
Dear Readers,
Remember the saying,” home is where the heart is?” This is what I was thinking during my five day tour across America. Let me explain. I have two routines I am accustomed to performing in the morning and evening, the way I start and end my day truly makes a difference. I do not like chaos or noise to greet me in the morning. I like taking my time sipping coffee, reading a daily meditation and reviewing my daily To Do List. In the evening I enjoy quiet time. I don’t talk on the phone, I am employed as an ESL teacher engaging in conversation throughout the day. I frown at loud music or playing the Television at a volume that gives me a headache. I see evenings at home time to unwind and shake off the business of the day. I usually have a light dinner, maybe watch a movie, look over my weekly calendar, and have a cup of my favorite tea Earl grey.
During my five day drive across the country all of this changed and I found myself out of balance and becoming irritated by my road partner who interfered with my daily routines.
My journey across the country was an amazing adventure, but I didn’t foresee the clash of personalities. My road partner is a talented musician and actor who since the age of 17 have lived the lifestyle of a spoiled rock star. He knows nothing about morning or evening rituals, he only knows one speed fast, and he likes everything loud. His theory is if you can’t feel it, what’s the point?
On our second morning when I was taking longer than he thought was necessary to get back on the road he would pace the floor of our hotel room and repeatedly ask me if I was ready to go. His plan was to see as much as we could at each destination, and still cover 400 miles per day. At the end of each day he would throw himself in bed and turn on the Television blasting the volume disturbing my tea and quiet time. Once the volume was so loud the front desk called to say that the other guests were complaining.
By day four I was so frizzled because I was used to centering myself before each day and evening, and I found I wasn’t enjoying being in his company, thus making the second half of our tour across America less enjoyable. Our final destination was his home in Southern California. During the last 400 miles of our journey I began to feel uneasy about the plan to stay in California for three days before returning to New York City. I envisioned myself there in his house, loud Tv and rock music banging in my head and he is a person who does not like to be asked to lower the volume. After crossing 10 states we arrived at his home. I immediately searched for a flight leaving early Friday morning, but no luck. I was trapped there until Saturday. When I told him that I planned to return home early he was shocked and When he asked why, I told him the truth.
He apologized and explained to me that he truly did not understand how important my morning and evening routine are to me. I decided to change my flight plans to stay longer. I do take some of the blame because I should have had a conversation with him before the journey. Although we have been friends for over twenty years, we have never been in such a close situation. I think we both learned something from this experience.

Travelling well together definitely requires patience and understanding, especially for long distance travel. We did over 17,000 km (10,500 miles) across Canada and back in 2018 and without longer breaks, it would have been a challenge. Stay well and enjoy the travel. Allan
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Wow. What a long trip. This was my first long distance trip. My friend and road warrior is the best person to travel with when it comes to driving. Now that we have a clear understanding we will travel again next year. We want to do all the southern states.
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Sounds aweosme!
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Communication is very important. You always have to let the other person know you’re likes and dislikes.
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That made me laugh. Television and music volume is always a potential for strong disagreement and long journeys are testing whoever you are with. He must be a good friend to understand when you explained.
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Yes, he is a good friend and not an unreasonable person. He was deeply sorry
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I like my slow mornings too. šā
I’m glad you were able to have a respectful conversation with your friend about your differing styles. It’s a true friendship when you can be honest and both grow rather than ending up with conflict.
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Yes, we are very close friends. And I was thankful we were able to remain in the friendship that’s lasted for 20 years.
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