Downtime?

 

 

DEAR Readers,

Rebirth

Dear Readers,  Two years, I embarked on a journey of healing due to many failed relationships. As a result I have leaned a great deal about myself and how I have contributed to these failed unions. During the the 720 days spent on self care, reading books, yoga, meditation, sitting in silence  and other forms of healing; I wrote 90 journal entries in 90 days of intense thinking. I choose to publish my journal into a book: 90 days of Reflection, discovery and Renewal…..release date for my birthday March 25, 2020. This 90 days of reflection, discovery, and renewal is a personal journey of deep contemplation and a search for answers to a life in a constant battle with tragedy, depression, and hopelessness. For some people hitting a brick wall knocks the life out of them. My collision lead to a level of clarity to understand how unnecessary distractions and being unaware caused my life to veer of course. My experiences have taught me that sometimes a second chance can lead to a new beginning.

 

Since my troubles started because of relationship drama what I learned from this two year journey of healing. I no longer invite men to sleep over because my bed is my scared space. I stopped having house dates, and Netflix chill nights. I require men to call instead of texting me. Date night has to be at a decent time. I no longer except late night calls. I require to be picked up at my door and returned to my residence without the expectation of being asked to come in. I am no longer a wife in waiting as so many are sitting around waiting for Mr. Right. Done that rode that horse and was thrown to the ground too many times. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned. I choose to spend the remaining days of my life making myself priority number 1, focus on my spiritual growth, and getting close to my grandchildren. Deeply thankful that relationships with men are no longer an🥂 intrusion in my life.

 

 The Waiting game is book that challenges the relationship myths women are expected to follow and can be beneficial to men as well because it opens up our perspective on relationships and how women really feel. Great read so far. I suggest checking it out on Amazon.
👉🏽The Waiting Game 

My Purpose

Dear Readers,

Good day. This is the day that Lord has made rejoice. If this is your first time following me welcome 💖. I am J. Rahshemah Floyd creator of Conversations with J. R. And the blog @ Dragthepen.wordpress. I created these forums to discuss topics that have created division between men and women, and have caused family’s to become dysfunctional. Often you will hear me on my You Tube channel discussing difficult topics that few people will address. It is the hide issues that hinder us from being true to who we are and from developing good long lasting loving relationships. My purpose is not to blame, degrade, disrespect, or to be sexist. My goal is to inform, uplift, enlightened and to empower. Today’s question, what are we as a society teaching women? We live in a culture that turns a blinds eye when women all over the world are forcing themselves to engage in sexual activity even when they are not in the mood. SOCIETY TELLS there duty to keep their man happy. Please think about the emotional and mental anguish this contributions to women becoming damaged. Thank you for reading. For more topics subscribe to my you tube channel @ Conversations with J. R. Floyd💖

 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

 

Dump the Wish List

Dear Readers,

The issues isn’t about making new years resolutions its about whether your resolutions have purpose. In other words, what is the intentions behind the Resolutions? Most people begin a new year with the hopes that the new number in the year will make and improvements in their lives. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if your not making changes in your thinking and  behavior then what sense does the lip service of a resolution makes?

There is not one person on this plant that doesn’t have the right to have a better quality of life; but wishing isn’t going to make the changes in your life happen. There is no magic spell or  secret, the main point to change is to be specific about what you want, and if what your seeking is the right fit for your life. When choosing to make resolutions make sure your goals are realistic and reachable.

Some factors to consider if your in a marriage or partnership how will your individual resolutions affect the relationship? And is your partner supportive of the changes? And most important is the Resolutions about the change of your relationship with your partner?

Are you ready to be consistent, persistent, patient, aggressive, and humble in accomplishing your Resolutions? What does these Resolutions mean to you? If you desire to save money are you willing to cut useless spending, acquire a second job, create a budget, and stay focused until you reach the amount you want to save? One of the most popular Resolution is to loose weight. Are you ready to clean out your pantry of the unhealthy foods? Hire a trainer and work through day after day of soreness and pain until your body is fit? Drink 8 glasses of water per day and show up to your workout even if your trainer cancel the session?

Is your Resolution to leave a relationship that is no longer a good fit for you? Because staying means you will never be able to heal from the mental and emotional damage cause by a dyfuncational relationship.

Again, I ask the question, if your making a Resolution or Resolutions what is the purpose? What is the meaning of creating a list of promises without an agenda? My intention for focusing on this subject of Resolutions is to remind my readers  that a wish is just a wish.  A to do list isn’t effective if there isn’t a plan to get busy doing the work to check off each task as they are completed.

Dreams are ideas that begin in our minds and it is the excitement of the thought of turing the dream into a reality.  But what happens after a few days, weeks when the excitement turns into hard work, discipline, staying focus by eliminating distractions, and moving obstacles that will impede your plans.

Now I ask you. What is your vision for your life?

