Sweet Smell of Life

Dear Readers,  I lost everything, or at least I thought I did. Two years ago my life was turned upside down, first, I lost my apartment, and broke off my engagement, in two years I have moved four times into roommates situations. In the progress of moving I had to let go of material items. Things that I put blood and sweat into purchasing. I gave them away to people who were in need, and the most painful of all I had to leave my entire bedroom set in my old apartment because I didn’t have the time or many to put everything in storage.

When life hits you with an unexpected curve ball and in my case several curve balls, you learn how to put things in prospective, at least this is what I did. For the last year I have lived in a beautiful four bedroom apartment with two bathrooms with a great roommate, but I spend the bulk of my time in my room. What I have gained is the knowledge of how to live with less and be happy. In a few months December 1, 2019, I will officially, move into my own apartment, and I am looking forward to starting from ground zero, and living the next half of my life as a MINIMALIST. I live with just what I need and understanding that material processions don’t mean that I have quality of life, its just stuff that I worked hard to acquire, and sometimes don’t enjoy.

Refocusing my means having  time to slow down, experience and enjoy peace at home, and time to rediscovery and discover who I am. I’ve revisited the joys of reading books that have lead to me to understand that I was basically in a fog for years, and that I wasn’t living my best life. In two years, I have traveled, keep promises to myself that I have pushed back for years. I do more impromptu things, I focus more on me, health, and most important  I keep a daily gratitude journal. Yes. I know you have heard this over and over that a good life is a life that is filled with Gratitude. Since June I’ve been keeping a morning and evening Gratitude journal. I’ve practice the habit of starting my day with extra time to sit in peace, listen to a motivational video, journal, reflect, and plan that my day is going to be a good one. No matter how bad I think a day is I look forward to looking for five things that I have to be thankful for that day.

I am literally starting from ground zero with everything. my new apartment won’t be stuff with things, but it will be pretty, and filled with dinners with family and friends. I am refocusing my priorities in the order of important, spending more time on the goals that are important to me like, my next two books, my YouTube channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, rejoicing in the release of my new website, Conversations with J. R. Floyd on Squarespace ( October 2019).  I use to think of starting over as a depressing life event, I don’t anymore. I see starting from ground zero as a chance to start fresh and leave the old drama behind. I look forward to each day because I have new goals that will become a reality now that I  know how to prioritize, plan, slow down, keep distractions away.   Sometime an ending and be a new beginning. If this is you, don’t look back,  life is so much better when you look forward.

Here is the five things that I have to be thankful for today.

  1. Today,I am thankful that I didn’t allow the hands of depression to control me.
  2. Today, I am thankful for good health.
  3. Today, I am thankful that I have a chance to rebuild my life from ground zero.
  4. Today, I am thankful to have something to be thankful for.
  5. Today, I am thankful because I can look forward to living my best life.

J. R. Floyd, Dragthepen

I challenge you to list  Five things that you are thankful for?8 ways you gain when you accept change, Tips from Sharvi.

The lost Value of Relationships

Dear Readers,

It no longer takes a village because we live in a world that has lost the  meaning, value and  the foundation of relationships. There is so much separation of people due to race, class and economic status. We tend to view relationships as obligations or as inconvenience if there is nothing to gain. We place requirements and conditions in order to engage in relationships……I say more in this vlog. Thank you for watch.

 

 

