#Pay Attention

Dear Readers

Pay attention to how friends, family and co-workers treat you. Example, I have stopped answering calls, emails and text from individuals who contact me when they are in need of my skills, knowledge and resources. HOWEVER, when I call upon these same individuals, I hear voicemails or they reply to my text a week later using the lame excuse, ” I just saw your text and I am sorry but…”

IF any of my readers know me WHEN I call for help there is a serious need. I hold no grudes or anger towards anyone. I am putting this out there for people who are feeling frustrated, used, neglected and a disconnect by individuals who seek to use them as a means to their end.

Take a moment and pay attention to the patterns of how you open the door and allow individuals to mistreat and take advantage of your kindness.

Thank you for stopping by drathepen.

The Little Things are the Best.

Dear Readers, the little things may not be so little after all. Let me explain. 

Yesterday, Saturday, March 18, 2023, was the first time in 9 months that I was able to have some downtime and peace. The turbulence started in May of last year. I adopted a three-week-old puppy and in July changed careers at the age of 58, in addition to taking courses online. You know the saying that “change is good.” However, I experienced three different shifts at the same time and it’s been a real struggle. Looking back, I realized that I was not ready to take on a puppy, new position, while attending college.

Fast Forward…… Here I am 9 months later, Peanut my Rat terrier, broke his leg that cost $$$$$$, he has healed. I was in my new position as a case manager for transitional housing and within the first 4 months I was promoted to a supervisory position, yet another change. I can’t begin to explain the drudgery of coming home after a full day’s work to take care of a fur baby and college assignments this schedule has left me physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. 

I have been running on empty so to speak sometimes 7 days a week. Gone are the glory days of sleeping late and enjoying coffee in bed. My schedule revolves around my little buddy Peanut and school assignments. I felt like I was becoming unglued if you know what I mean. After talking to other dog owners, they suggested doggie day care. I searched and searched but none fit my schedule until I came across Rover.com. I found a dog sitter close to my house (11 minutes away). Saturday was his first day. He was picked up at 9am and dropped off at 5pm. 

I had an entire 8 hours to myself. I enjoyed a good breakfast, quickly vacuumed the house and took a two-hour nap, then enjoyed another meal. Peanut returned home to a rested fur mommy and a clean house, in addition to his favorite food meatballs and spaghetti. We will continue the personalized dog sitting service for at least two days during the week. We both could use a break from each other, and Peanut is being socialized with other dogs. The best part of is that I have found a solution to have alone time and at the same time giving Peanut what he needs. It is the little things that add quality to our lives. Things like, 

1. Sleeping late

2. Taking a nap

3. Eating a delicious meal undisputed

4. Quiet time

5. In my case enjoying coffee in bed

Think of the little things that matter in our life and find a way to include them in your life daily.

Let’s Have that Conversation.

Dear Readers

A few words from Dragthepen

What do you do when you’re feeling sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed, hopeless, depressed, lonely, heartbroken, grieving through emotional brokenness, confusion, and experiencing crying spells? Sounds Familiar? 

I have news for you: these are human emotions and it’s ok for you to take time to work through them. What’s not ok is abusing others because you’re in pain. May I suggest that you take a moment to breathe, reflect, and add Self Care during your temporary moment of emotional or mental breakdown. 

Stop being hard on yourself and understand that you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Oh, by the way, do not allow others to tell you that “you’re strong and you can make it through” these are words that people who are struggling through a temporary breakdown do not need to hear. What they need is s nonjudgmental shoulder to cry, a good listener, space, and some quiet time.   

SELF CARE IS THE BEST CARE BECAUSE YOU MATTER.

The Masquerade

Dear Readers,

A few words from drathepen

Am I the only one who feels that it is shameful that society supports and praise some women who feel that the only quality they have to offer men is their bodies. Women are carving themselves up in the name of vanity and the practice of modesty is no longer respected. Nowadays, it’s about what women are willing to show and how much. Beauty in the kingdom of women is measured by body parts meaning, breast, buttock, and lips size, in addition to the other accessories, fake hair, nails, eye lashes, and tons of makeup this has become the norm. And elegance is determined by tight transparent clothing, cleavage, and BBL’s.

I just have one question. why? 

Happy Women’s History Month 

The Desires of a Womans Heart

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Dear readers, a few words to the ladies

Women should not be passive but be an active participant when seeking a partner. I am not a relationship expert, psychologist nor do I have answers to fixing relationship problems. dragthepen is an open platform to discuss issues that impact our relationships. With that said, ladies when choosing a partner and noticed I didn’t say husband. Here are a few tips to keep in mind. First, you don’t have to settle. Settling is for women who have given up on who she deserves and takes the cluncker behind door number two and live a life of regret.

Deep in a women heart she desires:

A partner who understands the value of working together for a successful partnership.

A partner who sees her as she is and not who he wants her to be (this is what happens when you settle).

A partner who believes in her goals and vision and is willing to be supportive, proud and patient.

A partner who doesn’t burden her with his emotional baggage and want her to be a therapist.

A partner who doesn’t treat her like his personal maid, cook, and a sexual object.

A partner who understands a womans need for alone time.

