Sister’s Can You Relate?

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I want to start dating again, but as a woman I don’t know if this is politically correct. Why, because women are told that they are supposed to wait for their husband, and that women are not to chase men rather they are to pursue us. However, the ultimate question is what does dating mean? In my case I went from a naive 17 year old virgin to a clueless teenager mother, and all of my experiences with dating were horrible. I thought that dating meant getting married and riding off into the sunset happily ever after. Looking back I now understand that I didn’t have to respond to every man that whistled at me, and that some men inttention weren’t honorable.

Anyway, I’ve spend years going through the healing process from a abused childhood, survivor of domestic volience, and other dysfunctional intimate situationships. The darkness and chaos in my life lead me to seek help to understand why my life was out of order. It’s been a long and painful process of self reflection, therapy, diving into self help books, yoga, self care retreats, choosing to remain single, no dating and practicing celibacy.
Despite all the new knowledge I have aquired my journey has been lonely. But I had to do what was needed to understand the behavior, thinking, and addictive patterns that kept me in a cycle of depression, relationship drama, and repeating the same mistakes both professionally and personally. Year after year I purged myself of the demons of my past. I feel good about where I am in life. I have a better vision of my purpose, how and what I need to accomplish my goals, but what I lack is companionship from a partner that’s my equal.

At the age of 57, I desire to be courted respectfully and properly, with sincerity instead of lies and con games. I need pure dating without the pressure of quick meaningless intimacy. I have various interest, I love the outdoors camping life style, driving cross country, exploring new cusine, gardening, reading, cooking and entertaining family and friends. I am working towards building a tiny house for retirement, and will continue to pursue, publishing books, blogging, and entering a new stage of my career as a public speaker. I still have some self work to do, but I know that I can enter a relationship fresh with less baggage. The only hinders besides getting past the fear of dating is waiting until it is safe to go out and meet people due to the coronavirus. In the meantime, I will remain hopeful.

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Thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

Who are you dating?

Photo by Budgeron Bach on Pexels.com

Dear Readers,

Dating has become a dangerous game. Back in the day dating had a purpose simply put to find a life partner. Today, people date with hidden agendas. It’s disturbing to know that there is individual who purposely scheme and prey on people to engage in a fake relationship.

Some people date or participate in a relationship based on another person’s salary, the car they drive, and how much material items this person is willing to give them. This type of person is a freeloader, or an opportunist because they see their victims as an opportunity and a convenience. And when the next person comes along who can offer them more they conveniently leave the person they are dating (or engaged in a false relationship) without regards to the emotional damage they leave behind.

There is the serial dater. Meaning, the person who dates or engage in a relationship with two or multiple people at the same. These in between daters don’t have a sense of feeling that they are doing any harm. They justified this disrespectful behavior by claiming to be in love with the people they are dating; and they swear on a stack of bibles that they find it difficult to make the choice to be with one person. LIES!

Then there is the Representative, if you’re dating this type of person these are people who show up and portray themselves as the ideal mate or the person who is just right for you. They present themselves as the quintessential person to have a romantic relationship with. They exhibit qualities that can woo and fool the best of us. The problem with these Representatives is that their intentions are wrong. They are not who they say they are. Their primary goal is to scheme, deceive, breakdown, and destroy their victims; while engaging in a false relationship. When these Representatives have accomplished his or her mission, they move on quickly, leaving in their path emotional and financial bankrupt people; who have no idea until it’s too late that they have been bamboozled by a Representative.

Have you found yourself dating a Visitor, meaning a person who shows up like a guest. The Visitor will claim to be committed to the relationship, but not as a full-time partner. The Visitor will make an appearance only when the time is convenient for them. Dating a Visitor is like being at a pit stop; they will come through to have their needs attend to, and before you can blink they are gone. The Visitor can appear and disappear in and out of a relationship like a magician. Being in a relationship or dating situation with a Visitor is emotionally and mentally draining so, the next time you observe yourself dating a Visitor, put out a No Vacancy sign.

At the first encounter there is no meter to measure whether the person we seek to be in a relationship is who they say they are, and have good intention. I recommend that when dating take your time, don’t rush and when something doesn’t feel right go with that feeling. Don’t wait around for another person to complete who you are. You are enough as you are. Love yourself like you want the others person to love you. When you don’t resolve baggage from past relationships and behave in a desperate manner that’s when you fall victim to these people who are Freeloaders, Representatives, and Visitors. Pay attention to what they say or don’t say. There are warning signs, but people become so involved in the emotional rollercoaster while dating that they loses sight of the warning signs. For the people who have lost faith in finding love, be the love that you want to receive.

What say You? Check out my You Tube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd for more realtionship topics.

Why Play Games?

Dear readers,

The Dating game, the Newlywed game, the Bachelorette, and the Bachelor are shows for entertainment. However, relationships in real life are not games, and should not be used for amusement. No one deserves to be played, used or deceived by an individual who believes that dating or the sacred bond of marriage is a game.

Taking people for granted and having a lack of consideration for the emotional and physical investment, not to leave out trust one person puts into establishing a relationship, only  to be fooled by a mean, underhanded, evil partner who is playing a game. I address these issues concerning the damage caused to people, especially, women in my new book, The Waiting Game, by J. R. Floyd, Now Available on Amazon.

Happy reading.

What Say You?

Truth Lies Buttons Shows Honest Or Dishonesty

 

The dating game: more like the faking game. Its all about the cookie

Dear Readers,

The game starts like this:

Boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy is interested, but doesn’t like girl as much.

Boy pretends he’s interested in the things she likes: going to the museums, picnics in the park and attending church.

Boy goes along for a while, girl makes a mistake and invites him to her place.

Boys likes this, he can make himself comfortable, spend less money going out, and he doesn’t have to put up with going to those annoying events she likes.

The trap is slowly set, first, he starts to cancel dates; girl puts up with this behavior. Boy gets smart he suggests that they do things he enjoys, like lying around her place. Girl, objects, boy reminds her how he indulged her in all the activities she enjoys.

Girl gives in after all he is right, isn’t he?

Boy brings over wine and Chinese food. Soon, he ask her to prepare him home cooked meals.

Girl remembers what her mother told her, ” never do wife duties without being a wife.” But she obliges him.

One night boy drinks too much wine and ask to sleep over, girl isn’t comfortable with this, she tells him he has to sleep on the sofa, boy is slick, he agrees.

The next day girl thinks, wow! what a gentlemen, he slept on the sofa without an argument. Girl is being pulled deeper and deeper into boys trap.

Girl, suggests he stay over on weekends, boy agrees. Girl allows him to sleep in the bedroom.

Boy moves slow.

Friday night, they go dancing, both have drinks, however, he drinks less than her, but girls doesn’t notice.

They go back to her place, boys tells her how beautiful she is  and that they should make their relationship official, girl agrees. Morning  comes boy is  gone.

A few days pass she doesn’t hear from him. she calls, he doesn’t answer. She wonders what went wrong.

I can answer that he got what he wanted “THE COOKIE.”

This happens time and time again to women who met men who fake the dating game.

What say you?