Storms’ come to make you

Dear Readers, My name is J. R. Floyd the creator of Drathepen, the author of “The Waiting Game & a different Flavor of Love”.  My latest accomplishment is my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd, dedicated to discussing issues that impact our relationships, men & women empowerment,  and exploring the destruction of the family. This year ( 2020) I challenged my readers to join me as I write Letters to Self. Each month I pick a topic and write a letter to self that I share on live streaming on Facebook and  You tube. Thus far, I have read Jan, Dear 2019, a farewell to the old year, February was Dear Love, March ,Dear Life, and below is the letter for April. this letter is to the people who support me,nand for all the people who are holding onto the end of their rope.

            

 

Dear, supporters, viewers, and readers, this is for you. What do you do when life constantly hits you with storms from all sides? I am currently at the start of what could develop into a mega storm, but I refused to lay down and be drowned by the waves of fear, anger and worry.  I am fighting back. I had plans for the way 2020, but it seems I am getting off to a slow and rough start. I know what you’re saying, we are only four months into the new year, give it some time and things will turn around. Yeah, OK, there might be some truth in that advice, but  time waits for no one and if I don’t get up now and revise my plans the year might turn out to be like all the other years when I waited and waited for change that did not come. Before my transformation into living life with better clarity, purpose and vision the old me would have laid down and allowed the world to stomp on me. I allowed the naysayers and the negative conversation in my head to convince me that my goals ain’t worth pushing through the obstacles that come to steal my joy.

 I won’t be satisfied living through another year sitting on the sideline whining and blaming life for what it did not bring to me. And, yes, it is mentally, emotionally, physically draining and disappointing to sit down, plot out a plan, craft a vision board, and set everything in motion only to be blocked by problem after problem. For a moment I did cease all activity. I folded my arms like a two year old and stomped my feet. So, after I recovered from my tantrum, I sat down and regrouped. Some deadlines will be pushed back. I will have to dig a little deeper and work more overtime to bring in the extra cash I need for my new video lights, the photo session for my website, for the new mobile phone that I desperately need. 

When in doubt I encourage you to take a moment and think about why you set goals and made plans. When in doubt I am going to continue to believe that I can and will achieve what I set out to do,which is to to continue to make my vision a reality.  I have conquered many mountains to arrive where I am today. I am enjoying the creative person I have become. I appreciate the lessons I am learning while rebuilding my life after three years of loss and devastation. Through all of the darkness I have emerged a better, charmer, happier person with a purpose and vision for my life. I am excited about working on my five year retirement and relocation plan. At this point in my life I do not have the leisure to sit around and whittle my thumbs. This is my chance, my time, my opportunity to achieve all the things that I have pushed back, rescheduled, and given up on because I thought they were unreachable and that I wasn’t worthy of living my best life. I no longer hold other people accountable for my happiness. I set expectations for myself and hold myself responsible. And, yes, with all of life’s ups and downs there can be better days. I look back on the downtime as lessons towards brighter days. I wake up each morning looking forward to life because I finally have the chance to make my life the way I want it to be. Everyday isn’t perfect and that’s okay. 

I am here to tell you that storms pass, and no matter the destruction they leave behind there is always a reason to be thankful and the chance to reflect, rebuild, and discover something new.

 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

The Prince and the Empress

The Prince and the Empress

 King Leopold Edward Nenufar of the Slopheovaia kingdom is old and in poor health. The time has come for Prince Christian Edward Nenufar to marry. He is the only heir to the throne. Prince Christian desired to have a union like the one his parents’ had. Their marriage was forged out of love, not out of a call to duty.  While growing up in the palace, he witnessed his parent’s admiration for each other. When his mother, Queen Camila Nenufar died while giving birth to a second child, a girl, who also perished, his father almost ceased to live.  After many years, the Kings royal council pleaded with him to take another wife; He refused, the King said, “I had his one true love.”  This is the story of how Prince Christian Nenufar found his one true love.

