ALL IS WELL

Dear Readers, 

Sometimes life has a way of stopping us in our tracks helping us understand life on life’s terms, and to see the other picture behind the bigger picture. People are blinded by striving for professional success and clawing their way up the class and economic ladder, due to being dissatisfied with their current class status. We wish for more and do our best to keep up the JONESES, while theorizing that the grass is greener on the other side.

That Was Me. 

People have told me that I am a late bloomer my life played out in reverse.. I was a high school dropout, unwed teenage mother, and experienced years of working low paying jobs. It took time, but I found my way back on the right path to acquiring an education, where I discovered the love of English Literature. Victory you say, yes, and no, my story doesn’t end there. I have enjoyed years of academic success, but what spoiled my triumph was that I brought into the societal notion that I should fit myself into the idealized American Dream. This piece isn’t about how I achieved my American Dream, on the contrary, I did not achieve any dream because I was trying too hard to adjust to someone else’s Idea about how my life should play out. It almost RUINED me, I brought into the claim that “ one size fits all”. 

It was my pursuit of an inmate partnership  meaning to find Mr. right and to “ settle down” into a long term loving partnership. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a loving partnership, however, what I was doing was “ Settling” . I was literally looking for love in all the wrong faces. I confess that I viewed being alone as a disease, when I should have embraced my alone time as time to work on me ,and make the foundation of life stronger. I did not understand how to be with myself, and that I was in charge of my happiness, instead of relying on others to give me what I need to give to myself. I suffered years of abusive relationships and never truly found the person to show me genuine love, honesty, support my career goals, and my vision of becoming an author, and talk show host. A few years ago I was almost homeless because the man that I was engaged to asked me to leave his home immediately, because I refused to submit to him controlling my life. I struggled with  years of being emotionally and financially broken, confused and angry.  

I used to complain that my life wasn’t successful, I viewed my life as “ wasteful” , and then I read this quote by Susan Samarro, “ Nothing you’ve been through has been wasted”. Before entering the teaching profession, I spent 13 years as a well paid theater manager at a wonderful Performing Arts Center. There I witnessed operas’ page to stage, film festivals, and artist in residence programs, not to mention some famous movies that were filmed at my venue. In 2006, I took a final curtain bow and began my Masters program in Education while working as a floor supervisor at The Learning Resource Center. After completing my education I dove head first into my love of teaching Literature. Sounds like the perfect comeback story, oh yes it is. It took me to be sheltered in place during this coronavirus pandemic, that ALL IS WELL. While the world is in chaos, being sheltered in place has given me the time, space and peace that I have never known. The time to set up my new apartment room by room, lesson learned never give up my place to move in with a man. Second lesson, being home means spending less money, paying off bills, reviewing my finances and on the path to repairing my credit, and the savings is great.I am learning that I am at my best when I live alone, but currently, I have a roommate who temporarily went back home to her family. I cherish this down time. It makes good financial sense to have the support of a roommate, but moving forward I enjoy my own space. 

All is well because I know who I am, what I want and how to bring joy into my life. I enjoy coffee in bed, and sleeping late, cooking vegan meals, laying on the sofa watching movies, while  sipping wine and eating popcorn. I like the peace, quiet and space to create. I like being with me. I am not giving up on finding my life partner, but this is no longer at the top of my bucket list.  Today, I can truly say with confidence  ALL IS WELL. I am moving forward with the courage of a lioness, the sky is not the limit because I will never place limitations on what I can accomplish. 

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen

Damaged

Dear readers,

2017 has seen an enormous amount of women and a few men who came forth with accounts of sexual harassment. Some of these victims of unwanted sexual assault are called “brave” for having the “courage” to speak out about these acts of inappropriate behavior. Some of these incidents have occurred 10 to 30 years ago, and some go so far back in time that I don’t think it is worth mentioning. Don’t take what I am saying out of context, I’m in no way trying to  downplay the “painful” experiences suffered by these victims, however, the questions on my mind is why now? And what do these victims hope to accomplish? Many of the voices who claim to have agonized in silence are currently living a lavish life style. We have heard the wounded say that at the time of the incident of inappropriate sexual behavior that was inflicted on them they, “did what they had to do” or “they did speak out in fear of no one believing them.”

