A Moment of Shame

Dear Readers,

Question, why is the Black community taking sides in support of Will Smith and Jada for that shameful moment during the Oscars? First, did anybody paid attention to the fact that African Americans made history on Sunday, March 27, during the 94th Oscars, how, the presence of Latin and African American population was dominant. Will Smith’s behavior is a slap in the face for the men and women who battled through slavery, segregation, Jim Crow, beatings, lynching’s, and having to go through back doors. Why, so Black people can stand, sit and walk where we are today, and to be acknowledged for our creativity in a society that views people of color as less than deserving because of the color of our skin or gender.

People are claiming that Will Smith behavior is justified because he was defending his Queen. No, because a true Queen would have held him back. A true Queen would have laughed it off and dealt with the situation in private. A true Queen does not allow her king to disgrace his name and reputation. Let’s role back the video tape of time, Jada P. Smith is a home wrecker who in recent years has began dismantling and attacking her husband’s manhood. A true Queen stay loyal to her king, she does not roll around in the gutter lowering herself to the standard of a side chick. The Smith family thrives on displaying how dysfunctional and grimy they live. People are saying that Chris Rock attached Jada because she is struggling with alopecia; were they listening he made no reference to her hair or health condition. I say and stand firm that Chris Rock should not have attached another man’s wife, that slap wasn’t about what Chris Rock said, it was about Will Smith’s emotional and mental state and that moment was supposed to belong to him, not to his wick Queen sitting on her throne of manipulation.The black community should be condemning Will Smith for his actions not taking sides.


During the Trump administration the world witnessed the attacks on the black community.The beatings and cold murdering of black men and women painful reminders of how little this world’s cares about the plight of black people. Will Smith publicly attacked another Black man. We need to address this situation for what is, it wasn’t a moment of rage or weakness, It was act of violence. The public cry is that ” black lives matter,” but do black lives matter to black people? I purposely watch the Ocsars to see Will Smith have his moment. He was chosen to play the role of Richard Dove Williams, a black man and father who put his childrens’ lives first. I wanted to see Will Smith, the actors and gentleman walk on that stage and take his rightful place again in Our History, Black History, like those before him. Sidney Poitier, Hattie Mc Daniel, James Earl Jones, Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Laurence Fishburne, Jamie Foxx, Terrence Howard, Forest Whitaker, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Chadwick Bostic.

In the movie industry black men in the past were casted as gang members, drug addicts and dealers, and sex feans. However, brave men like Denzel Washington, Dwayne Johnson, Tyler Perry, and the Wayne brothers just to name a few have demonstrated to young black men positive role models. Will Smith’s actions at the Oscars portrayed a real-life event that was once played out in the movies. He become the angry black man. Question, Will do you know how to draw the line between your role as an actor and real life?

Instead of grace and celebrate we were treated to a clown show. I am ashamed, heartbroken, and disappointed. And to add insult to injury the Smiths want to bring the topic to the Red Table. Hello, can somebody tell them the damage is done. The Black community should stand firm and demand excellence from the people who represent us. There is no amount of tears that can erase that moment. It was disgraceful. No apology can soothe this open wound. We forgive, let go and move on, but the world will never let us forget how one black man had one job and that was to maintain his cool and he failed.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

Who’s Talking To Who

Dear Readers, Hello, Hello, Welcome to another juicy topic with Dragthepen.

Today’s topics: COMMUNICATION. 

Call it what you like, talking, conversations, discussion chatting, gossiping, or having a dialogue. I say, PEOPLE ARE NOT HAVING MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS ANYMORE. There seems to be more ways to communicate due to the improvements in technology, but is this really communicating in a meaningful manner?

Webster’s dictionary defines communication as:  a process by which information, thoughts, feelings  is exchanged between individuals. Okay fair enough, however what I am referring to is the lack of meaningful exchange of ideas, information, thoughts and feelings. 

Some people hide behind social media sending instant messages, texting, emails, recording messages, voice message and videos, replacing face to face in person connection. How much of the meaningful exchange of ideas can we when sending text or IM. How many times have you had to call someone because they took your text, email or IM out of context? 

Relationships and communication are getting more complicated than they need to be. Some relationship experts advise women that if a man is only texting her and not calling this means he is not into her or he is married or has a girlfriend. I have observed people out on dates, girls and guys night out checking their cell phones, or interrupting dinner because of that important call they have to take. Oh, let’s not forget the Emoji using symbols, pictures and characters to express emotions. And here is the big one no one is spelling words completely: smh, lol, thx, wud, lmao, bff, rofl, lqtm, haha, brb, btw, eod, such a meaningful way to communicate, when the person has to text back what does that mean? When children and teens use their short cuts what they are doing is undermining their ability to express themselves in full sentences. 

