Category: Random Thoughts

The American Dream

Dear readers,

Many people never imagined that it would come to this. The naysayers laughed at the announcement of the new immigration laws shaking their heads in disbelief and concluding that it is too late to do anything about the large number of undocumented “Dreamers.” “Dreamers” failed to understand that this government does not play fair. There are many reasons cited by the department of Immigration and Naturalization for taking a tough position towards Dreamers.

  • The leaders of this country argue that the over flow of “illegal immigrants” are over taxing an already burdensome economy. It has been reported that there is a large number of immigrants who receive entitlements more than American born citizens.
  • American people are crying foul they say wages are down and the jobs are few. However, some argue that the culpability of a corrupt system designed to hire cheap labor, in order to keep the poor, poorer, and the rich richer.
  • Last, but not least, the New York City Housing Authority claim that there are many undocumented immigrants adding to an already crowded housing shortage.

Not so long ago when immigrants crossed the shores to come to the United States of these Americas, they pass Lady Liberty, she said, “Give us your tired, your poor….” Now the government seems to have grown tired of their poor.

What Say You?

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You Said That?

Dear readers,

When you tweet a statement you cannot take it back. Nowadays the trend is to say something politically incorrect, press send, say Oops, then tweet a retraction.  An apology does not make what was said go away. The reality is your rant is a reflection of how you feel. Hiding behind phrase like, “I used the wrong words’ or “it was insensitive” and “what I said was taken out of content” does not excuse or erase the insults that targets a particular group. Not every idea or thought needs to be spoken aloud. You are entitled by the first Amendment to have your say. However, what I do not approve of is using the press or social media as a platform to disrespect, degrade, humiliate, and air personal grievance.

The bottom line think before you press SEND.

What Say You?

Ready Set Go!

Dear readers,

When arriving at a reasonable age of maturity, making a fresh start is difficult. The modern term for feeling tapped out or hitting rock bottom requires one to push the RESET button, the question is how?

I spent years working dead-end jobs, so I pushed the RESET button, and at the age of twenty-eight grindmy way through college. The payoff was an entry-level position at a Theatre Company as a junior manager. Diligently working my way up and after thirteen years, upper management said to me that I had “Hit the Glass Ceiling.”

RESET

I achieved another degree in Education and advanced from teaching in public school to the position of college adjunct lecturer. Once again I knocked on the door of the Chairperson, and was told that my years of experience and dedication to my students has not gone unnoticed, but, I need a DOCTORATE to acquire full-time status.

RESET

Years of living comfortable, independently and privately in my own space, I had to down size and relocate to a closet size apartment. There are days that all I have the energy to do is sit in my favorite chair sipping Merlot and thinking “REALLY.”

RESET

I am going to make peace with my tiny living quarters. Maybe living like a minimalist is what I need. By June 2017, I will complete my final Thesis, not for an advancement in my career, but for personal satisfaction, and I shall remain dedicated to my students. I no longer feel the need to seek approval from an Institution that bends the rules to accommodate some, but play by the book with others.

Maybe it is time to take my finger off the RESET button and press fast-forward.

What Say you?

The Truth of the Matter

Dear readers,

This is not an attempt to sound preachy nor am I speaking out against people who believe in God. I was raised in a Judo-Christine home. My father the late Rev. Joseph N. Floyd sr. taught his twelve children no matter their lot in life, be respectful, kindness and above all hold onto hope and faith.

I said that to say this….

These days people seen to be angry at God or the Devil.

People in the church seem to think that the devil is blamed for war, famine, and a failed economy. I beg to differ. This is not the work of the devil. The true evil drives from the greed of power-hungry individuals, working collectively to destroy the lives of people who they deem unworthy to live a prosperous life. Yet, these same individuals continuously quote “That all men are created equal.”

There are questions concerning the presence of God. Like, why does God let terrible things happen to good people? Why does God watch people suffer? Why won’t God answer prayers, or give people the things they need? I remember a Judy Blume book I read “Are you their God it’s me Margaret?” A story about a young girl who prayed night after night for bigger breasts and when it didn’t happen …well you can guess the outcome.

People in the religious world blames the SIINERS for creating the SINS that cause people to turn their backs on GOD. The church claims that people in the secular world belief is “In God We Trust.” The individuals in the spiritual world accuse the non-believers in trusting too much in “earthly wealth” instead of earning their place in heaven by doing honorable deeds on earth. The non-believer’s counterargument is that believers are too passive and spend too much time praying, hoping, wishing, and waiting for life to get better, instead of making it better they wait for some invisible God to do it for them.

Mega churches are being built, but who are they helping? Politicians make promise of making life better for the less fortunate during an election year, only to get into office then cut programs for the same people who BELIEVED they would make a difference.  PASTORS of these mega churches are preaching a message of better days and a better life and all people must do is believe?

The finger pointing can go on and on between the believers and the non-believers the real question is, how can we come together and make this world a better place regardless of our own personal beliefs?

What say you?

 

 

 

Oh the Horror!

Dear readers,

It started at the age of 30. I secured my freedom on the road to becoming self-sufficient. The delicious thrill of being on my own, living, thinking and having time for me.

Rewind……….

