It’s Not All in Your Mind

For the people who have difficulty distinguishing what Depression/ Mental illness/ Emotional Trauma is or isn’t…Read This.

Mental illness, depression or emotional damage isn’t a sour mood, bad attitude, evil spirits, pretend, a cry for attention, fun, a hobby, habit, a mask or a choice. People who suffer with mental illness or the trauma from emotional damage whether diagnosed or undiagnosed these people live in constant judgement, pain, confusion and darkness. 

Mental illness or emotional trauma doesn’t take a vacation and won’t mysteriously disappear, and it’s certainly not something people outgrow, medication might help, but for many people the battle to have normal days is an ongoing struggle. No one can drink away, pray away, or wish away mental illness or the damage caused by emotional abuse. And, as quiet as it’s kept men suffer from mental illness, depression and emotional brokenness just as much as women do. Even so, society has set forth a ” bro code”  that real men don’t cry and tell. Men are made to feel weak and ashamed if they admit that they are struggling with some form of mental illness, thus they remain silent suppressing anger and resentment towards a society that has created only a few places where men can go and feel safe to talk and heal. 

Women of all colors, cultures, and different religious beliefs who suffer from mental illness, depression, low self esteem, low self worth, brought on by childhood trauma, sexual abuse, emotional neglect, and domestic violence, having to grow up too fast, and as children are told not to tell, and are brain washed to believe that no one, meaning a man will want her,  if he discoverers that she is emotionally broken or damaged good. So, what do most women do? They act out. They become promiscuous, hooked on drugs, addicted to bad relationships, victims of domestic violence, or collecting baby father’s searching for healing in all the wrong places feeling abandoned, scared, alone and hopeless.

Children are the most vulnerable to mental illness that sometimes follow them into adulthood. We live in a society that turns a blind eye to how children are affected by the chaos that surrounds them in the world, on television, and their living situations. We are currently living in a revival of violence against children, racism, and broken families, especially in the black community. By the same token, a child’s future is endangered by parents who are too quick to have their child diagnosed and medicated to receive a government check. This begins a lifetime of children being falsely labeled as damaged, danagerious, and unable to learn. There are some children who are born with learning disabilities or an illness that cause them to lag behind in growth and slow to reach certain cognitive and developmental milestones. But, what about the children who live in homes where they experience emotional and physical trauma due to the lack of basic needs, and there is an increasing number of children living in situations where love is  rarely expressed, their voice isn’t heard, family time is non-existent, and the most damaging aspect is children being raised in single parent homes or by aging grandparents.

Some of the most devastating effects of mental illness is that it destroys families and marriages, people find it difficult to maintain employment, and friendships, they feel alone, judged and isolated. The best that the medical professionals seem to be doing is developing more medications or recommending institutionalization for the safety of society.  I wrote about this topic because I experienced depression at a young age and it was left untreated for years, I observed domestic violence in my childhood home, and I saw the damage that men can do when they are angry. I am a survivor of domestic violence, currently on the path to an amazing journey of healing from the damage of emotional trauma and learning to create a better life. I hope that everyone who reads and shares this conversation about mental illness and depression for a better understanding of acceptance and inclusion. 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

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11 thoughts on “It’s Not All in Your Mind

  1. Trauma from unchecked child abuse typically results in the helpless child’s brain improperly developing. If allowed to continue for a prolonged period, it acts as his/her starting point into an adolescence and (in particular) an adulthood in which its brain uncontrollably releases potentially damaging levels of inflammation-promoting stress hormones and chemicals, even in non-stressful daily routines. In short, it can make every day an emotional/psychological ordeal, unless the mental turmoil is doused with some form of self-medicating.

    I believe the wellbeing of all children — and not just what other parents’ children might/will cost us as future criminals or costly cases of government care, etcetera — should be of great importance to us all, regardless of whether we’re doing a great job with our own developing children. But I’m not holding my breath, as I’ve found that most people are pessimistic and/or hostile towards such concepts. (To many people, they sound too much like socialism or communism.)

    Really, a psychologically and emotionally sound (as well as a physically healthy) future should be every child’s foremost right, especially considering the very troubled world into which they never asked to enter.

    “It has been said that if child abuse and neglect were to disappear today, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual would shrink to the size of a pamphlet in two generations, and the prisons would empty. Or, as Bernie Siegel, MD, puts it, quite simply, after half a century of practicing medicine, ‘I have become convinced that our number-one public health problem is our childhood’.” —Childhood Disrupted, pg.228.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are welcome, and thank you for your informative article.
    When I read such essays, I can’t help wondering, how many instances there have been wherein immense long-term suffering by children of dysfunctional rearing might have been prevented had the parent(s) received, as high school students, some crucial child development science education by way of mandatory curriculum? (After all, dysfunctional and/or abusive parents, for example, may not have had the chance to be anything else due to their lack of such education and their own dysfunctional/abusive rearing as children.)

    Regarding very-early-life trauma, people tend to know (perhaps commonsensically) that they should not loudly quarrel when, for instance, a baby is in the next room; however, do they know about the intricacies of why not? Since it cannot fight or flight, a baby stuck in a crib on its back hearing parental discord in the next room can only “move into a third neurological state, known as a ‘freeze’ state … This freeze state is a trauma state” (Childhood Disrupted, pg.123). This causes its brain to improperly develop.
    Also, how many non-academics are aware that it’s the unpredictability of a stressor, and not the intensity, that does the most harm? When the stressor “is completely predictable, even if it is more traumatic — such as giving a [laboratory] rat a regularly scheduled foot shock accompanied by a sharp, loud sound — the stress does not create these exact same [negative] brain changes.” (pg.42)
    I did not know any of the above until I heavily researched the topic for specifics.

    Thanks again.


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