Getting to know me

Dear Readers,

Hello, hello, hello I’ve hope that you are enjoying Spring break, Easter and Passover celebration.  We are now in the season of spring a time of renewal Mother Nature is spreading her beauty around us. This is a perfect time to properly introduce myself to my audience and tell you about why I created Conversations with J. R.  Conversations with J. R Floyd, was created out of my frustrations and relationship struggles. I started to observe people in relationship and noticed that they experiencing relationship problems, but they aren’t communicating with their partners, they are  talking to other people about their pain and frustration. I don’t think that people enters relationships thinking the worst we all hope to have a long, loving and happy union, but along the way things happen in our lives that affect our relationships, and we sometime wait too long to address the problems in our relationships. On my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd   I’ve talked about:

1. Relationship expectations and how sometimes we hold our partners up to ridiculous expectation. Unbalanced relationship and how relationship becomes unbalanced, and how people Define their relationships.
2. Compatibility and being an individual within the relationship. I’ve read from both of my books. The Waiting Game and A different Flavor of Love. ( available on amazon)
3. I’ve talked about clearing the clutter out of our lives, not the clutter in your apartment, cars or garage. The Mental and emotional Clutter that hold us back from having better clarity about life.
4. I’ve talked about living your best life, which I’m doing right. I shared my battle with mental Illness and Dysfunctional relationships, and why some people stay in relationship past their due date. No I don’t think that relationships should have a due date, but sometimes they do.
5. You can check out these topics and more by subscribing to my YouTube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd. My channel presents a various array of topics. I talked about men and women empowerment, and the lost foundation of family. We move from generations to generation and the value of family has  lost its importance. 
6. On my journey of reflection, discovery and renewal I wrote another book about my experiences and my journey to find answers. I am not a psychologist, or a relationship expert, and I don’t give out advice. My goal is to engage people in conversations about relationship topics. I am combining my passion for teaching,  reading, writing and exploring to create a platform for people to have meaningful Conversations. I create a blog ( dragthepen on wordpress.com) and my YouTube channel ( Conversations with J. R. Floyd) as way to speak to the world about what other people are not talking to each other about. 
7. On this journey I discovered that I needed to give  myself over 100% to letting go and purging myself from all past events and traumas.  I’m willingly going through this process because have you noticed that holding onto old stuff is a lot more painful than letting them go. I am letting go to live my best life for me. Not preparing myself for a relationship people usually work on themselves to be better for someone else. I am working on myself to be better for me. I not longer choose to give my time and energy to areas of life that are not supporting my professional, spiritual, and personal growth. I am working on strengthening my self-worth. I have taken back ownership of my life I gave my life away because I didn’t know what I was doing.This winging it seems to be the theme that many people are doing. Many people are afraid to admit that they did not receive a good foundation about intimate relationships. I say, it is never to  late to learn. I am truly enjoying this part of my journey. There you have it. I have properly introduced myself to you and my mission. So come along with me on this journey of conversation, reflection, discovery and renewal you might be surprised about what you learn.  

STAY With Me

Dear Reader,

Commitment, promise, obligation, assurance or pledge, these are a few words that people use when they desire their partner to COMMIT to being involved in an exclusive relationship. To counteract this request men and women will come up with the most creative excuse as to why they do not want to seal the deal so to speak. In these modern times, developing a long-lasting partnership is becoming increasingly difficult to establish. The rules of partnership have changed because people want to test drive a relationship or want a trial period. Here are some facts people have been burnt, hurt, scorned, used, broken, and in some cases emotionally damaged beyond repair. Deep down inside we all desire to have a good, stable partnership, in my own personal opinion and experience relationships do not have to be as dramatic as some people make them. It is disparaging that we live in a society that seldom supports healthy relationships why? We are not creating an environment of support rather we turn our heads and pretend not to notice that couples, especially young couples are struggling with the basic knowledge of how to nurture each other and cultivate a solid foundation for their relationship. We live in a society where the means to fix a broken relationship is for each person to engage in relationships outside of their partnership, getting their needs meet because they claim that they are not receiving what they need from home. We have advanced into using any means necessary to avoid going home. Men calming they are working late and women take on projects that will keep them away from home. Better yet, one partner works in the daytime while the other works at night calming that this is the best solution for the children. There are hundreds if not thousands of books and article written by professional who claim to have a remedy to restore these damaged relationships. Maybe some of their suggestion and research-based solution might work for some, in the meantime, all of this dysfunction, drama and avoidance in relationships is all due to one simple word COMMIT.

What Say You?

Togetherness

Dear readers, a few words about togetherness

 

Relationship, courtships, friendship, partnership, marriage, cohabitation, shacking up, living in sin, monogamy, polygamy, polyandry, zoology, couples, a pair, twosome, duo, deuces, tow of a kind, heterosexual, homogeneous, …….. togetherness

what say you?

The Duel

Dear readers,

The allegory of the sword and the pen

One is no more dangerous than the other.

How say you?

The blade of the sword is Sharpe it’s made for cutting.

Well, the pen has a Sharpe tip that is capable of cutting with words.

Yes, I see your point.

They both can lose their edge.

Edge?

Yes, the sword becomes dull and needs to be sharpened.

The pen will run out of ink and must be refilled.

I see, but the sword can draw blood.

The pen will bleed if the top is removed.

A sword is used for protection.

Did you ever hear that the pen is mightier than the sword?

This is nonsense there is no comparison, a sword is bigger, powerful, dangerous and heavy.

Yes, but a pen is small, swift, light weight, and easy to conceal making it a secret and deadly weapon.

Aha! swords are used by knight who serve at court.

The ladies who write love letters to these lords of courtship use feather pens.

Touché’

What say you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Say You

Greetings readers,

I am back, did  you enjoyed your Independence day celebration?….Speaking of Independence

Some people  say, times have changed. I say, people have changed.

Flashback… to the days when wives stayed at home while husbands worked to support their families.

Moving forward to the birth of the women’s movement and feminist ideology causing women to leave their homes, and join the work force. However, women are still expected to come home and perform their domestic duties.  Most of the women I spoke to about women working outside of the home, said they felt that ” society and their families are punishing them for wanting to be recognized for more them just a stay at home house wife.”

The punishment these women are referring to is the labels given to “women who want have it all. They are called Superwoman or Ms. Independent, High maintain, and because they have a job, they don’t need a man. Women in the work force are belittled and told that they are trying to compete with men. So, chivalry is dead, because women raised their voices and want to have a say, instead of being dictated to by a cultural belief that “a women’s place is in the home.”

Back to the matter of women who feel they are being punished for wanting to earn a pay check, obtain an education and explore their creative abilities. Husbands are demanding that their wives  give of their earnings and contribute to the household expenses; as away of a wife ” doing her part.”

When referring to the financial situation in a relationship, I hear this phrase ” Whats mine is mine and whats hers is hers.” Gone are the days of what we earn is ours. Husbands are hiding money, wives have to conceal the fact that they have back account.  This why I say, people have changed.

The return of the mad Dater

Hello readers, pardon my absence, I was stricken with flu, or to put is as my son say, ” I was  on the bed of affliction.”

My last post I wrote a scenario revealing how some women are fooled  by seemly well intended admirers. These women allow themselves to be led  by emotions, instead with their minds. As I promised part two:  It’s all about the Ring , The flip side of the Dating Game.

Girl spots boy, boy shows a little interest, girl  makes the first play because boys isn’t moving  fast enough.

Girl slips boy her number, boys smiles but doesn’t call. Feeling frustrated, girl changes the game, she dresses seductively and slutty. Boy pretends to like what he see, he calls , she is excited, they make a date.

Girl cleans her place, cooks, wines and dines him, boys observation during dinner: she drinks too much, she talk too much, she is wearing  cheesy  lingerie,and she asks too many questions about his career and salary.

Boys thinks she is easy and looking to be a kept women.

Girl, turns up the heat, boys decides to play along.

In the mean time…..several months have passed, girl and boy are in an intimate courtship.

Girl is pushing for them to move in  together, boy resists.

Girl make hints about marriage, he ignores her, but he continues to enjoy the fruits of the physical relationship.

Girl is getting frustrated it’s approaching the one year mark and still no ring. She is desperate and plans a trip. he agrees because she is playing for the ” romantic getaway.”

While hanging out in their boudoir, she encourages him to drink lots of champagne. Time for romance, girl pokes holes into condom, boy unaware.

Six weeks later pregnancy test positive, girl excited, she breaks the news to him, he is disappointed, but vows to take care of the child.

She continues to try to win him over, all efforts fail.

….Fast forward one year later,  she  bumps into boy and another girl, he introduces her as his wife.

Girl crying asking why? Why did she get the ring?

I can answer that question. It’s not about getting the ring or setting traps to get it.  Its a mans desire to have a woman in his life that represents honesty, self respect and above all she should  have class and standards.  Men of integrity can spot women who are entering a relationship with less than honorable intention. To some women getting a ring is about establishing a life time of security and they will do what ever it take to hold onto the ring not the man.

What say you?

Notes from the mad dater: the saga continues

Photo by Mike Jones on Pexels.com

History, before I continue on,  a brief overview of my past might be beneficial, so to keep a long story short; its been four years since  my last relationship, that lasted 18 months. Prior to that I spent six blissful years with Mr. Wonderful.  I should note that I did met either of my latest beaus through an online dating service.

Anyway, On my journey to find a life partner, one of my closest friends heard through the gossip grape-vine,that I am in search of a serious long-term relationship. She felt the need to lend her support by giving me a copy of an New York Times article dated, Jan 9, 2015, titled, Quiz: The 36 questions that lead to love” by Daniel Jones. My first thought was, What the Hell? Here’s short version: These 36 questions are meant to probe deep into the mind of a prospective love interest. The purpose is to open the heart and mind to accept love and honesty.

Okay, I read through the questions, my second thought was, not bad,however, the quiz takes 90 minutes, that’s the suggested time limited. The creators of these questions is a brilliant group of psychologist who suggest that these questions will eliminate small talk, and will disclose openness and truth.

Wow! so, now the task is for me to find participants who are willing to sit for 90 minutes to ask and answer questions. That’s going to be one helluva 1st date.

If your curious  about the 36 questions and I know you are, go to: htt://nyti.ms/BWQijj (the 36 questions that lead to love)

What Say you?

The Dairy of a mad Dater

In the interest of reviving my dying blog ( dragthepen) I’ve decided to make a bold move, and allow the few readers who are paying attention and those who aren’t, to have inside access to my latest project. Although I don’t think I should call searching for a life partner a project, its  more like an experiment because I will be using expert courtship advice; something I’ve never done before.

I feel no shame that I’ve confessed out-loud that I’m going back out into the unknown world of COURTSHIP. Please take notice that I did not use the word dating because in today’s society, the word dating has a negative reputation; to some dating means that a person is sleeping around.

At the age of 52 I am not looking for a one night stand, a booty call or a good lay. I’m in the mood for an old fashion COURTSHIP; not the usual after three dates tag your it or not. I’ve been in the desert for several years, I am committed to taking take the necessary steps to slowly climb my way out of the dry and baron exile of single-hood.  Over the next four months ( May 1-September -1) I will sign in with interesting tag lines like, ” he loves me or loves me not,” or ” another one bites the dust.” The end goal is not to find the perfect mate, but to at least find a suitable companion…more details to come.

What say you?