We are what We Think

Dear Readers,

The challenges of the LGBTQ community I know not, here’s what I  have observed the emotional, physical and psychological turmoil that some individuals encounter, and  the population most effected young adults who seldom loose connection with their family due to coming out. I approach writing about some of the problems within the LGBTQ community with much hesitance. This posting is not about religious or political correctness, or who is right or wrong. I am writing this from a viewpoint of observing people mistreated, demeaned and in a few cases lives taken, such as in the case of Matthew Shepard his murder gave the nation a deep and disturbing look at hate crimes committed against people in the LBGTQ community. In Detroit, two Gay men and A Transgender women were murdered because they were a part of the LGBTQ community. The labels of being sick, perverse, unnatural, evil, an abomination, freaks, perverts, and many other countless ways angry heterosexuals refer to people of the LGBTQ community. Heterosexual men and women are afraid that their own sexuality will be questioned if they are in the company of LGBTQ people. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and the deeply religious people pride their Christian faith on, “loving thy neighbors as thy self,” but little love and support is expressed towards the population of young adults who are struggling to find their space in a society that condemns them. The LGBTQ community have made progress in helping to create laws that protects them, the question is why should they need protection under the banner of the Declarations of  Independence that declares that ” all men are created equal”  which can be interpreted as ” all of humanity”. I say, it is unfair for a people to have to fight for recognition and inclusion in a society that deems them outcasts’ because of who they choose to love and simply for being whom they are. If any of my readers interrupt, my voice as  taking sides and supporting the LGBTQ community, my response is that I am supportive of people, humanity,  and their right to have “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” We cannot as a nation continue to be selective of who can and cannot be protected under the law.

It seems so easy to HATE than to open our hearts and minds towards understanding and compassion. I have witnessed and know of many cases where children are turned out of their homes because they came out to their family. I hear Ministers preaching with vigor about the abomination of being a part of the LGBTQ community, yet the church is overran with corruption, Pastors stepping down due to misconduct, discrimination, adultery, and thievery. I state this boldly, having been a daughter of a Pastor, and witnessed these acts of sin within the wall of a place that is supposedly to be a house of worship for all and a safe haven. Moreover, for the Bible toting believers in Christ, who’s only defense is to quote Genesis 2:18, I remind my readers that the Bible has been written and rewritten more time than we can count by men. The public’s opinion and judgment against the LGBTQ community is simply that their way of life is wrong, however, strong this opinion, no one have presented factual events as to why they are wrong. History has proven that there has been same sex couple since the creation of the first civilization. We as a society have become accustomed to offering our voices towards the discrimination of individuals and groups we feel do not fit into a certain standard. Look back at our history Slavery, Immigrants, the poor, the uneducated, gender bias that led to the 1920’s women’s suffrage movement and other feminists movements, and people who are born with mental and physical disabilities. In today’s, modern society we continue to classify individuals based on income, class, skin color, body sizes, and preference of hairstyles. The problems that is tarnishing our ability to live in peace is the continued belief  that people should be judged based on what those in power think, and then the majority follows along without give thought to the lives that are affected due to actions of bigotry. We have learned nothing from our past, when will we as a nations in the word of the late Martin Luther King Jr, when will we live in society were people are not judged by anything but “the content of their character.”

 

To my readers, this is not the end, but the beginning; in 2020, I will produce a documentary based on the thoughts, experiences and lives of young adults who have been affected by coming out. Stay tuned….

 

What say you?  Dragthepen

To be a Man

Dear Readers,

Men have parts of them that are broken and need to be healed, but the standards set forth by society is this, men are indebted to the principles of the Maculine gender that requires them to “Confirm to the idea of Manliness” as quoted by Paul Theroux, On Being a Man. Therefore, to behave in any other manner besides what’s expected some men run the risk of being labeled or accused of stepping outside their assigned gender role.

As part of my role as a motivational coach for my brand Conversations with J. R. Floyd, my mission is to discuss issues that impact intimate relationships, to empower men and women to be brave and examine their brokenness as the first step on the path to healing.

Recently, I was called upon by one of my male viewers who also happens to be a former students of mine. He need a face to face coaching session his issue, he ended a relationship that he now says was a mistake.
When we meet my first question to him: “ Why did he broke off the relationship?”
His answer: “ Because I am a man and I like to be in control.”
Me: silence.

