The way things used to be

Ladies, may I gentlely suggest that you cease being angry because you were delivered from relationships or a situation that did not honor you, but only brought you pain and brokeness. Despite the negative messages from society being single whether by force or choice should be viewed as a gift and not a death sentence.

Think about this. When you were in that relationship or situationship with the person you thought you couldn’t live without, did you feel safe, respected, loved and protected? Were your needs besides the physical ones attended to or did you feel abandoned? Were your dreams, vision and goals nurtured, supposed and encouraged? How many times promise were broken, lies were told, and you struggled with conflicts of suspected infidelity because you had to worry about them, they, he, she, or her being a part of what you thought was an exclusive situations. And you wonder why you have trust issues.

Did you wait your turn in line because you weren’t a priority? Count the times you gave or lent money because bae, boo, your ride or die knew you wouldn’t say no. You broke up, he, she, they, or them begged their way back into your life. Why, because when your alone you allow feelings of desperation, loneliness, lust, and the voice of others advising you to move on, and you do, you fall right back into the same destructive patterns in the next situationship.

Why am I saying all of this? Because this use to be me. No, my truth doesn’t reflect the experiences of others, but I know that their is more than a few women reading this that have walked in these shoes. I am not a relationship guru, I am a women who have walked on the dark side of more than one dysfunctional situationship. In 2015, I wrote my first book The Waiting Game, where I reveal my personal experiences about how men and women who are emotional broken and how we mistreat each other in relationships.

It’s taken me years to heal from the damage caused by an horrible childhood, and the trauma due to abusive relationships. It wasn’t until I made the choice to put me first, and stood firm on who I would and would not allow in my life as friends and intimate partners. I am truly happy for my journey. I understand the gift of being single and using this time to heal, reflect, renew, and discover who I am, and my path. I am maturing spiritually and developing a stronger emotional foundation. It’s been 4 years and I am learning so much about life. I have discovered the joys of traveling, truly enjoying my own company, I relish my freedom, I protect my peace, and most important, I support, love, encourage, inspire, and provide myself the life I know that I deserve, and it is amazing.

I hope I have inspired you.
Love yourself

If I were a book

Dear Readers, Greetings from Dragthepen

We count sheep to sleep, the number of day of the week, and the number of toes on a baby’s feet.

We count the day between the change of the seasons, some even count the days until retirement.

Have you ever wondered about counting the number of people who suffer from brokenness and hopelessness?

Today, while I was reviewing my new website and sharing it with friends, one of my dedicated viewers sent me this piece

The words literally brought tears to my eyes because what he wrote summed up how

I have been feeling about my life. I am sharing this with his blessings and hope that these words will encouraged

people to give a moment to understanding, compassionate and patient with others because you do not know their secret pain.

If I were a book, by Marc Henry Jean

If I were an open book I would be dusty on an old creaky bookshelf.

In my pages would be details on mystery and honesty, so sharp that the second I’m finally opened it difficult to put me down.

If I were a book I would be the embodiment of all books merged into one.

I would be poetry enlightened and powerful.

I would be filled with joy that makes you smile and excited to read the next sentence.

I would be the river ….No..I would be the waves flowing to the sounds of nature in perfect melody.

I would be love…hate…No I would be love while hate try to rush Its way back against your smile and you’ll keep hate pinned against the shadow.

I would be the missing pieces to your puzzle…. the Ying to your Yang….your push and pull.

I would be art simple, yet deeply meaningful…I would be you …looking in the mirror realizing your beauty and your struggles.

I would be old and dusty because no one bothered to crack me open to read my truth.

Than you for reading and please visit my website

http://www.conversationswithjrfloyd.com/

 

PodCast

Dear Readers,  Happy 4th of July.🇱🇷

 

white and red flag

Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

I have ventured out into a new area. I have a podcast, Conversations  with J. R. Floyd, on Sound Cloud. Listed below are a few topics. Happy listening.😊

  • Looking for Love
  • Who are you dating? Guard your heart
  • Readings from my first novel, The Waiting Game
  • Broken people in relationships
  • Stolen Innocence
  • Trends and expectation in relationships
  • Guard your emotions
  • I refused to allow you to steal my joy
  • Childhood scares
  • Be the person you want to meet
  • Empower yourself
  • The stages of a relationship
  • My story. My journey
  • How do you use your words

The you for listening.💖

J. R.  host of Conversations with J. R. Floyd on You Tube

 

Relationship 101

Dear Readers, In today’s Society there are countless broken relationships and this leads to dysfunctional homes. Couples are felling stuck and have become complacent in their routine living arrangement, and few people are making the effort to speak up. I suggest to going back to the beginning. Take a meaningful stroll down memory lane reconnect to why you committed to a partnership. You might be surprised about what you discover and this could place you on the road to healing.

Thank you for watching.

 

On Being Mom

myboy

Dear Readers,

Last night changed today. Let me explain. Yesterday, I created a to do list for today. One of my goals for the New Year ( 2019) is to plan and stick to a daily agenda so that my tasks do not pile up and overwhelm me. I received a call from my daughter in law telling me that my son (my only child) at the age of 37 had a heart attack. I eased myself to the floor while I listened to her relay the events of the day that resulted in her calling for emergency assistance. My immediate concern is for her and my three grandchildren because my son is the rock of that family, and their three children is the center of his life. Mothers are never prepared for these type of phone calls. Making this situation more complicated they live in North Carolina, and I live thousands of miles away in New York City. My first instinct is to pack and get moving, but my daughter in law communicated that my son said for me to stay put until they have information from the doctors. She continued to assure me that he is receiving good service and that she would not leave his side. So, I must stop pacing and wrenching my hands and make good use of my time by sticking to today’s schedule. My son is my biggest fan and supporter of my journey of becoming a writer. Through all of life’s trials’ and errors my son has been the best miracle that’s ever happened to me. I make myself better so that he has a mom that he can be proud of. So, today with a lot of prayers, tears and positive thinking, I push on…….

 

The Sins of a Woman

Dear Readers,

This video is in response to a podcast I listened to on You Tube-titled: Why?  Distracted women Discourage men. The speakers did not answer this question. instead, they place blame on women for broken relationships and for men leaving their homes. I was insulted by the old school think that women have stepped out of their roles and are in direct competition with men. The male speakers also concluded that women who declare themselves independent by acquiring a college education,  high paying job, purchase their own home, and raise children without the assistance of a man,  they find fault in what many women are choosing to do. I challenge you to listen to the podcast and come to your own conclusion.  Thank you for watching.

 

Hurts Worse Than a Heart Attack.

Dear readers, I have some thing personal to share with you.

SONY DSC

 

Today, I’ve gone through a few emotions starting with anger, sadness, to disappointment. Its come me my attention that a person who have walked me through some tough situations over the past two years, has a bias against their black people. This bias is a result of having had an education paid for by their parents, living in an upscale community with the white elitist, paid for by their parents, and solely socializing with white people, because they feel that people of color, are beneath them. I wasn’t prepared for this news. I conclude that I was the token black friend to a person who I once respected and admired. It’s not easy for me to trust people. I’m at a loss for word.-Thank you for listening.