Is today the day?

Dear Readers,

Have you ever asked yourself, ” is today the day?” until my recent adventure driving cross country, I’ve never pondered this question. While on the road I was caught up in site seeing and overwhelmed by the beauty of the land. I didn’t have time to think about my misspend youth, tramadic relationships, or the next step in my healing process. I didn’t take any self help books, nor did I journal about my past emotional trauma. When I returned home my thoughts drafted towards ways to carve out more vacation time, and weekend get aways, how to make changes to my work schedule, and cut back on others projects.

I don’t have problems with the healing process, what I take issues with is this no one told me when the process would be over. I’ve been engrossed in finding answers, asking why, and stewing in anger and resentment towards the people involved in the trauma of my past. I’ve waited for years for a Tah – Dah the announcement or approval that it is safe for me to begin living, trusting, believing, to meet new people, and to discover a sincere emotionally balanced intimate connection with a partner I feel safe with, instead of being neglected and abused.

During my time on the road I experiencied true freedom. I didn’t feel the weight from the pain of my past, my adventure cross country showed me how long I’ve been under the strain of the darkness of depression and fear that I forgot how to walk in the life of joy, happiness, peace, adventure, to develop loyal friendships, and reconnect with family. I thought the safe thing to do was to shut myself off and build up walls. I voted never again. My negative thinking dragged me deeper into a pit of dispire.

This is the day, year, and time for me to stop hiding behind the fear of making mistakes. This is the day to silence the angry voices that I have allowed to hold me back. Today, is the day that I trust myself to live and walk forward with caution.

Is today your day to be free?

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

The way things used to be

Ladies, may I gentlely suggest that you cease being angry because you were delivered from relationships or a situation that did not honor you, but only brought you pain and brokeness. Despite the negative messages from society being single whether by force or choice should be viewed as a gift and not a death sentence.

Think about this. When you were in that relationship or situationship with the person you thought you couldn’t live without, did you feel safe, respected, loved and protected? Were your needs besides the physical ones attended to or did you feel abandoned? Were your dreams, vision and goals nurtured, supposed and encouraged? How many times promise were broken, lies were told, and you struggled with conflicts of suspected infidelity because you had to worry about them, they, he, she, or her being a part of what you thought was an exclusive situations. And you wonder why you have trust issues.

Did you wait your turn in line because you weren’t a priority? Count the times you gave or lent money because bae, boo, your ride or die knew you wouldn’t say no. You broke up, he, she, they, or them begged their way back into your life. Why, because when your alone you allow feelings of desperation, loneliness, lust, and the voice of others advising you to move on, and you do, you fall right back into the same destructive patterns in the next situationship.

Why am I saying all of this? Because this use to be me. No, my truth doesn’t reflect the experiences of others, but I know that their is more than a few women reading this that have walked in these shoes. I am not a relationship guru, I am a women who have walked on the dark side of more than one dysfunctional situationship. In 2015, I wrote my first book The Waiting Game, where I reveal my personal experiences about how men and women who are emotional broken and how we mistreat each other in relationships.

It’s taken me years to heal from the damage caused by an horrible childhood, and the trauma due to abusive relationships. It wasn’t until I made the choice to put me first, and stood firm on who I would and would not allow in my life as friends and intimate partners. I am truly happy for my journey. I understand the gift of being single and using this time to heal, reflect, renew, and discover who I am, and my path. I am maturing spiritually and developing a stronger emotional foundation. It’s been 4 years and I am learning so much about life. I have discovered the joys of traveling, truly enjoying my own company, I relish my freedom, I protect my peace, and most important, I support, love, encourage, inspire, and provide myself the life I know that I deserve, and it is amazing.

I hope I have inspired you.
Love yourself

Road Warriors part 2

Hello, fellow bloggers. I am back home in the Big Apple 🍎 the starting point of my drive across country. This was my first time on such a journey, and my bucket list attempt to visit all 50 states, this far I can check off 22 states, including the current one for the his year 2021( New Jersey, PA., Ohio, Indiana,, Chicago, Wisconsin, Minasota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Utah, Arizona, Navada, Las Vegas, Los Angeles). While on the road I took notes and have gained useful knowledge for my next tour across America, that I am hoping will take place next year Summer of 2022.
What this Road Trip taught me.

  1. Research, I didn’t do much research on my own I left that up to my driving partner. Next time around I am pouring myself into doing my own research, and asking questions. I am joining groups that chat and blog about their experience driving cross country. On our next adventure we are hoping to cover the southern states in a camper van, cutting down on eating on the road, and hotel cost.
  2. Be prepared for the unexpected. We stayed in motels, some where fairly reasonable ( between$ 65- 80) depending on the state. What we discovered was the motels around major tourists sites like, Mountain Rushmore were extremely expensive.The night we pulled into town we had just driven between 400- 500 miles, and my sweet road warrior need to get off the road. Our mistake we didn’t plan ahead, by selecting the sites, and pricing the hotels ahead of time. For this reason for our next journey we are preparing to put the money into a camper van, instead of hotels. ( Talked to a lot of people who were traveling by RV and Campers they were extremely helpful).
  3. This being our first experience with driving cross country, we barely made it on the money we saved. It’s a good thing that I packed a cooler, brought a case of water and Gatorade, stopped at family dollar and loaded up on snacks. We were lucky to find a few places on the road that made great sandwiches for $4.00. Since we are not big meat eaters, at night inside our hotel I made fresh salads, sandwiches and fruit salads. We ate at diners, ( we were surprised by the low prices), we never ate fasts foods, and thank goodness for Dennys $4.00 breakfast, Golden Corrall and for free breakfast at a few motels.
  4. Next trip there will be extra cash on hand, for the unexpected, and to pay for parking and site fees. No use of credit cards, which I did not use, but my driving partner was in charge of gas he used his credit card. I traveled with a prepaid visa/ debit card and it worked out great, and I will suggest this to him to do the same.
  5. For our next adventure we will map out and study each route, where and when to stop, what time, and how many miles to travel. More research on where the camp grounds are located, and how far are the sites we want to visit, parking cost, sites admission fees, estimated gas cost.

