Turn it down the volume Please!

Noise, Noise, everywhere. Am I getting old or is the world getting louder? No place is sacred.

Cell phones ringing, people engaged in loud face to face conversations. Mothers , yelling at crying children, cars honking, the sound of jack hammers cracking through concrete. Traffic officers blowing whistles, sirens blazing, the sound of music blasting out of vehicles. People turning their homes into night clubs, playing music into the wee hours of the morning having no regards for their neighbors peace.

Either people have become sensitized to the noise or they plug up their ears with more noise to block out the surrendering noise. I work in a high stress environment the level of noise is over whelming. None of my co-workers seem to observe how the noise has a negative effect on our job performance.

At the end of each day, I arrive home drained with a throbbing headache; not because of my job as a teacher, or the hour and fifteen minute commute. ITS BECAUSE OF THE NOISE!

WHAT SAY YOU?

 

 

The Prince and the Empress

The Prince and the Empress

 King Leopold Edward Nenufar of the Slopheovaia kingdom is old and in poor health. The time has come for Prince Christian Edward Nenufar to marry. He is the only heir to the throne. Prince Christian desired to have a union like the one his parents’ had. Their marriage was forged out of love, not out of a call to duty.  While growing up in the palace, he witnessed his parent’s admiration for each other. When his mother, Queen Camila Nenufar died while giving birth to a second child, a girl, who also perished, his father almost ceased to live.  After many years, the Kings royal council pleaded with him to take another wife; He refused, the King said, “I had his one true love.”  This is the story of how Prince Christian Nenufar found his one true love.

Part 2

The voyage

Prince Christian was overseeing the preparations for the voyage he chose four of the finest ships from the royal fleet. One of the ships would carry gifts to present to the bride’s father and mother.  Due to his poor health, King Leopold could not travel with the prince. Instead, he choose six of the wisest men from the royal council to accompany Prince Christian to help with the marriage contract. During the activity, Prince Christian remembered Lanceworth telling him that he had information about this mystery woman. He left the shipyard to find Lanceworth to inquire about what he knows. Prince Christian, Lanceworth in his bedchamber packing for the voyage.

“Lanceworth my good man” he called out to him.

“Yes my lord,” answered Lanceworth.

“I see you have been busy,” said the prince looking around the room at the packed trunks.

“Yes my lord there is much to be done. We set sail tomorrow “Lancewoth said moving around the room.

“Sit for a while and talk to me. Share all that you know about the maiden I seek.” asked the prince

Lanceworth “her name is Drusilla she is a lady at the house of Laurelton.

Interrupting him, the prince said aloud, “Laurelton, Laurelton, where have I heard that name?”

Lanceworth replied, “It is one of the lesser known kingdoms west of Penfirden.”

“That’s about a month’s journey we can make good time if the sea is fair to us.” Prince Christian declared.

Lanceworth replied with these words to encourage the prince, “My lord you need not fear Fate is on your side. The king has sealed this union with his blessings. You must believe that all will be well. You will find her.”

Prince Christian. Smiled at him and said, “You have always been a trusted friend and brother, and I will put my worries aside.”

“You must take your rest because you will need your strength for this journey.” Said Lanceworth, “I will be back first light to gather the rest of your belongings.” When Lanceworth left the room, Prince Christian wondered if he could sleep; he feared that if they did not find her he would be doomed to select another bride.

It was noon the next day when King Leopold walked with Prince Christian to the ship. The sun shined brightly and the wind blew at a steady pace.

The prince spoke in a somber voice, “Father I wished that you were able to make this journey with me.”

“My son, it’s a heavy burden seeing you take this journey, but you are wise you will make it to your destination. When you do stay but a week, to rest your crew and replenish your ships, remember to leave the negations of the marriage contract to the men who sit on my council, soon they will be serving you. Lastly, if your mother were here she would advise you not to allow your emotions to take hold of you. Remember you are of royal blood.” With these last words, the king embraced him, and watched the prince disappear below deck.