A partner who doesn’t asked to go 50/50 on the bills ( ladies that’s called a roommate and a free lay).

Women desire to have a partners they can confident in and not have past experiences or mistakes thrown in her face. Women are tired of litte boys and want men who are emotional mature, stable and is open and ready for a monogamous relationship. Women want a partner who is willing to tell the truth even if it’s going to hurt. A man who knows how to hold her hand when the tears are flowing and embrace her when the world comes crashing down.

Ladies seek a partner who understands that compassion, truth, loyalty, communication, cooperation, support, understanding, patience, and team work will win your heart.

Ladies leave those players, pretender, representatives and visitors alone.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

Self-care matters because you matter

Hello Readers. 

This year dragthepen will host various discussions about Self Care. Why? Because you matter. Your life matters and the quality of your daily life should matter to you. 

Self Care: should not be treated as a luxury but as a necessity daily practice that helps to rejuvenate a person’s holistic well being. In other words, your daily practice of self care should be a combination of relaxing and meditative activities that treat your mental health, your soul, the essence of your core of spiritual soul, activities that strengthen your body and final activities that promote a good emotional balance. 

Daily self care should not be an occasional trip to the nail salon or weekly happy hour or that once a year vacation. A daily practice of self care in this hectic society should include awareness of our eating habits, sleep patterns, exercise, how much television we watch and the content of what we are watching. 

Question, what does yourself care practice look like in your home? Are you teaching your children how to be kind to themselves and not allow society to shape their thinking with distorted images of who they should be? Husbands, wives, partners, brothers, sisters, mother, daughters, father and sons, what do you do when you notice that your loved one is exhausted, emotionally broken, repeating harmful patterns in their life? We have to teach each other about the power of self-reflection and self care and knowing when it is time to step back, breathe, slow down and push the reset button.

We have been taught that we are our brothers and sisters’ keepers, but we are living in a society where we look the other way when those we claim to love and hold in high esteem need a lesson in self care. This conversation will continue.  

Let’s make self care a daily practice and not an occasional treat. 

Thak you for stopping by Dragthepen

SELF CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Readers. This year I will be discussing various aspects of self-care and mental health.

Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.com

People say that ” self-care is the best care”. I say, we in a society where we don’t have meaningful conversations about and how to enforce self-care thus taking supporting our mental health on a daily basis. We talk about mental health and protecting our peace, but how can we protect our peace when we lack good self-care practices? 

What is your mental health worth to you? Think about some of these points while you’re grinding yourself into exhaustion and developing poor eating and sleep habits. 

Do you lack a productive social life and I am not referring to Happy Hour. Is family time something you avoid or take time to plan for the wellbeing of your family’s emotional and mental health? 

How many people reading this will admit that they are overwhelmed at home and overworked at the job. 

You feel drained, angry, have become an emotional eater, gain weight, lost weight due to stress, and are short tempered.

Have you allowed your mental and emotional health to suffer due to remaining in dysfunction relationships? When I say relationships, this includes intimate situations, family, and friends.

People bottom line we all need down time, alone time, spa day, a weekend getaway, and a night out on the town. We need to laugh more, increase our listening skills, and practice disconnecting  from technology and all social media, and have old fashion conversations. 

I am going to leave that right there. Throughout 2023 I will be offering suggestions like, good books to read on self-care, reminding you to step back and take some down time and more topics on the importance of good self-care and mental health practice.  

A Women’s Worth

Dear Readers,

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

Happy New Year.

We need to stop applauding women for being exhausted due to forsaking self-care and their mental and emotional health, while supporting families, working outside the home and wearing multiple hats. I don’t believe in the myth of superwomen. Society is overwhelmed with women who are physically drained, suffering from health issues, emotionally empty, depressed, oppressed, feeling trapped and ignored. Women are told that women complain too much and are never satisfied. Women give so much and get little in return. 

Tis The Season

Dear Readers,

Tis the season to stand in long lines and count to ten before losing patience 

To purchase overpriced airlines tickets, but it worth the smiles, kisses, and hugs 

To get tipsy on purpose

To be the receiver and not the giver

To forgive grudges

To overspend, overeat, bake cookies, trim the tree, and watch Charlie Brown Christmas 

Tis the season for the Nutcracker and listening to Nat King Cole sing classic Christmas songs

To watch sappy Christmas movies and take part in ugly sweater contest

To reminisce about Christmas past, present and anticipate the future

Tis the season to share with people who are less fortunate 

To gather from near and far, to worship, to laugh at family photos and to make new memories, and passed down recipes

To make a snowman and snow angels, To in from the cold for hot chocolate 

Tis the season to believe in miracles 

To slow down and reflect because  

You’ve made it through another year even if it by the hem of a string

Tis the season to be grateful 

A Few Words.

DEAR Readers,

When a woman says, ” she doesn’t want a man in her life” that’s not an open door for people to throw shade, condemn or label her a lesbian. You have not lived her life nor her experiences. She might be on a path of healing and self-discovery. So, before you become judge and jury respect and honor the fact that these women choose to remove herself from dysfunctional men so she can be all she can be for herself. Respect the journey.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen