No you can’t have my joy!

I refuse to allow anyone to steal my joy! Did you hear me? I refused to allow anyone to steal my joy! This is a confession of a former people pleaser that included allowing people to steal my joy. No, Don’t feel sorry for me I willingly participate in opening the path for people to come Into my life and steal my joy.
How did this happen? Let me explain.
I cared too much about other people’s opinions about me regardless if their judgement was right or wrong. I poured my heart and soul into doing whatever I could to make them like me.
I spend way too much time catering to other people’s needs and disobeyed that voice in my head that whispered ” what about you and what you need”. I was under the foolish impressions that people cared. It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that people are only out for their best interest, and if they can use you its because your a means to an end.
For years I bite my tongue held my peace and refused to talk back to defend myself. I swallowed every insult and stood strong like a dummy and smiled while saying,” its ok.”
I did things I didn’t want to do and visited places I had no business going. I conspired against people because someone asked me to. I denied myself simple pleasures in life because I was too busy giving them to others who I felt deserved the blessing more than I did.
During all of this I carried a cinder block of unhappiness that I couldn’t explain. I was angry, but I did not know who to be angry at. This cycle continued for years until a incident happened that shook me to the core of my thinking. The first thought was to kiss up to the individual and get back on their good side. But that voice in my head overpowered me and roared No! We are not going to allow this situation to steal our joy! It was amazing. It was like I saw the sun for the first time. I asked myself why? Why should I bend because another person chooses to give me the silent treatment. No. No. No. I will not allow you to take my joy! I have armed myself, I have a plan, I am smiling because my plan doesn’t involve revenge, being angry or showing my discomfort. My choice is simply to go about each day and not allow you to steal my joy!
I refuse to be miserable. I refuse to lose sleep think of way to make things right. I refuse to submit to your will.
Today, and every day, I close the door and will not allow you to enter to steal my joy!

Secrets

Dear readers,

Psssst, can you keep a secret? No, this is not a trick question. I think that there are two sides to keeping secrets. First, if you must ask the person you’re about to confess the crimes that you have committed against humanity; if she or he will be able to keep in confidence the information that is burning a hole in your soul, I say to the secret keeper should be cautious as to why the secret teller; is setting up the secrets holder to withhold knowledge about something or someone this could be an unfortunate situation to be in.

Say for an example, an uncle knew that his married nephew had committed adultery, thus destroying the good relationship the uncle had with the wife. The uncle felt it wasn’t his place to divulge this information. In the meantime, he felt that he was betraying the wife, and this caused friction between him and the nephew. In the end the nephew confessed to the wife, she discovered that the uncle knew of the affair, but she never approached him. They have since patched up their marriage. But the relationship between them have changed and the uncle hasn’t visited their home in five years.

Have you noticed that many motivational speakers use the word “secret” and for a price they will tell us the secrets to happiness, wealth, and how to attract a mate, there was a book many years ago called “The Secret” the book claimed that the secret to the law of attraction was simply to alter our thought pattern and the world will change.

Husbands and wives keep secrets from each other. Generations of families live with one dark secrets that only a few dares to whisper. Children learn at an early age how to hide the truth. When an individual testifies in a court of law they are asked to place their hands on a bible, and swear to tell the truth, meaning after taking the oath they can’t keep secrets.

Ask yourself a question the next time someone ask you to keep a secret, do you really want to carry around the responsibility of someone else’s burden?

What say you?