More About Me

Dear Readers, 

My journey as a blogger, author, and creator of my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd, is a personal pilgrimage of healing from a life of chaos and emotional brokenness through deep reflection and self-discovery; leading me to find a new path and live a better life. The events of my past and the trauma connected to those experiences had a profound affect on how I lived my life and the choices I made. I transitioned from an abused and neglected childhood, to a confusing and dark adolescent into adulthood where I made enormous mistakes that are too numerous to recall. 

It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom at the age of 30 that I acquired professional help. I was raised in a religious home and my parents taught their children that all they need to solve their problems is the Bible and prayer. I lived a sheltered life, and looking back at the adults during my childhood they taught me nothing. One of many lessons I learned from therapy is that my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles lack of knowledge is due to generations of them being in survival mode. I was angry for years at my parents because they didn’t protect me from falling into the cruel ditches of this world; instead my father was busy being a disciplinary and ruling his family with an iron fist, so I learned to fear my father and withdraw. My mother was a hopeless domestic diva who showed no emotions except anger. 

After my experience with therapy I concluded that many of my problems I encountered derived from my childhood, and the adults having influences grooming my young mind filling it with mixed messages and myths that I discovered as an adult were wrong, misleading and harmful.  

My childhood home was constantly in chaos, alcohol and drug, domestic violence, screaming, male domination, and subservient women. When children are not reared in homes that are loving, balanced, financially and emotionally ready, support from extended family members, and nurturing and safe; the results can be devastating, trust me I know from experience. 

  1. Children from dysfunctional or broken families and hindered from seeking out their own identity separate from the family, they are marked the” Black Sheep’ and treated as such. 
  2. When parents make decisions for their children based on the theory that they are too young or emotionally immature to make decisions for themselves; the result is children who grow into adults who make poor choices.
  3. Children who are not taught how to cope with loss, death, separation, relocation of living situations, adults need to bear in mind that children have emotions that they don’t understand, and when they aren’t given the support, love and encouragement they need to cope with loss, the result is an adult who can’t cope with life.
  4. When children transition into adolescence this is a confusing period of their life, they need help, patience and guidance, because this is when most of the troubles begin because adults don’t pay attention to their needs, and label teenagers as difficult.  

My intentions is for my readers to understand the reason behind some of my postings that might seem personal or disturbing. I hope that I can help others who are or have  struggled with past childhood trauma to understand that the pain doesn’t have to last forever and that there is a rainbow at the end of rain.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

Hold onto Hope. We Can Win

Good day Readers, 

I want to encourage people to hold onto HOPE. Not for a day, a week, a month or for a year, but hold onto HOPE until change happens.  I know change will happen, are you paying attention to the movement of people who are gathering to shout with a collective voice for change. I call your attention to what is happening and not to what you think is not happening. We are faced with many challenges. First, political leaders want people to think that the worse of the coronations is over. I say, it is important that people fight back against this falsehood, get tested and learn how to take care of yourself and your family. Second, politicians are withholding financial funding from a population of people who are in desperate need, they are doing this in hope they can scare people into re-electing this current administration.  

The Trump Administration and other Republican politicians have ignored the rascal tension that continues to divide this nation, these are the people who should lead by example and work together to stop this war on the black and brown communities. What these politicians want the masses to believe is that we are weak and powerless and they are strong and hold all the power, this a falsehood that we must dismantle by VOTING them out. This is how we the people use our power, our voices. I know it seems that we are beginning beaten down by budget cuts, mass unemployment, the virus, increased police brutality,  reopening of schools placing our children in danger, while the wealthy children remain safe. 

Most people are ready to write this year off as a loss, as we continue to face the warning about a second wave of this virus, while businesses are struggling to stay open. We are experiencing the loss of people who are of great value to the black community. But we are not beaten. One by one other organizations are no longer standing by the sidelines silent. We have witnessed the action of the NBA, NBL, and the NWBL. The black community made history once again when the young Yolanda Renee King, granddaughter of Martin Luther King the 3rd, raised her voice at the recent March on Washington, reminding the masses how crucial it is to remember and revive the vision, the dream to end racism.To continue the fight towards true emancipation from shackles of a system of dominance that have kept black and brown people locked in a crippling cycle of poverty, ignorance, and mental anguish. After more than 400 years black people are still considered intruders in a land where white supremacy threatens to kill the dream. We must collectively must hold onto HOPE for this generation and future generations.