” The Waiting Game” by J. R. Floyd

Setting the Stage

Dear readers,

It is said that if you stop looking for love it will come to you, and if you love someone,
set him free; if the relationship is meant to be, he will come back. Well, in my case, this saying
is a myth. I am a 52-year-old mother of one and grandmother of three. I had one short horrible
marriage and several hit- and -run relationships.
I thought that I once had the love of my life, but he ran for the hills when I mentioned
marriage. I found out that most of my lovers moved on to get married and live happy lives.
What is so painful about reliving these memories is that none of these men thought that I was
wife material or good enough to be the mother of his children.
There is something very evil and disturbing about men who will have sex with you, lie to
you, play you like a fiddle, while closing the door in your face.
I had a few of them come back, but I was not smart enough to understand that I was
just a layover before they moved on again. What is it about me that either scares men away,
attracts losers, or beckons to men who simply don’t get me?
Most of them came with too many requirements and baggage: baggage in the form of
ex-wives who had not moved on, or ex- girlfriends who have not really become exes. In each
relationship, I was expected to change and make adjustments, compromise, give up, give in
until I gave out. I was not sexy enough; I did not dress sluttily enough to suit their taste, I was
too conservative, too aggressive, and too smart. I did not give enough of myself in bed; in other
words, I was not freaky enough.
I played different roles in these relationships. For the men who refused to grow up and
cut the apron strings, I had to mother them. Oh, and the children; no, not my son, their
children. I was the free babysitter so they could go out and hang with the boys.
My biggest role–playing wife without the ring or marriage license. When I think about
all the time I wasted cooking, cleaning, washing and organizing their sad lives, all in the name of
L.O.V.E, I realized that Tina Turner was right: love had nothing to do with what I was going
through. It was all for the sole purpose of their self-gratification. Moreover, in the end I was left
emotionally confused, physically exhausted, mentally disturbed, and financially broken- exactly
what they wanted.
More myths: you are still young, it is not too late, he is out there for you, and you just
have not met him yet. Why do people tell you this when deep down inside what they really
want to say is, “ Girl, hang up your dating boots, your prince isn’t coming, settle for that frog,’
because at this stage of the game you have to take what you can get; or settle for what’s
behind door number three.”
Drum roll please…. and behind door number three we present Miss Lonely. Yes, most
women fear being alone, because we have been told being alone is BAD.
Yes, the defect is always with us. It goes something like this: I am alone because I am a
nag, hard to get along with, too needy, too fat, too thin, too broke, or too independent.
I am selfish, bossy, noisy, fussy, and refuse to have sex 10 times a day. I am too trusting
or not trusting enough. Oh, here is the climax: it is my fault that I have been replaced with a
better woman. But no, I am not another angry woman, as I have been labeled. I am a woman
who has arrived at the end of these experiences finally understanding who I am, where I am
going, and knowing how I am going to get there, and what I will and will not put up with and
why. My story is about ignoring the warning signs, such as, when it is time to get out of an
abusive relationship. A reminder: abuse does not have to be physical to leave scars. I had to
learn how to put the brakes on, make a U-turn, and haul ass in the opposite direction when the
drama got too deep.
This is about not lowering standards by accepting the behavior of a serial cheater. By
doing so, we women put our health in danger by continuing to have sexual intercourse with
him: all because women are told this is all a part of what men do. Well, A.I.D.S kills and herpes
is for life, and do you really want to stay with a man who has been labeled community
property?
This is about all the bad relationship myths that are damaging to women’s self-esteem
and self- respect and undermine us a woman. This is about living in a society where the double
standard motto that “Boys will be Boys” is an accepted norm, while women are expected to put
out and shut up.
To the men who have the great fortune and guts to read this book, it is about your
understanding that men can be broken, needy, and have parts of them that need to be fixed
too. Stop measuring your worth by your penis and start thinking with your brain about the
quality of emotional stability, respect, caring, and love that you can give to your partner.
A final note: Men, stop being selfish; a relationship is not all about you. Women, stop
talking to your girlfriends, your mother, his mother, and talk to him, God, or a therapist.
When entering into a relationship, both men and women need to think about what they
are doing and why. Nobody likes a player and games are for social activities, not a relationship.

What Say You?

TWG Cover

Available on Amazon

The Wait is Over

Qualities of a true Parent

Dear readers,

This might be unpleasant for some people.

Sperm donor, absentee father, dead beat dad, poor excuse for a mother, estranged parent, these are some of the labels given to parents who separate themselves from their children. There are mother and fathers who make difficult decisions to distance themselves from their children. I’m not referring to the mothers who use  thier children as weapons to gain financial support, while denying the fathers visitation.And the mothers  who teach their children to hate their fathers because he left them.

Angry fathers taking the mother of their children to court suing them for sole custody citing  that they are unfit to raise children. The fathers  who avoid paying child support by staying unemployed, or they drop out of sight moving to another state or country.

Its a shame that  children get caught in the middle of messy, ignorant, selfish affairs of adults. In the end most parents are pushed away from their children. A person can take but so much drama.

What Say You?

 

 

More Drama

showposter

More drama, when things go wrong, people say the Devil is busy. I say People are busy. We live in a world that lack compassion, love and plain old common sense. People are too busy minding their own business to notice the needs of others. Did you know that a smile, kind words, a hug or laughter could make a persons day, or change their life.  So much cruelty, people are getting meaner and meaner. No time to listen to their fellow mans troubles, because people are concerned with being greedy and selfish. Most adults remind me of a two-year toddler. They go through  life stomping their feet, with  arms folded across their chest singing the ” Mine, Mine, Mine”  and ” Me. Me. Me” song.  What happened to the good old days when people cared?

 

What Say You?