Ladies are you making yourself too available?

Dear Readers,

 There are some omen who make themselves too available for men, and of course we know who benefits from this situation. I observe and personally acquainted with diverse women from various professions, earning power and education, who spend an increasing amount of hours  accommodating men. This post is in detail demonstrating a few areas where women are making mistakes  when dating or uncertain about their position in a situationship. One major problem with women who make themselves too available to men, they become a convenience instead of an equal partner in a loving, supportive long term relationship. One problem with this situation is that the women who ruin men by making themselves ready available, when these men move on it makes it difficult for other women who will not be at a mans beck and call.  

One  mistake some women make while dating is that they tend to perform wifely duties without the benefit of being a wife. For the sake of clarity a wife means a woman has walked down the aisle, taken vows before God and witnesses, and has been bonded with a man in holy matrimony. Not a wife in the sense that women are labeled a wife or in a common law situation. Women need to stop playing the role of a wife without the benefits, taking care of his laundry, cleaning his apartment, cooking, lending him money and your car, and  paying his bills. Ladies this is called playing house and being played. 

Many women are dating without a clear defined purpose or dating with the word desperation stamped across their foreheads; reeking with the scent of I’ll do anything just as long as you make me feel important, and that I am your one and only. Women who make themselves sexually available before establishing whether they are in a committed relationship. Ladies if your willingly give yourself over to a man physically, be ready to accept what’s coming, meaning expect to be asked for sexual favors often, and when you become weary of giving your body to a man who has not committed to you or sees you as his means to release his frustrations, you will  have yourself to blame. Why? Bottom line a man will take what is offered to him. 

 Here are a few ways women set themselves up for failure by answering late night texts, calls, and allow men to show up at their homes unexpectedly. Over time these bad habits become inconvenient to women, and beginning taken for granted. Women who rearrange or adjust their schedule to meet the needs of selfish men who take advantage of women with low self -esteem, because they don’t know their worth.Women became trapped in the bad habit of being a man’s savior by standing by his side even when he is wrong. Overtime women come to the realization that they are not honored or loved because of their good qualities, but because you’re the type of women men call EASY. You’ve made yourself too available and now  you don’t know how to break the spell.   

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

30 thoughts on “Ladies are you making yourself too available?

  1. This is exactly what I have been saying for years but I’ve been called old-fashioned and not hip with time. I see women bending over backward all the time for men who couldn’t care less. My mother told me a man won’t buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.
    I came across one book saying this exact same thing. I didn’t write it but I do agree with a lot of what the author is saying. It’s: The Power of Sex and How to Wield It by Samantha Collins. Most woman are quick to label women who practice these methods listed in this book as a paramour and I mean the old definition of the word but they usually get what they want from a relationship because they don’t put out until he put out.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Powerful comments and that you for making the reading material available. There are women from various generations that have not been taught how to truly present themselves as a woman of value.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That comes to mind when I see so many beautiful women forsaking who they are as a person just to have someone in their lives who aren’t worthy of them. I think many have been damage or their self-esteemed has beaten down by their relatives long before they’re old enough to date. I started taking a closer look at this phenomenon when I observed so many women feels it’s okay for a man to be abusive if he say he loves you. A few have ended up dead and that isn’t love.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, this is a sad trend. I wrote this because of my experiences. I wrote my first book The Waiting Game due being beaten down first by family and a mother who taught me nothing about life and relationships. I am one of many, many women who have gotten help and healed, but so many others are still trapped in this cycle of abuse. Thank you for stopping by dragthepen🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      • I used to do volunteer work at a domestic violent shelter and yes, indeed far too many do not know their worth. You are right, the cycle needs to be broken before it destroy another generation.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Even if you are old fashioned…. the right type of man for you is going to appreciate that quality….. where the wrong type of man for you won’t….

        Liked by 2 people

      • You’re welcome… I think most know…. However, most tend to lower their standards because they don’t know their true worth unfortunately and most people going to continue to do what you allow, accept, or tolerate from them.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I agree. It’s sad that too many girls and young women aren’t taught their worth.

        If one has never been told their worth then they will not know it.

        Too many have never been told to raise their standards and sometimes if they raised them and she did not fit certain criteria outlined by society as to what’s deemed worthy, then their worth still is not valued.

