Designer Women or Vulgarity?

Dear Readers,

I am not a soical media influencer nor do I have millions of followers on my blog, Facebook or my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd. As a blogger on a daily basis I conduct research via soical media as a means to create topics for my our soical media platforms. There is no topic that I shy away from because I like to think that my views will help others to engage in conversations that might encourage change and empowerment.

While strolling through various soical media platforms, fashion magazines, and the occasional awards or reality TV shows, I’ve noticed that women of color are exposing more of themselves.The trend of walking the red carpet with plunging necklines, exposed buttocks wearing designer gowns created out of sheer materials, or in some cases no material at all. My concerned is this since the beginning of time women of color have been degraded, sexualized, villainized, and treated as less than worthy. Black women have been contently reminded that they don’t possessed the same higher level of intelligence and capabilities of their white counterpart.Therefore, some women of color find themselves forsaking modesty as a means to make their mark in this world.

For centuries women have fought against the stereotype of only being qualified to
” be bare foot and pregnant.” Women have marched for the right to be ” seen and hear, ” and to be taken seriously, while struggling to prove that the female species is more than just pretty faces and body parts. The argument is that women should be able to wear whatever they want without judgement. While there might be some truth to this statement, my question is this, have society cross the line turning fashion and beauty into a vulgar display of over exposed women dressed in outrageous costumes void of class, modesty, and eloquent?

There is a moment of sisters who are embracing the image of European beauty in an attempt to rid themselves of any trace of African features.The weaves, wigs, and nails are getting longer and outrageous. Body parts are being stuff, and plastic surgery is becoming a norm, breast implants, removal of ribs to make waists appear smaller, butt lift, butt implants, cosmetic surgery for cheek implants, European nose, permanent eyeliner, skin bleaching, extreme diets all in the name of standing out and making a statement. Another concern for bringing up this topic is about the influence that these trends is having on young black women who are not apart of the Hollywood Celebrity Status.

Why are we so willing to turn a blinds eye to how young black women are spending an increasing amount of money and energy to turn themselves into “designer women?” To simulate and emulate what they see on TV, the images of hard core music video vixons, or their favorite reality celebrity. We should be concerned about the emotional, physical, and financial toll trying to keep up a certain image has on our young women. The fear of rejection of not being good enough or fitting into a certain image is real. I can’t tell you how many times as a black woman I have been rejected because I wouldn’t raise my hemline or expose my breast, change my style of dressing or do freaky things. The saddest side of this situation is that women are forming clicks that exclude other women who don’t measure up to the standards of the image of the ” designer women.”

The final part of discussion is the counter argument to the creation of the ” designer women,” is the case for body shaming. The flip side to this battle of the beauties, is society supporting and encouragement of plus size women giving them permission to be over weight, which we all know can and will lead to health problem. There point of view is that society needs to except them as they are. Although there are plus size women in Hollywood, however, look how long it takes them to understand that their health is the issues and not trying to prove that big girls can make it to stardom.

Will that’s it. Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

Myself and baby sis.

When The Beauty Fades

Dear Readers,  we live in a society where body shaming is due to people trying to live up to an ideal body image. Question, what happens in a relationship over time when a partners beauty fades and their physical appearance changes, do you consider looking elsewhere or do you stay and embrace and love your partner? Let’s be realistic nothing  stays the same, over time things change, but this is not the same as a person letting themselves go. as most people do.  I hope that this will inspire people to have intimate conversations with each other and begin to heal.

Thank you for watching. For more relationship topics subscribe to my YouTube channel  Conversations  with J. R. Floyd

The Care is Self Care

Dear readers,   we are living in a society were self -care frowned upon the myth is that if you are taking time to care for self, than you are robbing your partner or children of you. So, little by little you give up the things  you enjoy. Take a look at my video and  get back to Doing you. Remember a happy partner is a happy relationship.


Age, A Number or Not?

Dear readers, aging-stages-cartoon

Psst…have you hear that there is a secret to aging? In the latest issue of AARP  magazine there is an article that suggest “31 Proven Age Erasing Secrets,” yeah, tips on how to erase, set back, stop or slow down the aging process.  But, there is a down side, what doesn’t stop, goes backwards or slows down is the Numbers.

These days graying or loss of hair, diminished hearing, fading vision, less pep, and memory loss isn’t trendy. The general point of view about aging means people who have lost their usefulness. In other words, a person of advanced age no longer fits into a society that workshops youth, beauty, and a flawless body.

I’m 52, yeah, I said my age out loud. I believe that daily moderate exercise, healthy eating, sleeping well, staying connected to family and friends; while engaging in mentally stimulating activities, can help elderly people have a better quality of life during the aging process.

Photos taken by aahman_-2

This is my story. What say you?

Body Shaming, a choice or discrimination?

Dear readers,



” Body shaming is a negative statement and attitude towards another persons weight or size.”

I am told that setting standards when seeking a life partner is important. In a prospective partner we look for compatibility and good characteristics like: someone who is caring, humble, generous, and self assured. Some people rely on chemistry, “a connection of a bond or common feeling between two people.” For others, physical attraction is important, meaning features that are considered aesthetically pleasing or beautiful.

Question, have you found yourself staring  at a couple who is noticeably gorgeous from head to toe; or the opposite, the women is more physically fit than her male companion, and vice a versa? The general consensus is that aesthetics should not be a deal breaker when choosing a partner.

We all know the saying” beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Haven’t  you noticed the world is leaning towards outer beauty? A well toned body is a mandatory requirement regardless of  the person’s personality, standards or morals. There are ads that are dedicated to Body Shaming most  are directed towards women. What is most shameful is  people are using body shaming as a form of discrimination when selecting a partner. These people are sending a clear message that based on an individuals physically appearance that they are good enough.

What Say You?

The Confession of Beauty

Question the beauty of the earth, question the beauty of the sea, question the beauty of the air, amply spread around everywhere, question the beauty of the sky, question the serried ranks of the stars, question the sun making the day glorious with its bright beams, question the moon tempering the darkness of the following night with its shining rays, question the animals that move in the waters, that amble about on dry land, that fly in the air, their souls hidden,their bodies evident. They all answer you, ‘ Here we are, look we’re beautiful.’

Their beauty id their confession-St. Augustine