The Desires of a Womans Heart

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Dear readers, a few words to the ladies

Women should not be passive but be an active participant when seeking a partner. I am not a relationship expert, psychologist nor do I have answers to fixing relationship problems. dragthepen is an open platform to discuss issues that impact our relationships. With that said, ladies when choosing a partner and noticed I didn’t say husband. Here are a few tips to keep in mind. First, you don’t have to settle. Settling is for women who have given up on who she deserves and takes the cluncker behind door number two and live a life of regret.

Deep in a women heart she desires:

A partner who understands the value of working together for a successful partnership.

A partner who sees her as she is and not who he wants her to be (this is what happens when you settle).

A partner who believes in her goals and vision and is willing to be supportive, proud and patient.

A partner who doesn’t burden her with his emotional baggage and want her to be a therapist.

A partner who doesn’t treat her like his personal maid, cook, and a sexual object.

A partner who understands a womans need for alone time.

A partner who doesn’t asked to go 50/50 on the bills ( ladies that’s called a roommate and a free lay).

Women desire to have a partners they can confident in and not have past experiences or mistakes thrown in her face. Women are tired of litte boys and want men who are emotional mature, stable and is open and ready for a monogamous relationship. Women want a partner who is willing to tell the truth even if it’s going to hurt. A man who knows how to hold her hand when the tears are flowing and embrace her when the world comes crashing down.

Ladies seek a partner who understands that compassion, truth, loyalty, communication, cooperation, support, understanding, patience, and team work will win your heart.

Ladies leave those players, pretender, representatives and visitors alone.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

A Women’s Worth

Dear Readers,

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Happy New Year.

We need to stop applauding women for being exhausted due to forsaking self-care and their mental and emotional health, while supporting families, working outside the home and wearing multiple hats. I don’t believe in the myth of superwomen. Society is overwhelmed with women who are physically drained, suffering from health issues, emotionally empty, depressed, oppressed, feeling trapped and ignored. Women are told that women complain too much and are never satisfied. Women give so much and get little in return. 

Forever Pure

Warm and Secure

You have a special way of making me feel warm and secure.

Your strength and power inspire me to adore you more.

Life constant changes drives me in sane. Your love I can depend on to remain the same.

I’ve never desired a man for riches or fame.

All the gold in fort Knox’s can’t compare to this burning flame.

I hunger for your touch.

Love so gentle, kind, forever pure.

I can climb the highest mountain, swim from shore to shore and weather any storm

Because I have your love to keep me warm and secure.

I would be lost without you, for you know this is true.

Don’t ever stop making my skies starry and blue.

It’s your love that keeps me alive,

This I shall not deny your promises I can always rely.

Every day with you is like being born again

Because I have your love to keep me warm and secure.

Thak you for stopping by dragthepen

The Choice Is Yours

Dear Readers,

Dear Readers, in 2018 I made the discussion to end my engagement. The choice was painful, l had to be honest with myself I was going into the marriage for all the wrong reasons. For a period of time, I felt lost, broken, unloved and unwanted. I decided to journal my way through the healing process and what I’ve discovered about myself was life changing. The biggest lesson I don’t have to settle to be happy. Read 90 Days of Reflection, Discovery & Renewal.

The Conversation is a collection of my short stories, poems, my award-winning play and an intimate conversation with my mother.

Both books are available on Amazon.

Did You Understand the Assignment?

my best buddy Peanut

Dear Readers,

Do not close your heart to LOVE. I do not know your experiences because I have not lived your life. I do not know who disappointed, neglect, abused, used, cheated, and committed acts of violence against you, that is not LOVE. I know that it is difficult to heal from the trauma of physical and emotional abuse. I know that what people do not see on the outside is broken on the inside. I know that it is not easy to bounce back from the cycle of dysfunctional relationships. But do not give up on LOVE.

I agree that you should protect yourself from people who have no good intentions towards you. I agree that you should guard you heart, mind, body, and soul from people who will drain you of kindness, compassion, and authentic LOVE. But, if you build a wall around your heart high and tight, shutting yourself away from engaging in social setting that will help you to heal, laugh, smile and to hope; you are robbing yourself of the chance encounter of meeting the one person who will give you authentic LOVE.

When you shelter your heart and mind locking yourself away soaking in the pain of the past, this will result in becoming a bitter, angry, resentful, sad, lonely, and depressed person. I agree that it scary this complicated world of TRUST and LOVE. It is saddening to observe the high number of people who live alone because they choose to give Love only to have their life devastated by an individual whose purpose was to steal, kill, abuse, and destroy 💔because they did not understand the assignment of LOVE.

