Confessions of the Virus

One of the most difficult aspects of this pandemic is not the temporary loneliness, or the occasional overeating, the periodic boredom, or the wondering when will this be over, for me it is the absence of closeness. We live in a society that thrives on having personal space, in our homes we desire to have our own room, so we can close the door and keep others out. Some people often find themselves hiding in basements, closets or even the bathroom to escape people. 

We are told to seek quiet time to slow down and learn to enjoy our own company. Some parents often teach their children how to play alone. In the process these children invent imaginary friends or they cling to their favorite doll or stuffed animal for comfort. 

I am a proud Introvert and over the course of my life I have learned how to live with others who understand my need for quiet time and to dwell in a clean organized environment. We all have some area of life that is deeply impacted by this period of social distance. I miss the closeness of  being near people without fear. 

I miss sitting in the kitchen with my mom sipping coffee and catching up on life. I miss the hugs from family members, yes we are hugers. I teach college students and often they would initiate the invitation for a hug. I miss the intimacy of holding hands with a friend. I miss sneaking a gentle pinch from the cheek of a sweet plump baby. I especially miss the voices and camaraderie of my weekly chorus. 

Although some restrictions have been lifted and people are going out to enjoy meeting up, however, there is still that sense of being careful to connect but not fully. I spent this entire pandemic living alone; very few people stop by to do a wellness check. I am grateful for the few times I have ventured out to meet friends for dinner, coffee, or to attend a church service. I haven’t been to a mall, department store or to the movies; or any other place that I fear maybe a crowd of people.

I am thankful for spring and I’ ve made a trip to the mountains and it felt amazing to connect with nature, but I was alone. In July I am planning a cross country drive from New York to California. I am so excited because this is something I have dreamed of doing. While compiling my packing list I  remembered to add some extra items like, Lysol spray and wipes, extra masks,  rubber gloves, and hand sanitizer. I am excited, but how well I know that voice of caution will be with me whispering, have fun, but be safe.

Tech Babies

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Dear Readers,

Hear ye, hear ye,  parents electronic devices are not babysitters nor do these mechanical devices take the place of parental interaction. Stop training babies to think that their need for nurturing can be meet by staring at the screen of a iPhone or ipad. When these little tods cry, squirm, and lift their arms up to you they need your touch, warmth, closeness and most importantly your time and undivided attention. Sing to them, read to them, put down your technology, and get down on the floor at their level play games with them and allow yourself to enter into their beautiful world of imagination. Children are creative and they want to talk and share there ideas. When parents substitute television programs like the Disney channel, video games, and you tube as a means to entertain children, the message parents are sending is that their precious bundle of joy who is now walking, talking and demanding more time have now become a bothersome inconvenience.

Christmas 2018, I had the pleasure to spend time with my three amazing grandchildren who my son has lovely nicknamed peat, repeat and three-peat, because their last little sweet heart was certainly a surprise. I traveled over 600 miles by bus to North Carolina, to be in the presents of these amazing gifts from God. The joy of seeing their faces lite up as they greeted me took away the soreness from my body. A.J. & Sklyar the young ( 5 & 6)argued about who was going to take my suitecase to my room. The oldest Mariah (11) asked 100 questions about how long was I staying . Over the next few days, we played with cars, dolls, playdoh, and created our own pretend cooking contest using playdoh. On Christmas day my eldest granddaughter suggested that everyone wear Santa hats, and write a reindeer’s name across the front. We reminded in our PJ’s the entire day and took naps as needed.

I enjoyed the cuddle time in bed with all three; and especially the one evening that I spent with my eldest granddaughter watching princess movies, making snacks and talking. During my fives days stay the only interaction with technology was to ooh and aah over their fathers new cell phone. I think there were other electronic gadgets, but they weren’t the center of attention. For an extra added bonus I had bonding time cooking Christmas dinner with my son. My mind often wonders back to my childhood memories of family time, and how some of the life lesson I learned is due to the time, patience and attention I received from the adults in my life.  I spent time in the kitchen with my dad, who taught me how to chop fresh seasonings, he brought me a chefs hat and called me his prep chef.  My mother allowed me to help with the baking and at the age of 17,  I baked my first wedding cake. My grandmother taught me how to carefully and thoroughly clean a house.  And I watched my first western about with a few of my uncles. There are other fond memories about how the adults in my life helped to shape the person that I am today.

Advanced technology is great because new discoveries helps society move forward. however, ask yourself this, how have we as parents allowed technology to interfere in  the relationship with our children? When was the last time the entire family sat down for dinner and talked? Or planned an old fashioned game night. Do you know what books your children are reading? Are there Televisions in every room of the house? In my opinion its not  society that at fault for the way some of our children are turning out, it is what we are over exposing them to. Remember this announcement ” it 10:00 PM do you know where your children are?” I say,  ” its 10PM do know which device your children are on?”

Thank you for reading

What Say You?

J. R.