I hear Ministers preaching with vigor about the abomination of being a part of the LGBTQ community, yet the church is overran with corruption, Pastors stepping down due to misconduct, discrimination, adultery, and thievery. I state this boldly, having been a daughter of a Pastor, and witnessed these acts of sin within the wall of a place that is supposedly to be a house of worship for all and a safe haven. Moreover, for the Bible toting believers in Christ, who’s only defense is to quote Genesis 2:18, I remind my readers that the Bible has been written and rewritten more time than we can count by men. The public’s opinion and judgment against the LGBTQ community is simply that their way of life is wrong, however, strong this opinion, no one have presented factual events as to why they are wrong. History has proven that there has been same sex couple since the creation of the first civilization. We as a society have become accustomed to offering our voices towards the discrimination of individuals and groups we feel do not fit into a certain standard. Look back at our history Slavery, Immigrants, the poor, the uneducated, gender bias that led to the 1920’s women’s suffrage movement and other feminists movements, and people who are born with mental and physical disabilities. In today’s, modern society we continue to classify individuals based on income, class, skin color, body sizes, and preference of hairstyles. The problems that is tarnishing our ability to live in peace is the continued belief  that people should be judged based on what those in power think, and then the majority follows along without give thought to the lives that are affected due to actions of bigotry. We have learned nothing from our past, when will we as a nations in the word of the late Martin Luther King Jr, when will we live in society were people are not judged by anything but “the content of their character.”

 

To my readers, this is not the end, but the beginning; in 2020, I will produce a documentary based on the thoughts, experiences and lives of young adults who have been affected by coming out. Stay tuned….

 

What say you?  Dragthepen