More About Me

Dear Readers, 

My journey as a blogger, author, and creator of my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd, is a personal pilgrimage of healing from a life of chaos and emotional brokenness through deep reflection and self-discovery; leading me to find a new path and live a better life. The events of my past and the trauma connected to those experiences had a profound affect on how I lived my life and the choices I made. I transitioned from an abused and neglected childhood, to a confusing and dark adolescent into adulthood where I made enormous mistakes that are too numerous to recall. 

It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom at the age of 30 that I acquired professional help. I was raised in a religious home and my parents taught their children that all they need to solve their problems is the Bible and prayer. I lived a sheltered life, and looking back at the adults during my childhood they taught me nothing. One of many lessons I learned from therapy is that my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles lack of knowledge is due to generations of them being in survival mode. I was angry for years at my parents because they didn’t protect me from falling into the cruel ditches of this world; instead my father was busy being a disciplinary and ruling his family with an iron fist, so I learned to fear my father and withdraw. My mother was a hopeless domestic diva who showed no emotions except anger. 

After my experience with therapy I concluded that many of my problems I encountered derived from my childhood, and the adults having influences grooming my young mind filling it with mixed messages and myths that I discovered as an adult were wrong, misleading and harmful.  

My childhood home was constantly in chaos, alcohol and drug, domestic violence, screaming, male domination, and subservient women. When children are not reared in homes that are loving, balanced, financially and emotionally ready, support from extended family members, and nurturing and safe; the results can be devastating, trust me I know from experience. 

1. Children from dysfunctional or broken families and hindered from seeking out their own identity separate from the family, they are marked the” Black Sheep’ and treated as such. 
2. When parents make decisions for their children based on the theory that they are too young or emotionally immature to make decisions for themselves; the result is children who grow into adults who make poor choices.
3. Children who are not taught how to cope with loss, death, separation, relocation of living situations, adults need to bear in mind that children have emotions that they don’t understand, and when they aren’t given the support, love and encouragement they need to cope with loss, the result is an adult who can’t cope with life.
4. When children transition into adolescence this is a confusing period of their life, they need help, patience and guidance, because this is when most of the troubles begin because adults don’t pay attention to their needs, and label teenagers as difficult.  

My intentions is for my readers to understand the reason behind some of my postings that might seem personal or disturbing. I hope that I can help others who are or have  struggled with past childhood trauma to understand that the pain doesn’t have to last forever and that there is a rainbow at the end of rain.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

Losing Faith

Dear Readers,

Recently, a few people have started a trend of ” renouncing their faith” meaning, they are revolting against a certain religious ideology that they bought into without having full understanding of what it means to be a follower of Christ; or as some people refer to themselves as Christians. The word Faith, derived the Latin fides, meaning confidence or trust in a person, thing or concept. These individuals are doing publicly what others are doing silently. They are walking away from the grips of organizations that represent themselves as the House of God; but behind the scenes there are activities and decisions made that have nothing to do with the works of God. The movement of the mega churches and creation of the praise and worship teams have become far removed from the original purpose of the Gospels or what it means to be a Disciple. The body of people is what makes up the church, the original establishment of Discipleship is to spread the truth through the teachings of the Gospel, and to follow the examples of good values set forth by Jesus. Nowadays, attending a house of worship is about prestige, and worshiping the Pastors, instead of the creator.
People are not walking away from their Faith, because the Bible says, “Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who come to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” So, are people believing in God or are they putting too much FAITH into the leaders of these mega movements?  People are turning away from organized religious dominations and what these institutions of mega worship represent. Nowadays, the new messenger of God are motivational speakers, throwing in a few Bible verse to stir up people’s emotions pumping them up making them feel good for a moment. These mega institutions are more fixated on the Pastors who present themselves as a one-man show, camouflaging themselves as the only divine and direct contact between God and the people of the church.
The original mission of the Gospels is to be taught throughout the world, in Matthew 28:16-20, the calling is The Great Commission. The movement is Evangelism. The purpose for all people to gain knowledge of ” the good new” (the written accounts of the life and teaching of Jesus) the Gospels are the principle by which humanity is to live by a code of moral ethics. People don’t attend a house of worship to be condemned about their sinful life, instead they are seeking what the Bible promises love, compassion, guidance, forgiveness, they are looking for someone to listen to them without judgement. People who attend houses of worship are judgmental and they misuse the words from the Bible to justify their meanness. People who commit themselves to a house of worship feel compelled to occupy their entire life with things of the church, and if they fail in this effort they are told that their faith isn’t strong or that there is still sin in their life.

