Greener Grass part 2

Dear Readers, greener grass part 2       

They say, ” the grass is greener on the other side because it’s watered.”

I say, ” it’s not that the grass is greener, or the water, rather it’s about the quality of the seed”.  To my knowledge every good thing begins with a stable foundation. 

This thought came to me by way of a conversation about people who experience difficulty establishing quality inmate relationships or lasting friendships ( BFF).  I think that all relationship’s should begin by observing the quality of people’s character, morals, and values. So often people get caught up in the tide of emotions graped by feelings of neediness  that this leads some people to be blind sided and unaware of the warning signs of disturbing behavior and patterns from the individuals who are the objects of their desires.  

Some people develop the habit of moving from relationship to relationship thinking that the grass will be greener on the other side when they become dissatisfied with the behavior of their partner. This society is overwhelmed with serial daters and people who are addicted to looking for love and friendship in all the wrong faces. A new relationship won’t fix when people are unwilling to understand the root cause of ” where did we go wrong.” Sometimes it is not always the “we” but the “me.” or the failure to take the time to understand the emotional adjustments and many compromises an individual sacrifice in a relationship and friendship in order to make

 “ The grass greener.” In other words, I think people forget that a relationship is a partnership, it takes both persons to make the time and effort to work together to weed out problems, nurture each other, and understand personalities. Let me put it this way, no two lawns are the same, the greener, healthier and plush grass is not only due to it being watered. It is the attention of the owner, who takes the time to plant the best seed, weed, water, cut and feed the growing grass because the owner takes pride in the fruits of his labor. The lawn that begins its foundation with cheap seed, unnurtured soil, lacks regular watering, bearing weeds and overgrown with neglect,  due to the owner not caring for what he has. 

The seed is your foundation, nurture it and watch it grow.

Why Am I always in the Friend Zone?

We are what We Think

Dear Readers,

The challenges of the LGBTQ community I know not, here’s what I  have observed the emotional, physical and psychological turmoil that some individuals encounter, and  the population most effected young adults who seldom loose connection with their family due to coming out. I approach writing about some of the problems within the LGBTQ community with much hesitance. This posting is not about religious or political correctness, or who is right or wrong. I am writing this from a viewpoint of observing people mistreated, demeaned and in a few cases lives taken, such as in the case of Matthew Shepard his murder gave the nation a deep and disturbing look at hate crimes committed against people in the LBGTQ community. In Detroit, two Gay men and A Transgender women were murdered because they were a part of the LGBTQ community. The labels of being sick, perverse, unnatural, evil, an abomination, freaks, perverts, and many other countless ways angry heterosexuals refer to people of the LGBTQ community. Heterosexual men and women are afraid that their own sexuality will be questioned if they are in the company of LGBTQ people. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and the deeply religious people pride their Christian faith on, “loving thy neighbors as thy self,” but little love and support is expressed towards the population of young adults who are struggling to find their space in a society that condemns them. The LGBTQ community have made progress in helping to create laws that protects them, the question is why should they need protection under the banner of the Declarations of  Independence that declares that ” all men are created equal”  which can be interpreted as ” all of humanity”. I say, it is unfair for a people to have to fight for recognition and inclusion in a society that deems them outcasts’ because of who they choose to love and simply for being whom they are. If any of my readers interrupt, my voice as  taking sides and supporting the LGBTQ community, my response is that I am supportive of people, humanity,  and their right to have “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” We cannot as a nation continue to be selective of who can and cannot be protected under the law.

It seems so easy to HATE than to open our hearts and minds towards understanding and compassion. I have witnessed and know of many cases where children are turned out of their homes because they came out to their family. I hear Ministers preaching with vigor about the abomination of being a part of the LGBTQ community, yet the church is overran with corruption, Pastors stepping down due to misconduct, discrimination, adultery, and thievery. I state this boldly, having been a daughter of a Pastor, and witnessed these acts of sin within the wall of a place that is supposedly to be a house of worship for all and a safe haven. Moreover, for the Bible toting believers in Christ, who’s only defense is to quote Genesis 2:18, I remind my readers that the Bible has been written and rewritten more time than we can count by men. The public’s opinion and judgment against the LGBTQ community is simply that their way of life is wrong, however, strong this opinion, no one have presented factual events as to why they are wrong. History has proven that there has been same sex couple since the creation of the first civilization. We as a society have become accustomed to offering our voices towards the discrimination of individuals and groups we feel do not fit into a certain standard. Look back at our history Slavery, Immigrants, the poor, the uneducated, gender bias that led to the 1920’s women’s suffrage movement and other feminists movements, and people who are born with mental and physical disabilities. In today’s, modern society we continue to classify individuals based on income, class, skin color, body sizes, and preference of hairstyles. The problems that is tarnishing our ability to live in peace is the continued belief  that people should be judged based on what those in power think, and then the majority follows along without give thought to the lives that are affected due to actions of bigotry. We have learned nothing from our past, when will we as a nations in the word of the late Martin Luther King Jr, when will we live in society were people are not judged by anything but “the content of their character.”

 

To my readers, this is not the end, but the beginning; in 2020, I will produce a documentary based on the thoughts, experiences and lives of young adults who have been affected by coming out. Stay tuned….

 

What say you?  Dragthepen

Faking the Funk

Dear readers,

“Letting Go”

What does it mean to let go?  When people get a divorce, they are told, let it go and move on. So, what they’re saying is let go of the reason for falling in love, having children, and making memorizes? When people lose the career that they spend a life time to achieve, they are told to let go and move on. The question is move on to what? To a job market that is uncertain, and God forbid if your over forty, then you face age and maybe gender discrimination, or starting from the bottom again. Does letting go means pretending that the situation, problem, or the event didn’t happen? Does letting go and moving on mean a clean slate and starting over again? How many times have you heard, suck it up, take your licks like a man, don’t cry over split milk, pick yourself off the ground, let it go and move on. I say, feel the pain of the lose, go through the stages of shock, grief, denial, and acceptance before letting go and moving on. In some circumstances people are too eager to move on that they don’t take time to find closure or make peace with what they couldn’t change. Unfortunately, it occasionally takes a brick wall so to speak for people to realize that they have been carrying around emotional baggage, resentment and bitterness all because they were eager to “Let Go and Move On”

What say you?

Body Shaming, a choice or discrimination?

Dear readers,

 

” Body shaming is a negative statement and attitude towards another persons weight or size.”

I am told that setting standards when seeking a life partner is important. In a prospective partner we look for compatibility and good characteristics like: someone who is caring, humble, generous, and self assured. Some people rely on chemistry, “a connection of a bond or common feeling between two people.” For others, physical attraction is important, meaning features that are considered aesthetically pleasing or beautiful.

Question, have you found yourself staring  at a couple who is noticeably gorgeous from head to toe; or the opposite, the women is more physically fit than her male companion, and vice a versa? The general consensus is that aesthetics should not be a deal breaker when choosing a partner.

We all know the saying” beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Haven’t  you noticed the world is leaning towards outer beauty? A well toned body is a mandatory requirement regardless of  the person’s personality, standards or morals. There are ads that are dedicated to Body Shaming most  are directed towards women. What is most shameful is  people are using body shaming as a form of discrimination when selecting a partner. These people are sending a clear message that based on an individuals physically appearance that they are good enough.

What Say You?