Ladies are you making yourself too available?

Dear Readers,

 There are some omen who make themselves too available for men, and of course we know who benefits from this situation. I observe and personally acquainted with diverse women from various professions, earning power and education, who spend an increasing amount of hours  accommodating men. This post is in detail demonstrating a few areas where women are making mistakes  when dating or uncertain about their position in a situationship. One major problem with women who make themselves too available to men, they become a convenience instead of an equal partner in a loving, supportive long term relationship. One problem with this situation is that the women who ruin men by making themselves ready available, when these men move on it makes it difficult for other women who will not be at a mans beck and call.  

One  mistake some women make while dating is that they tend to perform wifely duties without the benefit of being a wife. For the sake of clarity a wife means a woman has walked down the aisle, taken vows before God and witnesses, and has been bonded with a man in holy matrimony. Not a wife in the sense that women are labeled a wife or in a common law situation. Women need to stop playing the role of a wife without the benefits, taking care of his laundry, cleaning his apartment, cooking, lending him money and your car, and  paying his bills. Ladies this is called playing house and being played. 

Many women are dating without a clear defined purpose or dating with the word desperation stamped across their foreheads; reeking with the scent of I’ll do anything just as long as you make me feel important, and that I am your one and only. Women who make themselves sexually available before establishing whether they are in a committed relationship. Ladies if your willingly give yourself over to a man physically, be ready to accept what’s coming, meaning expect to be asked for sexual favors often, and when you become weary of giving your body to a man who has not committed to you or sees you as his means to release his frustrations, you will  have yourself to blame. Why? Bottom line a man will take what is offered to him. 

 Here are a few ways women set themselves up for failure by answering late night texts, calls, and allow men to show up at their homes unexpectedly. Over time these bad habits become inconvenient to women, and beginning taken for granted. Women who rearrange or adjust their schedule to meet the needs of selfish men who take advantage of women with low self -esteem, because they don’t know their worth.Women became trapped in the bad habit of being a man’s savior by standing by his side even when he is wrong. Overtime women come to the realization that they are not honored or loved because of their good qualities, but because you’re the type of women men call EASY. You’ve made yourself too available and now  you don’t know how to break the spell.   

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

Dear Love

Dear, Readers, at the start of this new year ( 2020) I invited my readers, supporters and viewers of my You tube Channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, to join me in a long adventure with writing a letter to self. for each month i read my letter to self on my you tube channel and live on Facebook. the mission of my Brand, conversations with J. R. Floyd is to uplift people who;s heart and spirit have been broken. if you missed my letter to self in January you can find it on my You Tube channel. thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

 

Dear Love, 

For a long, long time I did not know who you were. Oh, I have heard talk about romantic love, passionate love, poetic love, fake love, black love, sister love and love of a spouse. My entire life I did not know that the intense longing in my soul was because I needed you, and I  did not understand that authentic love comes from the pure dept of a person’s heart and spirit. My misunderstanding of love begin when I was a child I did not know the sweet comforts of the words “ I love You”  there weren’t any loving hugs, night time kisses, bedtime stories, and no one scared away the things that went bump in the night. Instead, I was shooed away told to disappear, be quiet and keep my needs to myself. So, I went through my childhood, adolescence and adulthood thirsting for the security, protection, warmth, a sense of belonging and a deep soul connection. Along this journey to find LOVE, I mistaken lust for love, men’s aggressive and jealous behavior as love, my thinking was wrong because I took the verbal and aggression towards as an expression of LOVE.. 

 

I did some things that I am ashamed of in exchange for what I thought was LOVE. I was betrayed, conned, mislead, and broken over and over, and I once almost conspired to sell my soul to the devil for the sake of feeling this LOVE. At this point in my life it is too late for the father daughter talk, my father is no longer with me in the flesh. And my relationship with my mother is distant and broken, I made many attempts to reach out to her to ask why had she been an emotionally detached mother, but she ignored my plea.. 

 

So, here I am LOVE, not chasing you anymore. I have shut down the lustful desires of my flesh in exchange of getting to know who I am,  loving myself is my only priority. You see LOVE, I have been looking for you in all the wrong faces and hearts. You have lead me down some long dark dank tunnels only to abandon me. I will no longer be fooled by your smooth talk, unfulfilled promises, and your touch of fornication will no longer have a hold on my soul. 

 

My first LOVE will be me. Yes, you heard me. I have begun the process of loving me first and unconditionally. I am going to give to myself security and protection from all the Don Juans  of this world who seek to suck out my soul and drain my spirit. I will provide for me, and keep promises to myself, I look forward to each day with joy and excitement of seeing me grow into the person I can LOVE. I am not going to look for you, LOVE anymore. This is a new day, I am walking a new path, and you should come to find me, and by the time you catch up to me I will be the LOVE you are looking for.  

 

Next months letter to self, Dear  LIFE.