Can a relationship survive Infidelity?

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Dear Readers, Today’s topic: infidelity, cheating, being unfaith, side piece 

I like to establish ground rules before diving into this subject. When referring to people in relationships, I am not talking about people who are chronic cheaters. I am referring to people who pledge in their hearts to be in an exclusive relationship or marriage vowing to forsake all others. 

People who are in a committed relationships and outside of the relationship to engage in a sexual relationship with another person, you are a cheater because having a side piece is not a part of the deal. To my readers, is it worth mending a relationship when a partner cheats? And here is the big kicker, the double standard, women who forgive men who cheat, but on the other hand, men will not stay in a relationship and forgive a woman who cheats on him. Why is this? Could it be that his manhood is challenged? 

Cheaters give all kinds of reasons for being unfaithful. However, is there any true justification for being involved in a sexual relationship when engaged in an exclusive relationship or marriage? The sad part is the innocent people who are caught up in their cheating partners sexual entanglement, the cheater doesn’t realize or care at the moments that they are getting their jollies off, that when the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, that there will be people who feel betrayed, scarred, and emotional broken. 

The Excuses 

1. A man who considers himself a committed bachelor, he uses this non relationship status as an excuse to have sexual relations with multiple women.

2. If the fire of romance dies in a relationship or one partner becomes physically unattractive. The cheater uses this to make the innocent partner feel guilty. 

3. Lack of sexual satisfaction or boredom.

4. The thrill of sneaking around and tasting the forbidden fruit.

5. Couples who marry at an early age and have not had sexual experience with other people. 

6. Men blame their spouse for not pleasing them or that she has lost interest in being intimate. And vice versa for the women who cheat on their male partners. In other words, the cheater is saying that their partner is not enough. 

I can imagine the pain, mental anguish, and emotional frustration the innocent partner struggles through. The first time it happened to me I walked in on my cheating partner. The second time it was a rumor that got back to me. When I confronted my partner, he confessed. I trusted men who cheat, and justify it by using lame lines like, “I love my spouse ” or ” it was just sex it did not mean anything” and ” it was a mistake.” So, am I to understand that each time the cheating partners planned to meet with their outside piece it was a mistake?

I am going to leave this right here….

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen 

Are You in Over Your Head?

Dear Readers,

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Balance is a simple word. It means to distribute weight evenly. Recently I forced myself to slow down by rearranging my schedule due to feeling overwhelmed.  Each passing day I began to declutter my schedule and gain a better perspective on how to solve the issue of rushing, and not getting enough rest.  The rest I am referring to isn’t about the recommended 7-8 of sleep. I mean resting from that never ending To Do List. 

The last two years I’ve examined the quality of activities in my life, and made some changes. First, I do not volunteer my time for anything unless I am benefiting from the activity. I no longer say yes to any requests unless I review my calendar. I stopped cramming my calendar with activities. In other words, what I did not need in my schedule is more activities, instead take the activities I do have an add Balance. 

I am preparing for retirement and I need the time to explore and research my plan to relocate and build a tiny house. At this stage of my life I no longer feel the need or have the energy to Grind. I have noticed as I am advancing in age my mind and body are no longer willing to cooperate with me working 16 hour days. What I need more of is Balance and Consistency in making the quality of my life a priority. 

I do not need to add more tasks to my To Do List. I need to practice Balance. Being busy doesn’t mean productivity. Have you ever stopped to question what you’re busy doing and why? I have recreated my To Do List into five areas of my life: health, worship, finances, rest, and retirement. The goal is to  prioritize these five areas and Balance my time to give equality and quality to the goals I want to achieve in these areas. For example, in the area of Rest, I have been traveling more and taking weekend mental breaks by staying at an airbnb. The more I take weekend breaks from the same routines I feel energized, refreshed and I have more clarity. 

It’s so easy to lose sight of the demands we place on these human bodies. When was the last time you paid attention to how mentally and emotionally drained your feelings? Society tells us to be positive, push through, be strong and that multitasking is good. What I observe is a population of people who are exhausted, angry, eating poorly, rushing from one activity to the next, not enough quality time spent at home, and taking less and less time for mental breaks and vacations. 

