Category: Random Thoughts

2017 Year in review

Dear readers,

I confess, guilty as charged, I am happy to say farewell to 2017; a year of tremendous physical, mental, spiritual, and financial struggles. In the process of reading, this please resists the urge to play the world smallest violin. This is not the ranting of a person who considers themselves a victim of life’s discomforts. I am in need of answers as to why since I decided to transform myself from a an unskilled, under paid healthcare worker, to earning a Master’s in Education, self-publishing two novels and while on this journey of reinventing myself, I’ve experienced very few highs and an enormous amount of lows.

Recently, I was displaced from my home of six years due to a Grinch of a property owner, who did not give me enough notice to locate a decent and affordable apartment. The word roommate has always terrified me, but almost being homeless has taught me that, what we fear, we may one day have to face. Currently, I have two roommates. A year and I am still trying to cope with the anger of having to abruptly dismantle my beautiful one bedroom apartment; and downsize to a large room. Therefore, I ate, ate, ate stuffing myself with sweets, bags of delicious greasy potato chips, pretzels, breads, and fried foods; anything to ease the pain and soften my bitterness. I have eaten my way into twenty extra pounds that I am charged with loosing or face developing some unwanted health issues that will complicate my life further.

Oh, it gets better.

After a long absence from the drama of dating, I met two middle-aged men (57-60) I felt at least one would be a good match. Wrong! Both were losers looking to relive the glory days of their youth. They want young, sexy, and perky girls. What a joke, who are they kidding, these old saggy men who private parts have more mileage than a grey hound bus.

Breath this is too much …….

Between moment of insanity and reality I stopped to think about my 22-year-old handsome nephew, newly college graduate, on October 4, 2017 he decided he no longer wanted to live. He held a gun to his head and in one clean shot ended his life.

I conclude we live in a society where individualism and greed is the norm; and we, us, and they  have been forgotten. Compassion has been replaced with hatred; and the creed “Am I my brother’s keeper” is now “mind your own business.” Moreover, genuine love can no longer be found in a society that is ruled by materialism and the mentality of Dog eats dog. To his I say,

Good riddance to 2017, Hello 2018 let the games begin.

 

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Normal isn’t normal anymore

Dear Readers,

 

People are speculating about the reason for the sudden increase of mass shootings, and other acts of terrorism. Some blame religious fanatics others claim random acts of evil. An interesting theory came from a colleague who suggests that we are the cause for these terrible events. He explains that it is our collective thinking and behavior. He also believes that society is void of   basic acts of humanity, in addition, to lacking the ability to connect to simple emotions that binds us to the one true race, the human race. We stand firm in the continued practice of segregation, based on race, gender, and religious beliefs. There are those among us who are committed to the rule of a superior race deeming all others inferior. The greed of corporate America putting profits over people, instituting the practice of ruling their employees by fear, thus instilling anger, bitterness and resentment into the minds of those who are just trying to make ends meet. Genuine love and living by the motto “I am my Brother’s Keeper” is a long forgotten value. This country has given into foul play each time a particular group of people screams injustice. We live in a society where Reality TV is the norm, the conversation of the day is what happened on the show Empire, while this generation runs rampaged exploring sexuality to the tenth level; not to mention that teaching morals, ethics and good values is no longer on Americas’ agenda. We are spinning out of control, and to make matters worse, our world and religious leaders are still playing the game of separation of church and state. Therefore, these incidents will continue to happen until we decide collectively to think about the good of the one true race, the human race.

 

What Say You?

The American Dream

Dear readers,

Many people never imagined that it would come to this. The naysayers laughed at the announcement of the new immigration laws shaking their heads in disbelief and concluding that it is too late to do anything about the large number of undocumented “Dreamers.” “Dreamers” failed to understand that this government does not play fair. There are many reasons cited by the department of Immigration and Naturalization for taking a tough position towards Dreamers.

  • The leaders of this country argue that the over flow of “illegal immigrants” are over taxing an already burdensome economy. It has been reported that there is a large number of immigrants who receive entitlements more than American born citizens.
  • American people are crying foul they say wages are down and the jobs are few. However, some argue that the culpability of a corrupt system designed to hire cheap labor, in order to keep the poor, poorer, and the rich richer.
  • Last, but not least, the New York City Housing Authority claim that there are many undocumented immigrants adding to an already crowded housing shortage.

Not so long ago when immigrants crossed the shores to come to the United States of these Americas, they pass Lady Liberty, she said, “Give us your tired, your poor….” Now the government seems to have grown tired of their poor.

What Say You?

You Said That?

Dear readers,

When you tweet a statement you cannot take it back. Nowadays the trend is to say something politically incorrect, press send, say Oops, then tweet a retraction.  An apology does not make what was said go away. The reality is your rant is a reflection of how you feel. Hiding behind phrase like, “I used the wrong words’ or “it was insensitive” and “what I said was taken out of content” does not excuse or erase the insults that targets a particular group. Not every idea or thought needs to be spoken aloud. You are entitled by the first Amendment to have your say. However, what I do not approve of is using the press or social media as a platform to disrespect, degrade, humiliate, and air personal grievance.