Communication in the workplace is being reduced to sending emails, text messages, and since the pandemic we’ve become accustomed to zoom meetings that reconnecting  in person meeting as a team is becoming a thing of the past. What’s meeting in the zoom meeting is the camaraderie and in interpersonal relationship building. People talk to each other in passing shouting call me and let’s meet up, phone conversations are brief because people claim  to have a million things to do and being on the phone is preventing them from accomplishing their goals. Remember that song by the Godfather of soul, Talking Loud and Sayin ‘Nothing: Take a look around and you will notice that there is a lot of talking going on, but what are people really saying?

In the homes conversations have become non-in void. 

between partners. 

“ how was your day”? 

Reply, “ it was ok” 

“ what did you do”

 Reply, “ nothing much”

Or something like this 

“ how was your day”?

Reply, “ over and I don’t want to talk about it. I am tired and want to be left along”

 Conversation between children and parents

“ how was your day”?

reply , “ it was ok”

“ what did you do”

Reply, “ nothing much” 

Wives are not allowed to talk to husbands while they are  watching Television and at night no talking in the bedroom because one spouse claims to be too exhausted to talk. In the morning everyone is in such a rush to get to work or school that they don’t make time to say something kind to each other. How many times have we heard people who have left home and met with an unfortunate incident and the other spouse says, “I didn’t even tell him or her that I love her or him this morning”. Or “the last word I had with them was harsh.”

I don’t mean to rant. My goal is to bring awareness to how people take talking or the lack of meaningful conversations for granted. Some of my most cherished memories are the stories that my grandmother, father, Aunts and uncles passed on. They had meaning and were worth listening to.  We all have that one person who is no longer with us that we wish we could talk to. 

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation? 

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen.

The Lost Foundation of the Family

Dear Readers, Hope all is well with you. It’s March Women’s herstory month, a time to honor women past, present and future for their sacrifice, voices, and contributions that has made it possible for women to be heard, achieve and to be seen.  

Today’s topic is about Family. People say that family is blood, but  sometimes this is not always the case. Some people argue that the original make up of  the family is a man and woman who come together ❤ and produce children allowing generations to live on. It’s ok to have your opinion about who makes a family. I am concerned about the lost foundation of  the family because  Families that have been divided, broken and destroyed causing us to live in an imbalanced society.  

My siblings and myself  have had the good fortune to be raised at a time when two parent homes were the norm with the support of extended family members. And I  like to add that the ” village we were raised by ” children of my generation had to respect the adults in that village without question. People say that ” family is every ” or ” without family a person has nothing.” If these sayings are true then why are Families struggling to stay together? 

Over the years I’ve often wondered what  happened to the foundation of family? And why are there others who are creating their version of family? Why is one parent households increasing, grandparents raising grandparents children, and children raising children without the support of family. Fathers walking away from family, mother’s pushing husbands out the door; and baby mamas fighting for child support. Broken marriage due to husbands and wives having  one foot inside the home and the foot outside. Families have been destroyed by lies, secrets, grudges, and competition between the haves and have nots.

Mother’s want to be their children’s best friends trying to relive their youth, instead of  nurturing, guiding, protecting their children. Fathers are fascinated with  new rides and spend weekends glued to their wide screen television watching sports, allowing the burden of raising the children to fall on a frustrated mother. This is a recipe for failure and chaos in the home.

Children of this generation are allowed to roam the streets with no curfew. I shake my head and reflect back to how I was raised. People from my generation understood what time it was when the street light came on. Children of this generation talk back to their elders, and engage in physical fights with family members calling the cops because society has given them the power over their guardians.

Shall I go on? 

Family gatherings are not what they used to be because of the rivalry between family members, so somebody isn’t going to receive an invitation. Here is the best one: families who unite at funerals making big speeches vowing to do better and mend the division in the family. We all know that this is just a big show and people are either depressed by the death of a loved one or had one too many drinks at the repass.

I think by now you understand where I am going with this. My intention is to bring awareness about the lost foundation of the family as a social issue because when a family becomes broken it leaves a wound in a society that is already bearing the scars of a population of emotionally wounded people lost and feeling hopeless and disconnected.  

 There you have it, my thoughts on the lost foundation of the family.

Thankyou for stopping by dragthepen