Part 2

The voyage

Prince Christian was overseeing the preparations for the voyage he chose four of the finest ships from the royal fleet. One of the ships would carry gifts to present to the bride’s father and mother.  Due to his poor health, King Leopold could not travel with the prince. Instead, he choose six of the wisest men from the royal council to accompany Prince Christian to help with the marriage contract. During the activity, Prince Christian remembered Lanceworth telling him that he had information about this mystery woman. He left the shipyard to find Lanceworth to inquire about what he knows. Prince Christian, Lanceworth in his bedchamber packing for the voyage.

“Lanceworth my good man” he called out to him.

“Yes my lord,” answered Lanceworth.

“I see you have been busy,” said the prince looking around the room at the packed trunks.

“Yes my lord there is much to be done. We set sail tomorrow “Lancewoth said moving around the room.

“Sit for a while and talk to me. Share all that you know about the maiden I seek.” asked the prince

Lanceworth “her name is Drusilla she is a lady at the house of Laurelton.

Interrupting him, the prince said aloud, “Laurelton, Laurelton, where have I heard that name?”

Lanceworth replied, “It is one of the lesser known kingdoms west of Penfirden.”

“That’s about a month’s journey we can make good time if the sea is fair to us.” Prince Christian declared.

Lanceworth replied with these words to encourage the prince, “My lord you need not fear Fate is on your side. The king has sealed this union with his blessings. You must believe that all will be well. You will find her.”

Prince Christian. Smiled at him and said, “You have always been a trusted friend and brother, and I will put my worries aside.”

“You must take your rest because you will need your strength for this journey.” Said Lanceworth, “I will be back first light to gather the rest of your belongings.” When Lanceworth left the room, Prince Christian wondered if he could sleep; he feared that if they did not find her he would be doomed to select another bride.

It was noon the next day when King Leopold walked with Prince Christian to the ship. The sun shined brightly and the wind blew at a steady pace.

The prince spoke in a somber voice, “Father I wished that you were able to make this journey with me.”

“My son, it’s a heavy burden seeing you take this journey, but you are wise you will make it to your destination. When you do stay but a week, to rest your crew and replenish your ships, remember to leave the negations of the marriage contract to the men who sit on my council, soon they will be serving you. Lastly, if your mother were here she would advise you not to allow your emotions to take hold of you. Remember you are of royal blood.” With these last words, the king embraced him, and watched the prince disappear below deck.

As the ships drifted deeper into the sea, the king looked up at the sky and whispered, “Bring him back to me.”

Prince Christian stood on the deck of the ship looking out over the horizon. It has been six days since he left home they traveled a great distance. The weather and sea had been kind. If they continued at the current pace, they will arrive at Laurelton in twenty days. In the meantime, the prince made himself busy. He met with the council and they prepared him for the marriage negotiation.

On the twelfth night of the journey, the sea remained calm. As a reward for the crews’ hard work Prince Christian announced that, the men could enjoy an evening of music and a few rounds of ale. During the night the helmsman, fell asleep at the steer causing the ship to drift of course and away from the other vessels. By sunrise, panic sieged the ship. Prince Christian was awaken and told of the mishap. The ship’s captain ordered the crew on deck. It had to be decided what punishment the helmsman should face.

Prince Christian was the last to arrive on deck this would be his first decision made on his own. He had no desire to punish the Helmsman’s mistake. After all, it was because of his order they indulged themselves in ale. Prince Christian was more concerned about getting back on course then disciplining the helmsman. In the meantime, the captain went below deck to study the maps to get them back on course.

After being asked to step forward by the Prince, the helmsman immediately began to beg the Prince’s pardon, by saying “this is all my fault whatever my end I will except it”

As the Prince stood still and speechless, all eyes were fixed on him. He knew that he had to make the right choice or these men would not respect him when he becomes king. The Prince decided to include the entire crew in this mishap and this is what he said.

“I don’t think that one man must shoulder the blame I hold my entire crew at fault. We are a team are we not? If one man falls then we all share in this failure. The task now is to push forward; there will be no further talk about this. We need to keep our wits and work together to get back on course.

