Tag Archives: change

A Change of Mind

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Dear Readers,

My last post I talked about being worthy thank you for the support and feedback I received. The word for this post is CHANGE, not getting back to normal or adjusting to the new normal. 

The change I am talking about is when people make the decision to transform their lives in a positive direction this transformation leads to making changes. For some people change isn’t easy, and it’s been my experience that when people make changes in their behavior, thinking, environment, the company they keep, lifestyle changes that lead to eating healthy and exercising,  to stop wasting money and live on a budget, or stop engaging in bad relationships, making  changes in the home to improve family life, some people decide to go to church and seek spiritual guidance, or make changes in their parenting style to become better parents. 

Some people adapt the idea that change is good, and they look forward to making improvements transforming their lives into what some people refer to as” their best life.” But what happens when you decide to change, to take your life in a different direction because you’ve become weary of doing the same thing, the same way and the outcome isn’t what you expected; and change becomes difficult when the people around you are resistant to change. 

For some individuals change means that the lives of the people around them will be inconvenient because they have become complacent and don’t see a need for change. Let me explain….. If you’re married, have a family, in a domestic partnership, situationship, live at home with your parents and other family members the decision to make changes in your life might affect the people connected to you, and their interaction with you might become strained. In other words, they are afraid they might have to change too.

Here’s an example, at the age of 28, I decided to enroll in college. Although I was living on my own there were changes that I made that affected people’s attitude towards me. At the start of my journey towards earning my Bachelor degree I spent every weekend partying. Over time I realized that I couldn’t keep up with the party lifestyle and be a good student because I wasn’t absorbing the content of the courses I was taking in Education and English literature. I looked forward to spending the weekends with my family and friends, but I was struggling to keep up with my assignments. I had to slow down, stay home and create a schedule that allowed me to balance work and school making time to focus on my assignments, while having time for myself. This meant less time partying and Sunday dinner at my parents house. No one was supportive of the changes I made. 

Acquiring my education was very important to me because at the time I was working a dead end job. I truly wanted to transform my life by establishing a career in Education and Social Work. The majority of people around me, mainly my family and friends felt that I was putting too much into my education. The more I tried to explain to them about balancing my time, they continued to oppose the changes that I made. Needless to say, I lost people who I thought I created solid friendships, the reason they gave was because I didn’t have time for them. But the truth was I couldn’t be available when they wanted me to be. I missed out on many family gatherings not intentionally, but due to some of these events happening when I had major assignments due and I could not sacrifice the time. On the day of graduation everyone wanted to celebrate my achievement. These were the same individuals who left me by the roadside so to speak. 

If you’re in the process of transforming your life for the better,  you will have to consider the people around you, meaning husbands wives, childrens, and others who might be opposed and resistant to their lives being affected by the changes you make in your life. Be prepared to:

1. Stand firm in the belief that the changes you’re making will be good for all involved.

2. Be willing to be patient with the setbacks that happen during the process of change.

3. Be prepared to motivate yourself when others are not eager to encourage and support you. 

4. Make sure you’re walking the right path towards change and putting in the effort to make  changes happen.

5. Make sure you understand that change isn’t wishful thinking. You will need a well thought out plan,set goals and check your process.

6. Be very clear about the rationale for the need to change and the benefits.

There are many more suggestions when considering moving towards change, but I think you get the message by now. Change is good because it means moving forward and making progress. When people become stagnant because they are deeply ingrained in living a routine life, and they settle for the status quo then change is a difficult step for them to make. Change does not happen overnight and there might be some unforeseen sacrifice you have to make that others will not. In the end the choice is your to make.

Thankyou for stopping by dragthepen

Time For A New Attitude

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Dear Readers, 

If this is your first time following me, dragthepen is dedicated to discussing issues that impact our relationships and our daily lives. Last week Monday, I was live on facebook and asked my viewers  this question, When we were ordered to be sheltered in place what changes took place in their marriage, partnership, or entanglement? This discussion is focused on you about self reflection, question,  have you given any thought to how you’ve changed or made changes in your life since being sheltered in place?

While enclosed in our homes we had a lot to handle trying to maintain a healthy mental and emotional balance. Now that we have had time to enjoy summer and fall and winter is fast approaching, have you taken time to think about your life and the adjustments that moving forward require you to make?

Most people don’t want down time to reflect on their lives because they may discover areas of their life that makes them uncomfortable to think about. Instead, they prefer to avoid what needs to be addressed. It takes a brave and honest person to confess weakness, struggles and disappointments.

Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself that before the coronavirus rolled into town that you were 100 percent happy with all areas of your life? Or were moments when you came to the conclusion that you should reevaluate your life.

I understand that people continue to struggle with finances, unemployment, home school, working from home, eviction, and are simply concerned about their future. I’ve had conversations with family members, friends, co- workers and other people who say, “that this crisis has caused them to come face to face with areas of their life that they either avoided improving and they have regrets and hope to have a chance to make changes.”