Declutter your schedule, home and workspace. Throw out that never ending To Do List. Cancel the bucket list. Create a Life List. Take time to critically think why you’re feeling overwhelmed. How do you rest?  How is your mental and emotional health? Don’t you think it’s worth taking time to slow down and practice Balance, Consistency and adding some peace and joy into your life. 

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen

Relationship Experts. True or False

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Have you noticed the new movement of motivational speakers and relationship experts who claim their sole purpose is to help people discover the hidden secrets of how to have a loving and lasting intimate relationships. There are thousands of books and videos posted on soical media by these self proclaimed relationship experts who earn income form speaking engagements, books and relationship workshops all at the expense of broken hearts and lost souls searching for love.

Women are pouring into relationship conferences that charge a fee to hear what they are doing wrong in their relationships, and how to attract the right partner. I’ve been unsuccessful in love, so I began to pay attention to these relationship experts, and invested money in books and workshops. For the most part I found some of the information useful and discovered areas in my life that needed improvement. But, I am not going to shoulder all the blame for not having successful relationships. Why? Because overtime while attending these relationship workshops I began to notice a trend, most experts heaped the blame for failed relationships on women.

The ideology of these experts seems to centered around advising women to be better, raise their standards, don’t date out side their league, stop chasing men, stop making life easy for men, stop having sex, stop wanting marriage, and wait for the man to make the first move. There theory is that It is the duty of women to guard their virginity because men don’t women who’ve been around the block too many times. Men want good girls, you know the saying, ” sugar and spice and everything nice.” While being a nice girl, women should concentrate on securing an education, building a career, and a solid credit score, and finances in preparation for Prince Charming. And when he comes all her aspiration should shift to serving her family and creating a happy home. I say, most of their expert advice is ” B. S.” and sexism.

Most of the dating resources and advice claim that woman are not supposed to change the rules of dating. A womans position is to be meek, humble, submissive, and attentive to her mans needs. Some relationship experts explain that women contribute to the deterioration of a relationship due to them pursuing careers over a relationship, marriage and children. The experts also suggest that most men leave their homes or have outside relationships because their current partner is not meeting their needs.

I won’t bore you with a list of books, YouTube channels, and podcasts focused on educating women in the ways of how to get and keep a man. I don’t want my readers to think that I am discouraging women from seeking advice to help them find a partner or to save a failing relationship. I am suggesting” let the buyer beware” before dooming themselves to a life of being a spinster. Ladies decide for yourself the information that will or will not be helpful because the bottom line is it takes two to tangle.


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Thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

When the inner voice speaks

Hello Ladies, Let me have a word with you.

If currently not in a relationship or situationship and sitting around wondering, crying, and hating on women who are getting engaged or have successful relationships. STOP IT.
I use to be in and out of dysfunctional relationships and situationships to find Mr. Right because I was under the false impression that Mr. Right and the relationship was going to make everything in my life better. I was in and out of relationships for all the wrong reasons. During this dark and miserable period of my life I didn’t understand the emotional damage I was experiencing because I was loosing myself in the hunt for a relationship. I finally had enough of being broken, mistreated, and disappointed. When I decided that I am worth a better life this is when everything changed.

I use to fight against being alone in my space. I thought the gift of peace was underrated. People kept saying to me take time to work on myself. I thought “this is a bunch of crap.” Well, I’ve changed my mind. Ladies, if your in a position where you can creat your living space to reflect who you are count is as a blessing. If you have peace in your home embrace it. Being in the presence of peace is healing, I sleep better, I have better clarity, thus my creative ideas flows. I am learning how to balance my emotions, most important, I don’t allow others to bring their choas into my creative space of peace.

Lastly, loneliness don’t freak out about being alone, or being with self, single, spending time with you, and being in your own company. Don’t allows others to make you feel sad about being alone in your space of peace and creativity. Being alone has been the most important part of GETTING to KNOW who I am. These past two years of being on lock down because of the pandemic, and on going soical distancing helped me to embrace the path of working on me. For me this means therapy, yes, therapy is good combined with my spiritual growth have been a major factor in my emotional healing. I haven’t dated or have any interest in an intimate relationship since 2018. The big question when will I get back into the dating game? I won’t not any time soon.