The Prince did not notice when Captain Bartholomew arrived back on deck, He addressed Prince Christian, “Permission to speak” Asked the captain.

“Permission granted, “Replied the prince.

“There is a way to get back on course and shorten the travel time to Laurelton but it will take us through enemy territory.”

Prince Christian asked the Captain “And what about the other ships do you think that they will turn about looking for us? “

Captain Bartholomew responded, “I am sorry my prince I did not think of this,”

The Prince continued, “I am not a navigator of the sea, however, if we turn around and go back towards Laurelton, we could run into the other ships, if not pray that they will continue on and find us there.”

Captain Bartholomew bowed to Prince Christian and said, “As you command my prince.” He turned to the crew and gave the order to turn the shop around. The men scattered to their stations.  The captain asked Prince Christian, “What is to become of the helmsman?”

Prince Christian replied, “Let him be, I have a feeling that after today he will never fall asleep at the steer again.” And with that, Prince Christian returned to his cabin. He wanted to be alone. As soon as he entered the room, there was a knock at the door.

“Who’s there?” asked the prince in an irritated tone.

“Lanceworth my lord, you haven’t had your tea.”

“Enter” the prince called out.

Lanceworth entered the room with a tray he busied himself setting up tea for the prince.

Prince Christian let out a sigh “This situation is my fault. I thought I was doing right by these men. I ordered them to enjoy a night of fun because they are far from home and their families.”

Lanceworth answered, “You’re wrong, the helmsmen is to blame he should have exercised better judgement.”

“Was I wrong not to make an example of him in front of the others?” asked the prince.

“No, what good would punishing him do, these men need to see that their future king can show mercy, they don’t need a king they fear, in this way they will be loyal to you.”

“lanceworth, you are wise beyond your station maybe when I become King I will give you a position on my counsel.”

“Much thanks my lord, “replied Lanceworth, but “I must prefer the position I have now.”

“Good “uttered the prince “I like having you serving close to me. I feel a kinship between us that I don’t feel with the others.”

“Thank you my lord I am honored.”

“You need not be so serious or formal when we are alone. What is there to eat?”

After Prince Christian had his meal, he dismissed Lanceworth, and told him to inform the captain that he is not to be disturbed unless it is of uttermost importance. He wanted to rest and join him after a few hours.

“As you wish” Lanceworth said, as he closed the door.

Prince Christian lay across the bed, feeling weary.  He drafted off to sleep…

He allowed himself to get into a deep sleep that was sweet and colorful. He entered a garden where the scent of the flowers was strong and intoxicating.  When the prince looked down at his feet, he discovered that he was floating on a rainbow colored path that lead him into a mystical forest where there are hundreds of butterflies that looked like fairies. He came upon a bluish green waterfall that reminded him of Drusilla’s eyes. At the end of the waterfall was a pond. He kneeled to touch the water; it felt cold on his hands. While he was looking across the pond, he heard someone singing.  It was a women’s voice and she was calling his name. He listened to hear the direction the voice was coming from.

He noticed that the butterflies started to fly in the direction of the voice as; he followed them deeper into the forest. The singing became louder. He kept going until he came to what seemed to be the end of the forest. There was a bright blinding light, the voice continued calling to him. As he walked into the light, he felt a hand, touching his shoulder. The voice kept calling, “Wake up, wake up.”

Prince Christian opens his eyes, and sees Drusilla. For a moment, he does not know where he is. Looking around the room, nothing is familiar to him except his Mahoney writing table. The walls are a deep purple with Gold flowers. The bed is draped in a canopy with the royal   signea for the king.

He remembers seeing Drusilla in the palace garden. Their eyes met and there was no need for words. Something stirred within their souls at that moment. Prince Christian know he had found his one true love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Word Wall part 2

Dear readers,

anger, sadness, frustration, rage, betrayal, rejection, disconnected, loneliness, longing, reconciliation

Anger is an emotion that we are entitled to feel and express, but if holding onto Anger past the letting go due date, Anger can fester and lead to great Sadness, Frustration and Rage. People Reject being around the Anger. Loneliness is the result of Longing to be Reconciled with those who Disconnected due to  Anger.

