Damaged

Dear readers,

2017 has seen an enormous amount of women and a few men who came forth with accounts of sexual harassment. Some of these victims of unwanted sexual assault are called “brave” for having the “courage” to speak out about these acts of inappropriate behavior. Some of these incidents have occurred 10 to 30 years ago, and some go so far back in time that I don’t think it is worth mentioning. Don’t take what I am saying out of context, I’m in no way trying to  downplay the “painful” experiences suffered by these victims, however, the questions on my mind is why now? And what do these victims hope to accomplish? Many of the voices who claim to have agonized in silence are currently living a lavish life style. We have heard the wounded say that at the time of the incident of inappropriate sexual behavior that was inflicted on them they, “did what they had to do” or “they did speak out in fear of no one believing them.”

I was stunned when James Levin my favorite composer for the MET, was suspended after sexual abuse accusations that involved unsuitable behavior towards young men. I was floored by the news of Matt Lauer, the former host of The Today Show, sudden termination. My attraction for becoming a long time viewer of The Today Show was due to the chemistry of Matt Lauer, Ann Curry, and Katie Couric, I guess I was wrong. The list of the accuser continues to grow, who will be next? Do these so-called powerful men truly feel remorse for their debauched conduct or are they embarrassed about the fact that they were caught with their pants down so to speak. The lawsuits have begun, they say, “it’s not about the money” then what is it about? Will the private settlements make the pain go away?

I recall when Anita Hill, was the first to publicly speak out about her experience of sexual harassment by her accuser Clarence Thomas. Her statement was questioned by public opinion when it was discovered that she was in Thomas employment on two different occasions and never mentioned his misconduct towards her until his confirmation hearing. During her days of testimony the political view from the Left and Right Wing Theorist, suggested that Hill was used to try to stop Thomas’s affirmation to the Supreme Court. After the dust settled and the smoke cleared, Hill realized that speaking out in her words was “poor judgment.” I digress.

My final say on this subject, to the so-called people in “power” in these places of employment, Hollywood, educational and religious institutions. Regardless of being a white or blue-collar worker, low-income, middle class, wealthy or the uber rich, it is not enough to say shame on you, or for you to seek forgiveness because of a few words of apology for your wicked behavior. You did what you did because you felt that you are above the law with your “power and money” reckoning day is here, and your reign of terror is over; your so-called “poor judgment” has resulted in permanent scares and a stain of distrust in the American people.

The downside of being a Man

Dear Readers,

Recently, I blogged about how women, partially black women who are Fed Up with lackadaisical black men.Today’s post is decicated to men who feel that they don’t have parts of them that are broken; and their need to live in denial instead of addressing what is truly nagging at them. Its easy for men to lay blame and point the finger at women for the complications they suffer. Men rely on the theory of Orginal Sin. Remember Eve, Adams wife in the garden of paradise, as the story goes she lead her man astray by convincing him to take a bite from the forbidden fruit. Nice try, but no one is buying into this lame excuse to use women as scapegoats. The truth is men have experienced tragic lost, childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, and some witnessed the abuse of their mothers, were molested, and beaten by their father’s who told them they had to be a man.
Men are under pressure to be leaders, masculine, brave, and to disconnect from their emotional needs so that they wouldn’t appear to be weak. Men have been taught to be predators, aggressive, bread winners, players, and heroes. At a young age, little boys are taught to be tuff, first lesson don’t cry, second lesson be aggressive, third lesson learn how to fight, thus this is how little boys mature into angry adults. Men are told what to feel, and how to think like a man in some cases young boys are put in charge of being the man of the house a role he knows nothing about.
Men are taught that they have to take what they want, and to keep his women in check, that he is the head of the family and his authority should not be challenged. Some men are forced into marriages due to cultural beliefs; others because of knocking someone daughter up. And there are the momma’s boy’s, their mother’s treat them like surrogate husbands, keeping them at home and discourage any women she feels isn’t good enough for her son.
Men are getting married and they are on the DL. Men are allowed to have a wife and a side chick running between two homes, trying to be a man in one, and a player in the other. Bottom line men will never admit that they are oppressed by society’s standards on what it means to be a man. For centuries men have suppressed their anger, and deny that they are emotionally broken leading them to develop dysfunctional behaviors. Its because of these reasons and more that some men find it difficult to successfully engage in a one -on- one intimate relationship. And to conceal what is broken about them they shift the burden on women citing that we are difficult, too emotional, nags, too independent, angry, and selfish.
I would like to say to men I am a mother of a wonderful son who have developed into an amazing father, and dedicated husband. He wears many hats, a Solider, football coach, church musician, and he is an excellent cook. Over the years my son has opened up to me about experiences that have caused him pain, and I am happy about the positive path he has choose  to help heal his brokenness.
The world is not the enemy its just the ridiculous standards that society has heaped upon each gender placing them at a disadvantage. We are not allowed to be our true selves, instead we are told who we need to be.