Please stop the looting, fight and continue to march in the name of progress, keep taking a knee in silent protest, we must push back against this current administration, THEY HAVE FAILED US. 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

Life from a different perspective

Dear Readers,

Despite the circumstances I hope that you have enjoyed the summer because it’s not over yet. I understand that people are concerned about summer ending. We’ve gotten caught up in enjoying being outside and feeling less stressed. You should continue to enjoy a slower pace there is no reason to begin to stir up panic about the natural changing of the season.

I know its been a difficult year, and the fear of shutting down and go back to begin sheltered in place, and facing the unknown. I admit there is cause for concern, but let me remind you about WIN, What’s Important Now. I said this many months ago when we were first ordered to shelter in place.

What’s important Now is that we have time to create a plan to continue to work from home, develop a structured schedule for home schooling, and think of ways to maintain good emotional, mental and physical health. Remember, we have  struggled through a tremendous crisis, it was difficult, but once people understood the seriousness of this predicament, we did what was needed to remain stay.

I know its easier to keep a positive attitude when we can enjoy warmer weather, and spreading out makes people feel better emotionally. May I suggest looking  forward to the changing seasons with excitement and enjoyment. Continue to stay safe, think about the children this situation has been especially difficult for them , maintain calmness,  and start to think about how your going to structure daily life once we are indoors. In the meantime, enjoy.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

 

The Cries from Mourning Souls

 

 

Dear Readers, 

I have never been nor will I be a supporter of violence. However, I do stand firm on the old saying ” an eye for an eye”. In the King James Bible, we are instructed that, “ whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other..” ( St. Matthew. 5:38). The reaction of the black community after the murder of another African American man, George Floyd, is proof that African American’s have no more cheeks to turn. The news and social media, political leaders, and public opinion are of the belief that African Americans taking to the streets rioting,looting and burning down a precinct should be viewed as acts of vandalism and ignorance. Furthermore, African American’s expressing their anger towards a justice system that defends Caucasian citizens and law enforcement officers thus giving them the leeway to belatedly in cold blood hunt down, and subdue men and women of color for the sole purpose of murdering them. 

People in black communities live in fear as an endangered population because of an invisible target on their backs. We have to question the demented thinking of a race of people who lay claim to being superior and use this as their solitary justification for to committing genocide on the African Americans.  

We have to question living in a modern industrious society, where a black man is forced to consider the consequences of venturing out of his homes, into an atmosphere where he is preyed upon by a white sharp teeth predator looking for its next kill. 

We have to question the Blue Wall of silence that encourages and supports police officers to roam and ravage people in black communities. Why? Because 400 years ago, White America arrived at the conclusion that any person of color is fair game, and that the laws that protect the rights of the white race are deemed NON IN VOID when referring to the rights of African Americans.

We have to question a justice system that is broken, soiled,and corrupt, yet vows that every person who is alleged to have committed a crime is innocent until proven guilty, and has a right to due process…yet the concrete streets in the black and brown communities run red with the blood of innocent victims because New York City Finest has decided that its killing season. 

We have to question a society that justifies burning crosses on the lawns of African Americans, lyching, the use of attack dogs, and blasting water from fire hose into crowds of black people that have the power and force to kill. The continuous rapping of black women during slavery for the purpose of producing more laborers, or to be sold for profit. The brutal beating of black people to the point they are unrecognizable; and  the practice of tying men to the back of trucks dragging them to their death. Deterring slaves from running towards freedom by chopping off an arm or a leg. The bombing of a church in Birmingham Alabama (1963), killing four black girls. The case of the Mississippi burning,  three young men were killed in a small Mississippi town because they wanted to educate people of color in the south about their right to vote. 

The world has watched the video of George Floyd,  down on the ground pleading for his life and crying out for his mother. While a police officer slowly cut off his air, it is reported that the white police officer knelt on Floyd’s neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds; and 2 minutes and 53 seconds of that 8 minutes he became unresponsive. It would take a person with a cold, stone heart of Pharaoh not to be affected by watching a person die. 

So, the world sits in judgement as to how African Americans should express their anger and outrage. And while political analysts and media doppelgangers sit scrutinizing the video over and over, the anger of the African American community will continue to boil over. Dr. Martin Luther King jr. in his defense of black people pushing back again laws and a justice system that devalues the lives of African Americans. In his Letter From Birmingham Jail ( 1963),  he said that people have a moral responsibility to break unjust laws and to take direct action rather than waiting potentially forever for justice to come through the courts. King writes, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”  

What Say You?