 

What Say You?

 

PodCast

Dear Readers,  Happy 4th of July.🇱🇷

 

white and red flag

Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

I have ventured out into a new area. I have a podcast, Conversations  with J. R. Floyd, on Sound Cloud. Listed below are a few topics. Happy listening.😊

  • Looking for Love
  • Who are you dating? Guard your heart
  • Readings from my first novel, The Waiting Game
  • Broken people in relationships
  • Stolen Innocence
  • Trends and expectation in relationships
  • Guard your emotions
  • I refused to allow you to steal my joy
  • Childhood scares
  • Be the person you want to meet
  • Empower yourself
  • The stages of a relationship
  • My story. My journey
  • How do you use your words

The you for listening.💖

J. R.  host of Conversations with J. R. Floyd on You Tube

 

750 words for 10 days

Dear Readers,

A few days ago I decide to join a 10 day writing challenge. Each day the group is given a writing prompt and the goal is to write 750 words or to write for 30 minutes. As of today, March 24, 2019, We are on day 6. Thus far this challenges has been an amazing experience. During this writing process I am purging myself of emotions and experiences that need to be left on the page so that I can move forward, and live life feeling lighter, free and clear from past events. I am sharing Day 4 with you. I hope that this will inspire you to look within for healing.

Day 4 prompt: Conversation with Me

The conversation I have with myself is often unkind. I’ve been hard on me because I feel that I am a failure, I have failed life, and failed to get to the place that I thought I should be. I never have a conversation with the young me because I would not know what to say to her. The young me is a distant memory. I don’t know what she wanted, dreamed and craved to be. I know that she felt that no one wanted her, she was told she was ugly, with a big forehead. The young me was bullied, touched, beaten and was confused. My conversation with me has been one of anger because I didn’t accomplish what I said I would do for self. I try to say nice things to me, but I don’t know when I lost my confidence. I say , “ self why did you lose your discipline, why did you give up, why did you allow people to beat you down.” I have always talked myself out of having the best life has to offer then I would become angry at others for enjoying what I should have been doing. I keep saying self one day we are going to…. But I never get to that day. I don’t push myself like I use to. I use to look in the mirror and say your beautiful, your body is beautiful, your smart, creative and your going to make it. So, now I’m learning to reprogram the conversation that I have with me, and not to take in the chatter from the outside. When I was younger I wished someone would have told the young me that it’s the conversation that we have with ourselves that can cause the most damage. Healing is a process and I am enjoying rewriting the script. So, What your conversation with self?

The Prince and the Empress

 King Leopold Edward Nenufar of the Slopheovaia kingdom is old and in poor health. The time has come for Prince Christian Edward Nenufar to marry. He is the only heir to the throne. Prince Christian desired to have a union like the one his parents’ had. Their marriage was forged out of love, not out of a call to duty.  While growing up in the palace, he witnessed his parent’s admiration for each other. When his mother, Queen Camila Nenufar died while giving birth to a second child, a girl, who also perished, his father almost ceased to live.  After many years, the Kings royal council pleaded with him to take another wife; He refused, the King said, “I had his one true love.”  This is the story of how Prince Christian Nenufar found his one true love.

Part 2

The voyage

Prince Christian was overseeing the preparations for the voyage he chose four of the finest ships from the royal fleet. One of the ships would carry gifts to present to the bride’s father and mother.  Due to his poor health, King Leopold could not travel with the prince. Instead, he choose six of the wisest men from the royal council to accompany Prince Christian to help with the marriage contract. During the activity, Prince Christian remembered Lanceworth telling him that he had information about this mystery woman. He left the shipyard to find Lanceworth to inquire about what he knows. Prince Christian, Lanceworth in his bedchamber packing for the voyage.

“Lanceworth my good man” he called out to him.

“Yes my lord,” answered Lanceworth.

“I see you have been busy,” said the prince looking around the room at the packed trunks.

“Yes my lord there is much to be done. We set sail tomorrow “Lancewoth said moving around the room.

