During a conversation with a male friend about relationships, he enlightened me about the reasons why women of color are experiencing difficultly finding a partner. He claims that most women of color lack three important quailites.
- Women of color are not fit ( meaning we don’t take care of out bodies according to the standards of the male gaze).
- Women of color don’t believe in submission ( meaning they don’t believe in a man having control over their lives and that women only care about themselves rather than foucsing on the needs of their man).
- Finally, women of color are not friendly ( meaning we don’t smile. Example, if a brother ask a sister to smile the response is usually ” I don’t have to smile” making her unfriendly and approachable).
He continued to say that men are not attracted to women who are aggressive and masculine, instead they want women who are feminine and submissive. I listened as he educated me about conceited women of color with bad attitudes, fluanting their independence, and willingness to live life, and not settle for less than what they feel they deserve, often setting standards on a level that is unachievable for most men.
My phone rang and I was happy for the excuse to escape the conversation. It’s not that I don’t think that there might be some truth about what he said, but I couldn’t help thinking, why is the burden always placed on women?
Anyway, it will be interesting to see what you have to say.
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