As the ships drifted deeper into the sea, the king looked up at the sky and whispered, “Bring him back to me.”

Prince Christian stood on the deck of the ship looking out over the horizon. It has been six days since he left home they traveled a great distance. The weather and sea had been kind. If they continued at the current pace, they will arrive at Laurelton in twenty days. In the meantime, the prince made himself busy. He met with the council and they prepared him for the marriage negotiation.

On the twelfth night of the journey, the sea remained calm. As a reward for the crews’ hard work Prince Christian announced that, the men could enjoy an evening of music and a few rounds of ale. During the night the helmsman, fell asleep at the steer causing the ship to drift of course and away from the other vessels. By sunrise, panic sieged the ship. Prince Christian was awaken and told of the mishap. The ship’s captain ordered the crew on deck. It had to be decided what punishment the helmsman should face.

Prince Christian was the last to arrive on deck this would be his first decision made on his own. He had no desire to punish the Helmsman’s mistake. After all, it was because of his order they indulged themselves in ale. Prince Christian was more concerned about getting back on course then disciplining the helmsman. In the meantime, the captain went below deck to study the maps to get them back on course.

After being asked to step forward by the Prince, the helmsman immediately began to beg the Prince’s pardon, by saying “this is all my fault whatever my end I will except it”

As the Prince stood still and speechless, all eyes were fixed on him. He knew that he had to make the right choice or these men would not respect him when he becomes king. The Prince decided to include the entire crew in this mishap and this is what he said.

“I don’t think that one man must shoulder the blame I hold my entire crew at fault. We are a team are we not? If one man falls then we all share in this failure. The task now is to push forward; there will be no further talk about this. We need to keep our wits and work together to get back on course.

The Prince did not notice when Captain Bartholomew arrived back on deck, He addressed Prince Christian, “Permission to speak” Asked the captain.

“Permission granted, “Replied the prince.

“There is a way to get back on course and shorten the travel time to Laurelton but it will take us through enemy territory.”

Prince Christian asked the Captain “And what about the other ships do you think that they will turn about looking for us? “

Captain Bartholomew responded, “I am sorry my prince I did not think of this,”

The Prince continued, “I am not a navigator of the sea, however, if we turn around and go back towards Laurelton, we could run into the other ships, if not pray that they will continue on and find us there.”

Captain Bartholomew bowed to Prince Christian and said, “As you command my prince.” He turned to the crew and gave the order to turn the shop around. The men scattered to their stations.  The captain asked Prince Christian, “What is to become of the helmsman?”

Prince Christian replied, “Let him be, I have a feeling that after today he will never fall asleep at the steer again.” And with that, Prince Christian returned to his cabin. He wanted to be alone. As soon as he entered the room, there was a knock at the door.

“Who’s there?” asked the prince in an irritated tone.

“Lanceworth my lord, you haven’t had your tea.”

“Enter” the prince called out.

Lanceworth entered the room with a tray he busied himself setting up tea for the prince.

Prince Christian let out a sigh “This situation is my fault. I thought I was doing right by these men. I ordered them to enjoy a night of fun because they are far from home and their families.”

Lanceworth answered, “You’re wrong, the helmsmen is to blame he should have exercised better judgement.”

“Was I wrong not to make an example of him in front of the others?” asked the prince.

“No, what good would punishing him do, these men need to see that their future king can show mercy, they don’t need a king they fear, in this way they will be loyal to you.”

“lanceworth, you are wise beyond your station maybe when I become King I will give you a position on my counsel.”

“Much thanks my lord, “replied Lanceworth, but “I must prefer the position I have now.”

“Good “uttered the prince “I like having you serving close to me. I feel a kinship between us that I don’t feel with the others.”

“Thank you my lord I am honored.”

“You need not be so serious or formal when we are alone. What is there to eat?”

After Prince Christian had his meal, he dismissed Lanceworth, and told him to inform the captain that he is not to be disturbed unless it is of uttermost importance. He wanted to rest and join him after a few hours.

“As you wish” Lanceworth said, as he closed the door.