My path to healing isn’t about me making myself better for a MAN, it’s about setting the standards for a better life for me. I am 57, not really interested in Mr. Right. Armed with new knowledge I know it’s about the quality of the man and does he meet the standards for my life, and not me lowering myself to meet his standards. I am going full force that on the knowledge that a successful relationship depends on the cooperation of two individuals. In the meantime, the only relationship that’s important to me is the one I am cultivating with myself.

Ladies move forward into your path of healing by creating a space of peace, self care and creativity.

Thank you for reading ❤️

An Ode to Technology

Dear Readers,

Think about this for a second, what would happen if you unplugged for 7 days? Meaning, unplugging from soical media, television, limiting phone usage, no texting, playing games, watching movies, using your mobile phone to make or receive calls from work, your children or spouse. Image the possibility of being in a house with no Tvs, laptops, iPads, play stations, not even a microwave, and actually cooking on a stove. Image being able to have conversations at mealtime, playing board games or reading? Scary isn’t it?

Think about how productive you could be if there weren’t any electric devices to distract you. If you had to have a conversation with your children or spouse, what would you talk about? When was the last time you read a book in silence or sat in the family room with your family sipping coffee, hot chocolate or wine eating popcorn and looking through old photos reminiscing?

When was the last time you looked at your To Do List, and promised to get through it, but you got distracted by social media or binge watching TV. So, the closets remain unorganized, the garage is still cluttered, the dining room table is over flowing with junk mail, and the dust bunnies are getting bigger and bigger. I know this is alot to take in, but have you thought about how we have allowed technology to interrupt our intimate relationships and mute the communication at home with family. I am shocked that people who live in the same house text each instead of taking time to have a face to face conversation.

Think about how technology has changed date night. I remember my brother giving me this dating advice, he said, ” if a man put his phone on the table during a date, get up and leave” why because his attention should be on me not his phone. How many of you go out for a lunch date, date night, or girls night out. While you should be present in the moment your continuously checking your phone, or taking pictures and posting them on soical media. Question, what is the first thing you do in the morning? If you answered, check your cellphone your not alone.

The debate is that we can’t get away from technology, I say, it’s not about the use of technology, but the over use and abusive manner that people allow technology to rule their lives. There are many societies around the world that have no access to technology, and people pity them because the thinking is that these individuals are missing out, the question is what are they missing? Yes, the advantage of new technology has made many areas of our lives better, but on the other hand, many of us have allowed technology to invade almost every area of our lives to the point that some individuals cannot function without their devices.

I began to pay attention to my technology habits and decided to make some adjustments. First, I don’t grab my phone upon waking, I find it’s interupts my morning routine. Instead, I set a specific amount of time to check emails or text messages. During working hours I disconnect from my phone checking for messages during my lunch break. I do another check for emails before leaving work and connect to soical media during my commute home. At home my phone is on vibrate and it’s usually not in the same room with me.

I am very selective about when I watch television and the programs, but I do a bit of binge watching on Friday evenings, my way of whining down. On the weekends I have a schedule for checking emails, working on manuscripts, my soical media postings and creating a podcast. My weekends are more productive, I feel less stressed and I have time to relax and be present in the moment when I am around others. This may sound ridge, but I choose not to be a slave to technology. I enjoy and take advantage to properly use technology to improve the daily activities of my life, but I am glad I know when enough is enough.

Grudges

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Dear Readers,

Holding grudges leads to a life of unforgiveness and tragic loss. We are told that forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves because forgiveness frees a person from the burden of carrying the weight of unresolved anger.

Some times a grudge starts out as a minor misunderstanding, but overtime because of blame and actuations, a grudge becomes blown out of proportion, thus the individuals involved tend to forget the original reason why the lines of communication were broken. The emotional burden of holding grudges run deep and the lasting trauma doesn’t only effect the people involved, but the others connected to the individuals who started the grudge.

The relationships, friendships and families torn apart because of freud’s started by a grudge sometimes lasts a lifetime. Regardless of why the grievance began the question is what purpose does holding a grudge serve, and who benefits from the feelings of deep resentment and unresolved issues? While writing this post I wondered how can I present examples of disastrous outcomes of holding a grudge. So, I decided to let history be our best teacher. Do you recall the famous Hatfield & Mc Coy feud dated 1863-1891, 30 years, 13 deaths, why, there was a claim of a stolen pig. Now, you might be asking yourself, why didn’t they just solve the problem by giving back the pig, easy right, Wrong. This grudge wasn’t that simple, the story of the stolen pig was a cover up. A historical fact, revealed that there was a difference in confederate beliefs. Regardless, to what the truth is 30 years of fueding fueled by a grudge of an unknown source caused pain, death and emotional suffering.