Some people said that they regret not taking vacations and enjoying life more, they should have watched their spending and saved more money, completed their education, made an effort to work on their relationships, and complete unfinished projects, they worry over the pain caused by broken promises. I heard repeatedly from people that this crisis has called to their attention the things in life that are truly important. This nation has been through a great test this year concerning the destruction from the corona virus and racial tension and it seems that nothing is getting better, so it’s easy for people to give up.   

And with all the things that people have to cope with it’s difficult for them to think about self-care. I am saying to you take a moment to think about how this crisis has changed you. What is important to you in order to move forward, make changes and create a better life. Take a moment for you. 

I’ve taken advantage of this down time reading more, and I’ve discovered that I like this slower pace of life. I have decided not to go back to draining myself on the grind. I want a more focused life, working on projects that have meaning and purpose, no more filling up my calendar until I can’t breathe, I don’t have to be all things to all people. I enjoy blogging, writing books, ( My third  will be released  Dec). I want time to produce more YouTube videos for my channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd. I am working on my script for a documentary I will produce in the summer of 2021. Oh and the biggest change I am transitioning to a new profession. This new career move will allow me the time to pursue all the goals that I have planned.

The world has changed and it will continue to change. changes that wasn’t expected but the coronavirus has forced us to change. How are you going to move forward and embrace CHANGE?

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

What’s Important Now

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Dear bloggers,  it’s been about one week since New York City has been slowly shutting down due to the Corona-virus. No matter what state you live in, today, I want to encourage you to remember this too shall pass. I invite you to think about the word WIN, What’s Important Now. Right where you are, think about what’s important now. Since this lock down has been set in place, people have been in a hurry to get back to “ normal” .  I hear people talk about feelings of fear, panic, chaos, depression, anger and confusion considering the circumstances these are all legitimate emotions. 

 

Question, how are you fueling these emotions? Are you a news hoarder?  It’s okay to check in for an update, but it is your Television, Cell phone, I pad, and Radio on 24 hours, so that your mind  is being bombarded with News. Yes, the fear about money, bills, rent, mortgage, car payments and so on are real. How is worry and panic going to solve your troubles? Try to avoid adding more stress and tension in your home during this period of being shut in. 

 

I suggest you try to focus on What’s Important Now. 

 

Focus on remaining as calm as you can. It’s important to maintain structure, make plans for how you’re going to spend the days, weeks maybe months. It’s okay to go out as a family for walks, exercise is important to maintain strength, eat well, avoid loading up on junk foods. Keep a regular sleep schedule. Use this time for self reflection individually and as a family. Maybe now is the time to create a new future for your family, or are you willing to go back to life as you call “ normal” . This crisis will change us as people and as a nation.  Are you going to come out of this crisis with a greater appreciation for family, God, your house of worship, place of employment, health, and home. Or better awareness about What’s Important Now? Will your bond with the people who matter most  be stronger? 

 

 I am thankful that I have a roommate and I am not alone. I am thankful to be able to work from home, and earn a paycheck.  I am thankful for my live Facebook chats to share words of empowerment. I am grateful I can talk to a community of bloggers. I have my life, my health, my family and friends are protected. This is What’s Important Now. 

 

My thoughts and prayers, are with the world.

 

A new number doesn’t mean change

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Dear Readers,

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So, the count down to the New Year ( 2020) has begun and many people are feeling the anxiety of an approaching new year. You are not alone in your HOPES that maybe a ” New Year” will being more joy, happiness, adventure, and less drama. There is absolutely noting wrong with HOPING, but if our not putting the effort, time, energy, work, and developing a plan of how your going to make the change you desire. Are you aware of why you haven’t had a better quality of life?

Before the ending of 2019, have you sat down in deep contemplation about the obstacles, mental and emotional baggage that you continue to carry into each ” New Year”, yet you keep HOPING. A new number or a new year isn’t going to change any of the situations in your life unless you change. Don’t expect the people or situation around you to change if your not willing to get clear and understand that you can’t continue behaving in the same manner expecting new results.

If you continue to walk the same path than this means you have become stagnate and complacency has set in. So, just using lip services of wishing for change isn’t going to bring about the beauty of a new life. If your living in FEAR of the unknown then letting go of the old in exchange for the new isn’t for you.

Here is a question to ask yourself, How bad do you want or need change? Look around do you like what you see?

How many times are you going to confuse secretly to yourself, ” I am so tried of this?”  Whatever your ” This ” is  making unless New Years Resolutions will help to bring change if you don’t take control of your life. The conversation needs to take place with yourself. I had a dear friend and co worker, who recently celebrated her 56th birthday by taking a cruise, she passed away on that cruise, and the lost was shocking to all of us who knew her.  The point is she made everyday that she lived count. She’s been taking two cruises a year since 2008, This was her way of seeing the words and experiencing the joy, excitement and adventure of  life.

This is your life, your the writer of the script and you can change, edit, revise as much as you want to until you have what you can called ” Your Best Life”. nothing is perfect and it never will be, but haven’t you waited long enough?

The wait is over the choice is yours.

HAPPY 2020 from DRAGTHEPEN

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