Holding grudges leads to a life of unforgiveness and tragic loss. We are told that forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves because forgiveness frees a person from the burden of carrying the weight of unresolved anger.
Some times a grudge starts out as a minor misunderstanding, but overtime because of blame and actuations, a grudge becomes blown out of proportion, thus the individuals involved tend to forget the original reason why the lines of communication were broken. The emotional burden of holding grudges run deep and the lasting trauma doesn’t only effect the people involved, but the others connected to the individuals who started the grudge.
The relationships, friendships and families torn apart because of freud’s started by a grudge sometimes lasts a lifetime. Regardless of why the grievance began the question is what purpose does holding a grudge serve, and who benefits from the feelings of deep resentment and unresolved issues? While writing this post I wondered how can I present examples of disastrous outcomes of holding a grudge. So, I decided to let history be our best teacher. Do you recall the famous Hatfield & Mc Coy feud dated 1863-1891, 30 years, 13 deaths, why, there was a claim of a stolen pig. Now, you might be asking yourself, why didn’t they just solve the problem by giving back the pig, easy right, Wrong. This grudge wasn’t that simple, the story of the stolen pig was a cover up. A historical fact, revealed that there was a difference in confederate beliefs. Regardless, to what the truth is 30 years of fueding fueled by a grudge of an unknown source caused pain, death and emotional suffering.
We all know the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet young lovers caught between a family feud that resulted in their death. The families finally reconciled and recognized that their decision to hold onto an ancient grudge started by their ancestors was the catalyst behind Romeo and Juliet choosing death over life.
These two examples of how holding a grudge and the destructive consequences because people were unwilling to use logic and consider how ignorance and selfishness of how a minor misunderstanding slowly progressed to an extreme infraction.Think for a moment about the people who hold grudges until death regretting they lost the chance to mend the relationship because they made
the decision to stand firm in the belief that they were right and the other party is wrong.
Holding a grudge isn’t about waiting for someone to be the bigger person, and step up admitting they are wrong allowing the other person to feel validated. Holding a grudge means that there will not be a winner or looser just individuals holding their peace wanting to be right. So, I have a suggestion since we are in the Christmas season followed by the New Year, this is a perfect time to take steps to let go of grudges, time to mend broken relationships, friendships, and family ties.
Consider this after experiencing being sheltered in place, cut off from physical contact with family and friends, relationship and marriage broken because of the stress of the pandemic, and two years of death, economic disaster, and the threat of yet another virus. Let go and reach, let by-gones be just that, healing from a grudge just might be the best healing medicine. So, why are you holding a grudge?
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