Introduction from my new book, “The Waiting Game” by J. R. Floyd

Setting the Stage

It is said that if you stop looking for love it will come to you, and if you love someone,
set him free; if the relationship is meant to be, he will come back. Well, in my case, this saying
is a myth. I am a 52-year-old mother of one and grandmother of three. I had one short horrible
marriage and several hit- and -run relationships.

I thought that I once had the love of my life, but he ran for the hills when I mentioned
marriage. I found out that most of my lovers moved on to get married and live happy lives.
What is so painful about reliving these memories is that none of these men thought that I was
wife material or good enough to be the mother of his children.
There is something very evil and disturbing about men who will have sex with you, lie to
you, play you like a fiddle, while closing the door in your face.

I had a few of them come back, but I was not smart enough to understand that I was
just a layover before they moved on again. What is it about me that either scares men away,
attracts losers, or beckons to men who simply don’t get me?
Most of them came with too many requirements and baggage: baggage in the form of
ex-wives who had not moved on, or ex- girlfriends who have not really become exes. In each
relationship, I was expected to change and make adjustments, compromise, give up, give in
until I gave out. I was not sexy enough; I did not dress sluttily enough to suit their taste, I was
too conservative, too aggressive, and too smart. I did not give enough of myself in bed; in other
words, I was not freaky enough.

I played different roles in these relationships. For the men who refused to grow up and
cut the apron strings, I had to mother them. Oh, and the children; no, not my son, their
children. I was the free babysitter so they could go out and hang with the boys.
My biggest role–playing wife without the ring or marriage license. When I think about
all the time I wasted cooking, cleaning, washing and organizing their sad lives, all in the name of
L.O.V.E, I realized that Tina Turner was right: love had nothing to do with what I was going
through. It was all for the sole purpose of their self-gratification. Moreover, in the end I was left
emotionally confused, physically exhausted, mentally disturbed, and financially broken- exactly
what they wanted.

More myths: you are still young, it is not too late, he is out there for you, and you just
have not met him yet. Why do people tell you this when deep down inside what they really
want to say is, “ Girl, hang up your dating boots, your prince isn’t coming, settle for that frog,’
because at this stage of the game you have to take what you can get; or settle for what’s
behind door number three.”Drum roll please…. and behind door number three we present Miss Lonely. Yes, most women fear being alone, because we have been told being alone is BAD.

Yes, the defect is always with us. It goes something like this: I am alone because I am a
nag, hard to get along with, too needy, too fat, too thin, too broke, or too independent.
I am selfish, bossy, noisy, fussy, and refuse to have sex 10 times a day. I am too trusting
or not trusting enough. Oh, here is the climax: it is my fault that I have been replaced with a
better woman. But no, I am not another angry woman, as I have been labeled. I am a woman
who has arrived at the end of these experiences finally understanding who I am, where I am
going, and knowing how I am going to get there, and what I will and will not put up with and
why. My story is about ignoring the warning signs, such as, when it is time to get out of an
abusive relationship. A reminder: abuse does not have to be physical to leave scars. I had to
learn how to put the brakes on, make a U-turn, and haul ass in the opposite direction when the
drama got too deep.

This is about not lowering standards by accepting the behavior of a serial cheater. By
doing so, we women put our health in danger by continuing to have sexual intercourse with
him: all because women are told this is all a part of what men do. Well, A.I.D.S kills and herpes
is for life, and do you really want to stay with a man who has been labeled community
property?

This is about all the bad relationship myths that are damaging to women’s self-esteem
and self- respect and undermine us a woman. This is about living in a society where the double
standard motto that “Boys will be Boys” is an accepted norm, while women are expected to put
out and shut up.

To the men who have the great fortune and guts to read this book, it is about your
understanding that men can be broken, needy, and have parts of them that need to be fixed
too. Stop measuring your worth by your penis and start thinking with your brain about the
quality of emotional stability, respect, caring, and love that you can give to your partner.

A final note: Men, stop being selfish; a relationship is not all about you. Women, stop
talking to your girlfriends, your mother, his mother, and talk to him, God, or a therapist.
When entering into a relationship, both men and women need to think about what they
are doing and why. Nobody likes a player and games are for social activities, not a relationship.

What Say You?

TWG Cover

And the Award Go To…..

