Are You a Passive Participant in your Life?

Dear Readers, 

By now you should be familiar with who I am and what I do. Recently, I posted my welcome video to Conversations with J. R. Floyd, my latest project on my YouTube channel, decided to issues that impact our intimate relationships and explore problems that destroy families. This month ( July 2020)  I am celebrating my 2nd anniversary for my  YouTube channel, and my path to healing years of emotional and spiritual brokenness. At the beginning of 2020, I asked my viewers, readers, bloggers, and supporters to join me in this year’s Theme of writing letters to self. This idea came to me while I was penning my third book, 90 Days of Reflection, Discovery and Renewal. During my journey of journaling for 90 days, I discovered that there were areas of my life that I thought that I had healed, but certain events in my life brought to my awareness that I need to revisit some old wounds that really hadn’t healed completely.   

I have written letters to myself, to people, ( My mother and father), to my supporters, to life, and to love, however, I never sat down and wrote a letter addressed to me. I spent years walking through life in a fog, meaning that my life had no direction nor did I have any good role models to support me. I walked around in darkness and pain, but  I wasn’t aware that I was suffering, I covered up my pain and distress by engaging in one bad relationship after another. I worked out like a fiend and stick to a strict vegetarian diet. I wanted everyone to see that I had my life together, but the truth was I would go home and fall to my knees in tears because wearing masks was exhausting. 

It wasn’t enough that I had worked my way through College, an accomplishment that I never celebrated because I wanted others to praise me and put me on a petals, and when this didn’t happen the seeds of anger were planted. When I didn’t get my dream job or what I thought was my dream,  the seeds of anger sprouted into buds of resentment.  It never dawned on me that I was spewing my bitterness at the wrong people. I didn’t know that I was supposed to create the life I wanted, instead, I was under the impression that life was supposed to bring me what I wanted just by me thinking it. I thought that if I was a “ good girl” and did all the right things, walk a “ good path” that all things good would come to me. So, I wasted years of my life hoping, wishing, praying, crying and wondering when am I going to catch a break? All this time I didn’t understand that I was a passive participant in my own life. It wasn’t until someone said to me, “ you don’t wait for people to give you an opportunity, you make your own” that Was in 2014. Since that time I’ve become an active participant in my own life.

The change didn’t happen overnight and I have had some setbacks, but the lessons and the progress I’ve made in the last three years is amazing. Blogging, publishing my own books, living my dream of singing in a classical chorus, traveling, creating my YouTube channel, and my latest project a new website Conversations with J. R. Floyd. I teach vision board workshops and coach people how to make their visions for their life a reality. I go to bed each night with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Pursuing an intimate relationship is no longer a priority. I surrounded myself with people who encourage and support my life vision and growth. I cherish my new found peace and clarity, and looking forward to the new change in my career as a Case Planner working with children in foster care. My first love will always be teaching, but it is time for change. 

  

Thank you for stopping my dragthepen

        

both of my books are available on Amazon

11 thoughts on “Are You a Passive Participant in your Life?

  1. ON RELIABLE INFORMATION

    ♤ Historically Medical ‘Professionals’ have GOT IT BADLY WRONG!!! by Leeching to Bleed Bad Blood, Drilling Holes in Heads to Release Bad Vapours, Amputating on a Whim ad nausea; now The Media is Torn Apart with Some Agreeing with Online Commentators about This Virus NoneSense and Others Towing The Party Line and INSISTING!!! on How Serious This Dumb Virus Thing Is

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …♤♤♤…

    ON MEDICAL EXPERTISE

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ With ALL Due Respect to Those who Practice Medicine Honestly, adhering to The Hippocratic Oath, Pharma is a Slave to Mammon only interested (pun intended) in Making Money; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that there ARE so Many Medical Practitioners who Favour Money over Health such as A Doctor who Reportedly told a ‘Cancer Patient’ ” You’re gonna die anyway; so take the treatment; then I Get Money.”

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON SELF ESTEEM, SELF CONFIDENCE AND SELF HARM

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ If YOU!!! Look Outwards for Guidance then YOU!!! ARE Looking in The WRONG!!! Direction; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that ALL YOU!!! Need is InSide of YOU!!! so Rely On Others At YOUR!!! Potential Peril

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON SOVEREIGN SPACE

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ It’s Crystal Clear Clarity that Privacy means NOTHING!!! to Me AnyMore; so SAY!!! it Publicly or Keep YOUR!!! FUCKING!!! Mouth Shut

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON THE TRUTH

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ What is The Difference Between Our Transparency and Our True Colours EveryOne; only The Real WILL!!! Know, ALL The Rest ARE LIARS 🤔 ?

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON PHILOSOPHICAL MUSINGS

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ One should only try to change OneSelf; the World, that some call Gaia, goes about Changing HerSelf Regardless of YOU!!…if YOU!!! Don’t Believe Me; just Ask The Dinosaurs and, Yes, YOU!!! Can Ask Them 🤓

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON LOGIC VS RESONANCE

    ♡ Definitely My Heart Over My Head; aka ‘SomeThing Fishy is Going On Here and I Can’t Quite put My Finger on It.’ 🤯😳🤔 ?