We all know the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet young lovers caught between a family feud that resulted in their death. The families finally reconciled and recognized that their decision to hold onto an ancient grudge started by their ancestors was the catalyst behind Romeo and Juliet choosing death over life.

These two examples of how holding a grudge and the destructive consequences because people were unwilling to use logic and consider how ignorance and selfishness of how a minor misunderstanding slowly progressed to an extreme infraction.Think for a moment about the people who hold grudges until death regretting they lost the chance to mend the relationship because they made
the decision to stand firm in the belief that they were right and the other party is wrong.

Holding a grudge isn’t about waiting for someone to be the bigger person, and step up admitting they are wrong allowing the other person to feel validated. Holding a grudge means that there will not be a winner or looser just individuals holding their peace wanting to be right. So, I have a suggestion since we are in the Christmas season followed by the New Year, this is a perfect time to take steps to let go of grudges, time to mend broken relationships, friendships, and family ties.

Consider this after experiencing being sheltered in place, cut off from physical contact with family and friends, relationship and marriage broken because of the stress of the pandemic, and two years of death, economic disaster, and the threat of yet another virus. Let go and reach, let by-gones be just that, healing from a grudge just might be the best healing medicine. So, why are you holding a grudge?



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Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

Sisters who date outside their race

Dear Readers,

Sisters inspiring sisters

I knew as soon as I posted on my Facebook page about sisters who date outside their race that I was opening the doors for a wave of negative comments. Let me be clear that I am including all the sisters of the rainbow. I am speaking out because I am tired of sister’s being harassed by a society standing in judgment as to why sisters are “selling themselves out” by seeking men outside of their race.

First, should race be a deciding factor when a women is seeking love, devotion, monogamy, compassion, respect, and equality in a relationship? I say no, however, the naysayers are unwilling to own up to the truth about why sisters are seeking companionship with males who are not ” brothers.” Here is the bottom line strong sisters of substance are fighting against the mindset of the double standard. Sisters are toiling and making sacrifices while suffering under the negative feedback from an unforgiven society constantly bombarding them with messages of being ” barefoot and pregnant”. Another point I would like to clarify when I say women of substance, I am not referring to the media seeking, gold diggers seeking a sugar daddy or who stalk celebrities, professional athletes, and rappers by sexualizing themselves to gain wealth and social status. I am speaking in support of sisters who have a vision for their lives and grinded while staying grounded and live by good moral values to established a foundation for themselves.

Sisters are done with being beaten down with the images and messages of the stereotypical gender roles associated with being female.There are sisters who are Judges, Lawyers, Doctor, Politicians, CEOs, Scientists, Professional Athletes, Entertainers, Business owners, and high ranting Military Official, who are seeking partners of equal status within their own race, however, they are not finding the quality they desire in a mate among brothers. The voices of society encourage sisters to settle and lower their standards and expectations. NewFlash!!! Sisters are no longer willing to settle. So, why not step out and seek men from other cultural background?

People pretend that they don’t hear sisters telling their stories of being weary of the lack of love and respect from brothers. The other side of this story, is when a brothers voice his displeasure about sisters who ruin relationships because they won’t ” submit” he receives valadation. The main reasons why sisters are stepping outside of their race it’s due to the deplorable treatment by brothers. Let the truth be told sisters desire the joys of celebrating black love or love within their own culture. I will be the first to confess that their is nothing better when black love endures. It’s unfortunate that no one is paying attention to the shift that is happening women no longer desire to play the traditional roles and they are excelling in areas of life where women have been held back for years. At the end of the day, women desire that special partner to stand with them and celebrate their success. Sisters are exhausted by brothers who hold them back and drained them with their foolish behavior, lack of maturity, and responsible. Sisters no longer want baby daddies, or men who are undecided about marriage, and unsupportive of putting them out front to follow their vision, sisters are done with wasting time waiting for a brother to get some act right and get his life in order.

