At the heart of the Matter

Dear Readers,

I want to love the world through the heart of a child. To experience unconditional warmth, acceptance, to embrace life with pure openness. To love with the heart of a child is to be brave, adventurous, and unassuming. To love with the heart of a child means to be fearless, playful, selfless, and bold. To love with the heart of a child means to forgive, hold no grudges, to be curious, and ask why? When children love they embrace you with hugs that melt your heart and chase away the boogeyman. Children love with deep loyalty, and their love is not conning or wonders what they will gain or lose by loving. 

Unlike the heart of adults that have lost its warmth, locking out hope and possibilities. The heart of adults is weak, selfish, cold, and holds grudges. It’s been traumatized by disappointment, neglect, abuse, broken promises, lost love, anger, and resentment. Adults love with a heart that questions loyalty, and loves with the mindset that questions, ” what’s in it for me”? Unlike adults when children love there is no plan B, or leaving options open. 

The heart is an organ that is the center of life,  yet we are careless and neglectful in the way we take care of our hearts. The majority of humanity is guilty and careless about expressing,  practicing and showing authentic love. We take love for granted like we do our hearts until there is a breakdown then and only then we perceive how important authentic love is, and how vital it is for our survival. Nothing grows ( Matures) without love, every creature and human needs to be nurtured. But, sometimes we wait until the very thing or person that we claim to love departs from our lives to understand that love is much more than a momentary feeling, and that love is healing just as much as it is destructive. 

Are we a society that has given up on understanding the sacred power of love? I loved once it was sweet, joyful, trusting, and as blissful as the rising sun after a spring rain. I shall love again because I believe in a child like love.

The Joys of Parenthood

Dear Readers,                                          my son and my two granddaughters

 

This is just a matter of opinion and not intended to advise parents how to raise their children. Have you noticed that modern thinking parents no longer believe that it takes “ A village to raise a child”.  I am a baby boomer raised in the South by two parents who were very much disciplinarians. My father was a soldier and he believed in “ spoil the child, but use the rod” when necessary. My mother used a different approach when disciplining her children, she took away privileges, withheld allowance, and removed you from participating in important family events like birthday parties and BBQ’s. Above all my parents communicated with me and my siblings in a loving manner and only displayed displeasure by the frown on their face or the tone of disappointment in their voice. I have recently taken to observing the manner that modern parents verbalize displeasure towards their children and it is shocking. I have heard parents threatening their children how they would cause them physical harm for misbehaving. No, I am not talking about a minor spanking on the bottom, I have heard parents threatening to slap, kick, and punch their children.  And they do so by using the utmost foul language to describe their disapproval because their child is “ acting out”. Children will be l children, and what I see is parents who are getting younger and younger, and lack the patience, compassion, and the understanding that their world as an adult changed the moment they chose to bring a life into the world, and parenthood is a 100 percent 24 hour, 7 days a week, 356 days a year responsibility. Most young people become parents without a solid foundation, in other words, they are not emotionally, mentally, or financially prepared. They stumble through parenthood not grasping that true parenting means sacrifices, being opened to learning, and the understanding that being a parent means that life revolves around the needs of their children

Most young parents still feel the need to “ have a life” . Here’s some new information: your children are your life. Once you made the adult choice to bring forth life you do not get to choose which days you feel like being a parent. Your first allegiance as a parent is for the safety and welfare of your children. If nobody has told these young modern parents, let me have the pleasure to be the first to inform them that being a parent is a true gift, and children are the best part of our society, they remind us what’s important and they show adults that we are never to old to nurture the child that will always be in our spirit. Children encourage us to laugh, be silly, playful, and they give the best and sincere hugs. I don’t profess to be the world’s greatest parent. My one and only son ( who I called my one true love) was born into a world to a young unlearned and naive mother, and a father who misled me to believe that I was the love of his life, and that we were going to be married and live happily ever after. Well, he abandoned us when my son was 10 months old. I failed as a young parent because I lacked adult guidance and a support system. My mother was disgusted with me for getting “ knocked up”, my father did the best he could, but he was aging and illness took over his life. Every other adult in my life was dealing with their own chaos. I had to work to support me and my son,  and I never truly understood how to bond with him. He paid the price for being born to young parents. Today, he is a proud father of three, and he often tells me that he will never leave his children, and I know this is because of the manner that he was raised, by a strict grandmother, and absentee parents. 

 

my son

I am grateful today that my son, my one true love, has taught me a sincere lesson of unconditional forgiveness,  and at the age of 39, he allows me to be the mother that I always wanted to be, but didn’t know how. It’s like I said, children can teach us lessons, my son taught me that it’s not what happened, but what we will do now. I hope that many people will read this and tuck their children in tonight and let them know that they are loved. 

 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

PodCast

Dear Readers,  Happy 4th of July.🇱🇷

 

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Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

I have ventured out into a new area. I have a podcast, Conversations  with J. R. Floyd, on Sound Cloud. Listed below are a few topics. Happy listening.😊

  • Looking for Love
  • Who are you dating? Guard your heart
  • Readings from my first novel, The Waiting Game
  • Broken people in relationships
  • Stolen Innocence
  • Trends and expectation in relationships
  • Guard your emotions
  • I refused to allow you to steal my joy
  • Childhood scares
  • Be the person you want to meet
  • Empower yourself
  • The stages of a relationship
  • My story. My journey
  • How do you use your words

The you for listening.💖

J. R.  host of Conversations with J. R. Floyd on You Tube

 

Childhood Scars: the breaking down of a child

Dear Readers and Viewers, I have discovered that the negative words and action that were done to some of us as children have had an impact on how we view who we are. What is important to understand is that childhood scares get buried under all the other negative experiences until some triggers  a memory and takes you back to that time in our life when we didn’t feel safe or love. My goal in sharing my story is that people will stop judging and insisting that we ” get over it and let go” instead start a dialogue that will  lead to a new path of healing. Thank you for watching. Please support me by subscribing to my You Tube channel: Conversation with J. R. Floyd

The me you didn’t know

Dear Readers,

I am posting this vblog in response to a question from one of my viewers. Every Thursday @ 8pm I go live on Facebook for my show Conversations with J. R. Floyd, each week I explore a relationship topic. The question the viewer ask is “since I am currently not in a relationship why do I feel that I am the best person to talk about relationship issues.” (this is a direct quote)

Join me  live on Facebook,  Thursdays @ 8pm for Conversation with J. R. Floyd. I invite you to subscribe to my You Tube channel. Conversations with J. R. Floyd.

Thank you for watching.

A house is not a Home

Dear readers,

When most people hear the words Home Alone, this is the image that comes to mind.

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The chaos of a frightened little boy left behind by his family, trying to fend-off burglars.

Home Alone can be just as terrifying for countless individuals, who have lost or never found their Soul Mate. No matter how large, small, shabby, or gloriously chic the outer frame or decorative interior; these things do not make a house a home. It’s the sound of laughter and tears, children playing or squabbling; the sweet aroma from the meal of the day, and the barking of the family dog wanting to go out.

Home is the place for happy family gatherings and sometimes moments of sorrow. Where babies take their first steps, and grow up to descend the stairs on prom night. A home is where childhood memories are made, where Mom and Dad dance alone at night after they put the kids to bed. Home is where grandparents return to live out their last days surrounded by familiar faces.

Home Alone means no voices, no memories, just silence. Each day becomes the same, and everything becomes one.  One cup, plate, fork, spoon, napkin, meal…. until one becomes none.

Home Alone

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What Say You?