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen

 

You Have Been Warned

Dear Readers,

People are in a rush to be outside. I am making the choice to remain sheltered in place. I’ve purchased a beach chair and a portable pool. My summer will be spent in my back yard with my mini grill, some good books, editing my new manuscript, and watching the TV my landlord hooked up a TV in the garage. I understand that its difficult for some people to remain at home due to enticing warmer temperatures,being bored, and living in tight spaces. Reminder! The virus is out there. We don’t know who, what, where, or when. Some people will be of the opinion that I am living in fear. I say, I am staying safe. Please use the common sense you where born with. 👍🌞

What Say You?

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen

Corona virus and Relationships

Dear  Readers,

It is time to revisit the foundation of our relationship or situation ship during this time of  being sheltered in place due to the crisis brought on by the corona virus. This subject is no laughing matter. I see an increasing number of negative comments about the status of relationships and the lack of emotional bonding with spouses and children. The majority of people are blaming being shut in at home, why hasn’t it sunk into people’s mind that this is a situation that is crucial to save lives. However, being sheltered in place has brought out the true nature of people’s personalities. 

Couples are claiming to be forced to remain under the same roof. I used the word FORCED because this is the language I observe people using in various postings on Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok that describe being trapped into spending time at home with family. I come to the conclusion that people are in deep reflection about the level of commitment towards their partner. Question, Do you exist in your relationship with one foot in, and the other foot on the other side of the door?  

Do you pay attention to how people list their relationship status on their social media pages? For the people who use the word Complicated when describing their relationship, I say,  this is an insult. If being sheltered in place for safety with the individual you cohabitate with has brought you to a level of discomfort, that you crave to run out into a virus filled world, where an  invisible disease can and will snuff out your life faster than the speed of light. If this is how you feel then yes, you should evaluate why you settled in a relationship or situation ship, that you’ve developed contempt and resentment towards your partner, who is probably not aware that you have been practicing social and emotional distancing before the corona virus rolled into town.   

To all the people who have been faking their commitment and over the last few weeks you were not able to sneak out, avoid, stay away, and lie about working overtime to slide around with your side piece and be unfaithful. You have been prohibited from going to bars, and hanging out with your single friends to escape a relationship that you now recognized as not being up to the standard you hoped it would be.  

What’s really happening is that at this time people have been brought face to face with what they  have been trying to escape. Relationships are not being destroyed; they were already damaged before we were ordered to shelter. in place. Question, when was the last time you’ve been honest with yourself that your boo, bae, ride or die, your soul mate or life partner: that the thrill is gone and you’re not into the relationship as you once were?  Before this period of being shut in people were good at leaving, avoiding and using physical and emotional distancing, instead of dealing with the crisis in their relationships. 

I think that it is sad that people will use this crisis as an excuse to break off relationships that were already at a dead end. My heart goes out to the hopeless romantic who hope that living so closely that their disconnection between them and their spouse will be strengthened, after many years of neglect, emotional distance and denial.  The reality is that at this point some people have no desire to put in the work to save a relationship simply because they have CHECKED OUT. There is no good time to abandon a relationship that you have vowed to be committed to for the long haul. However, to abandon a family and a  spouse during a time of panic, fear, uncertainty, chaos, depression, and financially upheaval is shameful.

 

What Say You? 

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen

 

 

   

This is not the time for Foolishness

Dear readers,

I have noticed an increasing number of people on social media posting negative comments about the government stimulus package. I’m not trying to be a hard- ass, but these are serious times and joking about a financial resource that’s going to help some people through this crisis, isn’t funny to me or did I miss the memo. So, while people are posting negative comments about the stimulus checks think about how many children are hungry, people being threatened with eviction, large number of homes with both parents out of work, women who are suffering from domestic violence, children living in home where they are being abused, families who are loosing husbands, wives, sisters, brothers and other members of their family to the Virus. People are afraid and living a day to day of uncertainty. Please show some intelligence and compassion.💖. Some people really need this money.

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen.