I often reflect on how much time, energy, money and emotions I wasted on brothers who treated me as something to do for that moment. But I hold no grudges, at the time I didn’t have a clear direction for my life, so I was just going along with the program. However, when the light bulb went off and I began to understand why I wasn’t successful and happy as I desire to be. I discovered it was the quality of the brothers I was entertaining. They did not see me as the college graduate, writer, speakers, media influencer, but I did. I changed the path of my life and that meant the quality of my intimate relationships had to match the progress of my life. However, when sister’s like me think in this manner we are told that it’s wrong because sisters are abandoning brothers and we are not being true to our race

I would just like to end with this. It was a black man who abandoned me when I was a teenage mother. It was a black man that emotionally and mentally abused me and my only escape was through domestic organizations. It wasn’t a black man who stood in support of me while I was working three part time jobs and earning a college education, they were too busy being self center. And I can go on and on but I think you get the point. I have been single by choice for four years, and I don’t desire to be alone and if a non brother shows interest I am all in.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

Sister’s Can You Relate?

I want to start dating again, but as a woman I don’t know if this is politically correct. Why, because women are told that they are supposed to wait for their husband, and that women are not to chase men rather they are to pursue us. However, the ultimate question is what does dating mean? In my case I went from a naive 17 year old virgin to a clueless teenager mother, and all of my experiences with dating were horrible. I thought that dating meant getting married and riding off into the sunset happily ever after. Looking back I now understand that I didn’t have to respond to every man that whistled at me, and that some men inttention weren’t honorable.

Anyway, I’ve spend years going through the healing process from a abused childhood, survivor of domestic volience, and other dysfunctional intimate situationships. The darkness and chaos in my life lead me to seek help to understand why my life was out of order. It’s been a long and painful process of self reflection, therapy, diving into self help books, yoga, self care retreats, choosing to remain single, no dating and practicing celibacy.
Despite all the new knowledge I have aquired my journey has been lonely. But I had to do what was needed to understand the behavior, thinking, and addictive patterns that kept me in a cycle of depression, relationship drama, and repeating the same mistakes both professionally and personally. Year after year I purged myself of the demons of my past. I feel good about where I am in life. I have a better vision of my purpose, how and what I need to accomplish my goals, but what I lack is companionship from a partner that’s my equal.

At the age of 57, I desire to be courted respectfully and properly, with sincerity instead of lies and con games. I need pure dating without the pressure of quick meaningless intimacy. I have various interest, I love the outdoors camping life style, driving cross country, exploring new cusine, gardening, reading, cooking and entertaining family and friends. I am working towards building a tiny house for retirement, and will continue to pursue, publishing books, blogging, and entering a new stage of my career as a public speaker. I still have some self work to do, but I know that I can enter a relationship fresh with less baggage. The only hinders besides getting past the fear of dating is waiting until it is safe to go out and meet people due to the coronavirus. In the meantime, I will remain hopeful.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

The Dangerous of Relationship Myths

Dear Readers,

I am no relationship expert, let the truth be told, I have failed at every attempt of establishing and maintaining a lasting intimate partnership.Yes, I am willing to be vulnerable and bare my soul by taking responsibility for why I entered and participated in many dysfunctional intimate and personal relationships that only served the purpose of robbing me of my self worth.

How many times we’ve heard this saying
” experience is the best teacher,” this is not true in all areas of life. After surviving some experiences that threatened to rob me of life and hope. What I now know is that I would have benefited from some information, preparation and foundation about certain areas of life that I had the least experience. Sometimes when individuals are left out to hang so to speak, that saying, ” experience is the best teacher” can leave some people with lasting emotional and mental damage.

I created the YouTube channel, Conversations with J R Floyd, to openly discuss relationship myths that lead people into dysfunctional relationships. These myths damage self esteem, and self worth. We learn to be mistrustful, how to scheme, not to show our authentic self because we don’t know who we are. Damaged people know who they are by what’s others tell them who they are according to personal bias.

As a society we will not be able to heal and gain clarity, if we are not willing to point the finger of blame correctly where it belongs, learn to forgive others and ourself, and go through a process healing to close the wounds inflicted as a results of emotional and mental trauma. I lived in denial for years, blinded by hopeless and anger, surrounded by broken people like myself. I am happy to say that I dug deep for my healing. I honor the entire journey even the dark, lonely, hopeless days. Today, I stand on firm ground, I know who I am and have better clarity and purpose. My experiences did not kill me, some made me stronger, wiser and most important when to seek help.