Our second drive across country will be our last, the goal is to cover at least 5-6 states.

I loved our first adventure, but the next time around we will be better prepared. If anyone has any advice to share please do so it will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen and joining us on our first road warrior trip.

My road warrior

Five Days

My life friend and road warrior

Dear Readers, 

Remember the saying,” home is where the heart is?” This is what I was thinking during my five day tour across America.  Let me explain. I have two routines I am accustomed to performing in the morning and evening, the way I start and end my day truly makes a difference. I do not like chaos or noise to greet me in the morning.  I like taking my time sipping coffee,  reading a daily meditation and reviewing  my daily To Do List. In the evening I enjoy quiet time. I don’t talk on the phone, I am employed as an ESL teacher engaging in conversation throughout the day. I frown at loud music or playing the Television at a  volume that gives me a headache. I see evenings at home time to unwind and shake off the business of the day. I usually have a light dinner, maybe watch a movie,  look over my weekly calendar, and have a cup of my favorite tea Earl grey.  

During my five day drive across the country all of this changed and I found myself out of balance and becoming irritated by my road partner who interfered with my daily routines.

My journey across the country was an amazing adventure, but I didn’t  foresee  the clash of personalities. My road partner is a talented musician and actor who since the age of 17 have lived the lifestyle of a spoiled rock star. He knows nothing about  morning or evening rituals, he only knows one speed fast, and he likes everything  loud. His theory is if you can’t  feel it, what’s the point? 

On our second morning when I was taking longer than he thought was necessary to get back on the road he would pace the floor of our hotel room and repeatedly ask me if I was ready to go. His plan was to see as much as we could at each destination, and still cover 400 miles per day. At the end of each day he would throw himself in bed and turn on the Television blasting the volume disturbing my tea and quiet time. Once the volume  was so loud the front desk called to say that the other guests were complaining.  

By day four I was so frizzled because I was used to centering myself before each day and evening, and I found I wasn’t  enjoying being in his company, thus making the second half of our tour across America less enjoyable. Our final destination was his home in Southern California. During  the last 400 miles of our journey I began to feel uneasy about the plan to stay in California  for three days before returning to New York City. I  envisioned myself  there in his house, loud Tv and rock music banging in my head and he is a person who does not like to be asked to lower the volume. After crossing 10 states we arrived at his home. I immediately searched for a flight leaving early Friday morning, but no luck. I was trapped there until Saturday. When I told him that I planned to return home early he was shocked and When he asked why, I told him the truth.

He apologized and explained to me that he truly did not understand how important my morning and evening routine are to me. I decided to change my flight plans to stay longer. I do take some of the blame because I should have had a conversation with him before the journey. Although we have been friends for over twenty years, we have never been in such a close situation. I think we both learned something from this experience.

South Dakota

Long live the Purple Prince💜

Dear Readers,

Good afternoon. Day 4 our journey across America continues. We had the honor to visit Paisley Park, The home of the purple 💜 Prince. I was over come with emotions. For many Paisley Park is a tourist attractions, but for the millions of people on this plant who loved and respected Prince, his music, generosity, and his many gifts of humanitarian. We thank you for giving us a look inside of a place where you love, laughed, and created.In the words of his purpleness, ” Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life…and if the elevator tries to take you down press a higher floor”

the purple Prince

We are road warriors

Dear Readers, in case you just joined me and my road warrior, we are on day two of our drive a Cross country from New York City to California. Thus far in total we have covered 1400 miles and 8 states.

We are at the end of Day 2. Starting point Indiana, stopping at Chicago, Wisconsin, ending the day in Cannon Falls Minnesota, a total of 700 miles for today. Stay tune for our first surprise stop over on day 3. Goodnight America 💘

the sites are amazing

thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

154 miles to Chicago

Good morning ☀️ America ❤️ day 2 of our cross country drive from New York City to California. We had an amazing relaxing night in Fort Wayne Indiana. Breakfast at cracker barrel back on the road headed to Chicago. Later….

my life partner and road warrior

Our cross country adventure.

Dear Readers,

The journey just begun

Today is the day. I am checking off my bucket list a life long dream of driving cross country from New York to California.Thus far day one my amazing driver took me through rough rain storms from New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio.We stopped in Indiana for a good night’s rest. The plan for day 2, stop in Chicago spend some time before moving on. I am excited and blessed.

before the rain
Thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

Welcome to our Adventure

Dear Readers,

Good morning 🌞 America!!! It’s been years in the making and it’s finally happening. Day 1 of our greatest adventure. We are driving cross country from New York City to California, stopping in ten states. This is a major life changing event. We keep you posted 😜

My life partner and road warrior