I’m just saying

Dear Readers,

I don’t understand living in a society that is complacent about women and little girls being raped, molested, forced into marriage,and child brides, encouraging women to remain in abusive relationships, being side chicks, sex workers, baby mother’s instead of honorable wives. Why are we placing more value on men, yet, we disgrace the women who risk their lives to give birth to men.

Thank  you for stopping by Dragthepen

Born of a Woman part 2

Dear Readers,

By the way… Continuing on the subject of the shady treatment towards  women. Let me further explain when women say, ” they don’t need a man or they prefer not to be in a relationship”. Women are not confused, insane, a lesbian, or  to trying to be a man, these are some of the judgments society use against women who choose to opt out of engaging in relationships that do not honor them.

Usually, women who desire to be alone or find strength in a sisterhood are women who have experienced  molestation at the hands of male family members, or experienced abusive relationships, and their wounds are deep and difficult to heal. There are women who have been cheated on and stranded in financial situations with children that caused them to find unpleasant means to survive. Women are at the end of their rope they are emotionally and mentally broken, and spiritual bankrupted by men who have ran so much game on them that they lost faith in any relationship being real.

Hello men of this world, let the truth be told. Women seek truth, warmth, emotional closeness, support, communication, monogamy, protection, and real guidance ( not a dictatorship). Women desire to be in partnerships that support their emotional and intellectual, and personal growth.

Women are fed up with being sexual objects, baby mothers, common law wives or live in partnerships without the benefits of being honored as a wife. Women are discovering  the joy and fulfillment in being single, acquiring an education, earning higher incomes, traveling, and discovering hidden talents that they turn into businesses. Women desire to have their voices heard and their concerns taken seriously.

Women are moving forward without men, and each time we are pushed back the harder we come back.

The wait is over the choice is yours. Thank you for stopping by Drathepen.

From a Woman You Are Born

Dear Readers,

I don’t mean to start the New Year off on a sour note, but there is something that’s been on my mind and I would like to hear what you have to say about this matter. I have noticed a black-lash focused on women. There is this idea that what has gone wrong with men is because women need be better. A very popular Pastor, stated that ” women who say they don’t need a man is suffer from the spirit of lesbianism”. It is also said that women who are fortunate to be self- sufficient, and that their well being isn’t depended upon a man that these women are single because they are not allowing a man to be a man.

Black women are are the top of this accusation because it is said that they are the reason why millions of black men are incarcerated. These men have lost their place in their homes because some women have risen up and taken charge, so men no longer feel useful, in other words, “they don’t feel like a man”.

So, there are books, conferences, webinars,and seminars for the purpose of getting women to understand their submissive role, as a mother and wife, and not as an individual, and some how by going outside of their normal roles they don’t fit into society. There is a course titled, Wife in Training, in this course women are being told to wait and prepare for their husbands. Women are being told not to date because dating leads to sex, and a woman who have had multiple sex partners is referred to as used or loose. I have observed and spoken to women who are waiting in anger and frustration because they desire to be deemed ” a good women”. Some women are young and have little to no experience with men, therefore, their minds and hearts can be molded by the first man who comes along and says those magic words, ” I love You”.
Forced marriages, arranged marriages, women sold into marriages, women who are married to abusers who on the outside portrays himself to be the perfect husband and a pillar of the community. Women are suffering behind closed doors due to financial abuse, cheating husbands, absentee husbands, the kind that works, pays the bills and arrives home when he feels it needed. Women are being told to stay with their husbands because being single is not good. As I recall the Bible says in Genesis, God Said” it is not good for a man to be alone”. Have you noticed that when a women frees herself from a relationship that doesn’t allow her to grow once she lands back on her feet she glows.

There are smart, talent, educated women having to hold themselves back, so they don’t take the spot light off of their man. Look at the case of Ike and Tina Turner, and who turned out to be the winner?
Women are leaving marriages that they have been for 10, 20, 30 plus years, why, because they weren’t allowed to flourish they were stuck under the titles of wife, mother, cook, car pooler, problem solvers, and their worth and contribution never equals that of a man who goes out and slay the bacon because he is doing what a man is supposed to do.
I wonder why so much aggression toward women? Women beaten down with such disgraceful labels, and women in Hollywood are baring it all and engaging in cat fights in order to stay on top. Women are used in videos not for their talent, but like porn stars and freaks. There are plenty of women who are making the choice to be single because of their experiences and they don’t want to settle. Men are bachelors for years and they are celebrate as doing the right thing because they are avoiding ” gold diggers”.

I am going to stop here. I hope that I have gotten my point across. To the women who are fortunate to find a man who will respect and love you until death does it part, God bless you. For the women like me who have decided enough of useless relationships and choose to remain single, and be happy with life, good for you. To the men of this world I say, no women likes to be abused, conned, held back, lied to and strung along, and what goes around comes around. and when you find yourself in your old age looking for a caretaker, just remember in your youth all the chances you had to embrace love, but you wanted to be a player instead.

The choice is yours, the wait is over.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.