Prince Charming Left the Building

Dear Readers,

It’s been a long time since I’ve talked about a relationship topic. The world has been turned upside down by this pandemic, and people have more pressing issues to think about then relationships. I’ve heard people talk about the challenges they faced during the first half of the pandemic when we were ordered to be sheltered in place. 

Now that some restrictions have been lifted I guess people are beginning to venture out and start to date again. In my case I’ve been dateless for two years, partly by choice and also because I am on a journey of healing and self discovery, but I know I can’t hide forever. 

What do men and women like me do when they fear going back out into the hopeless society of dating. My first book entitled The Waiting Game is inspired by my tragic relationships and my  misconception that everyone in the dating game is  looking for the real deal. 

It took a lot for me to admit to myself and to confess to you that I don’t want to be alone, don’t get my message wrong, I am comfortable with my own company, and I will continue to discover more of who I am and what I need and don’t need from an intimate relationship. The bottom line for me is that I am afraid of being played again, and having to start over getting to know someone new and thinking about who to truth. 

In the past I realized I moved to fast in the relationships that turned out to be messy situationships. not only did I move too fast, but I allowed myself to be pushed in directions that I felt uncomfortable with. Is it just me or my thinking that men are not interested in being patient and taking things slow. They want to know right away what’s in it for them in other words they are not wasting their time if they are getting their needs met. 

I am 57 years old and it’s been my experience that men my age want younger women. You know the type of  OG’s  who are looking to relieve their youth.  Or the men I use to meet who are only interested in netflix and chill nights at home. Now that the coronavirus is here this adds another hindrance, so now I don’t dare think about venturing out into the dating scene.

Listen, I am not asking for prince charming to come alone and sweep me off my feet, that fantasy sailed a long time ago. It’s  simple: where are the honest men who haven’t been tinted by gold diggers, cheating women, or been broken and beaten by too many bad relationships, not on the DL,  know who they are what they want, and are emotionally stable and want to be in a relationship for the right reasons. Where are the men who appreciate women like me who go out every day to earn an honest living, have a plan for the future, good family and friend relationships, and live by a moral code of good ethics and values. 

Where are the men who desire to be in a monogamous relationship without the urge to have side pieces. Where are the men who dare to go the distance in a long term partnership regardless of the ditches and valleys. Where are the men  who are willing to accept me for who I am the way I am and not reject me based on what I don’t have. 

Where are the men who don’t believe in being community property by sleeping around and collecting baby mamas. Where are the men who understand their responsibility and accountability when they make the decision to enter into a relationship they claim they want. It’s simple, just be honest with yourself first, I don’t want to be played or layed. I desire to be respected, except, loved, protected, supported and understanding for my life vision and open communication. I want honesty, romance, creativity, someone with a strong family bond, confidence, intelligence, sense of humor, good hygiene and healthy eating habits, belief in God, and someone who believes in friendship is the foundation of any relationship. 

I don’t know where these men are but if they are out there somebody let them know that women like me are waiting for them.

Are You a Passive Participant in your Life?

Dear Readers, 

By now you should be familiar with who I am and what I do. Recently, I posted my welcome video to Conversations with J. R. Floyd, my latest project on my YouTube channel, decided to issues that impact our intimate relationships and explore problems that destroy families. This month ( July 2020)  I am celebrating my 2nd anniversary for my  YouTube channel, and my path to healing years of emotional and spiritual brokenness. At the beginning of 2020, I asked my viewers, readers, bloggers, and supporters to join me in this year’s Theme of writing letters to self. This idea came to me while I was penning my third book, 90 Days of Reflection, Discovery and Renewal. During my journey of journaling for 90 days, I discovered that there were areas of my life that I thought that I had healed, but certain events in my life brought to my awareness that I need to revisit some old wounds that really hadn’t healed completely.   

I have written letters to myself, to people, ( My mother and father), to my supporters, to life, and to love, however, I never sat down and wrote a letter addressed to me. I spent years walking through life in a fog, meaning that my life had no direction nor did I have any good role models to support me. I walked around in darkness and pain, but  I wasn’t aware that I was suffering, I covered up my pain and distress by engaging in one bad relationship after another. I worked out like a fiend and stick to a strict vegetarian diet. I wanted everyone to see that I had my life together, but the truth was I would go home and fall to my knees in tears because wearing masks was exhausting. 

It wasn’t enough that I had worked my way through College, an accomplishment that I never celebrated because I wanted others to praise me and put me on a petals, and when this didn’t happen the seeds of anger were planted. When I didn’t get my dream job or what I thought was my dream,  the seeds of anger sprouted into buds of resentment.  It never dawned on me that I was spewing my bitterness at the wrong people. I didn’t know that I was supposed to create the life I wanted, instead, I was under the impression that life was supposed to bring me what I wanted just by me thinking it. I thought that if I was a “ good girl” and did all the right things, walk a “ good path” that all things good would come to me. So, I wasted years of my life hoping, wishing, praying, crying and wondering when am I going to catch a break? All this time I didn’t understand that I was a passive participant in my own life. It wasn’t until someone said to me, “ you don’t wait for people to give you an opportunity, you make your own” that Was in 2014. Since that time I’ve become an active participant in my own life.

The change didn’t happen overnight and I have had some setbacks, but the lessons and the progress I’ve made in the last three years is amazing. Blogging, publishing my own books, living my dream of singing in a classical chorus, traveling, creating my YouTube channel, and my latest project a new website Conversations with J. R. Floyd. I teach vision board workshops and coach people how to make their visions for their life a reality. I go to bed each night with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Pursuing an intimate relationship is no longer a priority. I surrounded myself with people who encourage and support my life vision and growth. I cherish my new found peace and clarity, and looking forward to the new change in my career as a Case Planner working with children in foster care. My first love will always be teaching, but it is time for change. 

  

Thank you for stopping my dragthepen

        

both of my books are available on Amazon

Just a Thought

Dear readings,

The Law of Greed and Reward: taking from the poor and giving to the rich. Wrapping ourselves in Selfish demeanor like a warm fur coat, finding Pleasure in the agony inflected on the less favorable. They say, ” I am Strong, therefore, you are Weak.” Preying on the innocent  souls who are powerless to fight back. ”  I say, Shameful.” This great universe would be a better place  of existence, if we Disconnect from the chaos, and Discover that, ” Love is the only law to obey” Ziggy Marley

What say you?