What say you?

My Amazing son who taught me how to be a better mother and about power of unconditional forgiveness.

Damaged

Dear readers,

2017 has seen an enormous amount of women and a few men who came forth with accounts of sexual harassment. Some of these victims of unwanted sexual assault are called “brave” for having the “courage” to speak out about these acts of inappropriate behavior. Some of these incidents have occurred 10 to 30 years ago, and some go so far back in time that I don’t think it is worth mentioning. Don’t take what I am saying out of context, I’m in no way trying to  downplay the “painful” experiences suffered by these victims, however, the questions on my mind is why now? And what do these victims hope to accomplish? Many of the voices who claim to have agonized in silence are currently living a lavish life style. We have heard the wounded say that at the time of the incident of inappropriate sexual behavior that was inflicted on them they, “did what they had to do” or “they did speak out in fear of no one believing them.”

I was stunned when James Levin my favorite composer for the MET, was suspended after sexual abuse accusations that involved unsuitable behavior towards young men. I was floored by the news of Matt Lauer, the former host of The Today Show, sudden termination. My attraction for becoming a long time viewer of The Today Show was due to the chemistry of Matt Lauer, Ann Curry, and Katie Couric, I guess I was wrong. The list of the accuser continues to grow, who will be next? Do these so-called powerful men truly feel remorse for their debauched conduct or are they embarrassed about the fact that they were caught with their pants down so to speak. The lawsuits have begun, they say, “it’s not about the money” then what is it about? Will the private settlements make the pain go away?

I recall when Anita Hill, was the first to publicly speak out about her experience of sexual harassment by her accuser Clarence Thomas. Her statement was questioned by public opinion when it was discovered that she was in Thomas employment on two different occasions and never mentioned his misconduct towards her until his confirmation hearing. During her days of testimony the political view from the Left and Right Wing Theorist, suggested that Hill was used to try to stop Thomas’s affirmation to the Supreme Court. After the dust settled and the smoke cleared, Hill realized that speaking out in her words was “poor judgment.” I digress.

My final say on this subject, to the so-called people in “power” in these places of employment, Hollywood, educational and religious institutions. Regardless of being a white or blue-collar worker, low-income, middle class, wealthy or the uber rich, it is not enough to say shame on you, or for you to seek forgiveness because of a few words of apology for your wicked behavior. You did what you did because you felt that you are above the law with your “power and money” reckoning day is here, and your reign of terror is over; your so-called “poor judgment” has resulted in permanent scares and a stain of distrust in the American people.

The Little Book Of Love

UPON JULIA’S CLOTHES

Whenas in silks my Julia goes,

then, then, methinks, how sweetly flows

That liquefaction of her clothes!

Next, when I cast mine eyes and see

That brave vibration each way free,

-O how that glittering taketh me!

~Robert Herrick~

 

What makes a Man?

Dear readers something to think about.

THE COWARD HAS A DREAM, THE BRAVE MAN HAS A VISION.

Traditional Chinese proverb.

What Say You?