“Sit for a while and talk to me. Share all that you know about the maiden I seek.” asked the prince

Lanceworth “her name is Drusilla she is a lady at the house of Laurelton.

Interrupting him, the prince said aloud, “Laurelton, Laurelton, where have I heard that name?”

Lanceworth replied, “It is one of the lesser known kingdoms west of Penfirden.”

“That’s about a month’s journey we can make good time if the sea is fair to us.” Prince Christian declared.

Lanceworth replied with these words to encourage the prince, “My lord you need not fear Fate is on your side. The king has sealed this union with his blessings. You must believe that all will be well. You will find her.”

Prince Christian. Smiled at him and said, “You have always been a trusted friend and brother, and I will put my worries aside.”

“You must take your rest because you will need your strength for this journey.” Said Lanceworth, “I will be back first light to gather the rest of your belongings.” When Lanceworth left the room, Prince Christian wondered if he could sleep; he feared that if they did not find her he would be doomed to select another bride.

It was noon the next day when King Leopold walked with Prince Christian to the ship. The sun shined brightly and the wind blew at a steady pace.

The prince spoke in a somber voice, “Father I wished that you were able to make this journey with me.”

“My son, it’s a heavy burden seeing you take this journey, but you are wise you will make it to your destination. When you do stay but a week, to rest your crew and replenish your ships, remember to leave the negations of the marriage contract to the men who sit on my council, soon they will be serving you. Lastly, if your mother were here she would advise you not to allow your emotions to take hold of you. Remember you are of royal blood.” With these last words, the king embraced him, and watched the prince disappear below deck.

As the ships drifted deeper into the sea, the king looked up at the sky and whispered, “Bring him back to me.”

Prince Christian stood on the deck of the ship looking out over the horizon. It has been six days since he left home they traveled a great distance. The weather and sea had been kind. If they continued at the current pace, they will arrive at Laurelton in twenty days. In the meantime, the prince made himself busy. He met with the council and they prepared him for the marriage negotiation.

On the twelfth night of the journey, the sea remained calm. As a reward for the crews’ hard work Prince Christian announced that, the men could enjoy an evening of music and a few rounds of ale. During the night the helmsman, fell asleep at the steer causing the ship to drift of course and away from the other vessels. By sunrise, panic sieged the ship. Prince Christian was awaken and told of the mishap. The ship’s captain ordered the crew on deck. It had to be decided what punishment the helmsman should face.

Prince Christian was the last to arrive on deck this would be his first decision made on his own. He had no desire to punish the Helmsman’s mistake. After all, it was because of his order they indulged themselves in ale. Prince Christian was more concerned about getting back on course then disciplining the helmsman. In the meantime, the captain went below deck to study the maps to get them back on course.

After being asked to step forward by the Prince, the helmsman immediately began to beg the Prince’s pardon, by saying “this is all my fault whatever my end I will except it”

As the Prince stood still and speechless, all eyes were fixed on him. He knew that he had to make the right choice or these men would not respect him when he becomes king. The Prince decided to include the entire crew in this mishap and this is what he said.

“I don’t think that one man must shoulder the blame I hold my entire crew at fault. We are a team are we not? If one man falls then we all share in this failure. The task now is to push forward; there will be no further talk about this. We need to keep our wits and work together to get back on course.

The Prince did not notice when Captain Bartholomew arrived back on deck, He addressed Prince Christian, “Permission to speak” Asked the captain.

“Permission granted, “Replied the prince.

“There is a way to get back on course and shorten the travel time to Laurelton but it will take us through enemy territory.”

Prince Christian asked the Captain “And what about the other ships do you think that they will turn about looking for us? “

Captain Bartholomew responded, “I am sorry my prince I did not think of this,”

The Prince continued, “I am not a navigator of the sea, however, if we turn around and go back towards Laurelton, we could run into the other ships, if not pray that they will continue on and find us there.”

Captain Bartholomew bowed to Prince Christian and said, “As you command my prince.” He turned to the crew and gave the order to turn the shop around. The men scattered to their stations.  The captain asked Prince Christian, “What is to become of the helmsman?”