Dear Readers,  I am excited! This is my first chance at being nominated for an award. I enjoy being apart of this blogging  community.  So here it goes. a deep application to Steven & Muffin from stevescountry.com

 

The Rules are:
1. Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you.
2. Share 11 facts about yourself.
3. Answer the 11 questions the blogger(s) asked you.
4. Nominate 11 bloggers and make them happy!!
5. Make up to 11 questions and ask them to your nominees!
6. Notify your 11 nominees.

11 facts about me:

  1. I am the last teacher that I now that ask students to practice writing their essay using pencil and paper versus typing them on the computer.
  2. I love, Love, love coffee, but I am only allowed two cups per day.
  3. I am the 7th child of 12 children,  a twin and first born girl.
  4. I was high school drop out entered college at the age of  28 years old, I am not 55.
  5. I love black jelly beans
  6. I collect shot glasses from each place I travel
  7. I am not a morning person unless I am on vacation
  8. I have a desire to appear on TED TALK
  9. I like hot greasy French fries and pretzels
  10. I read at least 60 minutes each day
  11. the best time of the year form me is my birthday, fall because I love the color changes and summer, because I don’t have to wear close in shoes

Now to answer the ii question asked by Steve from stevescountry.com

  1. Do you enjoy eating at restaurants? I do but a home cooked meal is better.
  2. What is your favorite restaurant? I tend to stick to the ones that I have had good experiences like, Gee Whiz, a local diner, Mary Ann’s a great Mexican place. I like the Olive Garden and the Salads at Applebee’s
  3. How often do you eat out/order in?  I treat myself to a good lunch Bi-weekly and dinner maybe one a month. Don’t do take out much..
  4. What is your all time favorite food? I enjoy a god plate of Paste, no meat just great sauce.
  5. Is there a vegetable you don’t like? Brussels sprouts, asparagus, and green peas
  6. If you had to move to another country, which would you choose? Brazil
  7. What is your favorite flower? Orchids, it was the first flower my father gave me
  8. What is the color of your eyes? Brown
  9. Do you like snakes? Never had an encounter with one to say if I like them or not
  10. Were you born in the country where you now live? I was born in Lyone GA. I live in the Big Apple, New York, but I have learned to live in the outer boroughs away from the noise and crowds.
  11. Do you enjoy answering questions? Yes, I do this gives me a chance to allow people to know a little more about who I am.

Next step in this process I am to nominate 11 blogger:

1.Carl D’Agostino from ” I know I made you Smile”

2. Cigarman501 ” Ravings of a Mad Southerner

3. “Seanarchy.worpress ”

4. Odedi’s Wine Review, Winesipping.wordpress

5. Michael S. Fedison, “The Eye dancers.wordpress.com”

6. Perfect Love-Rojoicing in Hope. ” rejoicinginhope1212.wordpress.com”

7. Americaoncoffee.wordpress.com

8. Bloggraphytoo.photo.blog

9. wordfandom.wordpress.com

10. Williamjfulton.com

11. Ashalvesblog.wodpress.com

my 11 question to my nominees

What was the best year of your life and what happened?

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

If your retired what is the next move in your life?

How often do you have to time to read?

Do you enjoy cooking?

How much Television do you watch?

Do you live in the Country or city?

Which do you prefer, Soda, tea, coffee, wine, or beer?

Are you in your chosen career?

If you had one thing to do over what would it be and why?

What would award mean to you?

ok. good luck.

Dragthepen

 

 

 

 

” The Waiting Game” by J. R. Floyd

Setting the Stage

Dear readers,

It is said that if you stop looking for love it will come to you, and if you love someone,
set him free; if the relationship is meant to be, he will come back. Well, in my case, this saying
is a myth. I am a 52-year-old mother of one and grandmother of three. I had one short horrible
marriage and several hit- and -run relationships.
I thought that I once had the love of my life, but he ran for the hills when I mentioned
marriage. I found out that most of my lovers moved on to get married and live happy lives.
What is so painful about reliving these memories is that none of these men thought that I was
wife material or good enough to be the mother of his children.
There is something very evil and disturbing about men who will have sex with you, lie to
you, play you like a fiddle, while closing the door in your face.
I had a few of them come back, but I was not smart enough to understand that I was
just a layover before they moved on again. What is it about me that either scares men away,
attracts losers, or beckons to men who simply don’t get me?
Most of them came with too many requirements and baggage: baggage in the form of
ex-wives who had not moved on, or ex- girlfriends who have not really become exes. In each
relationship, I was expected to change and make adjustments, compromise, give up, give in
until I gave out. I was not sexy enough; I did not dress sluttily enough to suit their taste, I was
too conservative, too aggressive, and too smart. I did not give enough of myself in bed; in other
words, I was not freaky enough.
I played different roles in these relationships. For the men who refused to grow up and
cut the apron strings, I had to mother them. Oh, and the children; no, not my son, their
children. I was the free babysitter so they could go out and hang with the boys.
My biggest role–playing wife without the ring or marriage license. When I think about
all the time I wasted cooking, cleaning, washing and organizing their sad lives, all in the name of
L.O.V.E, I realized that Tina Turner was right: love had nothing to do with what I was going
through. It was all for the sole purpose of their self-gratification. Moreover, in the end I was left
emotionally confused, physically exhausted, mentally disturbed, and financially broken- exactly
what they wanted.
More myths: you are still young, it is not too late, he is out there for you, and you just
have not met him yet. Why do people tell you this when deep down inside what they really
want to say is, “ Girl, hang up your dating boots, your prince isn’t coming, settle for that frog,’
because at this stage of the game you have to take what you can get; or settle for what’s
behind door number three.”
Drum roll please…. and behind door number three we present Miss Lonely. Yes, most
women fear being alone, because we have been told being alone is BAD.
Yes, the defect is always with us. It goes something like this: I am alone because I am a
nag, hard to get along with, too needy, too fat, too thin, too broke, or too independent.
I am selfish, bossy, noisy, fussy, and refuse to have sex 10 times a day. I am too trusting
or not trusting enough. Oh, here is the climax: it is my fault that I have been replaced with a
better woman. But no, I am not another angry woman, as I have been labeled. I am a woman
who has arrived at the end of these experiences finally understanding who I am, where I am
going, and knowing how I am going to get there, and what I will and will not put up with and
why. My story is about ignoring the warning signs, such as, when it is time to get out of an
abusive relationship. A reminder: abuse does not have to be physical to leave scars. I had to
learn how to put the brakes on, make a U-turn, and haul ass in the opposite direction when the
drama got too deep.
This is about not lowering standards by accepting the behavior of a serial cheater. By
doing so, we women put our health in danger by continuing to have sexual intercourse with
him: all because women are told this is all a part of what men do. Well, A.I.D.S kills and herpes
is for life, and do you really want to stay with a man who has been labeled community
property?
This is about all the bad relationship myths that are damaging to women’s self-esteem
and self- respect and undermine us a woman. This is about living in a society where the double
standard motto that “Boys will be Boys” is an accepted norm, while women are expected to put
out and shut up.
To the men who have the great fortune and guts to read this book, it is about your
understanding that men can be broken, needy, and have parts of them that need to be fixed
too. Stop measuring your worth by your penis and start thinking with your brain about the
quality of emotional stability, respect, caring, and love that you can give to your partner.
A final note: Men, stop being selfish; a relationship is not all about you. Women, stop
talking to your girlfriends, your mother, his mother, and talk to him, God, or a therapist.
When entering into a relationship, both men and women need to think about what they
are doing and why. Nobody likes a player and games are for social activities, not a relationship.

What Say You?

TWG Cover

Available on Amazon

The Wait is Over

THE WAIT IS OVER.

TWG Cover

Dear Readers:
“The Waiting Game” details the relationship myths that women hear about through the generations. Women are taught that men are not attracted to strong women, and that a woman’s primary role in society is to get the man and keep him interested. Women have to follow the rules of the game to be successful. Rule one, use prime bait. Rule two, catch the man. Rule three, keep the man no matter what characteristics he possesses. Any rules after that- the men play the rest of the game. Therefore, if this task is not completed—we fail as women.

Read this and:
Let Your Reminiscence Unfold
Enjoy,
J. R. Floyd

ON AMAZON.COM

Photos taken by aahman_-2

Introduction from my new book, “The Waiting Game” by J. R. Floyd

Setting the Stage

It is said that if you stop looking for love it will come to you, and if you love someone,
set him free; if the relationship is meant to be, he will come back. Well, in my case, this saying
is a myth. I am a 52-year-old mother of one and grandmother of three. I had one short horrible
marriage and several hit- and -run relationships.