Prince Christian lay across the bed, feeling weary.  He drafted off to sleep…

He allowed himself to get into a deep sleep that was sweet and colorful. He entered a garden where the scent of the flowers was strong and intoxicating.  When the prince looked down at his feet, he discovered that he was floating on a rainbow colored path that lead him into a mystical forest where there are hundreds of butterflies that looked like fairies. He came upon a bluish green waterfall that reminded him of Drusilla’s eyes. At the end of the waterfall was a pond. He kneeled to touch the water; it felt cold on his hands. While he was looking across the pond, he heard someone singing.  It was a women’s voice and she was calling his name. He listened to hear the direction the voice was coming from.

He noticed that the butterflies started to fly in the direction of the voice as; he followed them deeper into the forest. The singing became louder. He kept going until he came to what seemed to be the end of the forest. There was a bright blinding light, the voice continued calling to him. As he walked into the light, he felt a hand, touching his shoulder. The voice kept calling, “Wake up, wake up.”

Prince Christian opens his eyes, and sees Drusilla. For a moment, he does not know where he is. Looking around the room, nothing is familiar to him except his Mahoney writing table. The walls are a deep purple with Gold flowers. The bed is draped in a canopy with the royal   signea for the king.

He remembers seeing Drusilla in the palace garden. Their eyes met and there was no need for words. Something stirred within their souls at that moment. Prince Christian know he had found his one true love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Healing

Dear readers,

I should have protected her, but I didn’t know she was sacred. When I was a young girl no one told she was the essence of my spirit and the center of my being. No one told me that if I gave her away too soon she would be abused, missed used, hated, battered, passed around, and treated as if she doesn’t have a soul. No one told me that she would cry, hide and begged to be cherished, loved, and protected. No one told me that she would be branded whore, slut, loose, easy, and old maid. I didn’t listen to her when she whispered” lets not do this again.” I pushed her concerns aside for the benefit of pleasure, but the pleasure wasn’t for us. I didn’t hear her when she begged me to stop treating her like stocks on the Wall Street trading floor sold to the highest bider. After all these years of being together I final understood and the moment that I did the emptiness and pain shook me to my core. The years of allowing others to pour into me their brokneness, suffering, pain, bitterness, resentment, and heartbreak, their spirits never left me even when I thought that I started a new. Why? Because no one told me that my womanhood, my maiden head, my innocene, the purest part of me was scared. No one told me to guard her because giving her away to the woves of this world might result in irreversible damage. No one told me that she would rebel, and that I needed to follow her into the battle to wait for the one. The one who would wait for her to mature. To understand that she needed to be loved and that she is a part if a whole. I regret that I abandon her. I was anger at her for not being better for not capturing and keeping those who I considered a soulmate. She understood they weren’t worthy.

Today, after all of the destruction of my past I realized I never forgave myself for not protecting the innocent young girl who give in too soon. Can you ever forgive me?

I write this too all the women who gave in to soon. HEAL.