The bottom line think before you press SEND.

What Say You?

Ready Set Go!

Dear readers,

When arriving at a reasonable age of maturity, making a fresh start is difficult. The modern term for feeling tapped out or hitting rock bottom requires one to push the RESET button, the question is how?

I spent years working dead-end jobs, so I pushed the RESET button, and at the age of twenty-eight grindmy way through college. The payoff was an entry-level position at a Theatre Company as a junior manager. Diligently working my way up and after thirteen years, upper management said to me that I had “Hit the Glass Ceiling.”

RESET

I achieved another degree in Education and advanced from teaching in public school to the position of college adjunct lecturer. Once again I knocked on the door of the Chairperson, and was told that my years of experience and dedication to my students has not gone unnoticed, but, I need a DOCTORATE to acquire full-time status.

RESET

Years of living comfortable, independently and privately in my own space, I had to down size and relocate to a closet size apartment. There are days that all I have the energy to do is sit in my favorite chair sipping Merlot and thinking “REALLY.”

RESET

I am going to make peace with my tiny living quarters. Maybe living like a minimalist is what I need. By June 2017, I will complete my final Thesis, not for an advancement in my career, but for personal satisfaction, and I shall remain dedicated to my students. I no longer feel the need to seek approval from an Institution that bends the rules to accommodate some, but play by the book with others.

Maybe it is time to take my finger off the RESET button and press fast-forward.

What Say you?

The Truth of the Matter

Dear readers,

This is not an attempt to sound preachy nor am I speaking out against people who believe in God. I was raised in a Judo-Christine home. My father the late Rev. Joseph N. Floyd sr. taught his twelve children no matter their lot in life, be respectful, kindness and above all hold onto hope and faith.

I said that to say this….

These days people seen to be angry at God or the Devil.

People in the church seem to think that the devil is blamed for war, famine, and a failed economy. I beg to differ. This is not the work of the devil. The true evil drives from the greed of power-hungry individuals, working collectively to destroy the lives of people who they deem unworthy to live a prosperous life. Yet, these same individuals continuously quote “That all men are created equal.”

There are questions concerning the presence of God. Like, why does God let terrible things happen to good people? Why does God watch people suffer? Why won’t God answer prayers, or give people the things they need? I remember a Judy Blume book I read “Are you their God it’s me Margaret?” A story about a young girl who prayed night after night for bigger breasts and when it didn’t happen …well you can guess the outcome.

People in the religious world blames the SIINERS for creating the SINS that cause people to turn their backs on GOD. The church claims that people in the secular world belief is “In God We Trust.” The individuals in the spiritual world accuse the non-believers in trusting too much in “earthly wealth” instead of earning their place in heaven by doing honorable deeds on earth. The non-believer’s counterargument is that believers are too passive and spend too much time praying, hoping, wishing, and waiting for life to get better, instead of making it better they wait for some invisible God to do it for them.

Mega churches are being built, but who are they helping? Politicians make promise of making life better for the less fortunate during an election year, only to get into office then cut programs for the same people who BELIEVED they would make a difference.  PASTORS of these mega churches are preaching a message of better days and a better life and all people must do is believe?

The finger pointing can go on and on between the believers and the non-believers the real question is, how can we come together and make this world a better place regardless of our own personal beliefs?

What say you?

 

 

 

Oh the Horror!

Dear readers,

It started at the age of 30. I secured my freedom on the road to becoming self-sufficient. The delicious thrill of being on my own, living, thinking and having time for me.

Rewind……….

I was married at the age of 24. The first two years was stella. The last four years were like scenes from Dante’s Inferno. At the age of 30 with the help of my family and friends I escaped.

Fast-forward…….

Twenty three years later, four degrees, one self-published novel, three successful seasons singing first Soprano with the New York City Downtown Chorus, and a supporting role in the Christian play “Oh Lord Why did I get Married?”

Hooray you say job well done.

So, why do I feel like a failure? Years of working three-part time jobs to pay for college and to keep a roof over my head. The end results I haven’t gotten that high paying dream career I worked so diligently to have.

I thought at this stage I would have a better partner to settle into a long-term loving relationship. Another pipe dream lost. The final blow I live in a state (New York City) where the landlord’s greed rules and even though everyone’s money is the color of green, if a person is white and can pay higher rent they are privileged to live in the best neighborhoods.

I am faced with making the choice of sharing an apartment after living in my own space for twenty-three years. I ask myself over and over, How can I co-habitate with a stranger? I am a clean freak, who likes a quite home, a peaceful home is important for me to keep my sanity.

OMG. The fear of seeing someone’s boyfriend coming out of the bathroom in his underwear. Someone eating my food or secretly going through my belongings. The real estate market is such that living on one’s own would require working a tremendous number of hours to cover the rent alone.

Today, I had an appointment at a roommate finders’ agency, the realtor asked me” what am I willing to give up  to acquire a place where I can have all my belongings with me, and to make a fresh start.”

At this present moment, I don’t know how to answer that question.

What say you?