While he continued to tell me what lead up to his decision, I thought back to our first meeting two years ago, this young man was hard core angry. As time went by he opened up and I discovered that his anger was a result of the lack of his mothers’ love. Despite this he matured right before my eyes and made it to graduation. I thought that he had conquered his anger issues. I don’t place 100 percent of the blame on him this is a 50/50 situation; he comes from a culture where men are expected to live up to “ MACHISMO”, secondly, he has been misled by all the myths on what it really makes a man, a man.

The bottom line he showed me an emotional side that other men would say makes him weak because he is showing emotions. Instead of sitting around his “ home boys” drinking and celebrating the fact that he showed her, his ex -girlfriend who is boss by breaking up with her, instead he called me for help. Other men would accused him of  being a punk for wanting to crawl back to a woman. When I looked in his eyes I saw pain and confusion. It is despairing that we live in a society where men are not allowed to connect to their emotions freely without judgement. The good things about this situation is that the young lady is willing to give him another chance, but she wants to see changes in his aggressive behavior. I gave him homework, he is to write in his journal each night, and he is to reserve every other saturday to pure dating, talking and just getting to know his partner, and she has agreed to be patient and take things very, very slow.

He left our first coaching session smiling and in his eyes I saw hope. I couldn’t help but think about all the young men in this world that are being raised to be a man, but they haven’t a clue about what being a man means.

What say you?

A Few Things I Want to Say

Dear Readers, there’s is a few things I would like to address, please bear  with me.

This new idea of a genderless society is a step towards taking away our individual identify. I have never been fond of the principle of assigned gender roles. I am a supporter of equal rights regardless of gender some people interrupt this as women’s desire to compete with men this thinking is wrong. It is by natural selection that we are given our gender and identity. Furthermore, due to advance science and technology parents are able to discover the gender of an embryo, so much for the elements of surprise. There is even speculation of future technology that will allow parents to select certain features that they deem desirable resulting in their children being born with certain characteristics that will allow them to an advantage over other children. This all seems so absurd and out of control. Remember Victor Frankenstein in Mary Shelley’s literary masterpiece Frankenstein. This narrative illustrates the consequences of man going beyond the order of nature. What I observe occuring in society is the reordering or recreating a world to fit the needs of particular groups of people who feel the need to create a society that is out of the natural order. In today’s society practicing morals and good value is no longer important.

Our leaders have failed to stand firm on issues of family values instead they bend to every movement and organizations that cry foul when they feel that their basic human rights have been violated due a difference of opinions on issues like same sex marriage, gender neutral restrooms, the right to life, affordable housing, and the right to earn a fair wage. We have become so divided that we challenge whose life matter more. Black lives matter, the me to movement, along with other movements only serves the purpose of further diminishing people based on race and gender. Not to mention the that we currently live in a ” except me as I am society” where being unhealthy and overweight is viewed as body shaming so the practice of encouraging obesity is expected. Even the religious people are fleeing from their houses of worship to join non denominational churches because they are at odds with the strict rules of religion.

This chaos has led to an increase level of anger. Am I the only one who notice the increasing number of people who are angry? People are short fused. Patients, sympathy, compassion, understanding and reasoning is something of the past. Anger seems to be the new way to express displeasure, venting, going into a rage, and spewing out insults is becoming a normal part of people’s character. People blame social media, the overcrowding of public transportation, long commutes, the daily grind of life, high unemployment, hopleness, and high levels of stress, the list can go on and on, but the plain true is people are angry. This anger is spilling out into everyday life. Parents are short tempered towards their children. Couples are fighting more than usual over the smallest issues turning their home into a battle ground. There seems to be more anger at the workplace thus creating an unpleasant and hostile work environment. In the service industry consumers and customer service representatives are at odds due to complaints of low quality serve. People who are employed as wait staff, hair industry, driver’s, retail, healthcare, phone representative, postal workers all have the same complaint. They deliver poor service because they are shown very little appreciation for the services they provide.

If I am painting a picture that the world is on a collision course with itself just think about what is currently taking place immigrants are the focus of this administration, no one is seeking solutions to high unemployment, the homeless, drug abuse, and the increasing numbers of business closing. The politicians are focused on their personal agenda and they have no regards for the people who elected them to protect and provide for our well being in order to build a stronger and better world for the sake of all humanity.
Does any of this make any sense? If so what say you?