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …♡♡♡…

    ON DEFENCE AND ATTACK

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    A Boy is a Bomb like a Blast; totally UnConcerned about The Collateral Consequences to The Innocent…a Lady is a Laser like a Sniper, a Surgeon with a Scalpel; generally Only Ever Hitting The Target

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON EVOLVING AND ASCENDING

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    The Process of Evolution and Eventual Ascension is Way Far from ALL that Sweetness and Light, Calm, Meditative Methods Many would Have Us Believe EveryOne; it’s a bit like Being Pregnant and Expecting…looking forward to The Bundle of Joy in The Knowledge that it’s NOT!!! Gonna Be ALL Plain Sailing, in fact it’s Gonna Be FUCKING!!! Painful; funnily enough the Physiological Sensations ARE Similar…such as:

    ♤ Spewing
    ♤ Heaviness
    ♤ Sweats
    ♤ Cravings
    ♤ Loss of Appetite
    ♤ Erratic Circadian Rhythms

    …basically Our Cells ARE Converting from Carbon Based to Crystalline Based; an EXTREMELY, VERY, VERY, VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!!! Process if We CHOOSE!!! to Accept It…there ARE Three Stages; these Being:

    ♤ 1. Physical Maturation
    ♤ 2. Energetic Growth and Development
    ♤ 3. Ascension

    …if We Reach 3 and CHOOSE!!! to Remain in 3D then We ARE Powerful and Bound by 5D Guidelines; so I Urge ALL of The Ascended to Remember The Words “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility” from Spiderman, oh, and By The Way (BTW), at some point(s) YOU!!! will Bleed from YOUR!!! Bum; a Medical Professional will Diagnose Cancer and Send YOU!!! off for Treatments that WILL!!! Kill YOU!!! as there is NO!!! Cure for Cancer just Radio/Chemo Therapy; because The Rapid Replication of Cells is a Perfectly Natural Process as is Leaving Family and Friends Behind until They Catch Up on Their Own, Personal, Individual, Unique Evolutionarily Path…

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON LITERATURE

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ The Beauty of Online Publishing is that We ARE Able to Create Organic Living Books without Being Beholden to The Greedy, Controlling Publishers; so THINK!!! Again when Scrolling Past a Post that is ‘Too Long’

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION, DISAGREEMENT, CHANGE OF HEART, CHANGING OUR MINDS AND WANTING TO AVOID BEING WRONG

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ I Was Chatting with a Friend, They Said that in Modern Times EveryOne Demands to Be Right; in Response I Suggested that this had been The Way in ALL of Human History…so He Totally Disagreed; then I Quoted Ancient Wars and He RAGED!!! 🤬 Telling Me “JUST FUCK OFF AND NEVER SPEAK WITH ME AGAIN!!!”; while “NEVER COMMUNICATE WITH ME EVER AGAIN 🤬 !!!” is often a Cry For Help, Agree-To-Disagree Works Much Better as We Continue to Care For Each Other and Civilly, Courteously Communicate; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that Measured, Patient InterActing is Much Better than expressing EMOTIONAL ULTIMATUMS!!!
    ◇ The Quintessential English have a Wonderful Way of Saying “You are sooo wrong.” and it is “I think you may not be quite correct.” thus Helping Others Deal with Our Confusion, Angst, Annoyance and Anger about Being Perceived as Being Wrong; which is a Mental Health State that is called Confusion, Cognitive Dissonance, by Mental Health Workers such as Volunteers, Practitioners and Professionals…so, I Reiterate to ALL I AM Black yet called COON!!! by Whites and COCONUT!!! by ‘Fellow Blacks’ for Being White On The InSide; so very much Confusing; GO FIGURE!!! 🤔 ?…
    ◇ Answers on a PostCard Please; if YOU!!! Dare 🤫🤭🤐

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON BELIEF AND CONVINCED; FAITH AND CONVICTION

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ Believe It to SEE (Soulful Emotional Energy) It, SEE It to Believe It or a Combination of Both; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity to Me that It’s ALL in The Moment 🤔 ?…after many years on This Planet, that Some Name Gaia, I Have Experienced a Great Deal of Cognitive Dissonance as I Shifted from One Set of Beliefs to Another via Convincing Arguments from Others; now I Have Faith and Conviction in SomeThing that NoOne is Ever Gonna Budge Me From, Change My Mind…it’s Stubbornness perhaps; yet I AM UnAble to ReCall such an Overwhelming Sense Of Love, In Joy and At Peace without Being Dead and R.I.P. 😂🤣😅😆😁😄😃😀🙂

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON EMOTION

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ HATE!!! is NOT!!! The Opposite of LOVE!!! which has NO!!! Opposite as ALL is LOVE!!! but NOT!!! Necessarily Peace and Joy; ergo the Opposite of HATE!!! is LIKE!!! with varying levels of DisLike and Disgust In Between

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON GLAMOURS AND MOMMY DEAREST

    ♡ I AM talking about The Pretty Girls and Boys that Live and Earn off Their Prettiness even if it Means Being Mean and The Exploitation of ANY Others; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that Kate Windsor is NOTHING!!! like that at ALL whereas Meghan Markle is a Product of Her Mothers Vanity, Fury and Desire for Revenge and in a Daughter Confused Victim Mode Loving and Hating Her Mother

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …♡♡♡…

    ON KNOWLEDGE, BELIEVING AND WISE

    ♡ My Summation is that Wisdom is Belief EveryOne; for example Knowledge is Opinions and Alleged Facts (False News 🤔 ?) that Many of Us Repeat Parrot Fashion while Some of Us, in Our Wisdom, Believe The Knowledge to be Wrong and ARE Quite Often Proved Right Over Linear Time

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …♡♡♡…

    Like

  2. Congratulations!

    You have made some wonderful achievements and I admire you.

    I can really relate to the mistaken idea that if you do the right things life will bring you what you desire. You are an example to all women that we cannot be passive participants in life and expect to be rewarded. We need to become active purpose-driven achievers!

    I too only cottoned on to this truth late in life but I trust that in time to come, I will achieve similar success with respect to my own dreams.

    Keep up the excellent work and thanks for your honesty in sharing this post. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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