Tagged: denial

Faking the Funk

Dear readers,

“Letting Go”

What does it mean to let go?  When people get a divorce, they are told, let it go and move on. So, what they’re saying is let go of the reason for falling in love, having children, and making memorizes? When people lose the career that they spend a life time to achieve, they are told to let go and move on. The question is move on to what? To a job market that is uncertain, and God forbid if your over forty, then you face age and maybe gender discrimination, or starting from the bottom again. Does letting go means pretending that the situation, problem, or the event didn’t happen? Does letting go and moving on mean a clean slate and starting over again? How many times have you heard, suck it up, take your licks like a man, don’t cry over split milk, pick yourself off the ground, let it go and move on. I say, feel the pain of the lose, go through the stages of shock, grief, denial, and acceptance before letting go and moving on. In some circumstances people are too eager to move on that they don’t take time to find closure or make peace with what they couldn’t change. Unfortunately, it occasionally takes a brick wall so to speak for people to realize that they have been carrying around emotional baggage, resentment and bitterness all because they were eager to “Let Go and Move On”

What say you?

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Reality Check

Dear readers,

Lately, I’ve called attention to people’s mannerism or lack thereof, and the words that we use or have taken out of our vocabulary. My parents raised me and my siblings to see the good in people, to share, be kind, and if we didn’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  I know that their instructions were given with love and for intention, to see their children mature into caring adults. However, they were raised during an era when people had different values, and family and community was a very important part of everyday life.

Fast-forward………. Today most people don’t think in terms of what’s good for their community or family. It is difficult for me to come to terms with the truth that are “Self-thinking.” And that Self-centered people don’t have any sentiments about the impact that their negative, selfish, and arrogance have on others. Recently, my blinders were unkindly ripped from my eye, to my astonishment I’ve been living in denial. Let the truth be told, people have become cold and malicious, I regret that there is no “Nice” way to say this. I’ve spent too much time making excuses for people who aren’t “good.” I’ve gave freely of my time to people who didn’t deserve it.  My time would have been better spent volunteering at an animal shelter. First, for my love of cats and dogs, second, they are deserving of the love and the time I give to them.

Now, the last part of my parent advice, “say something nice” I’m happy that I no longer exist in denial, and that the blinders are off, it never too late to learn. I intend to be on my guard, I will ask questions, no longer will I give freely of my time, and finally, everyone who smiles or calls me friend don’t necessarily have good intentions.

What say you.