Is today the day?

Dear Readers,

Have you ever asked yourself, ” is today the day?” until my recent adventure driving cross country, I’ve never pondered this question. While on the road I was caught up in site seeing and overwhelmed by the beauty of the land. I didn’t have time to think about my misspend youth, tramadic relationships, or the next step in my healing process. I didn’t take any self help books, nor did I journal about my past emotional trauma. When I returned home my thoughts drafted towards ways to carve out more vacation time, and weekend get aways, how to make changes to my work schedule, and cut back on others projects.

I don’t have problems with the healing process, what I take issues with is this no one told me when the process would be over. I’ve been engrossed in finding answers, asking why, and stewing in anger and resentment towards the people involved in the trauma of my past. I’ve waited for years for a Tah – Dah the announcement or approval that it is safe for me to begin living, trusting, believing, to meet new people, and to discover a sincere emotionally balanced intimate connection with a partner I feel safe with, instead of being neglected and abused.

During my time on the road I experiencied true freedom. I didn’t feel the weight from the pain of my past, my adventure cross country showed me how long I’ve been under the strain of the darkness of depression and fear that I forgot how to walk in the life of joy, happiness, peace, adventure, to develop loyal friendships, and reconnect with family. I thought the safe thing to do was to shut myself off and build up walls. I voted never again. My negative thinking dragged me deeper into a pit of dispire.

This is the day, year, and time for me to stop hiding behind the fear of making mistakes. This is the day to silence the angry voices that I have allowed to hold me back. Today, is the day that I trust myself to live and walk forward with caution.

Is today your day to be free?

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

Awareness & Clarity

Dear readers,

Recently I have been on a journey exploring who I am and what I want out of life. This period of deep reflection, discovery and renewal helped me to discover how I have allowed myself to be distracted by the standards of the world and how struggling to live up to the expectations of others lead me down a path of distraction.

Fed UP

Dear Readers,

Black men are accusing black women of being angry, having bad attiudes, and difficult to be in relationships. So, here is the voice of one black women speaking out. It’s not only black women who seem to be angry and have bad attitudes, Its women in general. Women are kicking back against years of mistreatment, degradation and the forceful eyes of the male gaze. Black men are oblivious to the shift of women collectively pushing back from accepting the statues quo of how women are supposed to submit to her man. Yeah, well maybe the submissive act work back in cave men day, we are living in a advanced and modern society; where women no longer have to sit down and shut up. We have risen from the days of sufferage transforming themselves into self sufficient, educated, capable women who have disconnected ourselves from the ideology that women are supposed to be bare foot and pregnant. Women have overcome the standard norm of just being somebody’s wife, housekeeper and sexual object. Women no longer choose to reside in homes where their opinions and voices are not respected because the man Is the sole financial supporter of the home. Women are told that running after children, washing tons of laundry, overseeing homework and other school projects, serving on the PTA, cooking, cleaning, organizing carpools, braiding hair, food shopping, and balancing a tight household budget is not equal to a man bringing home a paycheck. Black Women are done with being held down, keep back, control, abused, manipulated, underpaid, and underappreciated.

So, if black men perceive black women to be angry maybe its because black men have for years gotten away with running games on them, passing black women around like rent-a- chicks, over looking them for white women, dropping seeds and not staying around for financial, physical, and emotional support for their children. Instead, black men want to spend the bulk of their lives being a player, pusher, and pimp daddy drifting from one ignorant sister to the next because some young black women haven’t discovered their self worth. Most black men are afraid of black women who are strong, focused, critical thinkers, financially secure, and emotionally stable. Sistahs have risen above the slick talk and promises of a better day, we are no longer falling prey to the black man’s idea of ” lets just see where this takes us .” Black women have become wise to the game of giving brothers the best years of their lives. Black women are not angry they are fed up with irresponsible, emotional unstable, financial lacking, unfocused, non committing black men. So, we are no longer sitting and waiting for a black prince charming who may never arrive. Black women are buying homes, cars, raising children, earning college degrees, and pulling in six figure salaries. So, to all the black men in the world who accuse black women of being angry and hard to get along with, I say, from where I stand anger looks good on me. The voice of a black women.

What say you?