I thought that I once had the love of my life, but he ran for the hills when I mentioned
marriage. I found out that most of my lovers moved on to get married and live happy lives.
What is so painful about reliving these memories is that none of these men thought that I was
wife material or good enough to be the mother of his children.
There is something very evil and disturbing about men who will have sex with you, lie to
you, play you like a fiddle, while closing the door in your face.

I had a few of them come back, but I was not smart enough to understand that I was
just a layover before they moved on again. What is it about me that either scares men away,
attracts losers, or beckons to men who simply don’t get me?
Most of them came with too many requirements and baggage: baggage in the form of
ex-wives who had not moved on, or ex- girlfriends who have not really become exes. In each
relationship, I was expected to change and make adjustments, compromise, give up, give in
until I gave out. I was not sexy enough; I did not dress sluttily enough to suit their taste, I was
too conservative, too aggressive, and too smart. I did not give enough of myself in bed; in other
words, I was not freaky enough.

I played different roles in these relationships. For the men who refused to grow up and
cut the apron strings, I had to mother them. Oh, and the children; no, not my son, their
children. I was the free babysitter so they could go out and hang with the boys.
My biggest role–playing wife without the ring or marriage license. When I think about
all the time I wasted cooking, cleaning, washing and organizing their sad lives, all in the name of
L.O.V.E, I realized that Tina Turner was right: love had nothing to do with what I was going
through. It was all for the sole purpose of their self-gratification. Moreover, in the end I was left
emotionally confused, physically exhausted, mentally disturbed, and financially broken- exactly
what they wanted.

More myths: you are still young, it is not too late, he is out there for you, and you just
have not met him yet. Why do people tell you this when deep down inside what they really
want to say is, “ Girl, hang up your dating boots, your prince isn’t coming, settle for that frog,’
because at this stage of the game you have to take what you can get; or settle for what’s
behind door number three.”Drum roll please…. and behind door number three we present Miss Lonely. Yes, most women fear being alone, because we have been told being alone is BAD.

Yes, the defect is always with us. It goes something like this: I am alone because I am a
nag, hard to get along with, too needy, too fat, too thin, too broke, or too independent.
I am selfish, bossy, noisy, fussy, and refuse to have sex 10 times a day. I am too trusting
or not trusting enough. Oh, here is the climax: it is my fault that I have been replaced with a
better woman. But no, I am not another angry woman, as I have been labeled. I am a woman
who has arrived at the end of these experiences finally understanding who I am, where I am
going, and knowing how I am going to get there, and what I will and will not put up with and
why. My story is about ignoring the warning signs, such as, when it is time to get out of an
abusive relationship. A reminder: abuse does not have to be physical to leave scars. I had to
learn how to put the brakes on, make a U-turn, and haul ass in the opposite direction when the
drama got too deep.

This is about not lowering standards by accepting the behavior of a serial cheater. By
doing so, we women put our health in danger by continuing to have sexual intercourse with
him: all because women are told this is all a part of what men do. Well, A.I.D.S kills and herpes
is for life, and do you really want to stay with a man who has been labeled community
property?

This is about all the bad relationship myths that are damaging to women’s self-esteem
and self- respect and undermine us a woman. This is about living in a society where the double
standard motto that “Boys will be Boys” is an accepted norm, while women are expected to put
out and shut up.

To the men who have the great fortune and guts to read this book, it is about your
understanding that men can be broken, needy, and have parts of them that need to be fixed
too. Stop measuring your worth by your penis and start thinking with your brain about the
quality of emotional stability, respect, caring, and love that you can give to your partner.

A final note: Men, stop being selfish; a relationship is not all about you. Women, stop
talking to your girlfriends, your mother, his mother, and talk to him, God, or a therapist.
When entering into a relationship, both men and women need to think about what they
are doing and why. Nobody likes a player and games are for social activities, not a relationship.

What Say You?

TWG Cover

THE WAIT IS OVER.

TWG Cover

Dear Readers:
“The Waiting Game” details the relationship myths that women hear about through the generations. Women are taught that men are not attracted to strong women, and that a woman’s primary role in society is to get the man and keep him interested. Women have to follow the rules of the game to be successful. Rule one, use prime bait. Rule two, catch the man. Rule three, keep the man no matter what characteristics he possesses. Any rules after that- the men play the rest of the game. Therefore, if this task is not completed—we fail as women.

Read this and:
Let Your Reminiscence Unfold
Enjoy,
J. R. Floyd

ON AMAZON.COM

Photos taken by aahman_-2