Vanity

Dear readers
I am guilty. I confess. I admit I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. First, it began as a quest to get healthy, strengthen my bones due to the aging process. It felt good to stick to a regular routine and stay discipline. I slept better, had amazing energy, my skin glowed and I was on top of the world. It was all in vain. I worked out five days a week, hired a trainer attended yoga and spin class all for the wrong reasons. My main objective wasn’t to prevent heart decease or high blood. I worked out because I wanted to attrack a mate. I am guilty of falling into the trap of the beauty myth set forth by the male gaze. I am gulity of believing that if I developed and sustained the ideal body that I would have no problems attracting and keeping a partner. I never believed that men are attracted to women of various body types. The reason for my skepticism every beauty magazine, female actress, singer or public figure is presented as the perfect body size and judge on being the ” It girl”. I don’t know when and where I got the idea that having the ” perfect body” meant that I won’t be alone. There is a flaw to my stinkin thinkin, its my vanity and being overweight in my mind is considered unattractive. For years I watched the scale, and measured my waist. I stopped enjoying food and I developed a love hate relationship with anything that I deemed would ” go straight to my hips, thighs and buttocks”.  for years I didn’t look at myself in a full lenght mirror. when I am forced to try on clothing in a dressing room, I feel intimated by all the mirrors watching me from every angle.
Slowly I started to loose my battle to remain a perfect size 8. Little by little life got in the way and I  stopped working out and doing yoga. I let my guards down and began to nibble on the greasy fried foods that I denied myself for years. I gave into my sweettooth and now I can stop. The constant snacking is out of control. I feel ashame and weak. I failed me. When I look in the mirror I see an old body, sagging breast, wide hips, and untamed thighs. I want it back. I want it all back from the right reasons. Diabetes and high blood pressure runs in my family, so far I’ve been lucky. I want my body back for all the right reasons. I want to be as healthy as I can be at the age of 55. I need to eat cleaner, cut back on the sweets, I have a new work out plan thats reasonable and I have set small reachable goals. I will celebration to keep me motivated each time I achieve a goal. first one, rid myself of the extra 15 pounds. I want to feel good in my clothes, sleep better, have more energy, and get back to running my 3 miles and playing tennis. I need to love and except myself and work with what I have. The vain side of me will always be with me, but I won’t allow my vainty to persuade me that I am not good enough. And as far a s my future her mate, what you see is what you get.

Shacking UP

Dear Readers,

Have you noticed an increasing  number of couples who are Shacking Up? Shacking up is not a prerequisite to marriage.

Something New

Dear Readers,

Coming soon… A Different Flavor of Love. Coming soon, my first short story on my Amazon page for FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is a sneak peek:

Desiree Hancock is the oldest of three children raised by a single mother. Pregnant at sixteen by a young man who has big plans for his life, which do not include her. While living in public housing, she gives birth to two children, and attempts to liberate herself from the welfare system by returning to school and earning her High School Diploma. In comes Leslie Lambert, a white, wealthy lawyer, no children and never married. She is attracted to Desiree, but, Desiree’s only interest in Leslie is the lifestyle that she can give to her children; for a while, Desiree plays along until Leslie asks her to make a choice. Desiree is uncertain about exposing who Leslie is. It takes a life-changing event for Desiree to come to terms with the knowledge that Leslie is offering her more than any man ever did.

 

 

Love & Marriage

Dear readers,

Remember the TV series Married with Children , 1987-1997, and that theme song, ” Love and Marriage, love and Marriage they go together like a horse and carriage.” Speaking of the subject love and Marriage, Tina Turner had a hit song, What’s love got to do with it? For the majority of people who are married they will say they said ” I do” because of love. There is a movies produced by Tyler Perry that ask the question, Why Did I Get Married?

I read  an article by Maggie Gallagher: What’s Marriage Got to Do With Love?

She writes,

Why do lovers marry? For centuries the answer might have been self-evident, but in today’s world where cohabitation is more bourgeois then bohemian, it’s an open question. I posed it not long ago to a group of young, college-educated women. Krista, a 23 year old writer, tried to explain why its so important to her that she and her live -in boyfriend get married. ” I just love the words ” husband and ‘wife”, she says, almost ruefully. ” I know the words are archaic, but I just love the whole idea.”

Krista, like the other young women in the room, lives with the omnipresent reality of divorce. they know a marriage license is no guarantee of permanence. Sex and affection they already have from their boyfriends. Yet, women like Krista long, almost irrationally, for the nuptial bond. the words ” I love you have been drained, through overuse, of all special meanings. and the act of love no longer signifies union. All that is left is this fail, eroding word, ” marriage,” packed with centuries of loving, living growing old together, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

American are marrying people-like Krista, nine out of 10 adult women tie the knot at least once. And yet Americans also have the highest divorce rate in the western world. How do we reconcile the cultural contradiction.

What say you?

Time and Relationships

Dear Readers,

I have a question, why do people say they want to be in a relationship, however, the moment someone express interest in having a relationship with them, they suddenly get BUSY? What do I mean by this, well, there are countless men posting online and walking around in the outside world, who are perpetrating a fraud by pretending not to have time to develop the relationship they claim to be seeking.

