Desperation & Dysfunctional Relationships

Dear Readers,

Do not allow loneliness and despair to lead to desperation resulting in being trapped in a dysfunctional relationship that does not honor who you are. We all have heard the saying that loneliness kills, and so does being in a relationship that does not honor who God created you to be.

Ladies, when you allow the negative voices in your head to engage you in conversation about lonely is caused by you do not have a man in your life. And the relationship is going to cure your loneliness, and bring you all that you need. Here are some thoughts to think about before you agree with those voices.

• Beware of the large population of men who have no good intention towards you when they sense that you are desperate, they use your eagerness to please to control the situation. Why are you willing to give your power, and willing to submit to ill treatment all because you are thankful to have a man in your life
• What value is this man bringing into your life? What purpose is he serving in your life? Some of these deceivers have swift tongues and deviant minds. Their plan is to milk you for all that you have and in the meantime, you become so blinded by your desire to HAVE A Man, that you don’t see the emotional devastation you will have to recover from when he leaves and he will leave

 

Do not listen to the myths that people are throwing at you?

• Except any men who are interested in a relationship with you because age might be a factor, or you might be single mother, this is not a reason to settle, in fact, there is no REASON TO SETTLE.
• When you settle your saying that I do not deserve a partner who will respect, value, honor, show compassion, support, see your worth, and express concern in all matters of your life. You want to feel protected and up lifted by your partner.
• Do not become some man’s side piece because you think that you are getting what you need without a true comment ( this is a degrading situationship)
• Question, Are you currently in a relationships that’s has ran it course and is no longer giving you the happiness that it used to, so you stay because you are afraid of being alone.

 

I know that there are women who are so afraid of being alone that they financially support men. Women except being verbal and emotionally abused by men who they know are not good for them, but their logic is that ANY MAN IS BETTER THAN NO MAN. I know of mothers who encourage their daughters to do all they can to keep a man even if that man is treating them disrespectful, the theory is that YOU BETTER HOLD ONTO YOUR MAN BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE GET HIM. There women who are searching for men through dating services only to be fool and conned by their lies and sob stories. Wake up! These men are hiding behind computers waiting for a victim not a soul mate.

When you allow the temporary feeling of loneliness to dictate giving up your power to men whose main goal is to drain your spirit, darken your soul, pillage your finances, and bring more confusion in your love than love and happiness

Ask yourself is it truly worth the damage and drama?

Here are some suggestions for your loneliness:

Find male friends that you can go out on a platonic date, intimacy comes in all forms

Go to event where there is single people looking to have a good time and enjoy the company of others without expectations.

Adopt a pet they need love pets make wonderful companions, and they are very loyal

Organize a girls night sleepover, but don’t waste the evening being depressed an talking about men

Take a class for fun, cooking, knitting, yoga, or join a gym or a community chorus

There are so many ways that you can combat loneliness and you can do so in a positive way. Heading into a relationship for the sole purpose of relieving yourself of loneliness without spending time truly getting to know the other person will only serve the purpose of opening the door for some serious drama.

What say you?

 

 

1+1=1

Photo by shahbaz Akram on Pexels.com

Dear Readers,

It’s been almost a year since I created my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd. The bases for creating this channel is to converse about relationship issues, explore men and women empowerment, and teach the foundation of family. When people consent to engage in a partnership it should be based upon capability and the understanding that there should be a certain level of individualism. Meaning maintaining individual identities while developing the partnership. A partnership contains two people with individuals ideas and experiences a partner is a helpmate and should be treated as an equal in all areas of the partnership.

Some people are under the delusion that 1 +1= 1 what kind of math is this? This concept of two people becoming one has been taken out of context people who think this way is because they are insecure and want to place themselves in the position of the controller. In the a partnership there is two individuals with different likes, different political beliefs, eating and sleeping habits this is what is meant by being an individual. I wonder if people pay attention to each other’s habits and behaviors. Instead, they become caught up in the infatuation of sexual lust and other emotions.They become blind to their differences by spending too much time on what makes them compatible ignoring the little pet peeves and faults.

In the beginning of a partnership people pretend to be interested in what their partner is doing, but sooner than later the truth is revealed. Over a period of time one person begins to feel that they are being nagged into joining their significant other in activities what they once said they enjoyed. The myth behind their action is that they went along to impress their partner, and this is where the trouble begins. Another myth, people are taught that whatever their partner is interested they should take part, I say, this is not always true. No one should be dragged and nagged into taking part in activities that they have no interest.

We observe this behavior all around us pay attention the next time you’re at an event or you hear your friend ranting about how they are trying to come up with a plan or an excuse to get out of an activity with their partner but they don’t. People use the excuse that this is what people do when they care about each other, I say, no one should be pushed, bamboozled with guilt into doing things they brings them no joy.

Capability is important and allowing people to be who they are is also equally important to the stability of the partnership. Truly accepting people for who they are without finding way to change them should not be a relationship requirement. I previously said that at the start of the courtship people are not observant of their potential partners habits and interests. People don’t pay attention to what is said and what is not said. I understand it is easy to get caught up in emotions because everything is fresh and new. But this is how many partnership break down and eventually there is a separation. You and your mate are individuals stop trying to rebuild them by taking away their interest or insisting that they change the course of their life and who they are. It is important for the foundation and the longevity of the partnership to respect, support and encourage individual interest while developing common interest as partners. Balance,space, acceptances and capability is important ingredients for a happy partnership.

What say you? Please join me on my YouTube Channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd

When the time Comes

Greetings from the mad Dater,

When is it time for a make over? A chance for a new start,to press the reset button. Life is constantly changing, and lately I’ve been feeling like life is happening without me being an active participate, staying in the same comfort zone due to the fear of  venturing out into the unknown; afraid of rejection.  I’ve styles my hair in the same way for 20 years.  My manner of dressing lacks flair. elegance and sophistication. As time went by I let my appearance go. It doesn’t matter what others think of me because when I look in the mirror, I don’t enjoy looking at the person who is looking back.

So, with that said, I’ve had my  consultation with a hair stylist and the booked  an appointment; discussed with my fashionista girlfriends about my new attire. In the meantime, I have religiously kept my  bi-weekly mani-pedicure  appointment, I am back in the gym and eating healthy again, good-bye sugar and carbs.

It’s time for Change. I am excited. Here are a few before pictures…stay tuned for the after …

WHAT SAY YOU?