I was stunned when James Levin my favorite composer for the MET, was suspended after sexual abuse accusations that involved unsuitable behavior towards young men. I was floored by the news of Matt Lauer, the former host of The Today Show, sudden termination. My attraction for becoming a long time viewer of The Today Show was due to the chemistry of Matt Lauer, Ann Curry, and Katie Couric, I guess I was wrong. The list of the accuser continues to grow, who will be next? Do these so-called powerful men truly feel remorse for their debauched conduct or are they embarrassed about the fact that they were caught with their pants down so to speak. The lawsuits have begun, they say, “it’s not about the money” then what is it about? Will the private settlements make the pain go away?

I recall when Anita Hill, was the first to publicly speak out about her experience of sexual harassment by her accuser Clarence Thomas. Her statement was questioned by public opinion when it was discovered that she was in Thomas employment on two different occasions and never mentioned his misconduct towards her until his confirmation hearing. During her days of testimony the political view from the Left and Right Wing Theorist, suggested that Hill was used to try to stop Thomas’s affirmation to the Supreme Court. After the dust settled and the smoke cleared, Hill realized that speaking out in her words was “poor judgment.” I digress.

My final say on this subject, to the so-called people in “power” in these places of employment, Hollywood, educational and religious institutions. Regardless of being a white or blue-collar worker, low-income, middle class, wealthy or the uber rich, it is not enough to say shame on you, or for you to seek forgiveness because of a few words of apology for your wicked behavior. You did what you did because you felt that you are above the law with your “power and money” reckoning day is here, and your reign of terror is over; your so-called “poor judgment” has resulted in permanent scares and a stain of distrust in the American people.

Word wall

Respect, honor, dignity,  courtesy,  courage,  believe,  faith, victorious,  inspire, greatness

Respect others and honor them with the dignity they deserve. Courtesy is a lost art let’s show courage and bring back the order of politeness towards each other. If we believe that together we shall achieve more then we will be victorious in our faith and inspire others to greatness.

What say you🌷

 

Damaged

Dear readers,

2017 has seen an enormous amount of women and a few men who came forth with accounts of sexual harassment. Some of these victims of unwanted sexual assault are called “brave” for having the “courage” to speak out about these acts of inappropriate behavior. Some of these incidents have occurred 10 to 30 years ago, and some go so far back in time that I don’t think it is worth mentioning. Don’t take what I am saying out of context, I’m in no way trying to  downplay the “painful” experiences suffered by these victims, however, the questions on my mind is why now? And what do these victims hope to accomplish? Many of the voices who claim to have agonized in silence are currently living a lavish life style. We have heard the wounded say that at the time of the incident of inappropriate sexual behavior that was inflicted on them they, “did what they had to do” or “they did speak out in fear of no one believing them.”

I was stunned when James Levin my favorite composer for the MET, was suspended after sexual abuse accusations that involved unsuitable behavior towards young men. I was floored by the news of Matt Lauer, the former host of The Today Show, sudden termination. My attraction for becoming a long time viewer of The Today Show was due to the chemistry of Matt Lauer, Ann Curry, and Katie Couric, I guess I was wrong. The list of the accuser continues to grow, who will be next? Do these so-called powerful men truly feel remorse for their debauched conduct or are they embarrassed about the fact that they were caught with their pants down so to speak. The lawsuits have begun, they say, “it’s not about the money” then what is it about? Will the private settlements make the pain go away?

I recall when Anita Hill, was the first to publicly speak out about her experience of sexual harassment by her accuser Clarence Thomas. Her statement was questioned by public opinion when it was discovered that she was in Thomas employment on two different occasions and never mentioned his misconduct towards her until his confirmation hearing. During her days of testimony the political view from the Left and Right Wing Theorist, suggested that Hill was used to try to stop Thomas’s affirmation to the Supreme Court. After the dust settled and the smoke cleared, Hill realized that speaking out in her words was “poor judgment.” I digress.

My final say on this subject, to the so-called people in “power” in these places of employment, Hollywood, educational and religious institutions. Regardless of being a white or blue-collar worker, low-income, middle class, wealthy or the uber rich, it is not enough to say shame on you, or for you to seek forgiveness because of a few words of apology for your wicked behavior. You did what you did because you felt that you are above the law with your “power and money” reckoning day is here, and your reign of terror is over; your so-called “poor judgment” has resulted in permanent scares and a stain of distrust in the American people.

Dreams without a plan is just a Dream

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.-Walt Disney