        I think it is up to the generation of women who were taught their worth to teach it to those who were not.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Correct, I think it’s just as important for women to grow up seeing their mom or any woman that plays a huge role in their life treated with respect and like a queen by their man on a regular. I say that because if you grow up around dysfunction and that is all you see with most people in a relationship that you’re around often, the average person will grow up thinking that is the norm.

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      • I agree 100%! Fathers need to step up the plate and need to show their daughters how a man is supposed to treat a woman.
        I guess he can’t if he has never been shown how.
        I can’t say I grew up in a dysfunctional family. Because I didn’t. I saw my parents show each other a great deal of love and respect.

        I believe the modern day pop culture plays a huge role in how disrespectful behavior is so acceptable today whereas years ago it wasn’t considered cool and nor hip to abuse and mistreat women and girls.

        Liked by 1 person

      • There is certain things a true father figure is needed to teach along with a true mother figure in both a man/woman life. Also, to your point, a person can’t teach what they weren’t exposed to, why it’s important for a person to choose wisely who they lay down with, since you don’t want to be a man and have a baby by a woman that prioritize going to a party over staying at home and taking care of her sick child herself and as a woman you don’t want to have a child by a man that can’t handle adversity and leave you to raise the baby alone. Last, I was taught if you don’t raise your kids yourself, something else will.

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      • Yes, I agree 1000%. “I was taught if you don’t raise your kids yourself, something else will.”

        My mother told me as The Miracles sung -“Shop Around” It doesn’t mean sleeping around as the younger generation take it to mean. It means looking around for someone who is best for you. Don’t grab the first person who say “I love you” and make them your love interest. Date and get to know more people.
        Because it takes only one bad person to make your life pure living hell. Once you have kids with that terrible person you can’t exclude them from your life.

        Many good,and decent people were reared by people of another generation who had different mindframe than the predator one we see today. These are people who hadn’t experienced just how evil the world truly is. In their day and time people respected each other and that’s how they raised their children. When they courted and married the world was a different place than it became in later years.

        They couldn’t teach their children that which they didn’t know. They didn’t know how to be dirty and take advantage of people and most of the people they knew didn’t know all this malicious behavior either.

        So, the children of these decent people grew up thinking most people had some human decency in them, not knowing that there were some people who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever and isn’t trying to get any.

        A new wave of thinking came upon the scene and took over. A way of thinking that hasn’t help anyone except a selected few. Those on the top. Most people who came of age in the midst of this new wave of malicious thinking was pretty much left a prey to the predators of this way of thinking.

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      • Thank you for your comment. I didn’t come from a home where I was taught anything. For years I have been bitter towards the adults in my life would watched me for years to self disstruct and not help me to be better. But I am getting help and the path to healing..

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad you’re getting help for your anger and letting it go. I know it is hard especially if the lack of knowledge lead you down a road you wouldn’t have traveled had you been more informed. It depends upon the age and generation of the adults in your life. They may have not known anything to teach you. They perhaps didn’t grown up in a predatory environment nor encountered people with such selfish motivation and therefore taught you the same things they grew up with not realizing that the world had changed from their day. That’s why as a parent we ave to always be on the look out for things that works different from our own generation. While on the other hand we have some parents who attempts to combat this by revealing far too much too soon. Or doing things like allowing their child’s girlfriend or boyfriend to live with them or spend the night.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome. I noticed too many fathers feel a girl child will be fine just as long as she has her mother. But girls need their fathers too. They need their fathers to show them how a man is supposed to treat her. He should treat her mother the way he wants a man to treat his daughter. If not the girl will grow up thinking abuse and domestic violence is normal and tolerate it in her own relationships.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You are correct. I’m my case I didn’t have good role models about how to conduct a good relationship or how to simply date and choose who I want in my life.

        Liked by 1 person

      • The first half of my life was filled with tragedy , but I am not a victim, I am a survivor, and the next half of my life I am now 56 is better. The healing process is difficult,. But it’s worth the effort.❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, people are usually told their standards are too high by someone who only see things from the lens of their current life. A good example, a person who went to a major university and graduated with honors can be more picky on where they decide to work oppose to someone with just a high school education, why I always try to seek key advice from someone who is already where I’m trying to get to in life.

        Liked by 1 person

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