I was married at the age of 24. The first two years was stella. The last four years were like scenes from Dante’s Inferno. At the age of 30 with the help of my family and friends I escaped.

Fast-forward…….

Twenty three years later, four degrees, one self-published novel, three successful seasons singing first Soprano with the New York City Downtown Chorus, and a supporting role in the Christian play “Oh Lord Why did I get Married?”

Hooray you say job well done.

So, why do I feel like a failure? Years of working three-part time jobs to pay for college and to keep a roof over my head. The end results I haven’t gotten that high paying dream career I worked so diligently to have.

I thought at this stage I would have a better partner to settle into a long-term loving relationship. Another pipe dream lost. The final blow I live in a state (New York City) where the landlord’s greed rules and even though everyone’s money is the color of green, if a person is white and can pay higher rent they are privileged to live in the best neighborhoods.

I am faced with making the choice of sharing an apartment after living in my own space for twenty-three years. I ask myself over and over, How can I co-habitate with a stranger? I am a clean freak, who likes a quite home, a peaceful home is important for me to keep my sanity.

OMG. The fear of seeing someone’s boyfriend coming out of the bathroom in his underwear. Someone eating my food or secretly going through my belongings. The real estate market is such that living on one’s own would require working a tremendous number of hours to cover the rent alone.

Today, I had an appointment at a roommate finders’ agency, the realtor asked me” what am I willing to give up  to acquire a place where I can have all my belongings with me, and to make a fresh start.”

At this present moment, I don’t know how to answer that question.

What say you?

 

 

Come Sunday

Dear readers,

If you’ve been  following me lately, I’m so obsessed  with my plight that I didn’t see the brick-wall in front of me. When I smashed into it I became fully aware how burnt out, and drained I am. Today, I faced the writing on the wall. At this present time there is nothing I can do to solve my living situation, short of spending my life savings to hire an over paid realtor who will show me apartments that don’t suit me or the rent is above my pay grade. I’ve gained 15 pounds, cancelled two trips, put all writing projects on hold and ended a very promising relationship. I’ve  helped people in my same situation, that was all good and dandy until I found myself in the same predicament.

No one told me that life still goes on. And to continue to live as though I’m still living in my own space. My biggest problems is trying to deal with the feelings of shame and embarrassment. I want this darkness to be over tomorrow but it won’t. My belongings are in storage, and so on and so on…….

So, I decided to listen to the voice inside my head that keeps whispering, ” stop beating yourself up.” To kick-start my road to recovery I created a list in the order of importance. Of course locating a new place to live is at the top. But in the meantime, I’ve secured more of my belongings from storage, re-booked both trips, and completed week one of a two-week fitness camp, working my way to a healthier life. And I stopped ignoring my family and friends for expressing their concern about my pity party.

Today is Sunday, I attended my first family dinner. It’s amazing how good food, great wine, laughing, smiling , getting much-needed hugs helped me to realized how good life is.

What say you?

Is it Just Me?

Dear readers,

My son says, “Embrace the transition,” Well i say, ” excuse me for having a moment of insanity.” It’s been 22 days since I was ousted from my home of six years. I’ve never been without my own SPACE. I’ve relocated from one place to another but always to a place of my own for me, myself and I plus a pet or two. I’ve never had a roommate. The word roommate scares me and sends me into a place in my head that I don’t want to visit. I’ve lived alone for 23 years. It wasn’t easy at first this living alone. I was divorce at the age of 30 after six years of marriage. I made many adjustments like: learning to cook for one, how to sleep on both sides of the bed, to keep the mattress from getting lopsided. Eating alone and coming home to an empty house was the most difficult part of being alone. The bed is colder in the winter without the warm of that extra body. Over the years I had my own version of roommates’ dog, cats, three parakeets, a turtle named Franklin and a fish called bear.

I buried myself in establishing a career as an educator, developed my skills as a writer, playwright, and singer. Mother of one fabulous son and grandmother of three, at the age of 53, I can’t call myself homeless, but it feels like I am. A friend and her 24 years old fresh out of Boston College son took me in. So, what all the fuss? I have a good roof over my head, my own room with AC, close to the bathroom, and in an area of the house that is quiet.  It’s only the three us, we have different schedules very much like ships passing in the night. It took me 10 days to unpack and to personalize the space I now live in. I can’t say home, I either say the space I sleep in or the place I live for now.

I feel like a caged bird. I miss lying across my sofa and channel surfing. I miss my weekend Saturday breakfast tray in bed and the afternoon nap. Or coming home siting in my favorite, big, black, leather chair and relaxing with a glass of Merlot and listening to Joseph Hayden’s Mass in the Time of War. I feel like I’m tip toeing around. I worry if I made too many trips to the bathroom, or kept the lights on too late blogging, reading and grading papers. As soon as I arrive there I would prefer to go directly to the room I sleep in, but not to seem anti-social I sit in the dining room and chat.

I have spent 23 years of my life living alone. Besides having the occasional boyfriend. I dwelled in my own space alone. My son says that I should embrace learning how to live with other people. He has a point. I just might end up with a roommate, I live in New York City and the rents are $$$$$$$$$$$$. Living with a roommate scares me more than living alone.

Stay tune for more…………………………..