Some relationship myths

  1. If he lays with you he will stay with you. This is not necessarily true.
  2. Being labeled baby mama doesn’t equal being a wife. Most women who give birth to children without being legally married expect to be treated like a wife
  3. Shacking up means he is keeping his options open. Ask yourself a question, why isn’t he honoring you with marriage?
  4. There is no honor in being someone side piece. This seems to be a dangerous trend that is honored in today’s society.
  5. Women who devote years of their lives to a man who aren’t their husband. To each his own, but don’t be angry when he marrys someone else
  6. He or she isn’t the one, so you try to change them. It’s not our duty to change anyone. Accept and allow people to be who they are or move on and find your equal.
  7. Ladies if he is dating and calling you only at night, recognize what you are, ” a booty call”
  8. It’s cheaper to keep her inside of seeking a divorce. Ladies this is how men feel about you when he has invested financially in a marriage or long term partnership.
  9. Having any man is better than no man, even if he is somebody else’s man. In other words, your a side piece
  10. People are justified when they have sexual relationships outside of their marriage.

These are just a few myths and topics on my YouTube channel, conversations with J R Floyd. Join me.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

Putting your foot in your Mouth

Dear Readers,

Somebody please help me to understand this….during another conversation with a brother about my upcoming cross country drive from New York City to California with a very close male friend, he revealed an ugly truth about how not having all the facts can lead to biased  thinking. 

To make a long story short. 

The male that engaged me in conversation suggested that my cross country drive with a man is a  romantic vacation. I corrected his assumption by stating that “although I was once involved in a long term relationship ( 1999-2004) with my travel partner, we remained good friends, but not friends with benefits because I don’t play that game.”

Him: What are you kidding me ? How can a man keep his hands to himself across the whole country?

Me: Because we are both mature adults and he knows that I don’t lay around for the fun of it.

Him: Oh boy…ain’t no way I could do that with you…I would be all over you…I adore you.?

While I am flattered by the comment, this is a man who I don’t know very well, and we had one dinner date many years ago. I am thankful to him because he was the first person to interview me for my first book, The Waiting Game, back in 2016 for his radio station. And we have not  been in each other’s presence since that time. 

Me: All men are not the same. Your attitude is the reason why I remain single and celibate. Men like you need to learn and understand regardless of their former relationship or current situation with any woman, this doesn’t give any man an open door or invitation to touch a woman without asking. 

Him: Well I ain’t gonna lie…I would have to be in a straight jacket to not touch you for that long. Wow that torture. 

Another reminder, I have never been in any situation with this man that would suggest that I was attracted to him. He continued the conversation by calling me a dominatrix.. And that he would have to be handcuffed and gagged to be next to me for such a long period of  time. The next part of the conversation is what pushed my bell and is the driving force behind me making this conversation public. 

Him: I wish you would just be honest and not play games.. That’s it you’re a control freak!! You don’t want a man, you want a pet.  Or He must be gay.

I found his train of thinking and assumption about me and my travel partner to be insulting and disrespectful. I blasted back with 

Me: First of all, why are you talking to me in this manner? I am single because it’s my choice. Secondly, the gentleman I am traveling with is just that, a respectful man who lives by good values and morals and understands boundaries, he is the perfect travel partner to take this trip of a lifetime with. Finally, please refrain from speaking to me in such a manner you have no right to judge me or him. I am shocked at how one black man can label another brother “ Gay” becuase he choos to carry himslf with respect, dignity and most important show a woman her worth. 

Him: I didn’t mean to disrespect you.. You are absolutely right!! I have  friendships with people too. I’m sorry.  

For the people reading this conversation please understand my intent is not to embarrass anyone, on the contrary, I want people to understand the harm they cause by making assumptions about others based on personal biases, misinformation and lacking maturity to keep an open mind. The fact that he referred to my traveling partner as “ Gay “is offensive and an attack on a person he doesn’t know. To the people in society who have a negative mindset that men and women can’t be friends without physical inimatancy, I am sorry that you have brought into a myth, and you’re  missing out on a bond that can last a lifetime. I am proud to say that I have six outstanding male friends. 

Bottom line, think before you speak and stop throwing the people from the LGBTQIA community under the bus. 

What say you?