 

Storms’ come to make you

Dear Readers, My name is J. R. Floyd the creator of Drathepen, the author of “The Waiting Game & a different Flavor of Love”.  My latest accomplishment is my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd, dedicated to discussing issues that impact our relationships, men & women empowerment,  and exploring the destruction of the family. This year ( 2020) I challenged my readers to join me as I write Letters to Self. Each month I pick a topic and write a letter to self that I share on live streaming on Facebook and  You tube. Thus far, I have read Jan, Dear 2019, a farewell to the old year, February was Dear Love, March ,Dear Life, and below is the letter for April. this letter is to the people who support me,nand for all the people who are holding onto the end of their rope.

            

 

Dear, supporters, viewers, and readers, this is for you. What do you do when life constantly hits you with storms from all sides? I am currently at the start of what could develop into a mega storm, but I refused to lay down and be drowned by the waves of fear, anger and worry.  I am fighting back. I had plans for the way 2020, but it seems I am getting off to a slow and rough start. I know what you’re saying, we are only four months into the new year, give it some time and things will turn around. Yeah, OK, there might be some truth in that advice, but  time waits for no one and if I don’t get up now and revise my plans the year might turn out to be like all the other years when I waited and waited for change that did not come. Before my transformation into living life with better clarity, purpose and vision the old me would have laid down and allowed the world to stomp on me. I allowed the naysayers and the negative conversation in my head to convince me that my goals ain’t worth pushing through the obstacles that come to steal my joy.

 I won’t be satisfied living through another year sitting on the sideline whining and blaming life for what it did not bring to me. And, yes, it is mentally, emotionally, physically draining and disappointing to sit down, plot out a plan, craft a vision board, and set everything in motion only to be blocked by problem after problem. For a moment I did cease all activity. I folded my arms like a two year old and stomped my feet. So, after I recovered from my tantrum, I sat down and regrouped. Some deadlines will be pushed back. I will have to dig a little deeper and work more overtime to bring in the extra cash I need for my new video lights, the photo session for my website, for the new mobile phone that I desperately need. 

When in doubt I encourage you to take a moment and think about why you set goals and made plans. When in doubt I am going to continue to believe that I can and will achieve what I set out to do,which is to to continue to make my vision a reality.  I have conquered many mountains to arrive where I am today. I am enjoying the creative person I have become. I appreciate the lessons I am learning while rebuilding my life after three years of loss and devastation. Through all of the darkness I have emerged a better, charmer, happier person with a purpose and vision for my life. I am excited about working on my five year retirement and relocation plan. At this point in my life I do not have the leisure to sit around and whittle my thumbs. This is my chance, my time, my opportunity to achieve all the things that I have pushed back, rescheduled, and given up on because I thought they were unreachable and that I wasn’t worthy of living my best life. I no longer hold other people accountable for my happiness. I set expectations for myself and hold myself responsible. And, yes, with all of life’s ups and downs there can be better days. I look back on the downtime as lessons towards brighter days. I wake up each morning looking forward to life because I finally have the chance to make my life the way I want it to be. Everyday isn’t perfect and that’s okay. 

I am here to tell you that storms pass, and no matter the destruction they leave behind there is always a reason to be thankful and the chance to reflect, rebuild, and discover something new.

 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

The Sweet Smell of Peace

Dear Readers, 

Since we’ve been under the order to socially disconnect these are some words, emotions, and feelings people are expressing either verbally or posted on social media. Anger, panic, fear, disbelief, shock, depression, sadness, worry, uncertainly, outrage, and not to mention sleepless nights.The one word I don’t hear anyone verbalizing is PEACE. Today, my mission is to uplift you and to be the voice of HOPE.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When life becomes a little chaotic, take a moment and say the word PEACE. When PANIC starts to smother you breathe and think PEACE. If  ANGER, FRUSTRATION, and CONFUSION cloud your mind scream out the word PEACE. We seem to live in a time of SADNESS, DEPRESSION, WORRY, and UNCERTAINTY that leads to sleepless nights. 

Take a moment to be still and breathe in the sweet smell of PEACE. 

Photo by rovenimages.com on Pexels.com

Season of Reflection

 

Dear Readers,

Hello and Good day. We are entering the season of Lent. A time to withdraw into a quiet place for reflection, fasting and abstinence. Most people view this 40 days of reflection as something they have to give up. I encourage you to think about this LENTEN season as a time for prayer and to disconnect from the people, places and things that hinder your emotional and spiritual growth. During this LENTEN season I have decided to disconnect from social media and HULU. Yes, I am a big HULU watcher. However, I will continue to post my Conversations with J. R. Floyd videos. I pray that all goes well for you during this season of LENT.