Prince Christian replied, “Let him be, I have a feeling that after today he will never fall asleep at the steer again.” And with that, Prince Christian returned to his cabin. He wanted to be alone. As soon as he entered the room, there was a knock at the door.

“Who’s there?” asked the prince in an irritated tone.

“Lanceworth my lord, you haven’t had your tea.”

“Enter” the prince called out.

Lanceworth entered the room with a tray he busied himself setting up tea for the prince.

Prince Christian let out a sigh “This situation is my fault. I thought I was doing right by these men. I ordered them to enjoy a night of fun because they are far from home and their families.”

Lanceworth answered, “You’re wrong, the helmsmen is to blame he should have exercised better judgement.”

“Was I wrong not to make an example of him in front of the others?” asked the prince.

“No, what good would punishing him do, these men need to see that their future king can show mercy, they don’t need a king they fear, in this way they will be loyal to you.”

“lanceworth, you are wise beyond your station maybe when I become King I will give you a position on my counsel.”

“Much thanks my lord, “replied Lanceworth, but “I must prefer the position I have now.”

“Good “uttered the prince “I like having you serving close to me. I feel a kinship between us that I don’t feel with the others.”

“Thank you my lord I am honored.”

“You need not be so serious or formal when we are alone. What is there to eat?”

After Prince Christian had his meal, he dismissed Lanceworth, and told him to inform the captain that he is not to be disturbed unless it is of uttermost importance. He wanted to rest and join him after a few hours.

“As you wish” Lanceworth said, as he closed the door.

Prince Christian lay across the bed, feeling weary.  He drafted off to sleep…

He allowed himself to get into a deep sleep that was sweet and colorful. He entered a garden where the scent of the flowers was strong and intoxicating.  When the prince looked down at his feet, he discovered that he was floating on a rainbow colored path that lead him into a mystical forest where there are hundreds of butterflies that looked like fairies. He came upon a bluish green waterfall that reminded him of Drusilla’s eyes. At the end of the waterfall was a pond. He kneeled to touch the water; it felt cold on his hands. While he was looking across the pond, he heard someone singing.  It was a women’s voice and she was calling his name. He listened to hear the direction the voice was coming from.

He noticed that the butterflies started to fly in the direction of the voice as; he followed them deeper into the forest. The singing became louder. He kept going until he came to what seemed to be the end of the forest. There was a bright blinding light, the voice continued calling to him. As he walked into the light, he felt a hand, touching his shoulder. The voice kept calling, “Wake up, wake up.”

Prince Christian opens his eyes, and sees Drusilla. For a moment, he does not know where he is. Looking around the room, nothing is familiar to him except his Mahoney writing table. The walls are a deep purple with Gold flowers. The bed is draped in a canopy with the royal   signea for the king.

He remembers seeing Drusilla in the palace garden. Their eyes met and there was no need for words. Something stirred within their souls at that moment. Prince Christian know he had found his one true love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Word Wall part 2

Dear readers,

anger, sadness, frustration, rage, betrayal, rejection, disconnected, loneliness, longing, reconciliation

Anger is an emotion that we are entitled to feel and express, but if holding onto Anger past the letting go due date, Anger can fester and lead to great Sadness, Frustration and Rage. People Reject being around the Anger. Loneliness is the result of Longing to be Reconciled with those who Disconnected due to  Anger.

 

What Say You?

 

Hurts Worse Than a Heart Attack.

Dear readers, I have some thing personal to share with you.

SONY DSC

 

Today, I’ve gone through a few emotions starting with anger, sadness, to disappointment. Its come me my attention that a person who have walked me through some tough situations over the past two years, has a bias against their black people. This bias is a result of having had an education paid for by their parents, living in an upscale community with the white elitist, paid for by their parents, and solely socializing with white people, because they feel that people of color, are beneath them. I wasn’t prepared for this news. I conclude that I was the token black friend to a person who I once respected and admired. It’s not easy for me to trust people. I’m at a loss for word.-Thank you for listening.