I was young when I gave my heart away. And after years of dysfunctional relationships and living a life of trauma and emotional brokenness; thankfully, I found the path to healing, forgiveness of myself and other it has been a difficult but necessary journey. I am that person who have built the wall locking myself away from the evil hands and cruel heart of the wolves in sheep clothing. It is a lonely existence, but I feel safe. I long for the joys of companionship, the touch, kindness and warm of another loving human. Life is different when it is just one. I hope that one day that I will meet the one who understand the true assignment of LOVE ❤.

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water

Dear Readers 

News flash people are not recycled trash. I look around society and see how little regards people have for each other, especially in intimate relationships. Couples are disposing of their partners like they are recycled trash.

I dislike referring to people as trash, but there is no other metaphor I could think of to describe the inhumane manner people treat each other. People are not disposable, we cannot just disregard the time, energy, emotions, and love that an individual invests into a relationship or friendship to be thrown out like useless trash. It is said that ” one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” in other words, an item that one person throws away and does not see value in it another person sees potential.

People are not clothing items worn because it feels and looks good for a period, however without the proper care overtime the piece of clothing fades or becomes too small. Therefore, the item has outlived its usefulness. This is an example of how people are discarded. Clothing does not have feelings people do. I have seen people crushed by partner who brag about ” trading up” their partners for someone younger or richer referring to the former partner as “old trash.”  

I know people who take better care of their garbage than people do of each other. People lie, cheat, steal, kill, rape, molested, use, abuse, neglect, destroy, disrespect, dehumanize, degrade, belittle, take away another person’s innocence, and scheming causing another person to become emotionally broken and beaten down by mistreatment until there is nothing of value left to give. And then they are discarded like rubbish. 

People have become less valued. Employers choose profit over people. Some people in relationships choose materialism over their loved ones. Women go after the six figure salary men belittling and trash talking the hard-working average Joe. Men are more attracted to women who look like plastic Barbie dolls. We cannot view people as recycled trash wanting them transformed into someone more useful after being reprocessed. News flash human beings do not go through a trash refused process to become more useful to other people.

If this sounds like a rant, well partially it is. I disappointed and have lost hope and faith in humanity. People simply do not love and have compassion for their fellow kindred. The selfish and ill treatment that is displayed leaves me SMH. I know that we do not live in a perfect world and people change because of circumstances. What is it going to take to go back to the days of ” I am my brother’s keeper?” 

I often reminisce about the good old days when the people in the village cared and upheld standards of love, compassion, sympathy, care, and honor. Those were the days that people were seen for who they are good and honest. And nobody was thrown out with the trash.

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen.

Are You in Over Your Head?

Dear Readers,

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Balance is a simple word. It means to distribute weight evenly. Recently I forced myself to slow down by rearranging my schedule due to feeling overwhelmed.  Each passing day I began to declutter my schedule and gain a better perspective on how to solve the issue of rushing, and not getting enough rest.  The rest I am referring to isn’t about the recommended 7-8 of sleep. I mean resting from that never ending To Do List. 

The last two years I’ve examined the quality of activities in my life, and made some changes. First, I do not volunteer my time for anything unless I am benefiting from the activity. I no longer say yes to any requests unless I review my calendar. I stopped cramming my calendar with activities. In other words, what I did not need in my schedule is more activities, instead take the activities I do have an add Balance. 

I am preparing for retirement and I need the time to explore and research my plan to relocate and build a tiny house. At this stage of my life I no longer feel the need or have the energy to Grind. I have noticed as I am advancing in age my mind and body are no longer willing to cooperate with me working 16 hour days. What I need more of is Balance and Consistency in making the quality of my life a priority. 

I do not need to add more tasks to my To Do List. I need to practice Balance. Being busy doesn’t mean productivity. Have you ever stopped to question what you’re busy doing and why? I have recreated my To Do List into five areas of my life: health, worship, finances, rest, and retirement. The goal is to  prioritize these five areas and Balance my time to give equality and quality to the goals I want to achieve in these areas. For example, in the area of Rest, I have been traveling more and taking weekend mental breaks by staying at an airbnb. The more I take weekend breaks from the same routines I feel energized, refreshed and I have more clarity. 

It’s so easy to lose sight of the demands we place on these human bodies. When was the last time you paid attention to how mentally and emotionally drained your feelings? Society tells us to be positive, push through, be strong and that multitasking is good. What I observe is a population of people who are exhausted, angry, eating poorly, rushing from one activity to the next, not enough quality time spent at home, and taking less and less time for mental breaks and vacations. 

Declutter your schedule, home and workspace. Throw out that never ending To Do List. Cancel the bucket list. Create a Life List. Take time to critically think why you’re feeling overwhelmed. How do you rest?  How is your mental and emotional health? Don’t you think it’s worth taking time to slow down and practice Balance, Consistency and adding some peace and joy into your life. 

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen