Who are you dating?

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Dear Readers,

Dating has become a dangerous game. Back in the day dating had a purpose simply put to find a life partner. Today, people date with hidden agendas. It’s disturbing to know that there is individual who purposely scheme and prey on people to engage in a fake relationship.

Some people date or participate in a relationship based on another person’s salary, the car they drive, and how much material items this person is willing to give them. This type of person is a freeloader, or an opportunist because they see their victims as an opportunity and a convenience. And when the next person comes along who can offer them more they conveniently leave the person they are dating (or engaged in a false relationship) without regards to the emotional damage they leave behind.

There is the serial dater. Meaning, the person who dates or engage in a relationship with two or multiple people at the same. These in between daters don’t have a sense of feeling that they are doing any harm. They justified this disrespectful behavior by claiming to be in love with the people they are dating; and they swear on a stack of bibles that they find it difficult to make the choice to be with one person. LIES!

Then there is the Representative, if you’re dating this type of person these are people who show up and portray themselves as the ideal mate or the person who is just right for you. They present themselves as the quintessential person to have a romantic relationship with. They exhibit qualities that can woo and fool the best of us. The problem with these Representatives is that their intentions are wrong. They are not who they say they are. Their primary goal is to scheme, deceive, breakdown, and destroy their victims; while engaging in a false relationship. When these Representatives have accomplished his or her mission, they move on quickly, leaving in their path emotional and financial bankrupt people; who have no idea until it’s too late that they have been bamboozled by a Representative.

Have you found yourself dating a Visitor, meaning a person who shows up like a guest. The Visitor will claim to be committed to the relationship, but not as a full-time partner. The Visitor will make an appearance only when the time is convenient for them. Dating a Visitor is like being at a pit stop; they will come through to have their needs attend to, and before you can blink they are gone. The Visitor can appear and disappear in and out of a relationship like a magician. Being in a relationship or dating situation with a Visitor is emotionally and mentally draining so, the next time you observe yourself dating a Visitor, put out a No Vacancy sign.

At the first encounter there is no meter to measure whether the person we seek to be in a relationship is who they say they are, and have good intention. I recommend that when dating take your time, don’t rush and when something doesn’t feel right go with that feeling. Don’t wait around for another person to complete who you are. You are enough as you are. Love yourself like you want the others person to love you. When you don’t resolve baggage from past relationships and behave in a desperate manner that’s when you fall victim to these people who are Freeloaders, Representatives, and Visitors. Pay attention to what they say or don’t say. There are warning signs, but people become so involved in the emotional rollercoaster while dating that they loses sight of the warning signs. For the people who have lost faith in finding love, be the love that you want to receive.

What say You? Check out my You Tube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd for more realtionship topics.

What Say You

Greetings readers,

I am back, did  you enjoyed your Independence day celebration?….Speaking of Independence

Some people  say, times have changed. I say, people have changed.

Flashback… to the days when wives stayed at home while husbands worked to support their families.

Moving forward to the birth of the women’s movement and feminist ideology causing women to leave their homes, and join the work force. However, women are still expected to come home and perform their domestic duties.  Most of the women I spoke to about women working outside of the home, said they felt that ” society and their families are punishing them for wanting to be recognized for more them just a stay at home house wife.”

The punishment these women are referring to is the labels given to “women who want have it all. They are called Superwoman or Ms. Independent, High maintain, and because they have a job, they don’t need a man. Women in the work force are belittled and told that they are trying to compete with men. So, chivalry is dead, because women raised their voices and want to have a say, instead of being dictated to by a cultural belief that “a women’s place is in the home.”

Back to the matter of women who feel they are being punished for wanting to earn a pay check, obtain an education and explore their creative abilities. Husbands are demanding that their wives  give of their earnings and contribute to the household expenses; as away of a wife ” doing her part.”

When referring to the financial situation in a relationship, I hear this phrase ” Whats mine is mine and whats hers is hers.” Gone are the days of what we earn is ours. Husbands are hiding money, wives have to conceal the fact that they have back account.  This why I say, people have changed.

Who should We Believe?

Professional dating advice truth or fluff?

What Say You?