Who’s Talking To Who

Dear Readers, Hello, Hello, Welcome to another juicy topic with Dragthepen.

Today’s topics: COMMUNICATION. 

Call it what you like, talking, conversations, discussion chatting, gossiping, or having a dialogue. I say, PEOPLE ARE NOT HAVING MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS ANYMORE. There seems to be more ways to communicate due to the improvements in technology, but is this really communicating in a meaningful manner?

Webster’s dictionary defines communication as:  a process by which information, thoughts, feelings  is exchanged between individuals. Okay fair enough, however what I am referring to is the lack of meaningful exchange of ideas, information, thoughts and feelings. 

Some people hide behind social media sending instant messages, texting, emails, recording messages, voice message and videos, replacing face to face in person connection. How much of the meaningful exchange of ideas can we when sending text or IM. How many times have you had to call someone because they took your text, email or IM out of context? 

Relationships and communication are getting more complicated than they need to be. Some relationship experts advise women that if a man is only texting her and not calling this means he is not into her or he is married or has a girlfriend. I have observed people out on dates, girls and guys night out checking their cell phones, or interrupting dinner because of that important call they have to take. Oh, let’s not forget the Emoji using symbols, pictures and characters to express emotions. And here is the big one no one is spelling words completely: smh, lol, thx, wud, lmao, bff, rofl, lqtm, haha, brb, btw, eod, such a meaningful way to communicate, when the person has to text back what does that mean? When children and teens use their short cuts what they are doing is undermining their ability to express themselves in full sentences. 

Communication in the workplace is being reduced to sending emails, text messages, and since the pandemic we’ve become accustomed to zoom meetings that reconnecting  in person meeting as a team is becoming a thing of the past. What’s meeting in the zoom meeting is the camaraderie and in interpersonal relationship building. People talk to each other in passing shouting call me and let’s meet up, phone conversations are brief because people claim  to have a million things to do and being on the phone is preventing them from accomplishing their goals. Remember that song by the Godfather of soul, Talking Loud and Sayin ‘Nothing: Take a look around and you will notice that there is a lot of talking going on, but what are people really saying?

In the homes conversations have become non-in void. 

between partners. 

“ how was your day”? 

Reply, “ it was ok” 

“ what did you do”

 Reply, “ nothing much”

Or something like this 

“ how was your day”?

Reply, “ over and I don’t want to talk about it. I am tired and want to be left along”

 Conversation between children and parents

“ how was your day”?

reply , “ it was ok”

“ what did you do”

Reply, “ nothing much” 

Wives are not allowed to talk to husbands while they are  watching Television and at night no talking in the bedroom because one spouse claims to be too exhausted to talk. In the morning everyone is in such a rush to get to work or school that they don’t make time to say something kind to each other. How many times have we heard people who have left home and met with an unfortunate incident and the other spouse says, “I didn’t even tell him or her that I love her or him this morning”. Or “the last word I had with them was harsh.”

I don’t mean to rant. My goal is to bring awareness to how people take talking or the lack of meaningful conversations for granted. Some of my most cherished memories are the stories that my grandmother, father, Aunts and uncles passed on. They had meaning and were worth listening to.  We all have that one person who is no longer with us that we wish we could talk to. 

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation? 

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen.

Disconnected

Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

Dear Readers,

A strange occurrence took place a few days ago and it left me shock, bewildered, which lead me to deeply ponder about this advanced age of technology and how disconnected we are. It all started when I left my cell phone at my evening gig. I picked up an extra shift on Monday, October 14, Columbus day. In my haste to catch my train on time I left my cell phone and I refused to go back to retrieve it. I know that some people would rather be flogged than go without their cell phone, but I am not most people. This occurred on Monday and I didn’t retrieve my phone until Wednesday. I  do not have a back up phone and I was prefectly fine without it. I did not panic about missing calls, texts, Snapchat etc. I was confident that if my family couldn’t reach me they would simply called my business number. What did I do without my cell phone, what I always do nothing.
I am not one of those people who are joined at the hip with my cell phone. When I told people I went without my cell phone for 24 plus hours they looked at me in horror. One person declared that their life is inside of their phone and couldn’t image being without it. I said, my life is in my lungs and heart beat not in a mechanical device. I simply didn’t see the big deal. When I finally had the time to pick up my cell phone I was dreading all the calls, texts, voice mails etc.. that I would read and respond to. After charging my dead phone I was ready for all hell to break loose. I waited in vain. I had the sum of 1 text message and 1 voice mail. A part of me was relieved and the other part of me was confused. I thought what if I went another day without the means to communicate by cell phone would some become concern? Having so little calls and text messages what does this mean about the people who are in my contact list?

I though girl, stop being dramatic. No, I am not being a drama queen. What if I was injured, lost, kidnapped or worst deceased who would know? I had a sense of profound loneliness the feeling of being disconnected and unimportant. Today is Thursday, and my phone is still quiet. Does this mean that I reach out to people more than they do? I tried to convince myself, self your over reacting or am I? The bottom line is its not about not having my cell phone because there are other means people can contact me. Do I means so little to the people in my circle? I make it a habit to check on  family and friends at least one a week, by voice mail, text, or email. Its been a week since I sent my youngest sister a Thinking of you card, but she didn’t call to say if she received the card. I know in general people are busy, but do we use the excuse of being busy to the point its has lost its merit?
Should I wait until some one calls, text, email or Snapchat? When they do should I bore them with the saga of me beginning disconnect from what people refer to as a ” life line”? Or should I put the ordeal and my emotions aside and just say, “hello glad to hear from you, how’s life”.

What Say you?

1-800-talk- to- your- spouse

Dear reader, I thank you for indulging me by watching my videos and posting  comments.  I  have created a You Tube channel. I like to refer to this channel as my talk show. I created the talk show Conversations  with J. R. Floyd to discuss relationship topics. No, I am not an expert on relationships. No, I am not trying to advise people how to save their broken relationships. My mission is to get people thinking and talking to each other. Have you noticed that people who are in unhappy or dysfunctional relationships talk to every one who will listen about their relationships problems, but they do not  talk to their partner. I hope that my videos will help people to begin  to engage in conversations with each other and start to heal.

 

Thank you for watching. J. R. Floyd

Is it Just Me?

Dear Readers,

I live in New York City. Yes, the big rotten apple. I’m among the millions of city dwellers who rely on public transportation. There are days when my ride is quiet and pleasant, but today wasn’t that day.

I LEFT MY HEAD PHONES HOME!

My one hour & fifteen minute commute quickly turned into the ride from hell.  There is nothing enjoyable about hearing children screeching for attention from parents who are occupied by their cell phones. Or hearing five different loud conversations by people who are in close proximity. Myself and other passengers were entertained by a Bible toting christian yelling, ” You must be saved” for fifteen minutes. Than there was the paraded of people shaking their cups, to the tune of ” Spare change.” I arrived at my destination mentally drained . I bolted to the nearest souvenir shop  to buy headphones for the commute back home.

Headphones on New York City MTA. Priceless!

What Say You?

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