I Got Caught Up

Dear Readers,

It has been about three months since I posted. Here to let you know that both my dragthepen WordPress blog and my brand Conversations with J. R is doing well. I have been busy getting my books out, currently working on the sequel to A Different Flavor of Love, in production meetings for my first film The Conversation, due out Summer 2023, during all this something amazing happened. After 16 years working in the field of education, I thought it was time to take a break and try another profession. I updated my resume, released it out into the universe, crossed my fingers, and prayed. And in July,  I was hired as an Independent Living Specialist for residents in transitional housing. Bear with me I titled this ” I got caught up”, But what I should have said was ” I was overwhelmed” meaning, I was not ready for the changes that were coming.

I was excited about being a part of a dynamic organization making a difference in people’s lives helping them to obtain permanent affordable housing. However, as time progressed, I noticed that this new opportunity was chipping away my personal time. I was not blogging, or creating videos for my YouTube channel, I stopped working on my manuscript, and I constantly had to reschedule my book photo shoot. It was not just my creative side that was suffering; I was always feeling physically and mentally drained. I consider myself to be an active person, and never have I ever been a lazy person. During this transition period I developed unhealthy habits, like eating junk and fast-food, I stopped cooking and Grub Hub became my new best friend, I gave up on exercising and I let go of my favorite pastime reading. To make matters worse I have a puppy and he felt my frustration when I came home and did not want to interact with him, so he started acting out. 

My mood changed and I became antisocial because the new position was sucking the life out of me. Here is the scary part. Since I created my brand Conversation with J. R. Floyd, I advocate for self-care and during my conversations l ask my audience to think about WIN What’s Important Now, learn to slow down and prioritize life in the order of what’s important first, what can wait, and what’s not needed. I became caught up in the excitement of something new and the increase in salary, and justified sacrificing myself, time with family and friends, self-care, vacations, even a well-planned staycation to reset and rejuvenate. I saw the increased salary the pathway to the life I want until I understood what’s sacrificed. Think about this: being caught up in careers and higher salary to the point that relationships suffer, marriages breakdown, family falling apart, and developing physical and mental health issues. In my situation I had to stop and think about what’s happening and why? 

That was six months ago, and I began the slow process of rearranging my life and adjusting getting myself back on track. My creative side is the best and most powerful part of me. When I create a podcast, blog post or producing ideas for a new book, this gives my life meaning and purpose. I used to think that when people say phrases like, ‘ take back your life” that it sounded corny, not anymore. Due to what I have experienced these pass months I honestly understand how I allowed key areas of my life to slip away from me, it was simply ” I got caught up”. I became caught up in the hype of being around new people in a different working environment, and I forgot to practice balance. It was a difficult adjustment transitioning from higher education to an office setting.

I think by now you got the point of this conversation. Reminder, the holiday season is fast approaching, and people are, going to become stressed with planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, overspending, and holiday parties. I am going to end with these wise words. 

Trust the process that everything will fall into place

Slow down and savor the present moment

Make time to enjoy the small joys in life

Do your own thing because you want

to and not because you have to

Give your mind and body the love and attention it deserves

Don’t take things personally just work towards the best version of yourself

Pause and reset

Relationship Theory 101

white and pink floral freestanding letter decor

Photo by rovenimages.com on Pexels.com

Dear Readers,

Most relationships happen by accident and some do not happen at all. Let me explain, I was having a conversation with a friend who happens to be a psychologist. We were talking about the relationships topics that I discuss on my You Tube Channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd. His view on relationships is that most partnerships are not successful because people lack the knowledge of how to create and sustain the foundation for a long lasting relationship. Most people do not understand that there are stages of a relationship and how to work through these stages. Therefore, for some people this is what usually happens, people meet and they dive right into feelings, chaos creeps in then BOOM! The relationship is over leaving people to wonder what happened or did not happen. Most of the time relationships end with one or both partners feeling bitter. I am sharing this theory in hopes that people will stand back and observe the stage their relationship is in and if it is not the desired stage, then take steps bring balance into the relationship.


Stage 1: Romance: this is the dating or courtship process of getting to know each other without physical intimacy.

  • Most couples move to quick towards the physical aspect in the beginning staged of a relationship. People rarely take time to know whom they are sharing their bodies with. At this stage of courtship women often, feel pressured into a physical relationship before they are ready. Most women comply because they want to keep the man interested in them.

Stage 2: Power Struggle: this stage is when people recognize that they are different, and they begin to work on the dynamics of the relationship. This is the most difficult stage because the couple is trying to find balance and there is sometimes the issue of control. Meaning person wants to take the lead role while dominating the other.

  • In stage 2, the couple engage in heated arguments due to one partner wanting control: ( an equal partnership isn’t about control its about balance and compromise)


Stage 3: Stability, hopeful the couple is committed to building a strong partnership and they move into STAGE 3, only after they have resolved the power struggle in stage 2. Stability of a relationship happens when the couple can function as individuals for their own personal growth, but acknowledge and recognize that they are in a partnership and do things for the betterment of the relationship.

Stage 4: Commitment: At this stage, there is deeper and clearer communication about the state of the relationship and the future a couple might engage in conversations that lead to the transition to co-habitat or marriage, children, buying a house etc.

Stage 5: Co – creation this stage is where the power struggle is truly over and the building of the partnership continues after a certain number of years invested in the partnership. Each person feel secure and they moves towards investing in retirement for the freedom and security of their future.

To me, this theory makes sense and has stirred me to think about why the majority of my relationships were not successful. If an individual is not first, ground in who they are and what they want out of life; then their partnership will reflect the same disorganized as their thinking.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this information. For more relationship topics, subscribe to my You Tube Channel, Conversation with J. R. Floyd or listen to my podcast on Sound Cloud.