Victim I am Not

Dear Readers,

Lately, I’ve been thinking that maybe I should rethink what it means to be a victim. Let me explain, once upon a time about 26 years, I escaped a violent marriage, and before that at the age of 18, I was abandoned by my son’s father. There was a time in my life I spent years experimenting with drugs and heavy drinking, but I got clean and sober. While I was going through years of therapy and the healing process, I was told by the professionals, that I was a victim of domestic volience, a victim of drug abuse and I was victimized by my son’s father, and all of these experiences resulted in me being a survivor.

So, each time I told my story I used the words victim or survivor. Recently, I began to think about what being a victim means to me. I admit that I did survive all of the previous mentioned experiences and not only did I survive, but I thrived, and learned valuable lessons from each experience, no matter how painful and that’s putting it nicely. But the knowledge made me stronger, and helped me to mature into a emotionally balanced person.

I don’t want to think of myself as a victim or survivor, but a conqueror. I admit that there were times in my life when I felt so low and broken that I didn’t think I could ever make a come back. I did more than make a come back, I soared past the limitations that was placed on me.

Unlike the individuals who consider themselves victims or survivors, I do not carry battle scares and my wounds have healed years ago. I stop volunteering to speak about the years of mental, verbal, and emotional abuse by my Ex. And, I am happy to report that my son has matured into am amazing man of valor. Lately, I dare not go back to abusing myself with alcohol because I like being sober.

I once was a victim, but I survived, thrived, overcame, and conquered. We should be careful when labeling individuals a victim. If people continue to hear the word victim, they may never understand that beginning a victim isn’t forever, and that being a survivor means they want to be a conqueror, and not relive what made them a victim.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

4 thoughts on “Victim I am Not

  1. I love this post! Seems as though you & I relate in many ways. I too (years ago as a teen) decided not only would I no longer would I allow myself to be victimized, nor label myself as a victim. I personally feel that had I allowed myself to remain a victim, I was also allowing the people who hurt me to keep that power. I hope that makes sense. I don’t want to offend anyone, It’s simply a passionate subject. Not for me necessarily but for those like my step sister who remained a victim of domestic abuse resulting in her death. I appreciate you sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reading and for sharing your experience. I too was almost going to stay in a very abusive relationship. I am thankful for the people that was sent to help me. I pray for the ones who are still trapped and the ones who don’t make it out. Domestic volience is Real.

      Liked by 1 person

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