Tech Babies

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Dear Readers,

Hear ye, hear ye,  parents electronic devices are not babysitters nor do these mechanical devices take the place of parental interaction. Stop training babies to think that their need for nurturing can be meet by staring at the screen of a iPhone or ipad. When these little tods cry, squirm, and lift their arms up to you they need your touch, warmth, closeness and most importantly your time and undivided attention. Sing to them, read to them, put down your technology, and get down on the floor at their level play games with them and allow yourself to enter into their beautiful world of imagination. Children are creative and they want to talk and share there ideas. When parents substitute television programs like the Disney channel, video games, and you tube as a means to entertain children, the message parents are sending is that their precious bundle of joy who is now walking, talking and demanding more time have now become a bothersome inconvenience.

Christmas 2018, I had the pleasure to spend time with my three amazing grandchildren who my son has lovely nicknamed peat, repeat and three-peat, because their last little sweet heart was certainly a surprise. I traveled over 600 miles by bus to North Carolina, to be in the presents of these amazing gifts from God. The joy of seeing their faces lite up as they greeted me took away the soreness from my body. A.J. & Sklyar the young ( 5 & 6)argued about who was going to take my suitecase to my room. The oldest Mariah (11) asked 100 questions about how long was I staying . Over the next few days, we played with cars, dolls, playdoh, and created our own pretend cooking contest using playdoh. On Christmas day my eldest granddaughter suggested that everyone wear Santa hats, and write a reindeer’s name across the front. We reminded in our PJ’s the entire day and took naps as needed.

I enjoyed the cuddle time in bed with all three; and especially the one evening that I spent with my eldest granddaughter watching princess movies, making snacks and talking. During my fives days stay the only interaction with technology was to ooh and aah over their fathers new cell phone. I think there were other electronic gadgets, but they weren’t the center of attention. For an extra added bonus I had bonding time cooking Christmas dinner with my son. My mind often wonders back to my childhood memories of family time, and how some of the life lesson I learned is due to the time, patience and attention I received from the adults in my life.  I spent time in the kitchen with my dad, who taught me how to chop fresh seasonings, he brought me a chefs hat and called me his prep chef.  My mother allowed me to help with the baking and at the age of 17,  I baked my first wedding cake. My grandmother taught me how to carefully and thoroughly clean a house.  And I watched my first western about with a few of my uncles. There are other fond memories about how the adults in my life helped to shape the person that I am today.

Advanced technology is great because new discoveries helps society move forward. however, ask yourself this, how have we as parents allowed technology to interfere in  the relationship with our children? When was the last time the entire family sat down for dinner and talked? Or planned an old fashioned game night. Do you know what books your children are reading? Are there Televisions in every room of the house? In my opinion its not  society that at fault for the way some of our children are turning out, it is what we are over exposing them to. Remember this announcement ” it 10:00 PM do you know where your children are?” I say,  ” its 10PM do know which device your children are on?”

Thank you for reading

What Say You?

J. R.

Family Matters?

Dear readers,

Please bear with me, this post is a little longer than I am accustomed to writing, I believe that what I have to share will be beneficial to someone.

A few weeks ago I was invited to Sunday dinner at the home of the Evans family (family of five, three girls plus mom and dad) Ms. E is an old college mate, she didn’t finished college because she got married and started a family. I was excited! Being single has its pros and cons, one downside is eating alone. Anyway, I arrived at 2 pm with a bottle of wine, flowers for Ms. E and crumbs cupcakes for the girls to have after dinner.

Mr. E. greeted me at the door and quickly disappeared upstairs to the bedroom. After hugging the girls and chatting for a few minutes, me and Ms. E settled in the kitchen, opened the wine and proceeded to catch up on life.  An hour into my visit my excitement went from 10 to 0. I was looking forward to a family day, you know the old fashion way families use to spend time. Playing games, laughing and talking over dinner and then maybe a movie with popcorn to close out the evening.

What I got was the girls in the living room engaged in their electronic devices, there wasn’t any talking, no interaction between them, they sat staring as in a trance at their I pads, and their ears were plugged up.  I sensed Ms. E’s embarrassment about the situation, so she justified their behavior by saying that Mr. E has been working long hours during the week, and on the weekends he likes the house to be quiet.

Ms. E and I stayed in the kitchen drinking wine, chopping, cooking and talking. After a while reality set in Ms. E wanted company. She craved someone to talk to, she was feeling lonely and disconnected. There came a point during the period before we ate dinner that the youngest child become restless, she was told by Ms. E to go and play quietly in her room. She was sent to play in her room alone, instead of remaining in the kitchen with us.

The other children were woken from their trance by Ms. E. to set up the table. At 4 pm, Ms. E called Mr. E to the dinner table, by this time the youngest child had fallen asleep, the father said leave her to sleep, Ms. E did not protest.  It took a moment to get out plates filled and for a conversation to start, but it wasn’t a meaningful conversation. The girls answered my questions with short response, and Mr. E mostly talked about how much over time he was doing, and Ms. E kept asking everyone did they want more to eat. During dinner the youngest child woke to join us.

After we ate, Mr. E excused himself to go and full the vehicles up with gas for the coming week. I helped Ms. E cleaned the kitchen, put the food away and to set up coffee and the cupcakes for the girls, they ate a few bites and asked to go to their rooms to watch a show on the Disney Channel. I stayed with Ms. E for another hour and said my good byes at 7pm, there was no Mr. E in sight.

I went home and got out my old family albums and spent time remembering the good old days. I called Ms. E letting her know I got home safe and thanking her for the dinner. I extended an invite for her and the family to have dinner at my house the next Sunday. What I didn’t tell her was that I was going to invite some of my family members so she can experience what a good old fashion Sunday Family Dinner is supposed to be.

Family bonding is important.

What say you?