Question, how many Pastors do you know that actual visit sick members, go to jails to pray, or know the people in their congregation? As soon as a takes membership in a mega church they are directed to a team member, instead of being formally introduced to the Pastor and the members of the Ministry staff. While people are busy working and laboring for the continued growth of this mega ministries, I wonder how much of the money goes towards helping the needy members in the congregation?

 

You might be wondering, is this a person just ranting against the church or an atheist. None of the above. I am a daughter of a former Pastor; my father is no longer with us. I have first-hand knowledge of what goes on in God’s House, and I am here to tell you that sometimes God has nothing to do with what’s going on behind the scenes. Most Preachers have gotten smart over the years and they have built their own Ministries, so that they can’t be voted out by a church board.  They are in full control and they are running church organizations like the Den of Thieves.” (Matthew 21:12).

 

A few years ago, I walked away from a house of worship that I felt wasn’t teaching the Bible in the spiritual manner that it is intended. The lack of leadership, spiritual guidance and the constant begging for money left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I prayed, fasted and enrolled in a reputable Christian College, and for an entire year immersed myself in the study of the Gospels, and Epistles of Paul. I learned a lot about myself and what it is meant to have a relationship with God. I returned to my house of worship with a new prospective. I have since established a nonprofit community outreach program. Once a month, myself and volunteers, prepare food, give out clothing, take down names and numbers of people in need, and on my own time I explore resources to help them. I no longer participate in any services that’s not teaching the Bible or building tides with the needs of the people in the Community that we worship. I am no longer control by what the leaders of the church say, I live and believe in the word of GOD.

 

So for the people who are walk away from their “Faith” my questions is what did you have Faith in and Why?

What Say You?

 

The Chosen Few

Dear readers, please read this with an open mind.

I was once asked who called me to Ministry, at that time I could not answer this question. Why, because I am a teacher by vocation, so I don’t consider myself a preacher, Ephesians 4: 11, And he gave some apostles; and some, prophets; and some, Evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers. For years people have said to me that God has a calling on my life. Now, if the question is what the will of God for my life is, I would answer like Paul, I am a servant of God and that this Ministry I have been called to is to serve the people who Jesus dedicated his short ministry too; the sick, poor, the outcast, the broken in heart and spirit, and those who have given up hope. As believers, some of us have lost sight of the original mission for following the life of Jesus, turning the House of God into a building for fund-raising, “and he said unto them, it is written, my house shall be called the house of prayer, but ye have made it a den of thieves” Matthew 21:13 KJV. What I am observing is that many of the House of Worship rarely distribute money into the community to provide support for the needy. Many others and I have become dissatisfied with Preachers who run from church to church collecting offerings for delivering the word of GOD. The teaching of God’s word should be given freely to whosoever will listen. Jesus took nothing, but he gave much. This world is filled with millions of Houses of Worship, yet the spirits in dark places seem to be winning. Houses of Worships are empty and closing not because people don’t believe, it’s because our spiritual leaders have forsaken their calling because they desire MEGA churches, with a MEGA choir and a MEGA congregation, which in turn will mean MEGA BUCKS.
Some Pastors do not honor the role that they have been chosen to serve, they forsake spending intimate time with their congregation, they don’t reach out to the sick, rarely show up for bible study or Sunday school, charge a fee for performing marriages, baptism and counselling. Some Pastors arrive at service just in time to perform their fifteen minutes of reading their sermons from paper or the lasts technology; while stumbling through the scriptures, quoting lines from songs to embellish and fill in between thinking what to say next. Once they have successfully solicited the correct emotionally responds their performance heightens by stomping and whomping. After is all said and done what have anyone learnt that can be used in their daily struggles of life. What have the congregation been taught? As I mentioned previously, I am a teacher by trade and talent, and as an educator my duty to my students is to impart skills and knowledge to help shape and prepare them to accomplish their dreams and goals.
Lastly, Pastors are referred to as shepherds, Jesus was the example of the good shepherd, “I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” John 10:11 KJV. A shepherd’s prize possesses is his SHEEP. A good shepherd knows his sheep, he nurtures them, the shepherd understands that his sheep are dependent on him. A good shepherd makes provision for his flock, he walks among his sheep, he talks to them, he connects to them, they are all precious to him; “He tends His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart. He gently leads the nursing ewes” Isaiah 40:11 KJV. I am not preaching religion nor is my purpose is to convert my readers. What I have spoken here is what I have observed and here other believers voicing their concerns about the lost sheep crying out in the wilderness and the shepherds who are ignoring their cry.

What Say you?

J. R. Floyd ( Dragthepen)