The real truth, these same men will make time for a “booty call” or ” a one night stand.” The purpose for dating, not sleep around, and searching online dating services as  another option to meeting that special one who is right for them. Everyday, I hear stories from individuals, who have been emotionally and psychologically damaged by the lies and schemes played on them by those who falsely represent themselves as relationship ready,

I am going to edit my online dating profile to include this line: To the men who don’t have the time to develop a serious relationship because your pretending to be BUSY. KEEP IT MOVING.

WHAT SAY YOU?

 

 

http://www.conversationswithjrfloyd.com/

Damaged

Dear readers,

2017 has seen an enormous amount of women and a few men who came forth with accounts of sexual harassment. Some of these victims of unwanted sexual assault are called “brave” for having the “courage” to speak out about these acts of inappropriate behavior. Some of these incidents have occurred 10 to 30 years ago, and some go so far back in time that I don’t think it is worth mentioning. Don’t take what I am saying out of context, I’m in no way trying to  downplay the “painful” experiences suffered by these victims, however, the questions on my mind is why now? And what do these victims hope to accomplish? Many of the voices who claim to have agonized in silence are currently living a lavish life style. We have heard the wounded say that at the time of the incident of inappropriate sexual behavior that was inflicted on them they, “did what they had to do” or “they did speak out in fear of no one believing them.”

I was stunned when James Levin my favorite composer for the MET, was suspended after sexual abuse accusations that involved unsuitable behavior towards young men. I was floored by the news of Matt Lauer, the former host of The Today Show, sudden termination. My attraction for becoming a long time viewer of The Today Show was due to the chemistry of Matt Lauer, Ann Curry, and Katie Couric, I guess I was wrong. The list of the accuser continues to grow, who will be next? Do these so-called powerful men truly feel remorse for their debauched conduct or are they embarrassed about the fact that they were caught with their pants down so to speak. The lawsuits have begun, they say, “it’s not about the money” then what is it about? Will the private settlements make the pain go away?

I recall when Anita Hill, was the first to publicly speak out about her experience of sexual harassment by her accuser Clarence Thomas. Her statement was questioned by public opinion when it was discovered that she was in Thomas employment on two different occasions and never mentioned his misconduct towards her until his confirmation hearing. During her days of testimony the political view from the Left and Right Wing Theorist, suggested that Hill was used to try to stop Thomas’s affirmation to the Supreme Court. After the dust settled and the smoke cleared, Hill realized that speaking out in her words was “poor judgment.” I digress.

My final say on this subject, to the so-called people in “power” in these places of employment, Hollywood, educational and religious institutions. Regardless of being a white or blue-collar worker, low-income, middle class, wealthy or the uber rich, it is not enough to say shame on you, or for you to seek forgiveness because of a few words of apology for your wicked behavior. You did what you did because you felt that you are above the law with your “power and money” reckoning day is here, and your reign of terror is over; your so-called “poor judgment” has resulted in permanent scares and a stain of distrust in the American people.

Word Wall part 4

Insecure, emotionally, void, compassion, dyfuncational, mean- spirited, abuse, broken, helpless, weak, strenght, fear, facade, defensive, aggressive, violence, belittle, self esteem, anger, degrading

Dear Readers,

Have you ever encountered an individual who is insecure, emotionally out of control, and they lack compassion for the pain they inflicted on others? This person is void of the world around them because they live in a bubble. Most of these emotionally broken people come from dysfunctional homes, where they witnessed or were a victims of abuse, so expressing anger and behaving in a mean-spirited manner is a normal part of who they are. They put up a façade of strength because they don’t want the appear weak and helpless. They speak negative of others, and tend to become defensive and aggressive to the point of violence. Belittling other is what they are best at because degrading others boost their low self- esteem. Sadly, there is only one word for this individual, Bully

what Say You?

click on the link and check out my new website: http://www.conversationswithjrfloyd.com/